Devious Evans
I sat in McGonagall's Transfiguration lesson the next morning, not really taking in a word the teacher was saying.
All that kept turning over in my head was the Marauders nasty little stunt with the two mirrors. It made me cringe even now to think that Sirius 'smirking' Black had seen me in nothing more than my underwear.
But he was going to pay. I would make sure of that.
When I'd been at Hogwarts the last time, I'd always seen Lily as ever so slightly judgmental and, dare I say, stuck up, but the more I got to know her the more I realised she most certainly did have a rebellious side; she was just clever about keeping it under lock and key for a majority of the time.
And the way she was helping me to get them back for what they did now only furthered my good opinion.
"Get into pairs," McGonagall called curtly and Lily obediently came to sit with me, swapping seats with a blonde boy the teacher had put next to me in a seating plan.
I was glad to be rid of him. Jonathan Walker prided himself on being the class clown and thought it was highly hilarious to sabotage almost every task we were set..
Watching the Marauders divide themselves into two teams across the room, I managed to catch Black's eye for what felt like the fiftieth time already that lesson. This time with Lily being fortunately at my side I was able to make a show of leaning over to her conspiratorially and muttering in her ear, just as we had planned.
When she looked back at Black and let out a visible giggle, his face was a absolute picture.
I couldn't stop myself from laughing.
Because I had more than a strong feeling Black had been the instigator of the mirror incident, we were to embark on a torrent of whispers, pointing and giggling all aimed squarely in his direction. And aiming it solely at Black meant he would have no one to turn to about how strangely we were acting. He would look like a madman. At least, that was the plan.
It was brilliant really, mininum effort for maximum impact. And so far it actually seemed to be working.
Black narrowed his eyes at us before nudging an otherwise occupied Potter.
After murmuring something, he pointed us out, but the second James looked in our direction we pretended to be innocently practising the Transfiguring spell as if nothing had happened.
I glanced up again in time to see James shooting his friend a strange look, before continuing with his work, and Lily and I cracked up into quiet laughter.
As soon as we spotted McGonagall circuiting the classroom, we tried to focus back on the work we were supposed to be doing.
Jogging to the front, I quickly picked a random object from the box on the desk; the idea being to transfigure your preferred item into a pure white dove.
After I had set the inanimate alarm clock I had chosen onto the table in front of us, Lily pointed her wand at it, uttering the spell.
Sure enough we watched as the clock morphed into a very pretty white dove. It blinked its shiny black button eyes at us and cooed softly.
When Lily gestured at it again, it returned obediently into a clock.
Just as I had extricated my own wand ready to follow in Lily's lead, a loud attention seeking cough distracted my hand.
"What do you want, Black?" I heard Lily demand.
Hardly daring to look, I peered slowly up into the face of Sirius Black.
When he caught my eye he flicked his eyebrows upwards, and I responded with a cut of my eyes.
"So," he tried to sound casual, "just what were you two lovely ladies finding so thoroughly amusing a minute ago. It almost looked as though you were whispering about me..." he let his sentence trail off.
He looked from Lily to myself and I couldn't resist a smirk.
"Oh, nothing..." Lily replied, the humour evident in her voice.
"Hmm," Black sounded with a knowing smile.
"You know, if you want me all this badly Morland, you might as well just come right out and say it," he said, letting his eyes trail down over the front of my shirt. "We could find out if you're as naughty as I really hope you are."
When he twitched his eye in a wink at me, Lily shot me a look of mutual disgust at what he'd said.
I gave him an unimpressed look in response. "Pervert," I stated, trying not to let him get to me.
Black barked out a laugh. "I'm not the one who's been wearing sexy red underwear, walking around the school pretending to be Little Miss Innocent," he shot back.
Lily looked at him strangely, "Well I should hope not, Sirius."
It was our turn to laugh this time, and Black sent her a humourless smile.
"Anyway, don't let me interrupt your first-class magical prowess, Morland," he said, gesturing to the alarm clock.
"Shouldn't you be over there practising your own spell?" I demanded.
He scoffed arrogantly. "I could perform that spell in my sleep."
I peered desperately around the room in search of McGonagall, knowing from past experience she did not appreciate students wandering around her classroom when she had set them work to do, but she was frustratingly no where to be seen.
Trying to give the impression I wasn't rattled by Black's presence I flourished my wand, "Transfigaro Contartum."
Both his and Lily's eyes were fixed on the clock as it shook itself into a new form, twisting this way and that until it let out a loud, "Sqwark!"
Black's barking laughter boomed through the air as a large fat chicken emerged from my spell, prancing proudly around the desk.
He slapped me hard on the back.
"Close!" he said. "I can see how you would confuse a dove and a chicken with an eating problem."
My overweight chicken started to peck at Lily's textbook, which lay innocently next to it, flinging it up into the air with his beak before letting it fall lamely to the floor.
