Chapter Nine - Confessions

In the Jedi Council chamber, all the Masters were there in person seated in their Council chairs, including Master Fisto. There were only four chairs which were empty. They were the ones which belonged to Master Kolar, Master Tiin, Master Kenobi's and Anakin's.

Obi-Wan stood before them, with Anakin beside him. The weather outside seemed to reflect Anakin's emotions. The sky was full of dark, grey clouds, the sun was completely obscured, and there was a hint of a thundery shower in the air. Over by the doors stood Padme, Ahsoka and Artoo who all looked concerned and despairing for Anakin. Ahsoka was standing ready to defend Anakin if anyone saw to insult or upset him.

The entire Council remained quiet as Obi-Wan and Anakin declared to them that Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala were married. Had been for the past three years since the dawn of the Clone Wars and how the whole affair had been kept a deep secret the past few years. Obi-Wan finished by telling them all that Padme was now pregnant with Anakin's child. And finally, that the child appeared to also be Force sensitive. The room was filled with whispers and murmurs from the Masters.

After exchanging a look with Anakin, Obi-Wan left his side and went and seated himself in his Council chair beside Ki-Adi-Mundi.

Anakin was now standing alone in the center of the room as though he were standing on trial. But he still felt like a man who was awaiting his execution. Keeping his face calm he braced himself for what now would befall him.

Mace Windu leaned forward, his skin looking darker in the faded light as he glared at Anakin who met his dark eyes. And when he spoke his voice sounded deeper than usual. "Anakin Skywalker, you stand before us accused of breaking the Jedi Code and disobeying the Order. You were too old to have been trained as a Padawan when you first came to us. The only reason you were allowed to join was due to the final wish of Master Qui-Gon Jinn to Obi-Wan Kenobi. Since then we have honored Kenobi's own wish to allow him to train you as his Padawan despite our decision. But it appears that we were right all along. Not only you have broken the rule of "No attachments" and married Senator Amidala, you have also impregnated her. Therefore, you have shown that you have no dedication or discipline to the rules of being a Jedi."

Each word felt like the stab from a lightsaber. Anakin knew this would happen right from the moment he agreed to return with Kenobi. He now felt helpless and weak but remained silent, keeping his eyes fixed on Windu's, which seemed to hold him in place like restraints.

Windu sat up straight again and addressed the rest of the Masters. "I hereby vote that Anakin Skywalker is to be expelled from the Jedi Academy and removed from the Order."

Anakin waited to hear a chorus of "Ayes," but to his surprise, the response which followed Windu's declaration were a few silent mummers, with some silently agreeing or disagreeing.

Master Yoda raised a hand for silence and then turned to Anakin's master. "Master Kenobi. Your thoughts on this, let us hear."

Anakin clenched his teeth as he glanced desperately to Obi-Wan. He was his only hope of support on the Council and now was his only chance to stand up for him. Would he agree with Windu and stick to his long time dedication to the Jedi Code or would he support him as a brother?

"Well, from what I have seen and felt, is that Anakin is not guilty of anything you may commit him to. It is after all, the Jedi way to love someone and to love all things which are good. And that is all that Anakin has ever done. You can all feel the Force surrounding his unborn child even as we speak."

A few heads turned to glance at Padme who was still standing beside Ahsoka and Artoo at the door.

Yoda did not respond to Master Kenobi's statement just scratched his chin, seemingly to be in deep thought.

On the other side of the room Master Kit Fisto spoke up. "It is such a beautiful thing, that Anakin has found a reason beyond the way of the Jedi to live. And I believe that he will bring a strong Force attuned child into existence. I see no reason for this to be criticized."

Anakin was delighted and gave Kit Fisto a small bow of his head in gratitude for his kind words and support. The green Nautolan gave Anakin his gentle smile of understanding. Anakin could not help but look at his still healing injuries from his fight with Darth Sidious. Two of the tentacles which came out of his head had been sliced off, and he appeared to have been slashed in the shoulder. He was lucky to have survived such a fight.

Master Ayla Secura then broke the silence. "I second Master Fisto's statement. I see no wrong in Skywalker's actions. He has always been nothing but noble to the Jedi Order, even by putting his own life at risk to save us and others from certain death."

Anakin could barely register Master Secura's supporting words when Ki-Adi-Mundi's calm voice followed. "Yes, even at the age of nine, young Skywalker was brave enough to fly right into the heart of a space battle, and his actions saved countless lives when he destroyed the droid control station. Despite being reckless at times, he has been the reason for many successful victories against our enemies."

