Heyo! Guess who's back WAY after she said she would be? I'm sorry for the insanely late update, but, I had an instance of losing my motivation for writing. The reason being because I already had this chapter written, but, I then looked over it and it was just... Not satisfying at all. And I think it was because I was trying to push out chapters super fast, and I set a deadline for myself and forced myself to write, which is never good if you want actual good writing, you know? Anyways, enough about that, I just want to tell you guys that the update schedule is going to be pretty random, but I'm going to try to start posting weekly, no promises though. Anyways, enough about me. Time to get back into the story~! Hope you enjoy chapter 4 of, "Deserving?" titled "Pain."
The two girls walked down the hallway in silence, the sound of their heels clicking echoed through the empty hallway. The walk to the bathroom from the clubroom wasn't long, a minute at most if you're walking at a slow pace. Monika looked at Sayori, and back to the ground. I can't believe I let my emotions get the best of me like that. I am such an emotional fool. She thought, wanting to slam her head into the nearest wall at least 12 times, perhaps that could fix her sorry excuse for a brain. Luckily, though, her brain thought of a way to save herself from embarrassment, coming up with a believable excuse for why she left the club in such a hurry. Sayori seemed to believe it, at least. Which, to be fair, wasn't the hardest thing ever.
They made it to the clubroom, where a concerned Yuri and an irritated Natsuki were. "What the hell was that all about Monika?" Natsuki barked, walking up to the much taller girl and lightly pushing her, "You can't just end the club half an hour before it's over! That is not fair!" She said and was about to push the flustered girl again before Sayori stepped in front of her.
"Natsuki, calm down," Sayori said, putting her arms out protectively, "She was sick, and felt like she was going to puke. Don't be so mean to her!" Sayori had a stern look on her face, making Natsuki step back, looking at the two girls in front of her.
"W-Whatever... Just don't cancel it like that again..." Natsuki muttered, Yuri coming up behind her and placing a hand on her shoulder. Natsuki quickly shoved her off, making Yuri bit her lip and step back, apologizing as Natsuki stomped over to the closet, huffing as she did so.
"What's wrong with her?" Sayori asked, looking back at Monika, who was looking away, her hands in her long hair.
"I never know..." She said, walking to Yuri who was shaken up by Natsuki's hostility towards her, "Go talk to her, okay? She is just upset, she isn't mad at you. I promise," Monika whispered to Yuri, who nodded, and shakily walked over to the angry pinkette.
Monika walked to the teachers desk and plopped down in the chair, wanting nothing more than to go home and curl into her blankets and hide forever. She felt a warm hand on her shoulder, and knew who it was instantly, "Thank you for standing up for me Sayori..." Monika mumbled, burying her face farther into her arms. "Sorry I started this mess though..."
"It's not your fault, silly," She said and sat down on a stool, wrapping her arms around her, laying her head on her back, "You know how Natsuki can get, she is just being a butt right now. And you got sick, that's not your choice," She hummed, nuzzling Monika's back.
Monika wasn't sick before, but after hearing Sayori defend her lie, she felt sick to her stomach. She really wanted to go home... "Thanks Yo-Yo, you always have something to say that makes me feel better," She lied, biting her lip and lightly shaking her shoulders, a sign for Sayori to get off so she could sit up. Sayori obliged and let go, letting Monika sit up and crack her back.
She looked at the time and cringed, "Damn... Only 5 minutes left? I guess we are going to have to have our meeting concerning the festival tomorrow," She sighed and looked up at the ceiling. She felt a poke at her side, and looked down at a sheepish Sayori.
"You're looking at the ceiling again... Are you alright?" She asked, biting her lip. Sayori was clearly worried about Monika, her entire face showing it. Monika sighed, turning towards Sayori, putting a hand on her shoulder.
"I'm okay, I promise. I just need to lay down, my head is killing me," She said and cracked her back, which along with her head hurt like hell. She cleared her throat and turned to the two girls in the back of the class, "Hey guys, it's time to go for reals now. Okay?" She said, Yuri nodding at Monika while Natsuki remained seated on the ground, her head in her legs.
Yuri looked to Monika and mouthed, "I'll take care of her" which received a nod from Monika. She picked up her bag and looked to Sayori, "C'mon, lets get out of here." She said, Sayori nodding and grabbing her much smaller bag, slinging it over her shoulder and walking out of the classroom with Monika.
As the two walked out of the school, Sayori looked over to Monika, "I really wonder why Natsuki got so bent out of shape... So what if you cancelled the club so soon?" She asked, looking forward with a puzzled look.
