Oh Boggarts

My heart stammered, unable to believe it was really happening.

I had never been asked that question before. Being asked it by someone like Jesse made it all the more surreal.

I wanted to say, are you sure? You can have your pick of most of the girls at the school, and you want me?

He continued to look expectantly at me.

Reminding myself that I would actually have to give him an answer, I nodded faintly, finding it impossible to speak.

Jesse gave me a slow, hesitant smile in reply.

When he lowered his head towards me the rest of the way, I reciprocated immediately.

Kissing Jesse was nothing like kissing Sirius.

.o.

Jesse had walked me all the way back to my common room, but with him being a Ravenclaw we had no choice but to separate at the entrance. The kiss we shared outside the portrait hole was a lot quicker than the one out on the grounds, but it still left me with my inner lamp glowing madly.

As I stepped through the entrance, I felt a squeal threaten to erupt from my chest, trying my best to calm it before walking over to the familiar set of faces.

I had a boyfriend...

"Hey," Sally greeted me with a smile when I sat down next to her on the battered suede couch. "Have fun?"

She had a twinkle in her eye as she said it.

"He asked me to be his girlfriend," I replied in a quiet voice, unable to hold it in for longer than two seconds.

Sally's mouth widened, grinning at me. "Are you serious? We thought he was going to when he pulled you back like that, but Marlene thought you were just going off for a quick snog!"

I looked back at her with a repressed smile.

"Oh my God, you did that too, didn't you?" she said with a laugh. "What was it like?"

"What happened?" Marlene wanted to know, putting her animated chatter with the boys on hold to look over at us.

Suddenly all of their heads were facing in our direction.

"Can I-?" Sally asked, checking if it was okay to share.

Aware that they would all find out sooner or later now we were properly together, I said it was fine. It was pointless trying to hide it.

"Jesse asked Cheryl out," she told them, still grinning, "Officially!"

Dorcas was the first to react. "Aww, really?" she smiled warmly at me. "Well it's about time, I say!"

The rest of the faces seemed too shocked to say anything.

Out of all of them, I was the most surprised about Lily. She didn't seem as pleased for me as I would've expected her to be, and when I followed her eye-line I saw that it was resting on Sirius of all people.

His face was pretty emotionless.

I looked quickly away, not wanting to ruin the moment over something so small that I couldn't even begin to understand it.

.o.

"So what was yours then?" Marlene asked James defensively.

We'd spent the rest of the evening lounging across the sofas, sharing stories about what our different Boggarts had been back in the creepy old shacks. I was grateful for the fairly quick return to normal after my brief revelation.

Marlene had made the mistake of telling everyone her Boggart had been an unattractive, unpopular version of herself. That was what all her horrified cries had been about.

Somewhat justifiably, James had ripped the stuffing out of her for it.

When she put the focus back on him, however, he seemed oddly reluctant to share his own.

"It was an injured Lily," Sirius drawled, as if it was obvious. "I mean, is there even any doubt?"

Marlene had firmly retaken her spot on his lap again. Obviously she had managed to get over whatever had happened between them earlier, because her arm was wrapped possessively around his neck again, as usual.

Sirius, on the other hand, was managing the difficult feat of having someone lounging across his lap without actually laying a single hand on them in the process. His left hand was dangling over the arm of the chair while his right hand propped his head up. There was a distinctly bored expression on his face.

James sent him a glare before glancing nervously down at Lily sat next to him.

I didn't know what he was worried about. Lily looked like she was about to pass out from the cuteness of it all. Like James seeing a copy of her lying on the floor in a critical state was something to get all mushy about.

He gave a small grin when she huddled even closer into him, putting her hand on his leg.

"Noticed you still haven't shared yours," James said to Sirius, clearly trying to keep his cool at her increased contact.

Sirius gave him an almost imperceptible shake of his head in reply, his expression solemn.

Taking the hint, James dropped the topic immediately.

I watched them carefully; just what was the brave Sirius Black scared of?

Remus wouldn't share his either, and again none of the other boys would push it.

They were all acting quite cagey about the whole thing really, considering they expected all of us to spill the details of ours.

