"Life is already so short." Why did Shikamaru feel like those words were directed to him—or, more accurately, the words he'd been unable to suppress when it looked bleak for Sasori and all of them. "No one should have to die too fast."
Shikamaru tossed Choji a sideways glance, a heavy feeling settling uncomfortably in his heart. There were no tears from his friend, but there was a looming sadness in his eyes that spoke a thousand words. He looked away.
Because, you see, Shikamaru reacted to situations by not reacting at all. It was building up slowly and eating him away on the inside—had been ever since Ino died. He didn't like to show it, but her absence affected him more than anyone would ever know.
There was a sudden coldness in the air, and Shikamaru didn't have any more time to dwell on his thoughts.
A man—actually, no, teenager; he didn't look like he was much older than Shikamaru himself—approached them, managing to look haunted and surprised at the same time. The surprise doubled when his gaze landed on the Hyuuga sisters, Hinata and Hanabi.
Then Hinata spoke, and Shikamaru realized that he recognized the newcomer.
"N-Neji-nii-san?"
Dazed by his appearance, Hinata stumbled forward, only for Hanabi to yank her back by the arm.
"No, Hinata-nee!" the younger Hyuuga cried. "We don't know if it's actually him or not! He could be a monster!" She spat out the word with a hatred that Shikamaru could relate to. Her voice grew hysterical. "There was a monster with a Byakugan, wasn't there? I bet that's him!"
"Obviously." Anko unsheathed Kusanagi.
"Wait!" Neji, clearly realizing that he was going to be dismembered, beheaded, or both, held his hands up in a surrender, shakily getting down on his knees. Then he fixed the position of his arms behind his head. Anko approached anyway, holding Kusanagi and looking very much like an executioner. "I—"
"Monsters don't get last words," Anko stated coldly.
"Hold on, Anko." The words slipped out of Shikamaru's mouth before he could even register them. The leaders were shaken up right now—Kakashi stared hauntingly at Neji, Gai was eerily silent, and Itachi was covered head to toe in blood and was lost in his own, silent grief. The others weren't doing so great either—Deidara was simply trembling with barely controlled rage, his father was second-guessing himself, and Sasori was unconscious. Kisame could have done something, but his sentiments did not align with Shikamaru's. The shark-like man was first and foremost a warrior, and he saw it fit to slay the creature that murdered and disabled their comrades.
But Choji's words—they were intended for him, he was certain—struck a chord in him.
"Excuse me?" Anko didn't turn around. "I would love to hear you justify this, kid, but why don't we talk about this later, hm?!"
"Kill him already." Deidara's voice was dangerously soft. "Do it, Anko, before I do."
Shikamaru wracked his brain, eventually coming up with in record time, "He's a Hyuuga, isn't he? Doesn't this make this a clan matter? We have the two heiresses here with us. His fate is within their jurisdiction." At least then, Hanabi aside, Neji would have a fighting chance with pleading to Hinata.
"Are you fucking shitting me right now?!" Anko did whirl on him this time, confident that Neji wouldn't be attacking anytime soon. "We are not in Ame or Konoha! Fuck your jurisdiction—none of that matters out here, you hear me?! His kind killed Taro and so many more!"
"WAIT!" Hinata shouted. She pushed forward, placing herself between the kneeling Neji and Anko and shielding him with her body.
Hanabi was dreadfully confused and infuriated. "What are you doing?"
"Don't kill him. Please." For once, Hinata did not stutter, even if she swallow a lump in her throat before continuing. "I don't think he even k-knows what he did. I-I can see it…"
"Bullshit!" snapped Deidara, and Shikamaru stepped aside for her. "Don't be an idiot, hm!" Hinata hadn't seen what her precious relative had done to Sasori, how that kneeling monster in human skin tore his body apart like a ragdoll. "He's not human, anymore, he's a demon!" Her cheeks were flushed in anger, and she looked ready to explode at any moment.
"He isn't!" Hinata argued. "Karin-san didn't sense anything bad, did she? If anything happens, I-I'll take full responsibility for it."
"Oh? I don't see how you can, seeing as you'll be the one he kills first, hm." Deidara stepped forward, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Anko, who was looking approving for the first time since all this started. "And even if that wasn't the case, that will just mean you'll be responsible for someone else's demise. Can your conscious handle that, Hinata-chan? Hm?"
Hinata steeled herself for what she would say next, closing her eyes. "Y-You really are a hypocrite, Deidara-san. 'How dare they kill him'. That was what you were thinking w-when Sasori was on the verge of d-death, wasn't it?" Deidara's furious chakra was permeating the air, and Hinata struggled to continue, feeling choked, "How… is this any different? In the end, they're b-both human."
"Kid," Anko began in warning, but Deidara talked over her.
"Is that what you really think? You must be delusional. This is entirely different situation—your nii-san lived as a monster. He still is. Sasori has never been a monster, hm." Her words seemed to breathe some life into Kakashi again, who stiffened. "You wouldn't be saying these things if he wasn't a Hyuuga!"
"You're right!" Hinata straightened like a ramrod after being berated, shocking all of them, who had only ever registered her as a weak-willed wallflower. And perhaps she was, but there was more to her than that. "But that's the c-case for you, too, isn't it, Deidara-san? I'm defending Neji because he's my family—because I love him. I'm the same as you; you defended Sasori-san because he is someone you love and care about!"
Hanabi looked down to the floor. "Hinata…"
Deidara was stunned into silence for a moment. "That—"
In the distance, they could hear the cave crumble, sending vibrations down the system.
"We need to go!" Rin voiced what they were all thinking, grimacing up at the ceiling as she protectively held her children close to her. "It isn't safe here."
She was right; they all knew that. In the dark, they didn't know what time it was, and their only resolve was to simply keep going.
When they emerged from the cave, it was nearly sundown. It was almost as if the world had changed, actually. Behind them, the clouds had been grey, and it had rained almost perpetually. On this side of the mountain, the sun could be seen, and the skies were a splash of oranges and pinks.
Izumi, Izuna now back in her arms, took a deep breath of fresh air, cleansing her lungs of the stale cave air.
