Winter Blue (Angst)
Written by my nameless editor (who doesn't watch the show)
/inspired by season 7 episode 9/
Silence echoed through an apartment in the city of Chicago. The soft warm rays of dawn painted the white walls of the apartment as the sun woke from its slumber. The streets of the bustling city were deceivingly quiet with blankets of snow covering the sidewalks. A lone blonde woman stared out the window near the leather couch of her living room with the occasional sips of her coffee being the only sound filling the room. Her ocean blue eyes look out the window as if it searched for something that didn't seem to exist. The sudden vibration of the phone on her coffee table pulls her from the trance she was in. She sees the caller ID, Vanessa Rojas, as her phone lights up. "Hey", the blonde greeted. "Hey, Hail. What's up? Any plans today?", Vanessa asked. "I don't know..", Hailey answered blankly. "Wanna hang out tonight? You need to go out more.", Vanessa suggested with concern. "I'm good.", Hailey said, trying her best to sound a bit more cheerful. "Alright, whatever you say.", sighed her best friend. After Vanessa reminded Hailey that she would be there for her if she wanted to talk or hang, Hailey set her phone down on the coffee table and walked into her bedroom. As she threw herself onto the bed, she hugged the pillows. A familiar scent of sandalwood and vanilla lingered on the black sheets of the bed and its pillows. A scent that she knew all too well. She breathed in the faint fragrance and images of a brunette surfaced in her mind. Memories of them chasing down suspects, sharing small talks in the break room, and giving silent glances to each other came rushing to her like a truck speeding on a highway. Hailey bit on her lower lip, refusing to start her morning with another session of bawling. It took a few minutes before she gathered the energy to pick herself up and prepare to take a shower. She found herself in awe since this would be the first time in months that she decided to go out not only for groceries.
Once Hailey was finished getting dressed, she went down to the parking lot on the side of the building. She opened the door to her car and started the engine. Since it was still a rather early time, she doubted that there would be a lot of people in the destination that she was headed off to. After driving about an hour, she arrived at an area that glowed a beautiful white with trees and grass blanketed by snow. She took a deep breath and started to make her way to what she truly came for. The sound of crunching snow stopped along with her footsteps. She stood in front of a gravestone that was the new home of the man she would always hold dear to her heart. Brushing off the snow from the cold surface of the grave, she sat down in front of it. Her fingers found them tracing the name engraved onto the stone. With every emotion that swirled within her, she carefully read the name, Jay Halstead. Events of the day that would plague her for life replayed in her head.
It was summer that day with the heat burning her back as Hailey ran on the street towards the warehouse where Jay and Angela were held as hostages. With the help of Kevin, she was able to pass through the small window and made her way into the building. With her senses being alerted, she held her gun in front of her while she cautiously made her way through the warehouse. Her breath being slightly shaky due to the tension of the situation. Her heart suddenly leapt as she heard the clang of metal not too far away. Peeking out of the shelf that she used as cover for potential attacks from the enemy, she saw Jay brawling it out with one of the grunts. Images of Jay hurt flashed across her mind and adrenaline started pumping through her system. "Jay!" she yelled as she ran towards him. She knelt down beside him and witnessed the brunette pull out the dagger of his kidnapper. "Hey, are you okay?", Hailey's soft voice reached his ears. Jay looked at the woman beside him. He was surprised at how much her eyes could soften despite the current circumstances. He then reminded himself that this wasn't the time to be drowning in those piercing azure eyes. "I gotta go help Angela...she's downstairs", Jay panted. With the remaining energy he had, he lifted himself ignoring the throbbing sensation he felt on his head from his prior fight and went towards the basement. As Hailey reported to her fellow officers of the current situation, she felt a presence behind her. She whipped her head back and dodged the incoming blow from her new assailant. She did not expect to have more enemy guards since she thought her fellow officers would have taken care of the remaining few. The assailant then threw a punch at the blonde but missed. While Hailey avoided the incoming kick to her head, she ducked and landed a strong punch on her enemy's gut. Their struggle continued for a while and in the middle of it, Hailey heard the sudden bang of a gunshot. 'Jay!', her mind screamed. With all the strength she had, she fought off her assailant quickly as she could so that she could check on Jay. When the assailant was finally unconscious, she bolted towards the basement and was met with a passed out Angela; however, what made her eyes widen was the amount of blood that pooled around Jay's fallen body. She immediately reported to the other officers about the emergency. She then went on her knees to examine Jay's current condition. Panic took over her being when she saw that Jay got shot in the area of the lungs and he was losing too much blood. The paramedics carefully transferred Jay onto a backboard and took him out of the basement, then they placed him in the vehicle. On the ride to the hospital, Hailey couldn't let go of his calloused hand. Once the ambulance arrived, he was rushed into the emergency room. Several hours of pacing and restlessness passed, doctor Marcel, who was in charge of Jay, stepped out of the emergency room. Hailey instantly stood up from one of the benches that lined the walls of the hospital hall. At the moment the doctor opened his mouth, Hailey's heart came to a halt on what she was hearing. She couldn't accept it. No, she wouldn't accept it. "He has lost too much blood. We couldn't save him.", Marcel grimaced. Hailey wanted to slam the doctor on the wall and scream at him to take back what he said. The anger and despair that crashed on her was tearing her insides apart. She was shaking and her fury was urging her to take it out on something or someone, but all she could do was fall back on the bench she sat from. As soon as Vanessa appeared on her side, the next thing she knew she was crying.
Hailey pulled herself out of the memory of that day as she wiped the tears that escaped her eyes. She found herself staring again on the slab of stone that stood in front of her. Her face displayed a bitter smile. "Hey", Hailey said towards the gravestone. "You good there?", she asked with a scoff. The sight of his emerald eyes that conveyed a million feelings to her took over her mind. Her heart began to ache with the only feeling she felt these past months. 'Why?', Hailey thought with her head down. Tears began to form again on the corner of her cerulean eyes. 'Why'd you leave?!', she screamed in her head as she hugged her knees to her chest. The images of his eyes were then replaced with a vision of him holding her hand with his eyes crinkling as he gave her his brightest and widest smile. Even though this would remain a reality she would never be able to grasp, she couldn't stop the warmth that began to course through her chest. Her mind then took her to taunting dreams of her eating dinner with the man she loved and a small blonde girl with sparkling viridian eyes, while they talked about their days. She loathed herself for only realizing this feeling she held for her longtime partner. A love that she would never be able to convey to him. A type of love that she knew she would not ever be able to share with any other, no matter how many decades pass.
Hailey remained there on that patch of snow until the sun began to prepare for the moon to take over its job. She then picked herself up from the ground and gave one last glance at the tombstone. She made her way back to her car and decided to get dinner before she headed back to her apartment. Hailey shut the door to her home and stood on the entryway for a moment. She reminisced of times she spent visiting this apartment when Jay invited her over for dinner or when she had to drag his drunk ass back to his house. She found herself smiling to no one for what seemed to be the second time today. After taking a long hot shower, Hailey went to her bed and pulled the sheets over. Having an emotionally draining day, her eyes began to shut but before drowsiness took over her she could've sworn she heard his husky voice. "Thank you..", the voice softly whispered as her body began to drift to wherever sleep took her.
P.S. My nameless editor doesn't hate Upstead or else we wouldn't be friends :)