Monika shook her head, "I have my suspicions, but I think it's best to keep such theories to myself, if incorrect I would look like a bastard," She rubbed the back of her head, wincing at her pounding headache. "Gods my head feels like it's being smashed by a bloody damn hammer," She groaned as they exited the school into the violently bright outside.
"I uh... Guess this is where we part ways, huh?" Sayori said, laughing sheepishly and looking down. She held her hands in her lap, clasped together, biting on her lip, as if she wanted to say something but couldn't muster up the courage to do so.
"Well, I'll see you tomorrow, won't I? We'll eat lunch together and everything!" Monika replied in a cheery tone, despite her entire mind and body being a living hell at the moment, and proceeded to ruffle up the smaller girls hair.
"Y-Yeah!" Sayori exclaimed in response, putting her fist up and smirking. "I'll see you tomorrow, then!" She said and skipped off towards her home. Monika sighed, watching the girl skip away, as happy as she could be. She wished she could have that energy, instead she felt like every fiber of her being was made of pure steel, she just fell so heavy all the time.
She turned and made her way home, slowly walking under the burning hot sun. Why did it feel so warm...? She checked her phone, "It's 14? What the hell..." (sidenote: am using Celsius) She scratched her head, breathing in deeply, "It must be this damn blazer..." She said and shook her head, finishing the agonizing walk home and opening the door to her home, tossing her bag against the wall and ignoring the note from her parents, which probably listed every way she was a piece of shit, and walked up to her room, opening the door and slamming it behind her. She didn't bother to undress, she just went straight to her bed and jumped into it, burying her face in her pillow.
She turned and faced her ceiling, staring into the black abyss. "Why am I the way I am...? Why can't I do anything right..." She pulled the blankets over her shoulders and curled up into a little ball, now shivering despite being under blankets and fully clothed.
After tossing around for what felt like forever, she ended up passing out.
A few hours later, she woke up to her phone ringing, she groaned and sat up, fishing in her pocket for the loud phone, she squinted at the bright screen, trying to figure out who was calling her. "Natsuki...?" She cocked her head to the side, confused as to why the hot headed pinkette was calling her. She pressed answer and used her best I've been awake for hours voice. "Nnnn... H-He-" She yawned and groaned, "Hello...?"
"Monika? Did you just wake up or something...? Uh... Never mind that I er... Wanted to apologize... For shoving you..." She struggled saying, clearly not used to apologizing. "I didn't... I wasn't thinking and I'm sorry."
Monika, taken aback from Natsuki's rare apology, nodded, despite not being able to see her, "It's fine, Natsuki. I understand you were upset with me. But," She said, sounding more like herself and less like an incoherent Zombie, "I would like to know the context as to why you were so upset with me over something as objectively arbitrary as me cutting the club time by 30 minutes," She said, receiving silence from the other end.
"Besides that I don't know what half of those words mean... Don't worry about it, okay? It's not a big deal, and it won't happen again. Please, just refrain from ending the club earlier than it's supposed to... Please?" Natsuki asked in a hushed, pleading tone. Which made Monika feel even worse for what she had done.
"Of course, Natsuki. It won't happen again barring something drastic."
They exchanged goodbyes and Monika stood up, looking at her clock she saw it was about 6:30, "Damn... Okay, food first, then homework, then poem, than shower, then bed," She said and turned on her light before heading downstairs. She warmed up some broccoli and Parmesan soup she had made Monday, and took it up to her room. Eating in her room was a cardinal sin in her parents eyes. Guess if they want to enforce the rules they should be home once and awhile. She thought and rolled her eyes, sitting on her bed and putting the hot bowl on her nightstand, reaching down for her bag... Which she remembered was downstairs. She was about to go get it, both for her homework and so her parents didn't crucify her. But... Who cares? She sat back and grabbed the remote for the TV that hung in her room and turned on Netflix, flicking on a random anime she started watching awhile back and started eating her soup, just... Relaxing for once.
She watched Netflix for about an hour before she went downstairs, putting the bowl in the sink and skipping to the shower. She was about to turn the shower head on, but, before she did, she shrugged, "Why not," and she started filling the tub up, may as well use the built in Jacuzzi her parents spent all that money on. She undressed and hopped into the tub, laying back and relaxing in the bubbling, steaming hot water. She closed her eyes, breathing. "I don't know why I haven't done this sooner... I really needed this..." She said aloud, splashing the water on her face, dunking her head in and getting her hair wet.