There wasn't another bunker for miles, so they set up camp on the rocky landing just outside of the cave. They had a high view, and would be able to see any monsters coming from far away. Not to mention, they had the Hyuugas' Byakugan eyes on their side, as well as Karin's hypersensitivity to chakra (but considering her violent reactions to monster chakra, there was definitely a drawback). When the malevolent chakra wasn't overpowering her senses, however, she could sense even the smallest creature in the forest. She described their chakras as if they were a separate language to their own, like music attuned to the melody of the natural world. It was something she heard all the time, and got used to.
They were too exhausted, too shaken to hunt, and Sasori was obviously out of commission. So they settled for devouring some of their rations, which were carefully removed from a storage scroll that Kakashi held on to. He did it without complaint, without even eye-smiling obnoxiously at Hitoshi, who was the first to decide that they needed to eat.
A fire was soon up and burning, the people sitting around it to warm themselves. Beneath them, the cold stone sucked the heat from their bodies, so they kept close to the bonfire. It was almost like their early days out here again, when the war had only tilted the earth a little way around and there had been no monsters lurking around at every corner. But there was a gaping abyss among them, where living bodies had once been, threatening to swallow them whole; the coldness chilled them, as if they were standing alone in an empty space, and not their upside-down world.
Their distrust for Neji was blatantly obvious. They spoke not a word about him, or to him; but, rather, they sat as far away from as possible, sneaking glances toward his eerily still form from time to time. Even Sasuke was more well-received, Izumi have no objections to having her husband's little brother seated to her left.
Sasuke had just finished eating when he discovered Izuna tilting his head backward over his mother's bicep, staring up at him. He almost shivered. His nephew had the exact same eyes as his father, shape and all. Nonetheless, he was drawn to him, but refrained from touching him.
Naruto, seated on Sasuke's other side, was chewing his food when he leaned forward to see Sasuke's too-blank expression. A knowing glint came into his eye. "Ne, teme, why don't you just ask, 'ttebayo? If you can hold him, that is."
Sasuke's default scowl deepened, but his expression softened as he looked toward his baby nephew. Izuna reached chubby one arm out and stretched it behind him. Very hesitantly, Sasuke lifted his own calloused hand.
Of course, someone just had to open their mouth.
"What are you doing?" Tenten inquired suspiciously, spotting the subtle movement. Sasuke opened his mouth to make a cutting retort, but Izumi spoke up first.
"It's okay, Tenten." She'd noticed Sasuke's fidgeting long ago. Izumi shifted her body so that she was facing Sasuke. She held Izuna a little out, and Sasuke almost recoiled. He looked so breakable from this angle. He was smaller than the average baby—of that, Sasuke was sure. Was it just genetics, or had the environmental conditions of this godforsaken place taken more of a toll on Izumi than he'd first thought? Still, his being on the small side didn't stop Izuna from trying to grab Sasuke. But this time, Sasuke didn't reach out again, suddenly conscious of the blood he had on his hands. No—no, he didn't want to dirty him. Sasuke dug his nails into his palms, causing little half-moon indents to appear on the skin.
This shouldn't be me, he thought desperately. I shouldn't be the one sitting here with my family, it should be—
Deidara got up abruptly from her spot and walked away, announcing shortly that she would be going off for a little bit.
—Shisui. Kind, clever Shisui, who seemed to be friends with everyone. He was uncle material, not Sasuke. Not Sasuke, who had abandoned his family in their greatest time of need to serve a rogue relative.
Izumi glanced worriedly after Deidara. She saw Rin looking like she was about to get up and go after her, and made up her mind. Rin had Daichi and Hikari to look after—both children were a little shaken after the last attack. Sasuke grew paler than she'd thought he could get when she passed him the blanket-swathed Izuna. "Look after him for me, Sasuke-kun." Then she arose, lifting her arms up in a stretch. "If he gives you any trouble, ask Itachi." A small smile graced her features as she padded off toward the direction Deidara had gone.
Sasuke and Itachi exchanged a look, the former holding Izuna more awkwardly than he would have liked.
"Itachi," Sasuke began awkwardly.
"Sasuke, here." Reluctantly, Sasuke gave Izuna to Itachi, the baby bewildered from their parting. That would probably be the last time Sasuke ever got to hold him. It disheartened him, but he would understand. But then Itachi mirrored Sasuke's previous positioning of Izuna and fixed his mistake. "Hold him like this, so his neck is supported."
"I-I see." Uchiha weren't supposed to stutter, but Sasuke felt almost giddy as Izuna was returned to his arms. Remembering what his brother had showed him, Sasuke amended his hold. "Like this?" He had a bead of sweat dripping down the side of his cheek, and his eyebrows were furrowed in deep concentration.
Itachi, face darkened slightly by the monster blood that had stained his skin before he'd wiped it off, smiled wearily. "Aa."
"Are you sure about this?" Sasuke muttered. "Why are you—?" Whatever he'd been about to say next turned into a splutter when Itachi poked his forehead.
"Foolish little brother," Itachi said affectionately. "Why would I ever deny you from him? You're his uncle." Despite the light teasing, his eyes were somber, something that Sasuke didn't miss. I have enough regrets, otouto. Don't make me die with even more.
Swallowing the annoying lump in his throat, Sasuke forgot all about the stain on his soul, and touched Izuna's tiny, breakable finger with his own. It was like they were meeting for the first time. The tension in Sasuke's shoulder heightened for a split second before he relaxed. "Hey... Izuna-kun."
Deidara sat on the part of the hilltop where rocks and pebbles gradually turned into grass. Beyond her was a field of long grass, blowing gently in the night. Beyond even that were a stretch of trees that still kept their leaves, even in the winter. Perhaps if one stared at her from the distance, she would look to be the pinnacle of serenity, but in every cubic centimeter of her body, she waged a war with herself.
She knew, slowly, that she was being disassembled. Almost nothing was going right, and her own mind was just as much of an enemy as Tsukigakure or the monsters. She would not succumb to it, but it was as if she was slowly being pulled down, the only thing keeping her afloat immense fury and the small, minuscule hope that she wouldn't have to lose any of them.