Peter was the only one of them who happily told everyone what his was when asked, but even then it felt like a big fat lie just to make James laugh. According to Peter his Boggart had been 'an empty plate because he was afraid of running out of food'.

"What was yours?" Lily asked me interestedly, the spotlight now falling on me. Hers had been a bit of a sad one really; the bodies of all of her Muggle family members, dead at the hands of some accidental spell she had cast.

I thought back to the ghoulish little version of Sirius, pointing his finger at me and laughing. There was no way I was going to tell them that.

"It was a snake like Dorcas's," I said, trying to think fast.

Dorcas shivered. "Ugh, was yours huge and yellow too?"

"Erm, no, it was red," I answered, trying my best to sound believable.

Remus stretched his arms above his head. "Right then, I might head off to bed I think," he said, his eyes extremely heavily lidded. "I'm absolutely knackered."

"Yeah, me too," James agreed, getting up and holding out his hand for Lily. Helping her to her feet, he waved a lazy hand behind him.

"Night all," he said before the two of them headed away, walking her over to the girls' dormitory staircase with Sally and Dorcas.

Seeing Peter also hobble up from his seat to leave, obviously still aching from the tournament, Sirius gave Marlene a quick pat on the back to let her know he wanted to get up and join them.

She turned her head to look at him, "Kiss first," she said, not budging from his lap.

I only realised I was openly watching them when I caught Sirius's eye by accident over the top of Marlene's shoulder. I stood up quickly as if I hadn't been listening, and ended up thwacking my knee on the low table in front of me sending the chess pieces on top flying everywhere.

Murmuring a swear word under my breath, I had no choice but to hang back to pick them all up.

Once the pieces were all back in their respective places, the kings and queens of both colour looking more than a little cross with me, I noticed there was still an empty space on one of the front rows.

Bending down at the hip with the blood rushing to my face, I eyed the underneath of the table to see if it had rolled there. Sure enough there it was; a black pawn lying on its side next to an old piece of what I hoped was chocolate.

Reaching my hand out towards it, I heaved forwards to close my fingers around it.

"So what was your Boggart really then?"

I sprang up in shock, nearly hitting my head on the table this time.

Standing right behind my raised backside, it seemed Sirius had finally managed to extricate himself from Marlene's clutches.

"What?" I asked, turning around to him red faced from exertion and surprised by his approach. "Where's Marlene?" I glanced around.

"Gone to bed," he answered, before continuing where he left off, "I know it wasn't a snake. You used to have one."

I stared at him. "How do you know that?"

"I remember you telling us all in Care of Magical Creatures in second year," he replied with a shrug.

"You remember that?" I asked in faint amazement.

"I liked you, remember?" he added in answer to my astonishment.

I had almost forgotten he'd admitted he'd fancied me back in 2nd year, before puberty had struck and made me unworthy of course. I had to resist the sudden urge to glower at him for his past mistakes.

He was still waiting for me to tell him what my Boggart really was.

"It was you," I told him simply, not feeling like lying to protect his feelings.

A line appeared between his brows. "What?" he asked, as if trying to imagine the different ways it could've possibly been him.

"It was you when you were younger," I said, making sure he didn't think I'd done a James and my worst fear was him lying injured somewhere, "Bullying me, calling me the Beaver."

The line on his brow flattened out, realisation taking its place.

"It really still bothers you that much, even after all this time?"

I shrugged, acting more careless than I felt, "It was a surprise to me too," I replied with a humourless smile.

He reached out a hand as if to touch my arm in what I could only imagine was going to be a comforting gesture, but he dropped it back down again before it could make contact, glancing around us as if someone would be watching.

"So what was yours?" I asked, keeping the tone of my voice businesslike to avoid being drawn in. "I've told you mine, it's only fair."

He looked at me for a second and I genuinely thought he was going to refuse.

"It was Reg," he answered eventually.

My firmness faltered slightly, I knew from past experience that Sirius's brother was a touchy subject.

"He had a Dark Mark on his arm," he continued in explanation, "I'd completely lost him to it. There was no going back for him."

I looked up at him with pity in my eyes, the invisible barrier I'd formed between us crumbling instantly to the floor.

