CHAPTER 4

It was late, past midnight, by the time Newt left last night. We just sat there with each other quietly. After what must have been a few hours, Newt had stood up and told me to get some rest. Even after he left I couldn't stop thinking about him. He's just so kind and easy to talk to. Something about him…

I woke up this morning in a pool of my own sweat. I had another dream last night, but this one wasn't about me or anyone in particular. I saw flashes of the desert I had seen in my dream about Thomas. The golden sand seemed to sway in the sunlight.

I do what Newt told me to do yesterday. Take deep breaths. It's okay. Deep breaths.

After pulling myself together I stand up, smooth my hair, and get dressed in heavy brown pants and a loose gray shirt. The shirt looks permanently stained. I can tell it was made to fit a boy. That makes sense, since they've never had a girl before. I laugh. What will being around a bunch of teenage guys do to me?

As soon as I finish getting dressed a head peeks through my ladder hole.

'Morning, sunshine!' Newt grins, climbing onto the floor.

I laugh. 'We gotta figure out a better system here. I just put a shirt on!'

'Ooh, I was so close!' Newt jokes.

I roll my eyes. 'From now on you gotta knock before you come in, okay?'

Newt holds his hands up in surrender. 'Okay, okay. I'll knock. In fact, why don't I bring a bell over later? We can put it on the bottom of the ladder.'

'Like a doorbell?' I say. Instantly I regret it. A flood of emotions crashes down on me. I know what a doorbell is. But why? Where did I see one? Where did I use one?

Newt notices my sudden change in emotion. 'We can call it something else… how about a Ringer?'

I smile. 'A Ringer,' I repeat. 'Sounds perfect.'

'Let's go get some food.' Newt puts his hand on my back and gently pushes me to the ladder. I climb down and he follows.

We walk across the Glade to the Kitchens, a well constructed building in what Newt called 'The Homestead'. A line of Gladers is already there, but Newt pushes through.

'Excuse us, excuse us,' he says. 'Haven't you animals ever heard of Ladies First?'

I blush a little when the guys all smile shyly at me and step aside. I turn to Newt and say quietly, 'I can wait in line, just like anyone else.'

He chuckles, 'Oh, I know, but I'm using this as an excuse to get myself all the way to the front.'

I playfully hit his arm, causing a few of the nearby Gladers to say, "Oooh Newt's got a girlfriend.'

Instead of blushing, Newt puts his arm around my waist. He looks at the other Gladers, shrugs his shoulders, and then turns to get food from Frypan. I also turn, my face red. 'Um, Newt?' I look up at him. 'What was that about?'

He looks at me and laughs, no doubt because my face is as red as a tomato. 'If they think we're together they'll leave you alone.'

'But it's only my third day here. You think they'll believe it?'

'We'll see,' he says with a smile. He kisses my forehead, causing an eruption of cheers from the guys. Yup, they definitely believe it. I look to the left and see Thomas. He's the only Glader not cheering or making fun of me and Newt. He doesn't look upset, just confused. He shakes his head and walks off. I pull away from Newt and tell him I'm not hungry. Then I go after Thomas.

'Hey,' I say once I catch up to him. 'You're Thomas, right?'

He nods. 'Yeah, you're Grace?'

'Yeah,' I say. I try to make conversation. 'Newt says that you came just a month before me. Are you used to this place yet?'

'Nope,' he says. 'It doesn't get easy. You start to mind it less, but I wouldn't say I've come to terms with living stuck between giant stone Walls. That's why I like being a Runner, I guess. Gives me the chance to do something.'

'How'd you become a Runner?' I ask, remembering what Newt said. Runners are the strongest, fastest, and smartest Gladers. If Thomas has only been here one month, how is he already in such a prestigious job?

Thomas laughs dryly. 'Well, it was kinda an accident. One night, it was my second day here, and Minho came running back, just like I did, saying he found a dead Griever. So Alby and him went running out to find it. Only it turns out that one wasn't really dead. It Stung Alby. Minho had to carry him back to the Glade, but they didn't make it in time. The Walls started closing, and we could see them, just down that first section of the Maze. I ran in, tried to get them back. But the Walls shut before we could drag Alby back.' Thomas pauses, shuddering. It's like the memory chills him. 'No one survives a night in the Maze. But we did. I guess they decided that was enough to make me a Runner.'

I stare at him for a while. His story sounds like something to be proud of, but the way he tells it makes it seem like a lucky mistake. Something in his eyes tells me he thinks he should have died.

'I was a shuck fool, that's for sure. No one survives. I shouldn't have. I'm a Runner now, but I don't deserve it.'

All of a sudden I feel the emotions I felt in my dream about Thomas. I feel… at home, like I belong. I feel compassion for Thomas. 'Hey.' I touch his hand. 'You deserve to be a Runner. I can tell you're hard working, and smart, and brave. Who else would risk his life for someone he barely knew?'

'Grace…' Thomas takes a deep breath. 'Can I ask you something?'

'Yeah,' I say, suddenly nervous.

'Do you…' He looks directly into my eyes. 'Do you remember anything? Anything at all?'

I hesitate. Should I tell him the truth? I don't know why, but after a moment I decide to tell him some, but not all, of the truth. 'Yeah. I vaguely remember a few things. I remember you, and I remember a lot of white rooms. And… um, that's really it.' I'm afraid to tell him more.

'I remember you, too. I remember… a desert. And being with you.' He looks away. 'I was… surprised when I saw you with Newt just now. All of a sudden I remembered… it just came flooding back to me. I remembered…' He hesitates, still not meeting my eyes.

'So… what now?' I ask.

'I don't know,' he says. 'Newt seems to be all over you now, and I remember us, but I don't remember us, you know?'

I nod. I know what he means. I had that dream, and I remember that we were close, but I don't remember everything. And we are different people now, I think. He's been in the Glade for a month. I can tell he's different than he was. He looks to be about 16, but he has had to mature a lot over the past month. Any relationship we once had would not be the same now. Besides, Newt is amazing. He says he's just acting to make sure the other guys don't bother me, but I don't know if that is true.

Thomas looks at me, and I can tell he knows what I'm thinking. 'I'll see you around, Grace.' He hugs me and before I know it, I'm standing alone. I hear footsteps behind me. Newt.

'You okay, Grace?' Newt touches my arm, looking concerned.

'I'm okay,' I force a small smile, still thinking about Thomas.

'C'mon, let's get some breakfast. Then we can get you started with the Medjacks.'