Her fingers twitched, urging for something to do. She was never really the one to keep still.
A particularly cold wind crept down the back of her neck, and she pulled her legs toward her chest. Beneath her tatty Akatsuki cloak, the green gi she'd been wearing was even dirtier, fabric scraping almost painfully against her oily, blood-covered skin. She'd wiped most of it off, but she could still feel it there, sealing a layer of dust in between skin and bloodstains.
The ground crunched behind her, but she didn't turn around. Another figure crouched beside her for a moment before sitting down cross-legged.
Then she spoke, choking on her own tears, "I'm so sorry."
Deidara's eyes reached half-mast. "What for, hm?" Izumi's arms wrapped around her, but she still felt cold. The other woman began to shake as she cried, Shisui's name on her lips, but the blonde's eyes remained dry. The whirlpool continued to thrash inside her, but nothing escaped from her body—it was almost as if she was no longer in touch with reality, simply staring out into the distance unmovingly.
Shisui was dead and Sasori's life hung on the thinnest thread.
And she could do nothing about those two things.
Eventually, Izumi's sobs stifled, and she merely laid her head on Deidara's shoulder.
"Are we ever going to make it?"
Izumi's eyes shifted upward as Deidara spoke, her voice hoarse with the most terrible grief that the Uchiha woman had ever heard. Her own heart twisted in agony, and she had to take a deep breath to keep herself calm. "That's a really unfair question to ask me, you know."
A bitter feeling encased her heart. Of course it was. Izumi was not the right person to ask this question. None of them were.
Izumi's fingers entwined with Deidara's. "Hey, we'll get through this. We'll stay strong. Survive." Her voice was wavering with uncertainty, but she ploughed on. "And then we'll mourn everyone. Give them a proper funeral. We'll remember them forever."
A noisy bug chirped in the grass by Deidara's feet. She looked down, bangs falling further past her chin. Her hair had always been long, but it'd grown out to a point where it would be more difficult to manage properly. If Izumi's words ever came to fruition, she would trim it.
"He's going to be okay."
At that, Deidara straightened, giving Izumi a look. "What?"
There was a ghost of a smile on her face. "Sasori, of course. Deidara, you're one of my closest friends—did you really think I wouldn't notice? Not to mention, you don't hide it very well. Masami-san is still nursing her cheek."
"She deserved it, hm!" Deidara said sharply, her brewing anger lashing out like a whip for a split second. Sometimes, she felt as if she were burning, and it wasn't from the outrage she felt from today's incident. It was as if ghost-like hands were pressing against her chest, setting her lungs on fire and making her heart ache, condemning her for allowing them to die—Hitomi, Ino, Sawako, Shisui...
"Of course," Izumi said agreeably. "But we digressed—the point is, I understand. If that were Itachi in Kisame's arms, I... I wouldn't even know what to do." Her voice quietened to a small whisper in the night. "I'd be beside myself. I'd shut down. He and Izuna... they mean the world to me."
Her voice was so sincere. It almost made her shiver. At least out here, if gave in to the impulse, she could blame it on the cold. "I'm terrified," she admitted. "I don't want him to die. I don't want anyone to die, hm." But never, ever him. Not my Danna.
They say in silence for a bit, enjoying the evening as much as they could.
"So," Deidara started, desperate to lighten the weight on her shoulders, "I hear that Asagi's Izuna's godmother now?"
Izumi smiled sheepishly. "Already? Word travels fast. Who did you hear from?"
"The scar-nose guy. Iruka, un."
"It was a spur of the moment thing," Izumi explained. "But I don't regret it at all. I could have made it you, but you're a bit young, haha..."
"I'm nineteen," Deidara sniffed, cracking a small smile. "You've got five years on me, tops."
"Still." Izumi winked at her. "Don't want to saddle you with too much responsibility."
The small talk went on for a little longer before Deidara stopped trying to establish any sort of normalcy. "How is he doing? Sasori-no-Danna, that is, un."
"You'd be better off asking Sakura that," answered Izumi. She rubbed her arms as the mountain breeze kissed her skin through her clothes easily. "We should go back, or we'll freeze out here."
"Yeah," Deidara stood, helping her up, "you're right." Going back to camp meant facing Neji again, but she'd just have to deal with it and count on her sanity. Snapping at him wouldn't do them any good, even if the Hyuuga made Sasuke seem more forgivable.
Chihiro could have sworn she heard an owl hooting in the distance. It fascinated her to no end. Growing up in the city, she'd never seen or heard an owl before. The first half of their journey to Konohagakure was something she would like to erase from her memory forever, but she recalled that there'd been very few animals around.
Kisame passed her a can of goop. She looked down at it. She'd eaten worse. At least the fire was warm. Greedily, she slurped it up, thanking the shark-man between wet mouthfuls. It tasted completely unnatural, but food was food.
She hadn't seen the fighting, but there'd been a heavy atmosphere ever since the martial artists rejoined the civilians. The child could feel grief and sorrow permeating the air, and she wondered if she could ever comprehend it to the same extent as the adults.
"What's wrong kid?" Kisame noticed her glumness.
"Everything," Chihiro whispered. "Everyone is so... How many more, Kisame-sensei?"
"I don't know, kid." Kisame heaved a great sigh, nearly unbalancing the bandaged sword strapped on his back. "Hey, don't ask so depressing questions, okay?" He ruffled her hair, and she looked up at gloomily. "Chihiro-chan, don't think about them."
"How can I not?" She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, licking the sauce that had transferred from the corners of her mouth to her skin. Chihiro's voice dropped to a whisper as she raised her eyes slightly to observe Neji, who wasn't eating. The Hyuuga boy was merely sitting with his head down, surrounded by people with deadly talents, yet seeming so alone. Everyone is looking at him like he's a...
"Monster," Chihiro heard Masami mutter from close by, and she thought the woman was talking about Kisame at first. She had her mouth opened, ready to defend the shark-man, when she realized something.
