Prompt: Hi! Prompt for HADS.., could you do one based on the line "Fuck butterflies, I feel the whole zoo when I'm with you." Bc this screamed hayffie to me. Thanks so much if you do it x btw I LOOOOVE all your stories and I'm such a big fan of your writing xxx

Butterflies & Zoos

Effie took a sip of her tea to hide her smile, snuggling a little more against Haymitch's side. It wasn't unusual for them to be on their porch at that time of night. They liked to share a hot drink outside and watch the sky for a while when the weather allowed it.

It definitely allowed it that night.

It was cool but not the sharp cold of the last few days, the calm before the storm if Haymitch was to be trusted. Effie was apprehensive of her first winter in Twelve. She had arrived at the end of summer, initially planning on staying only a few weeks and eventually accepting her visit would be permanent. She had tried to live in the Capitol but the war had changed everything and it wasn't the same. It wasn't for her anymore. There was nothing there, no one. And her team, her family was there, in Twelve.

"I am glad they are doing better." she grinned. Her eyes followed the two silhouettes dancing under the pale moon to an imaginary tune in their own garden a few houses over, oblivious to the rest of the world and to the two people watching them from the bench next to Haymitch's front door.

Laughter drifted to them from time to time and Haymitch, too, kept hiding a smile behind his own mug.

"Peeta was already doing a lot better when you sent him back. I knew he would pull through when I left him with you." he pointed out. "The girl, now… I wasn't so sure. If he hadn't come back… I don't think she would have made it. Not like that any way."

Katniss' recovery was a slow one. The grief she felt for the loss of her sister… It knew no bounds.

Effie could understand to a certain extent. She had lost her own sister to the war although they had never been as close as Katniss and Prim used to be.

"It took her a long time to realize she loved him." she hummed.

"Well, she's a little thick in case you didn't notice." he snorted. "A bit stubborn too."

"You don't say." she teased.

He shifted a little and she felt his stare on her but she preferred to keep on drinking her tea.

Their relationship was fragile, built on things left unsaid. He had never allowed her to move in for instance but he had told her she should have whatever possessions she had left in the city shipped to Twelve. He had never said they were leaving their casual no-strings-attached arrangement for something more traditional and monogamous but his eyes never strayed to other women – and he growled in a threatening fashion every time anyone tried to flirt with her. He had never said he had feelings for her but after her rescue he had only left her hospital room to go check on the children and it had taken him weeks to finally relax when she was out of his sight. He had never said he wanted to build his future with her but he was still wearing her token around his wrist and he sometimes referred to stuff they could do around the house an obscure "someday".

"I think she needed to lose him to realize she loved him, sweetheart." he offered awkwardly. "And maybe it wasn't the right time then to be… together but now it is and she knows that so she lets herself… feel it. But… it's difficult to lower her guard, you know? 'Cause… They say it's peace but she's still waiting for the other shoe to drop and she's scared that someone's gonna go after him eventually to get to her 'cause that's just the way it is, yeah? She can never get anything good without it being ripped away. And maybe… Maybe losing that boy again… It will kill her 'cause there's only so much heartbreak she can take and that's not one she wants to revisit."

She took a few sips of her tea, pondering how to answer that in the best way possible. Her heart was racing in her chest but she forced herself to keep a blank face because any excessive reaction on her part would send him running.

It was the first time he had really alluded to loving her and she didn't know what to do with that. She hadn't been prepared for it. Having feelings and expressing them weren't two of Haymitch's strong suits.

"You are awfully attune to Katniss' feelings." she observed in the end with a small smile. She dropped her head on his shoulder and looped her arm around his, giving it a small squeeze to let him know she had understood and it was alright. They had never really been good at communicating verbally. Their bodies usually did the talking, be it with a shared glance from opposite sides of the room or by pinning each other against the closest flat surface. She watched as Peeta dragged the girl back inside their house, still laughing. The look on Katniss' face… It made her smile with happiness and a touch of longing. "Young love… Do you remember how it feels when you first fall in love with someone? The nervousness… The butterflies in your stomach every time you see them… If you are lucky, it never stops…" She turned her head to nuzzle his neck. "I still get butterflies for you …"

It wasn't quite a declaration but it was a convoluted way of professing her feelings. Nothing direct but everything implied.

"Fuck butterflies." he scoffed. "I feel the whole zoo when I'm with you." She grinned against his skin and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, so obviously ill-at-ease it was almost funny. "Your nose's a fucking ice cube. Let's head back inside, sweetheart."

"So you can warm me up?" she taunted, not at all oblivious to what he wanted from her.

"Maybe." He shrugged innocently but the smirk betrayed him.

She laughed but let him guide her inside by the hand, aware that what was cute for young adults was a bit ridiculous for people their age.

Not that she really minded, though.