"I agree," Master Plo Koon added from the far right of the circle of chairs. "For as long as I have known him, young Skywalker's dedication to the Jedi Order has been undeniable even during impossible times. In his short time as a Master, he was able to teach a youngling to become a true Jedi and be just as dedicated and loyal as he is. His dedication as a Master was clearly shown when he proved her innocence when she was falsely accused. He knew that she was innocent, despite all the evidence which convinced others otherwise. And despite his Padawan's departure, she did the Republic a great service in succeeding in capturing Sidious's former apprentice. Success from the skills she would have learned from her Master."

Ahsoka smiled at Master Plo who gave her a small nod. She had hoped more than any of them that Master Plo would support them. She knew in her heart that he would honor his word.

A small silence followed these supporting statements and Anakin was at a lost for words. He had not expected to get this much support. But would it be enough to save him?

Mace Windu seemed to be dumbfounded by the statements of support and appeared to be just as speechless as Anakin, including Master Yoda.

Unexpectedly, Anakin felt a presence approach him and turned to see that Ahsoka had joined him in the center of the room. "I may not be a Jedi any longer, but I feel I have the right to speak on behalf of my former master." She declared.

Yoda nodded once. "Speak what you wish to say," he granted.

"Look at yourselves and see what you are really doing. If you put yourselves in Anakin's boots you may see things more clearly. But I don't expect many of you to be able to, because Anakin is one of a few rare Jedi who was brought up differently to the other Younglings you have recruited for many years, myself included. Your traditional recruitment of Younglings is to separate them from their families at an age before they begin to understand or feel family bonds of love. Then when they are brought here, they are raised to not even know what that means or how it feels. We can all agree that Anakin is different, because he was raised through his early childhood knowing what family love feels like. But when he chose to become a Jedi you couldn't have thought he would grow to be exactly like all of you because by the laws of nature and the Force, no one is the same, not even two Jedi Masters. And from what I have seen and felt from Anakin when he was my master, letting go of his attachments is not something he would ever accept. I'm sure Master Obi-Wan would agree as he's known Anakin for longer than me. He has told me that it pained Anakin deeply when he could not see his Mother in his ten long years of training. I cannot imagine that kind of pain since I was brought up with no memory of my family."

There were more mummers round the room and Anakin was looking down at his former apprentice in a somewhat new light. In that moment, she seemed to have aged as though she was older than she really was. Mace Windu seemed about to speak, but something behind Anakin caught his eye. Before he could turn to see what it was, a hand touched his arm and he turned to see that Padme had now joined him and Ahsoka. She took her husband's hand and Ahsoka stepped aside obviously sensing that the Senator was about to share a statement of her own.

"I will also speak for Anakin," she declared and just like they did for Ahsoka, no one protested. "Some of you may think that Anakin seduced me and that is the reason why we fell in love, but that was not the reason why. The truthful reason is far deeper than any of you realize. As queen, I could have had any suitor, but I was dedicated to ruling my home world and keeping peace and democracy. I had not thought seriously about a possible love life for myself, as I had more important duties to worry about. It wasn't until I saw the reality of things I had not witnessed before. When I met Anakin as myself and not as a queen, it was then that my life truly began. I saw that he was not just a mere slave boy as many saw him as. I saw him as a brave, confident and generous boy who was willing to help us without any wish for reward. In his eyes "Good deeds came with their own rewards." He was unlike any other boy I had ever met and I came to care about him. Even more when he made the decision to leave his mother to find a better future for himself. I could see without asking him that it pained him deeply having to part with her. But even after you denied training him, he still carried on giving without the thought of reward. Especially in the Battle of Theed. My home world would not have been freed all these years if not for him. In my eyes, he had the heart and soul of what a Jedi should be. Anyone who could not see that was blinded by tradition."

Anakin squeezed her hand following that last sentence and glanced round the room fearing she would get a backlash. But many of the faces of the Jedi had become somewhat sympathetic and sad. A few others like Mace Windu wore stony blank masks.

Padme squeezed his hand back and continued. "As Kenobi said earlier, it is the way of the Jedi to love all things good and Anakin's love for his mother never died. I have known my mother all my life and cannot imagine a life without knowing her. But I know I would fight to the death to protect her and the rest of my family. Anakin would have done the same, he has told me many times of how much he missed her, and I could feel his pain. Especially when he sensed she was in danger. And when he was meant to remain on Naboo to protect me, I allowed him to go and find her. Because to keep him from going to save someone he loved would have been an inhuman thing to do. I remember the sleepless nights he'd had, worrying about her and her safety. And at the time she needed him most, you would probably have kept him from going to her aid. He was lucky enough to get there during her last moments. Shmi herself was lucky to see what an extraordinary man her son had become. The pain which followed for him was unbearable for me to see, and I knew that same protectiveness he'd had for his mother, he would share with me as well."