Tenten stood up and grabbed Chihiro's arm when the little girl started toward Neji. "Chihiro! What are you...?" The bun-haired girl eyed Neji distrustfully, her grip on Chihiro's wrist tightening. "Don't."
"But he hasn't eaten anything," Chihiro protested.
"Oh, trust me, I'm sure he's eaten plenty," muttered Tenten, pulling Chihiro back to her place.
While Chihiro glanced at her confusedly, Hinata tensed up. She knew her friend only had the best for all of them in mind, but a part of her wanted to jump to Neji's defense. It was foolish of her, she knew, but—
"Listen." Tenten's voice sounded next to Chihiro's ear. "He isn't like Kisame, who only looks misleadingly scary. Chihiro, promise me you'll stay away from him."
She didn't want to promise, but Tenten's voice was stern and pleading at the same time. "Okay," she agreed quietly, "I will."
Tenten let out a breath of relief. "Thank you." She picked at her food for a little before saying, "I was fighting, too, you know. I didn't do much, mostly assisting the others. But I saw the Hyuuga in his true form."
"How can you tell which is which? Hinata-san seems to trust him enough."
"That's because she's biased," Tenten tried to explain as objectively as possible. "They're family, remember?"
"I guess it makes sense. It's like how you're like a sister to me, Tenten." Chihiro snuggled into the crook of her armpit.
Tenten faltered. "I suppose—"
"I'd still love you even if you became a monster."
"Oh." Tenten's voice was soft, more uncertain. Gently, she put her hand on Chihiro's head, ruffling her hair, not knowing really what to say to that.
"Hey, Sasuke, can I hold 'im?" Naruto asked, peering curiously down at a quiet Izuna. Quiet didn't mean asleep, though, and the baby was very much awake and trying to pull at Sasuke's bangs. He looked up at Itachi. "Uh, I mean, if you don't mind, 'ttebayo."
Itachi smiled. "Of course not, Naruto."
"Tch!" Sasuke glared at Naruto. "You'd better not drop him, dobe."
"Geez, teme! Have a little more faith in me, will ya?" He stuck his tongue out at Sasuke as he received the baby from the younger Uchiha brother. Eyes growing wide, he broke out into a grin almost instantly. "Aww, hey little guy! You can call me Naruto-nii if you want. Can you say Naruto-nii?"
Sasuke scoffed. "He's three weeks old, Naruto."
"Then I'd better start making sure that his first word is, 'Naruto-nii', dattebayo! I'll be the fun uncle and everything—y'know," Naruto rolled his eyes at Sasuke, "since you can't, with that giant stick up your—"
"Naruto," Itachi interjected sternly, noticing that Izuna seemed enraptured by the blond.
"—fun-zone!" Naruto amended at the last second.
Daichi choked on his food, shooting them an incredulous look. "'Fun-zone'?"
"Daichi." Rin gave her son a suspicious narrowing of the eyes. "You'd better not know what that means, ne?" Daichi resembled a deer in headlights for a moment, and Rin chuckled.
"O-Of course not! Hn!" Red-faced, Daichi turned away.
Hikari blinked lazily at her brother. "Aniki's being weird again."
"Hmph. Well, he is prepubescent," Chiyo's ancient voice came from the left. "It's only natural."
Meanwhile, Sasuke and Naruto were butting heads over the most minute of things. Sasuke fussed every time he found a mistake in Naruto's hold, from the head not being supported to the neck being too constricted or the blankets not being tight enough, he found something to complain about every twenty seconds. From the side, Itachi watched them with some amusement, the fire reflecting in his coal eyes.
"Boys." Both Uchiha and Naruto glanced upward to see Sakura standing over them with her hands on her hips. She took Izuna from Naruto, the blond giving little resistance. Then she proceeded to tuck him close to her breast, the baby gurgling contentedly. "Like this, Naruto. See?"
"That's what I was trying to tell him all this time," grumbled Sasuke. "But how do you know, Sakura? You hold it exactly like my brother, actually."
Sakura smiled. "Who do you think taught it to him in the first place?"
Naruto and Sasuke both whipped their heads to the side to see a very small blush on Itachi's cheeks. Funnily enough, Itachi remained completely straight-faced.
"I never got to thank you for that," Itachi said.
"It's no problem." Sakura gave him a thumbs-up. "I'm just doing my duty."
"Stop that." Sakura almost jumped when Sasuke suddenly spoke up. "It's not just your duty."
"Besides," Naruto added, "you saved Sasori-sama's life today, and thanks to you, we have Byakugan-guy under control. You're a hero, Sakura-chan."
Sakura swallowed, looking slightly frazzled as she fought back tears. "Guys..."
"Thank you." Itachi cut off any protest that might have come from her. "For saving my friend."
Sakura closed her eyes and tried to breathe steadily as she handed Izuna back to Itachi. "I... I really want to hug you guys right now."
"What's stopping ya?" Naruto retorted, grinning widely as he stood and opened up his arms. Returning the smile, Sakura embraced him tightly, and the blond blushed slightly. Then Sakura extended her hand down to the still-sitting Sasuke.
"Sasuke?" she prompted hopefully.
"Yeah, come on, teme, it'll help fight off the cold, 'ttebayo."
"Hn." Grunting, Sasuke stood without taking Sakura's hand and awkwardly shoved himself against the two. Naruto was right, he had to admit. It was warm. He couldn't remember the last time he had been in such close proximity to others.
As they hugged it out, Naruto and Sakura forcefully trapping a grumbling Sasuke in their hug and not allowing him to escape, Gai poked at the fire with a cold stick, round eyes flicking to the man beside him every few seconds. There were tears in Gai's eyes, and it wasn't just from the smoke. Kakashi was so silent next to him, and it hurt every fiber of his being. The loss of Shisui made him ache even more, to the point where if one looked closely, they could notice him shuddering.
"Kakashi-kun," Rin, sitting on the other side of Kakashi, touched his shoulder lightly, "Hey, turn around." Kakashi did, and Rin's face fell at the tell-tale shadow of grief in his lone eye.