At this, Black let out a new round of laughter and doubled over.
Even through my immense embarrassment I had to admit it was sort of funny, though I inwardly cursed him for making me nervous enough to make a mess of my spell. The entire class now looked on as it flew into Black's arms and he held it high above his head, brandishing it to the room.
"I give you Cheryl Morland's pure white dove," he called loudly.
A peal of laughter erupted in response.
That I did not find quite so funny. Stupid Black.
Without missing a beat, I noticed Lily pointing her wand discreetly at his back, muttering something.
A shock of laughter burst from my mouth as I watched a great stream of creamy white poo come flowing from the chicken backside right onto his perfect head of shiny hair, dripping satisfyingly down his forehead.
There was a small pause of shock, and then everyone around us started to join in.
"Oh my God," I breathed, unable to believe what had happened, and Lily grinned slyly at her own handiwork.
Letting out a cry of disgust, Sirius dropped the chicken to the floor in an instant, his expression livid.
Swinging one of his legs back, he readied himself to thrust his large boot into the poor bird's offending hole.
"What on earth is going on here?" McGonagall demanded from the doorway, having obviously overheard us all from all the way down the hallway.
With a quick flick of her wrist, Lily changed the flapping chicken back into a clock and, unable to halt his momentum, Black thrust his disobedient foot forward and kicked the silver piece of plastic and metal at full speed across the room.
It hit the blackboard with a loud clang and fell to the floor, ringing incessantly.
Everyone's eyes darted from one side of the room to the other as if watching a tennis match. From Black to the bird, back to Black, then the clock, and finally settling on McGonagall.
The Transfiguration professor seemed at a loss at what he had just dared to do in her presence. She stared wide eyed from the source of the noise to the poop coated offender in a state of shock.
I had to turn my head away to hide the grin that had spread across it. He was so in for it.
"To my office, Mr Black," she snapped eventually. "And if you know what's good for you, I suggest you make it quick...lest I become tempted to transfigure you into a clock, and have my wicked way with you across the classroom."
But to my surprise, Black was brave enough to share a look of amusement with Potter across the room.
"I would love for you to have your wicked way with me any day, Minerva," he told her with a grin.
McGonagall gave him a steely smile, ignoring the few brave titters from the ready audience.
"Oh believe you me, you really wouldn't want my foot thrust up your backside," she replied sharply. "I have developed a preference for pointed shoes."
Smirking in reply, Black proceeded to a bow before he made to leave.
"Don't forget to clean the chicken shit off your head, Siri dear!" Marlene called after him as he got to the door.
Luckily for her, it was at that point that McGonagall decided to feign deafness.
Waiting for the professor to turn away to her desk, Black responded with a rather rude hand gesture and then left the room.
I think it was safe to say, Black: 0, The girls:1
.oOo.
"What in Merlin's name is it doing?"
I followed Sally's eyeline up towards the ceiling of the great hall, pausing with my partially eaten toast halfway to my mouth.
"Oh God," I murmured, recognising my dense family owl, Henry.
Deciding breakfast was an appropriate time to show off his penchant for theatrics, I watched as he continued to perform an intricate gambol trick my uncle had made the mistake of teaching him a few months ago.
Using his momentum, he managed to flap himself round into a full circle and Sally started clapping in response.
"Don't encourage him," I muttered.
Spurred on by her applause, Henry finished with what he must've thought was a dramatic flourish by tossing my letter into the air and letting it sail down to me.
Unfortunately for me, it happened to land right in the punch bowl directly in front of me.
Orange liquid burst upwards like a geyser, splashing anyone lucky enough to be in the vicinity.
A cheer and sarcastic applause erupted from a few students seated at the Slytherin table.
As soon as Henry realised his mistake he gave one apologetic hoot before disappearing quickly from the same window he came in.
"Show off bird," I muttered mutinously.
Next to me I found Sally in hysterics.
"Oh Merlin," she breathed, wiping a few stray drips of pumpkin juice from her cheek with a napkin. "Your bird is hilarious!"
Using my forefinger and thumb in a pincer action I carefully retrieved my letter with a grimace and flopped it onto the table at the side of my plate. It was absolutely sodden.
Instead of tearing the envelope as one normally would I was forced to scoop the wet paper out of the way until the orange stained letter inside was visible.
The sight of it made Sally let out yet another short burst of a giggle, forcing her face to be serious when I shot her an unimpressed glower.
Opening the damp paper out as carefully as I could to avoid ripping it, I tried to discern the now blurred handwriting.
'Cheryl,
You've forgotten some of your school books, love. I found them half underneath your bed yesterday morning. You really should keep your room a bit tidier.
I won't be able to send them for a while yet. They're too heavy to post by owl and we're running fresh out of Floo Powder. I'm sure you can borrow what you need from the school library just for now. Hope you're having fun back at Hogwarts, it's strange not having you around!