All she needed was wine and unnaturally bright red fingernails and she would be a badass movie villain girl who thought she just beat the bad guy. She relished in the moment, and smiled.
After about half an hour, she got out of the tub and dressed in a robe, walking back up to her room and tossing her dirty clothes into the hamper and hopping onto her bed. She looked at her phone, which sat on her nightstand and shrugged, picking it up and flicking through her contacts. She found the person she was looking for and quickly pressed call.
After a few seconds of ringing, she heard a click which was followed by that ever so delightful high pitched voice, "Monika?"
"Hey Sayori!" She exclaimed, sitting up and smiling, "I was thinking about you, and well, I was feeling a bit lonely so I called you! I hope that is okay?" She said a little fast, just in an amazing mood.
"Oh! Well, of course it's okay! I just wasn't expecting it. No one ever calls me so I was... A little confused when I heard my phones ringtone," She laughed sheepishly. "So, what are you up to at this time of night? Doing homework?"
"Nah, I'm just chilling in bed relaxing. You?" Monika said nonchalantly, very much out of character for her.
"Uh..." Sayori said, sounding confused, "Who is the impostor doing a Monika impression? Because you aren't doing a very good job of it..."
"Don't be silly, Yo-Yo. I'm just... Trying to relax, you know? Today was stressful, I really needed something like this today," She laid on her side, her tone becoming a bit more serious, "I've had a bad day okay...? I really needed this..." She whispered softly, looking down.
After a few moments of silence, she heard a giggle, "I still love it when you call me Yo-Yo..." Sayori said, and Monika could almost see the girls beautiful smile through the phone, "I'm glad you're treating yourself! You need to every once and awhile, it's not healthy to let stuff pile on top of you and let them constantly weigh you down."
"That is so true," She sighed moved onto her back, "Oh, Natsuki called me by the way," She said and looked over at the clock on her nightstand, which read 9:23.
"Oh? What did she have to say?"
"She apologized for shoving me and getting upset," Monika replied and laughed a little bit.
"Wait wait wait wait wait, Natsuki, OUR Natsuki... Apologized to you? Okay what the heck is wrong with everyone today, it's like y'all are different humans or something like that. Oh my goodness... Have you all been abducted by aliens? Am I the only one left? ARE THE PENGUINS OKAY?" Sayori exclaimed frantically, causing Monika to laugh hysterically.
"Sayori, you are literally the most adorable thing on this planet, no if ands or buts about it," Monika replied after her laughing fit, rubbing her eyes.
"M-Monika... Don't say those things... You make me feel all weird and stuff..." Sayori replied quietly, making Monika raise her eyebrow.
"What do you mean, Sayori?"
"U-Uh... I don't know... I... Can we talk about something else, please?" Sayori asked, in a pleading tone.
"Of course, hun. What did you eat for dinner?" Monika knew the best way to get Sayori's mind off literally anything. Food.
While the girl was ranting about her trying to make her parents food, which ended up in the pan lighting on fire, Monika thought about what Sayori was saying. Why did calling her adorable make her feel weird? She saw Yuri call her adorable before, and she just thanked her and hugged her. Maybe... Maybe she didn't like her and thought her saying that was weird...?
NO! Stop being an idiot, Monika. You know that's not true.
"... And that's how my parents banned me from ever using the stove again." Sayori finished, laughing into the phone sheepishly.
"Oh! Yeah, Sayori, you can't have the fire on full blast for the whole time and expect to not set something on fire. Silly girl," Monika laughed with her and sighed, "It's getting late, isn't it? We should probably head to bed."
"Oh... Yeah... I guess it is, isn't it?" Sayori said in a sad tone, "You're okay, right?" She asked once more, just in case.
"I'm perfectly fine, Sayori."
"Promise?" She replied, making Monika silent for a moment.
"I promise with all of my heart," She replied, smiling as she heard Sayori sigh in relief on the other end.
"Well... Good. Goodnight!" The energetic girl exclaimed.
"Goodnight, Yo-Yo," She said and hung up. "Goodnight beautiful..." She whispered and put her phone down, getting up and turning her light off. She flopped back into bed, and curled up once more. This time, she fell asleep, peacefully as ever, ignoring the hell that was tomorrow.
Hey! I know, it's actually not terrible! At least I hope it isn't... Is it? Let me know! As always, please leave a review and tell me what you thought of my return chapter :D Hopefully the next one won't take months to get out, I'm planning on at least two weeks from now. But, who knows? Hope you enjoyed and have an amazing day/night! Love you!