The silver-haired man reached to her for a second, wanting to pull her close and never let her go, lest she fade away. But he faltered, arm dropping to his side. "Yes?" he asked lightly, as if that hadn't just happened.
Narrowing her eyes at him, she grabbed his hand. "Don't push me away. Please." Her eyes dropped. "I can't lose another person I love." It wasn't just her either, and Kakashi didn't protest when she drew him into a hug.
Slowly, he melted into her touch. "I'm sorry, Rin. I couldn't save him."
"Shisui?" Her voice was tinged with sadness. "Kakashi—"
"Not just him." He pulled back a little, and Rin was able to glimpse that bare grief in his eye again.
Obito. The name of the man they had both loved and cherished hung in the air.
"Don't," Rin murmured. "Don't, please. Never. I've never blamed you for it. You are not accountable for anybody's death."
Oh, but if he had been faster, been more aware—
Kakashi squeezed his eye shut, sinking into his what-ifs.
"Um, Kakashi-oji?"
He opened his eye to see Hikari looking up at him. "Yes?"
"What okaa-chan said is true. I miss otou-san very much, but I'm glad you're still here to comfort okaa-chan. Thank you, Kakashi-oji-san."
"Yeah," Daichi put in, looking a little less friendly than his sister, but earnest nonetheless. "Look after our mom, okay? You're supposed to be friends."
Kakashi froze up, staring at the children. For an instant, he saw Obito standing behind them, grinning as he patted their heads affectionately. Then he tore his gaze away from them, turning to Rin. Seeing his own sorrow reflected in her world-weary brown eyes knocked the breath out of his lungs, and he dug his nails into his palms once before relaxing. Eye-smiling ever so slightly, he said, "Hai."
"Hey, Kakashi!" Gai tapped his shoulder. "You should probably turn around. Your kids over there are having a youthful moment!"
Kakashi turned, and Kakashi saw. It made his heavy heart lighter, and his eye-smile grew more curved. "They haven't been my kids for a long time now." He watched in delight as Sasuke finally managed to yank himself out of Sakura's iron grip, and hassled Itachi for possession of Izuna (for he knew that Sakura wouldn't dare try to grab him again when he was holding a baby).
"It is true, Gai-sensei!" Tenten almost groaned when Lee joined in, tears in his eyes. "In the midst of tragedy, a truly youthful moment is blooming under the heavens." He put his arm over his face, sniffling. "Tenten... if only I could experience such a thing, then I would be truly joyous."
"Well," Tenten said awkwardly, "you have Chihiro and I over here if you want?"
"You mean it?" Tenten squawked when Lee clung on to her and Chihiro. "Gai-sensei! Look over here, we too are having a most youthful moment!"
Gai's eyes bloomed with even more tears. "Ah, excellent, Lee!" Though his voice was rather goofy by default, Tenten couldn't help but notice the sorrowful inflection to it. "Do you see, my Eternal Rival? My kids are just as youthful as yours, if not more!"
Chihiro yawned. "I'm tired..."
Chihiro wasn't the only one, and soon, everybody was popping futons out and laying them across the flat stone ground. There weren't enough for everyone, so they decided that two people would occupy each futon. Three, if they were small enough. It would provide body warmth, and everyone would be getting approximately the same amount of comfort.
Deidara and Izumi returned just in time to claim a futon each. Izumi, Itachi, and Izuna were a family unit, obviously, so Deidara shared with Rin, Daichi, and Hikari. All four of them were on the small side, so it wasn't too tight of a fit.
Anko and Kakashi volunteered to stand guard as well as keep the fire burning. They would be relieved by Izumo and Kotetsu in a few hours.
Sasori's singular futon was guarded by Sakura, Shizune, and Chiyo. The old woman hadn't left his side once, snapping at whoever had hostile sentiments when they got too close. She had given Masami a severe tongue lashing, and had sniped at a regretful Shikamaru as well.
Neji didn't get a futon. He slept far away from everyone else, but close enough within striking distance when it came to Deidara's bombs.
Not all of them went to sleep right away, or even got into their futons. Tenten and Shikamaru were one of the last ones up.
"Are you okay?" she asked him. They'd never really talked, but he had this odd look in his eye.
"Fine, just..." Shikamaru glanced at where Neji was lying down, cold and alone. "Troubled," he settled for. He didn't regard him with hatred, surprisingly enough. Not like Deidara or Anko or Hanabi or—
Tenten cleared her throat. "Are you afraid of him? That he'll snap and go on a rampage?"
Shikamaru gave her a dubious once-over. "Not exactly." For all his genius, he'd never been very good at explaining feelings.
"You stood up for him back there," Tenten remembered. "Why?"
Before Shikamaru could answer, a noise was heard. They both tensed, whipping around to find—
"Izuna?" Tenten stared at the baby that had rolled out of his futon, somehow managing not to wake up Itachi and Izumi, both of whom he had been sandwiched inbetween. "He's moving already?" True, the baby wasn't crawling or doing any amazing toddler feats, but the fact that he could manoeuvre himself at three weeks was pretty impressive. He didn't get far, only managing two flips on the floor before squirming in discomfort. Almost frantically, she rushed over as silently as she could and picked up the child before it could begin to squall. Izuna was generally a pretty quiet baby, but he was still a baby. Which meant he could cry like hell.
"Um." Shikamaru sidled up to her, a bead of sweat trailing down his cheek as he peered down at the little bundle in Tenten's arms. "Should we put him back?"
"No, no, not yet. I don't want to wake them after they just fell asleep. They both fought today, and they're really tired."
Shikamaru was skeptical. "How is time going to make any difference? In the end, they're both trained masters of the Amaterasu. You'll just delay them waking up."
"Funny how a baby could sneak past them." Tenten's lips tugged upward in a smile. "Trust me, Shikamaru-san—"
"Just Shikamaru. 'Shikamaru-san' is what the teachers called me whenever I got a failing grade back at the academy."
"They're really tired, Shikamaru."
Izuna was tired, but not quite tired enough to fall asleep right away. He was a hair-grabber for sure, but Tenten's bangs were too short for him to grasp. Annoyed, Izuna tried to stretch his arm even further.