It was painful to once again relive the memory of his mother's death, but Anakin kept silent and did not let go of her hand which reassuringly gripped his in return.

"I did know that Anakin was in love with me from the moment we were reunited. To begin with, I doubted the possibility of us being together because of our duties to the Republic. Myself as a senator and Anakin as a Jedi. But I was lying to myself because I did have feelings for him in my heart. When I looked at him, I did not see him as a Jedi Padawan and my protector. I saw him as a young man, a handsome young man whose actions repeatedly professed his love for me. A man who was inevitably following the call of his heart above that of pragmatism and propriety. This was no ploy to garner physical favors; it was all because of love. Real, pure love from his heart. And I love him because he's a man who follows his heart and by some will of the Force it led him to me in times of need. Just like the other night, it was his heart that brought him to me."

She glanced up to meet his eyes, which were full of warm emotion. He had not expected her to give a speech as long as this, but it seemed that she had the power to turn a whole room of people with any simple speech, whether it was long or short. Padme had a gift with words. He wanted so much to lean down and kiss her, but there were too many surrounding them.

"That is something to bring to mind," Ahsoka unexpectedly chipped in. "That night when Anakin went to Padme and they flew to Naboo? I believe it was the same day that he had learned the truth about the Chancellor. Ask yourselves what might have happened that night if Anakin did not have Padme and was not deeply in love with her. Do you not wonder right now what path he might have followed if his love for her did not exist?"

No one answered. Obi-Wan looked concerned, Mace Windu looked somewhere between surprised and disbelieving, and Yoda's expression was still unchanged as he scratched his chin.

"If it wasn't for Anakin, you would not have found Darth Sidious who was right under your noses. Anakin is the reason you are all still alive. I say this for another reason. While I was fighting Maul on Mandalore, he kept warning me that pretty soon the Republic was going to meet its downfall. I now believe that he knew somehow that Sidious had some evil plot to overthrow the Jedi and destroy democracy. I believe that if not for Anakin it might have come to pass. And if you do expel him, you are casting away the man who is the very reason you and maybe millions of others still draw breath."

"Exactly," Padme spoke once more, taking a single step from Anakin's side. "Anakin needs to remain a Jedi, saving people is what he was born for. To take that away from him would cripple every good thing he ever did for you. So I say this to you now as a voice of truth. Think carefully before you pass your judgment. Those of who have already expressed support can clearly see who Anakin Skywalker really is and the rest of you should follow. And finally, I will say that nothing you say or do would ever tear us apart from each other. Ani and I are connected by the bonds of love, and you can't sever that, not even with a thousand lightsabers."

She stepped back over to Anakin who put his arm round her. He could not believe how silent he had been throughout all this. For the first time in his life he felt completely speechless with delight at the level Padme and Ahsoka were going to help him.

The faces of the Jedi Masters who surrounded them were a mixture of dumbfound fascination and for a long time no one spoke. The silence was deathly and Anakin wanted someone to break it, but it seemed inevitable. He glanced out of the window and he could swear that in the far distance, rays of sunlight was beaming through the dark clouds onto the city. Was it a sign of hope?

"I have something else to add," said Ahsoka. "I think we're wasting precious time with this whole discussion. Because this war is not yet over." She turned to Obi-Wan. "When you went to fight General Grievous on Utapau you said that the Separatists were also there. What happened to them when you engaged with the General?"

Kenobi blinked and his gaze shifted off to the side as he thought. "It appeared that they fled the planet while we were still dueling. Where they are now, I do not know."

Ahsoka folded her arms. "I think we should focus on that first and put this business on hold until after the war is over."

"Yes, people are still at risk and we need to ensure their safety first. We can put this matter on hold and come back to it later," piped up Padme.

"Quite right, you both are. Find the Separatist Council we must," Yoda responded, sitting up in his seat.

Mace Windu didn't seem to agree, but nonetheless he did not dare contradict Master Yoda's words.

"We must find out where they fled to and go arrest them. Without Dooku, Grievous and now Sidious, they will be defenseless and easy to apprehend, no doubt," said Obi-Wan.

"There is still the question of where to start searching," Plo Koon added.

"If we were to name a few places and then form divided search parties, we may have a chance of locating them," Aayla Secura suggested.

"Palpatine must know," Ahsoka chipped in. "All we need to do is get the location from him."

"I'm afraid that is easier said than done," said Windu. "We can't all focus on his mind with the Force as we did with Cad Bane in order to make him to tell us. Because when we managed to disarm him, he attempted to use Force lightning on us. Therefore, we had to take drastic measures to prevent him using the Force when we imprisoned him. We cannot allow him to use or feel the Force if we are to keep him imprisoned and ourselves safe."