Lots of love,
Mum'
"Great," I murmured.
"What is it?" Dorcas questioned, looking concerned.
"Nothing important," I assured. "I left some of my books at home. I need to go and borrow some out."
Quickly shovelling in a few more spoonfuls of my now pumpkin juice splattered cereal, I told my friends I'd meet them later and made my way begrudgingly to the library.
.o.
I was pleased to find the library looked almost exactly as I'd left it the previous year. Good old Madam Pince at her desk, still glaring menancingly at potential book offenders. And by potential book offenders, I mean anyone who dared to walk into the room.
Granted, she had a few more bulging veins at her temples than I remembered, but I supposed that was one of the downsides to being a highly strung human hawk.
Scanning the index on each of the shelves for the final time, I searched for the last book to add to my already teetering collection:
'Animagi: The Whys and Wherefores'.
It had been on the required list for Defence Against the Dark Arts.
I soon found out that I may as well have been searching for the Holy Grail however, and after ten minutes had passed I was starting to question its existence.
Finally I spotted what appeared to be the one solitary copy on the highest shelf of the last bookcase.
Eyeing up the height difference between myself and the shelf, I estimated it had to be at least six and a half feet up.
Stretching up onto my tiptoes, I sprawled my fingers skyward. I felt a strained noise escape my chest as I just about managed to touch the base of the spine.
My body wobbled and I collapsed back down, red faced and probably sweating, back to my feet with still no book in my hand.
"Nightmare," I muttered, glancing around for any step ladders.
Of course there were none. Students were expected to keep their wand with them at all times.
After spending a full year away from the magical world, carrying a wand around with me at all times still felt alien.
Making one last fruitless attempt to reach up, I made a decision to take my already massive pile of books back to my Dormitory and come back later, wand in tow.
Before I could put my plan into action, a small cough behind me attracted my attention. I swivelled around, surprised at not having heard anyone approach.
The grey eyed boy looked back at me, his expression entertained.
"Need some help?" he asked.
My breath caught in my throat. It was Sirius. I became suddenly very aware of how red and flustered I probably was from exertion.
"No thank you," I replied curtly. I wasn't that desperate.
But Black just nodded to the book he'd obviously had fun watching me struggle for. "Was it that one?"
Trying to pretend I hadn't heard him, I busied myself with collecting up the many heavy tomes to take back to my bedroom, entertaining the brief image of whacking him over the head with one of them and making a run for it.
"Accio Animagi book," he spoke confidently. After it shot into his hand, he held out to me and our eyes met for a split second.
I took it quickly from his grasp, not allowing him enough time to snatch it back.
Without another word I made to take myself and my toppling pile of books out of there. Except he wasn't going to let me get away that easily.
"I think the word you're looking for is 'thank you'," he called after me, annoyance now ladening his tone.
I looked back over my shoulder incredulously. After everything he had done to me over the years... he could fetch me a thousand books and it still wouldn't be enough.
Surrendering to my irritation, I tossed the book he had summoned for me back onto the table next to him.
"Put it back then if you're that bothered," I said, gratified by the look of surprise on his face. "I'll fetch it myself later."
But just as I turned back around to leave, there was a loud thud on the floor right behind me, whatever it was missing my head by a mere inch. I felt the breeze from it waft my hair.
Looking around at the cause, I saw the Animagi book now strewn haphazardly on the floor behind me.
When I peered back up, I realised Black had thrown it at me.
I didn't even get a chance to be anywhere near angry, however, because an eardrum piercing shriek sounded out around the room.
Unfortunately for him it seemed this time Madam Pince had seen everything too.
In an instant she was making a direct beeline for us, the vein in her head positively bulging.
"BLACK!" she screamed, ironically loudly considering she was always telling everyone else to be quiet. "What a disgusting way to treat a book! Have you no respect for things that are older than yourself?" Her eyes were practically popping out on stalks.
When Black looked like he was actually stopping to think about it, it only seemed to infuriate her further.
"Four weeks detention and ten points from Slytherin!" she exclaimed.
I furrowed my eyebrows, Sirius was in Gryffindor. Why was Pince taking points off our rival team as a punishment?
Turning back to the now scowling boy, his stance proud and his jaw jutting out stubbornly, the realisation suddenly hit me. I'd made a horrible mistake.
I studied Sirius's doppelganger.
The likeness was definitely uncanny, but the more I looked at him the more the slight differences were highlighted.
Sirius's brother was slightly thinner and paler for a start.
The memory of Sirius's disgust when his younger brother had been sorted into Slytherin flashed into my mind.
Personally I felt sorry for anyone who had to put up with Sirius as a housemate.
Leaving my books to pick up later, I hurried out of the library away from the firing line and waited just outside the double doors, unsure what I would say to him, but for some reason feeling the need to explain myself.