"Cute," Shikamaru mumbled woodenly. "Are all babies like this, or is it just the Uchiha ones? But to answer your question..." He looked heavenward, up at the stars. "It was something that Choji said, spur of the moment. He has the tendency to bottle everything up and spill it all in a few short words of an outburst. It's stupid how such a thing had such a huge effect on me..." Sighing deeply, he pinched his nose, and Izuna stopped fussing with Tenten's hair to pay attention to him.
"Oh. Don't worry about it. I... I kind of know where you're coming from. Chihiro said something that I can't get out of my head. She said she'd love me even if I were a monster. Is... no, that's how Hinata feels, right?"
"Probably. It's really troublesome, isn't it?"
"Definitely. I mean, on one hand, my head is telling me to just stab him in the heart and be over with it. On the other, my heart says that I should give him a chance."
"I would say that this isn't the right place to use your heart," Shikamaru said, "But to not use it... Somehow, I think that would be even worse."
Tenten silently agreed, rocking Izuna in her arms. "Okay, you were right before. We should put him back."
"Yes, you should." Sasuke's voice reached their ears as he marched up to them. How long had he been listening? "Thank you for looking after him."
"Ah... It's no big deal..." Tenten handed the child back to his uncle with slight discomfort. Beside her, Shikamaru's pupils had narrowed slightly.
They watched as Sasuke tucked Izuna back between his two tired parents with surprising tenderness. His default scowl was no longer there, and it was as clear as day that he felt a strong love for the baby.
"I wonder what Sasuke thinks," Shikamaru hummed as Itachi stirred, murmuring something to Sasuke. "Before Neji came along, and Sasori got turned, he was the pariah."
"... Yeah." Tenten's voice was barely above a whisper. "He was, wasn't he?" Sasuke, traitor to his family and country.
But what kind of traitor could love so intensely?
As soon as Sasori awoke, he was greeted by the sight of the moon floating high above the sky. Panting slightly and his forehead slicked with sweat, he glanced around, trying to pinpoint his location. Surrounding him were the sleeping bodies of Sakura, Shizune, and Chiyo.
They hadn't killed him.
Why?
Numbly, he looked down at his new arm. It was a hard gray-white, ropey substance, and the area where his normal skin and the new limb met felt sticky and wet. Shoulders shaking lightly, he clenched and unclenched his right fist. Then he let his chakra flow into it. The arm ached and contracted before begrudgingly accepting the flow.
So, what was he now? Human? Monster? Halfway inbetween? Sasori held up his new hand to the moon, the light producing a silvery sheen on the murky white skin. It looked almost like clay, he realized a jolt, and he quickly scouted out Deidara's chakra signal.
Sasori's breath loosened. She was asleep and well, beside Rin. As far as he could tell, everyone was asleep at this time of night. Even Anko and Kakashi were swaying on their feet, and he knew that they would be preparing to swap soon.
They split before they did though, Anko deciding that she needed to take a piss in the bushes while Kakashi seemed like he was going to keel over from boredom and exhaustion at any moment.
Like a ghost in the night, Sasori shot silently out of his bed and went down the hillside, until he stood at the border of a meadow of long grass. The part where the dirt and stones turned into grass appeared to have been sat upon recently. He needed his. He needed to feel the wind on his face, to feel alive again. The futon he'd woken up in had been too constricting. Perhaps it was a trick of the mind, but that did not matter.
I've never seen the moon up this close before. Sasori admired the ethereal body, even if its crescent form was what the enemy's flag bore. Such an eternal, everlasting thing, it was. It occurred to him that he'd never fashioned a puppet after the moon before, or any of the planets, even in his days back in Suna.
A phantom pain panged in his arm, and for a moment, it felt like there was nothing beyond the several cubic centimetres from his shoulder down. The arm he now sported felt weightless and hollow, and it threw his whole balance off.
Still, a new limb was better than no limb at all, wasn't it? Especially since he often made use of his hands in almost everything he did. Whether it be working on his art, practicing taijutsu, or just doing every day things—he was not ashamed to admit that his rather active lifestyle relied heavily on the use of one or both hands.
A breeze swept through the field, sweeping Sasori's hair from his face and cooling his skin. His Akatsuki cloak was back at camp, so he was only dressed in a long-sleeved shirt with its sleeves rolled up and pants from Suna.
He was set on enjoying the night while it lasted when a blip on his chakra radar appeared.
It was an eerily familiar blip, even if it seemed much more docile than before.
Neji hardly got within five feet of him before he turned around, the fingers on his new arm twitching as he tried to form chakra neko-tes around the digits to match his left hand. It put up some resistance, as if it were still getting used to his chakra, but it obeyed in the end.
"You're the Byakugan Monster." It was a statement, not a question. And he wasn't nothing more than a brat, perhaps even younger than Deidara. But while he appeared young and almost like a fine lady, Sasori knew first-hand just how dangerous he could be. "Did you come to finish me off?"
He hadn't noticed Neji anywhere. The man was good at suppressing his chakra, indicating exceptional chakra control. It was practically coded for in his Hyuuga genes.
"Is that what your group called me?" Neji said, frowning slightly in contemplation.
A sneer pulled Sasori's lips back. "Why? Does it upset you, brat? To know that we don't speak of you as highly as your fellow monsters do?" What was he, anyway? What had happened while he was out? He'd been a full-on monster, but now he looked more human than Sasori. Did Sakura have something to do with that?
Had they accepted the Hyuuga into the group?
If that were the case, Sasori would bet his entire fortune of blood money in the Suna Emperor's vault that Hyuuga Hinata had something to do with it.
Neji stepped forward. At the same time, Sasori stepped back.
"Are you afraid of me?" Neji questioned.
"Any sensible, sane man would fear you." Sasori subtracted his step, now closer to the Hyuuga. His pupils dilated as he smiled mirthlessly. "However, I am neither of those things right now."
Neji's white eyes flicked to Sasori's Zetsu arm. "Are you a man? Or a monster?"