"So using the Force to get him to speak is too risky and out of the question, and at the same time we won't be able to sense whether he is lying or not," Obi-Wan surmised.

"And it would go against the laws of nature to torture the information out of him. We'd be making ourselves just as bad as our enemies." Said Padme.

Numerous more ideas followed these statements, but Anakin found himself unable to concentrate on them anymore. He took a step forward letting go of Padme. Windu met his eye and the various voices ceased.

"Yes, Anakin?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Please Master, can I get some air?" he asked.

Obi-Wan seemed to understand and nodded. "Of course, go ahead Anakin."

Anakin bowed once in thanks, but just as he was about to leave Mace Windu spoke up from behind him.

"The decision of your sentence will remain on hold for now Skywalker, as Senator Amidala and Ahsoka Tano have requested, but it will be returned to later. Remember that."

Anakin did not respond to Windu's sharp words and left the room alone.

Outside in the corridor, Anakin did not know where to go. This place had become almost alien and unfamiliar to him despite living here for more than a decade of his life. He went back down in the turbo lift and walked down the shadowed corridor until he stopped by a large window which revealed a spectacular view of the city. He glanced in the direction of the prison building where he knew Palpatine was imprisoned. His words of assurance and care echoed in his head as Anakin thought of him again. Though he had made his decision to go with Padme, he still wondered what would have happened if he had gone and stopped Windu. So many unknown things, probably. Things he feared to even think of.

He may have followed his heart, but despite their precautions, Obi-Wan had still found them and learned the truth. Even though it felt better to finally tell him everything and receive his understanding, he had convinced Anakin to return here. He was completely convinced that the rest of the Council would instantly expel him once finding out. But it seemed that a handful of the Council actually supported them. He knew Windu would not, but he feared what Master Yoda thought of this. He knew that the ancient Jedi Master had a strong opinion on this matter and there didn't seem to be any reason why he would go against his own word. Any opinion made by Master Yoda seemed to always outweigh any other made by the other Masters.

He went back to the conversation they had shared in Yoda's chamber not long ago:

"Careful you must be when sensing the future Anakin. The fear of loss is a path to the Dark side."

"I won't let these visions come true, Master Yoda."

"Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is."

"What must I do, Master Yoda?"

"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose."

"Anakin?"

Anakin was jolted out of his memory and saw that Padme standing beside him.

"Are you alright?" The concern in her voice was undeniable.

He gently slipped his hands up her arms to hold her shoulders. "I can't stop thinking about what their decision will be. It may be on hold, but not forgotten. If they expel me, I will not be able to defend you or the baby. I don't understand why Master Windu only assumes the worst about me. Why can't he see all that I have done these past years as a Jedi? He's speaking as though it was a crime that I fell in love with you and that I'm nothing but inferior to the Jedi."

She placed her hands on his waist. "Ani, you're not an inferior. You have always been an example to many. The people see you as "The Hero With No Fear." I don't think there will be anything to fear. We're at the brink of this war ending. What danger will there be left to destroy our happiness?"

"I still fear the vision. It may have stopped, but I still remember it."

Padme caressed his cheek. "The med droid said I was very healthy, Ani. And it confirmed that there didn't seem to be any possibility of me dying in childbirth."

Anakin gazed back out at the city, and once again he heard Palpatine's urging voice in his memory.

"Anakin, if one is to understand the great mystery, one must study all its aspects, not just the dogmatic, narrow view of the Jedi. If you wish to become a complete and wise leader, you must embrace a larger view of the Force. Be careful of the Jedi, Anakin. They fear you. In time they will destroy you. Let me train you. Only through me can you achieve a power greater than any Jedi. Learn to know the dark side of the Force, Anakin, and you will be able to save your wife from certain death."

He lowered his gaze feeling his heart get heavy inside his chest, and then faced Padme, a decision made. "There is something I have to do, Padme. You're not going to like it, but I believe it will ensure your safety and the baby's. But you have to trust me."

Padme's expression became worried as she gazed into his eyes already fearing what he may be planning.

Author's Notes
Hello there my readers. Here is possibly the longest chapter there will be in this story. I may be wrong I may not, but I hope you enjoyed it. I know I left you all on a cliff hanger last time but sometimes the best things about stories is the mystery of not knowing what will happen in the next chapter. I know there is another cliff hanger here but I don't think this one will last much long either.
Just keep sending me your reviews and support and I will know how much you are enjoying this.

Thank you very much to my BETA reader Carrie2sky!

May The Force Be With You
LouisaJane007