Finally Pince's rant ended and the other Black brother emerged looking incredibly annoyed.
When he spotted me leaning against the wall he scowled horribly. If looks could kill I would have been left slumped across the stone floor.
Turning away from me, he started off in the opposite direction, muttering mutinously to himself.
To my own surprise, I found myself hurrying to catch up with him.
With him still refusing to slow down, I made the mistake of tapping his back with my hand in a bid to attract his attention.
He stopped suddenly, brandishing his wand in the blink of an eye.
"What do you want, Gryffindor?" he demanded, his wand now pointed dangerously at my chest.
I held my hands up in surprise, "Hey, there's no need for that!"
The Black brother rolled his eyes and stashed his weapon.
"What do you want?" he repeated impatiently.
"I thought you were Sirius," I said apologetically, realising how unlikely it sounded.
"Back then, in the library," I tried to explain. "You look so much like your brother and, well, he and I don't get on. Well, that's an understatement to be honest, and-"
"I already know he doesn't like you," he cut in.
"I don't like him either," I replied defensively.
He gave a snort. "If you say so."
"Is that why you helped me?" I asked. "Because you knew I don't get along with your brother?"
He shrugged, "Something like that."
"Well," I said slowly, "that was all I wanted to say. That I didn't mean to get you into trouble."
"Noted," he said simply. "Now if you don't mind, I have better things to do with my day than to spend it listening to you."
He walked away and I watched him go, still in disbelief at how alike he and his brother actually were.
I went to walk away myself before remembering why I had come to the library in the first place.
When I went back in, Pince was still fuming near the entrance. She had just picked up the book that Regulus had thrown at me, placing it on a table while she turned around to tell a group of other students who still laughing about the scene to shush.
While her back was turned, I took the opportunity to snatch the book up and hurried to gather the rest, leaving the library as fast as my legs would carry me.
.o.
Later that night, Marlene leapt onto my bed from her own, bouncing me a foot into the air and forcing a girlish squeal from my mouth.
She guffawed and lounged next to me.
"I'm not going to lie, Mori," she said fixing me with her bright blue stare."The stunt you lot pulled against Black definitely has its high points, but there's just something missing."
She looked to the ceiling dramatically as if for inspiration.
"It just doesn't have that certain je ne sais quoi," she said in a bad French accent.
"What?" I replied with a snort.
She looked at me as if it were obvious.
"I mean...he humiliates you in front of the entire school, you humiliate him in front of the entire school. He sees us half naked, we see him-"
Sally's head shot up, an evil glint in her eye.
"Marlene you are halfway to becoming a genius," she said, already cooking up a plan.
Marlene grinned. "I have my moments," she admitted.
"Honestly, is it worth it?" I interrupted aloud. "They'll only think of something even worse to get us back."
Lily nodded. "Cheryl's right."
But Marlene looked at us as if we'd suggested naked dancing in the library.
"Of course it's worth it," she argued. "I thought you were all upset about their mirror trick, have you forgotten that?" she demanded.
I flickered my eyes. "No, of course not," I replied, but as much as I hated to admit it they were the natural born pranksters, not us.
Sally glanced over at me, "Sirius's birthday is coming up, Cheryl, and he's always going on about how great Potter's folks are. James's parents would be the perfect way of getting him to let his guard down. Any gift from them would be sure to go down well with him."
Lily and I shared a skeptical look.
"What exactly do you have planned?" Lily asked.
.o.
Strolling back into the bedroom after my evening shower, I noticed Sally had already gone to her own room for the night.
One glance around the room told me she had been replaced by our other roommate Mary McDonald.
Mary nomally did her best to avoid us, which was no small feat considering we shared a room; holding some kind of weird, unnecessary grudge against me for reasons unknown.
That was why it came as a bit of a shock when she held out a licorice wand to me as I walked past her bed.
"Want one?" she offered.
"No thanks," I replied, trying my best to smile.
There was something different about her. She looked...happy.
"How's it going?" I asked cautiously, eyeing her expression.
"Brilliant," she replied with a grin. "I just saw the guy I fancy for the first time in days."
Ah.
"Oh."
"Anthony Javerhops," she sighed, as if the mere mention of his name was enough to make her swoon.
A strange scraping noise on the door caught our attention and all our heads turned sharply. It sounded like someone's nails scratching down the hard wood. Like an animal of some sort.
It went quiet and Mary got up slowly, her face deadly serious now.
"It's half eleven," I stated, as though that should be reason enough not to open it.
Pushing her ginger hair against the door, she listened for a second.
The scratching noise started up again louder and more frantic this time, sharp nails carving into it, and Mary jumped back in fright.
"Don't answer," Dorcas said, her face twisted in fright.
But Mary's hand was already on the door knob.
Pulling it open a crack, her eyes widened at whatever it was she saw on the other side.