Sasori dipped his chin, his expression darkening. "What's the difference? Should you really be asking these questions, Hyuuga? After all..." They were almost nose to nose now. "You're the one who made me like this."
Neji narrowed his eyes. "You—" The Hyuuga managed to put up his arm at the last second and grasp Sasori's wrist. Even so, his chakra claws had caused a major gash to open up on his forearm, and Neji hissed.
"What? Do you have something to say to me, you worthless sack of shit?" Sasori broke his grip, slashing at his face. Neji managed to evade at the last second, hopping backwards with a grimace on his lips. "Why did you even come here?"
"Listen!" Neji snapped. "They can't afford you to run off, so I went. Hatake-san will be here soon, undoubtedly, so—"
"You thought I was running away?" Sasori chuckled darkly, raising his hand so that Neji's blood trickled down his Zetsu arm with agonizing slowness. "You are sorely mistaken, you insolent brat. But now that you're here, why don't I save them the trouble and kill you myself? Maybe I'll even take your arm." Neji got into a defensive stance, and Sasori's expression soured. "Why don't you fight as your true self? Stop hiding under than worthless skin, you worm!"
In the night, the two men exchanged blows, Sasori forcing Neji to defend at rapid speeds. Without his monster reflexes, it was harder for him to keep up, but he still managed.
"What do you want me to say?!" Neji gritted his teeth when Sasori sliced his shoulder open. "That I'm sorry?! I have my regrets, and I know not many things of my time as a Zetsu. But I have a feeling that an apology's not going to work on you."
Such contempt, he spoke his name with. Sasori was unimpressed. Was his maker really that weak? He was so fragile, so human. Sasori could kill him any second from now, and he'd be powerless to stop it.
"How pathetic. To think that someone like you could have done this to me…" Sasori looked down at his arm, allowing Neji a small breather. The Hyuuga was bleeding from multiple cuts and lacerations all over his arms and legs. "Somehow… I feel as if a redemption is in order. Unfortunately for you, it is not yours."
Before Neji could retort, they were joined by a silver-haired man with a single eye.
"So," Kakashi said, "I guess this is Suna's Royal Assassin talking."
"Hatake," Sasori mocked. "Truly, why are you here? Do you really think you can defeat two monsters on your own? Your arrogance is astounding."
"Two monsters? No. But if two humans work together, they can take down a monster." Kakashi glanced warily at Neji, who gave him a disarmingly sincere nod.
A rage he had locked away a long time ago came flooding out, and his morbidly amused features twisted into pure hatred. "You look just like your old man. Always blindly sicking your nose into where it doesn't belong. Honestly, Kakashi, when will you ever learn?" He was going to carve his insignia's into Hatake's face—make sure that he would dishonor his father's memory by bearing the mark of the fiend who had driven him to suicide. And that cowardly Sakumo, taking himself out before Sasori could do the job himself. It infuriated him to no end. Kakashi would pay for the sins of his father, and he would only have Sakumo to blame for his death. "You think that I'm the only monster that walks among you? You have men who would abandon mothers to save themselves," Hitoshi's broad face flashed in his mind, "men who have betrayed everything they stood for," Sasuke's coal gaze stared back in his inner eye, "and beasts who disguise themselves in the skins of your comrades' family to gain favor." Neji recoiled when Sasori turned his condemning stare on him. "The rest all liars, murderers, and thieves. I'm not the only monster. Humans can't kill monsters, Hatake, only other monsters can."
A coldness slid over his gaze, and Sasori watched with wicked glee as Kakashi tossed his humanity aside, ready to put the red-haired man down. Sasori flicked blood from his claw tips. "I suppose this is now a family feud. Hyuuga, you might want to stay out of this."
Neji stared at him silence.
"What, no monologue?" Kakashi quipped when Sasori kept the quiet. He rushed forward, suddenly palming two blades he had kept hidden somewhere on his person. He slashed with frightening brutality and the puppet master, who deflected his blows with his chakra claws. The one on his right hand flickered, almost dissipating, and Sasori frowned in displeasure.
A leg obscured Sasori's vision for a moment, and he bent himself backward to avoid Neji's kick coming in from the side, twisting his body and carefully glancing off Kakashi's twin blades, metal screeching.
As the battle went on, there was a growing pressure in his Zetsu hand, Sasori noticed. It felt like it was going to explode at any minute. Then something did happen, and Sasori could only glimpse Kakashi's eye widening in shock before his arm disassembled and burst forth. It was an action he had seen performed multiple times by multiple monsters, and—
Under the moonlight, two bodies dangled in the air, completely immobilized. Blood dripped into the grass, trailing down stalks like morning dew.
Kakashi clawed at the white, unbreakable vine wrapped around his neck, slowly squeezing. His blades were in the grass, totally unreachable. "Krrhh—!"
Neji was quite possibly in an even worse position, thinner vines digging through parts of his body and out the other side, keeping him suspended in the blood-misted air.
Something inside him folded and snapped, and Sasori jolted, stepping backward. The vines moved along with him, and Kakashi tried to grab his blades off the floor, but to no avail.
Monster. That's what I am now, isn't it? He glanced down at his arm. It's a part of me. It always had been, but he never thought he would live to see that day it became a physical manifestation.
All those people he had killed, all those men, women, and children—their souls squirmed desperately in his new, boneless arm.
In that instance, he figured that eternal life, if he were ever able to obtain it, would be more of a curse than a blessing.
"You're burning. You're on fire but you don't even know it."
"When you feel like you're in so deep, it feels easier to just swim down and drown, no? I have a feeling you're familiar with what I'm saying."
It was like that day in the bridge again, when he'd felt like he was weightless and submerged in the blackest ocean as he fell, Deidara's hand coming loose from his grip and the wind sucking the remaining warmth away.
Fire. Water. You hardly see either of those in the desert. Nobody ever burns, or drowns, or suffocates in smoke or water.
The visible part of Kakashi's face was growing blue, but Sasori hardly registered it. He only saw the looming shadow of the White Fang, and Neji had somehow changed into his beautiful, brown-haired mother, hair falling in front of her face as she became a bloody, unrecognizable mess pinned on the geometric-patterned wall of his bedroom chambers.
Family feud? What family feud? If you want to have a family feud, make sure that the wronged are still alive.
But everybody was dead.
Kakashi gasped for air, and Neji coughed up a gob of blood as the vines released them, sliding painfully out of the latter's body. Kakashi's entire neck area was bruised purple underneath his shirt-mask, and Neji's clothes, lent to him by Itachi, were soaked through with his own fluids.
His mother faded away. So did the White Fang. Only Kakashi and Neji were left. Sasori no Akasuna disappeared, too, this time for the rest of eternity.
Kakashi picked up his blades, but Neji weakly held an arm out in front of him. "Wait." But he could say no more, promptly falling to the ground in a bleeding, unconscious heap.
Warily, Kakashi got off his knees and stalked forward, watching Sasori's white arm reassemble itself until it resembled a limb again. "Do you know who I am?"
"Yes."
"I am not him."
"Hmph. I know that."
"Are you a monster?"
"... Yes."
"Do you want to be?"
There were very few people alive that he cared about enough to embrace his remaining humanity. Chiyo-baa-sama. Friend, comrade, and stoic Itachi. Rin, who was the wife of a man he had come to see as a friend, and, perhaps, her children. Who else? They only made up one hand. He could learn to love Izumi and Izuna. It would not be difficult. And...
Deidara makes two. She was someone he cared for, like Chiyo-baa-sama, and Friend Itachi, and Wife and Children of Obito. He loved none of them—how could he, when he had never really known Obito's family, when Itachi spent as much of his time as he could with his family, because the Uchiha man knew that they might not have enough time; how could he, when Chiyo-baa-sama had taught him how to kill men in a thousand different ways without even batting an eyelash.
But Deidara—
Was someone he had come to respect, not unlike Chiyo-baa-sama, and Itachi, and Rin, as well as love and appreciate, even if their perspectives on art clashed; even if she could be loud, hard, and unforgiving, she knew how to be kind, loyal, and expressed a whole spectrum of human emotions and actions that had been slashed out of him during his time in the Puppet Corps—she spoke to him with little thought, both disparaged and admired him for his art, and he realized, he had learned—
"Do you want to be?" Kakashi repeated.
"No."
He had learned to love her.
Kakashi didn't drop his weapons. "Do I have to kill you?"
"You couldn't kill me even if you tried." There was a gleam in the moonlight, and Kakashi blinked when Sasori pulled out a hidden blade from his still-intact left sleeve.
He turned it on his heart.
Kakashi stilled.
Only monsters can kill monsters. He loved her, but it wasn't enough. Deidara was more human that he would ever be. They'd never addressed it between them—he had never told her about his true nature, but they both knew that deep down, he would never be able to emulate the same humanity she did. "Kakashi-san. You are not your father."
The masked man stepped forward.
"You are human."
He was, too, Kakashi wanted to say as a light rain started—one that would disappear soon—but Sasori would never believe a word of it. "Wait—"
The dagger plunged down—
The air around Kakashi whipped past him as somebody moved—
Sasori didn't move when a blonde blur punched him in the face, flying backward with his back skidding into the dirt. Then a fist grabbed his shirt and held him down, and Deidara stared down at him, exhaling sharply.
"What the fuck," she breathed, "are you doing? Are you even hearing yourself, hm?!" She slammed her forehead into his, as if the pain would shock him out of his stupor. The blade he had held before had clattered somewhere, lost in the long grass. "What a load of bullshit!"
Sasori gazed back at her in disbelief, the pain in his head becoming nothing more than a negligible ache. The rain was plastering her hair to her face, and her chest rose and fell visibly as she glared at him with a ferocity he had only witnessed her displaying toward her enemies. "Deidara—"
"You're not a monster, you damn bastard!" Her head dropped, and he wondered briefly if she was going to headbutt him again. But she merely touched her forehead to his, looking him straight in the eye. Water slid down her nose and dropped on his own as the rain continued to pour. Some distance away, Kakashi was tending to Neji, but Sasori couldn't see him.
All of a sudden, the only world he was capable of seeing was Deidara's will burning desperately in her blue eyes. Mechanically, he reached up, pushing her hair away from her face.
"What kind of monster," she said slowly, her voice wavering ever so slightly, "is anything like you, hm? Monsters don't appreciate art." The next droplet of water that fell on his face was warm, and upon touching his lips, was salty.
I made her cry, he thought numbly. She had already lost Shisui today, Obito before that, and her barely audible sobs were tinged with a hopeless grief. She did not want to have to mourn him, too. A chill enveloped his entire body, and it wasn't just from the cold, compact dirt underneath him, or the equally cold rain. Gradually, fragments of humanity realigned themselves within him, and he closed his eyes, a ghost of a smile on his face.
"Sorry—Deidara."
He allowed her to cry in silent frustration and relief without saying another word, because it was an imperfect, human thing to cry.
To the side, Kakashi continued to stem Neji's bleeding as best he could.
The grass rustled.
And that was the sight that Anko, Itachi, and Gai arrived to.
Back at camp, Sasuke sat next to an exhausted Izumi, holding a sleeping Izuna.
His ears pricked at the sound of someone kicking back their futon.
Hesitantly, Asagi approached him. "May I hold him?"
Eyes watched them from all sides, expecting him to snap at her, and prepared to denounce him as an unrepentant traitor.
But, instead, he held out the child to her, much to her surprise. "Of course."
Asagi smiled. "Thank you... Sasuke-san."
There was a shocked silence around him.
Then Chihiro moved, and with her, a bridge slowly formed over the ravine. "Can I hold him next?"
A/N: KINGDOM OF ASH WAS RELEASED ON THE 23RD OF OCTOBER AND I CANNOT WAIT TO START READING IT. I HAVE MY COPY SITTING ON MY BED JUST WAITING FOR ME TO THUMB THROUGH IT AND RE-READ UNTIL IT BECOMES DOG-EARED FROM USE.