There was something unfamiliar in his expression that was remarkably close to sadness.

"I better go," he said, as if it was his turn to build his wall up now, shutting me back out.

"You don't have to leave just because-"

"It's not because of any of that," he cut me off.

I watched him glance around again.

"Then what is it?" I asked

He sighed.

"Marlene still reckons there's something going on between us," he admitted finally. "Asked me point blank to stop talking to you when there's no one else around us."

I frowned, my mouth opening slightly.

"I have a boyfriend," I stated, even though it still felt extremely alien to say those words.

"I know," Sirius replied, an edge to his voice.

"If it was up to her, she'd have me shackled to the bed away from the entire female population." His expression was a mixture between laughter and a genuine cry for help.

I wanted to ask him why he stayed with her if he felt this way, but the words sat unused on the tip of my tongue until I swallowed them back down. I couldn't do that to Marlene. Not with a clear conscience.

"She's a bit jealous, then?" I said instead, trying to make an uncertain joke out of it.

"You could say that."

"Well she hasn't warned me away from you since you started dating," I said, "And I'm sure if she really felt that strongly about us she would've by now. This is Marlene, after all."

He shook his head seriously. "After what you said to her in the Great Hall she won't chance it. She knows one more mistake like that and she risks losing you as a friend."

I instantly knew what he meant; her telling me I was going to ended up old and alone, and to stick to 'easy' boys like Peter.

It came as a huge shock to hear that our friendship actually meant that much to her. She always played it as if nothing would bother her.

Hearing that she was upset by the fact I was getting closer to Sirius -even just as friends- but didn't want to risk telling me in case I stopped talking to her made me feel more than a bit sad.

"Maybe we should just not talk anymore then, if it upsets her that much," I said hesitantly.

Sirius stood still, studying me.

"That's really what you'd want?"

I paused, feeling something tug inside.

"No," I said honestly.

For some reason the idea of never being able to talk to him again was definitely not a pleasant one. Besides, I'd already tried it before. Ignoring Sirius wasn't something I could seem to keep up for any real length of time.

His grey eyes met with mine, somehow reading the conflict on my face.

"Good, because nor would I," he said seriously.

I felt a familiar sensation of guilt expand in my stomach, as if we were doing something we shouldn't be. It was the same feeling I'd had in the queue during the tournament, when he'd commented on my inappropriate clothing choices.

Something we were doing didn't feel fair on Marlene or Jesse, but I wasn't exactly sure what; we hadn't so much as nudged one another.

"You look tired," Sirius said, examining my face, "Go to bed."

I knew instantly that he was giving me a get-out clause to leave.

I was grateful for it.

.o.

As soon as I got into the dormitory I made a beeline for Lily, now seated on her bed fluffing her pillows for the night.

I was going to find out why she'd been staring at Sirius when Sally had told everyone about Jesse asking me out.

When I sat on the end of her bed, she looked back at me expectantly.

"Are you okay?" she asked, pausing mid-fluff.

But as soon as I opened my mouth and told her why I was there she tried to shut the conversation down straight away.

At first she tried to pretend she hadn't even been looking at him at all, to the point where I was starting to feel silly and paranoid, but eventually she relented when she could see how much it was bothering me.

"Alright fine, so I might have glanced at him," she admitted eventually, "briefly," she added. "But if I did, I did it without even realising." She put her pillow back down, smoothing it out with the palms of her hands.

"Why?" I asked.

Lily tucked the shorter hair that had escaped from her low ponytail behind her ear, looking incredibly uncomfortable.

"Okay," she said, readying herself, "Okay. Now, please don't read too much into this, and definitely don't mention it to Sirius."

Suspecting that whatever came next was probably going to be something I wouldn't want to share with anyone else, I checked around us to make sure no one else was listening in.

By the sounds of the chatting and the tap being turned on and off in the bathroom, Dorcas and Marlene were both busy getting themselves ready to sleep. Mary had already closed the curtains around her bed, not interested in anything the rest of us were doing.

"You know when you were stuck at the bottom of that ladder panicking and calling out for help?" Lily started.

"Yes?" I said, waiting with baited breath.

"Well, even though Sirius pretended he hadn't seen you afterwards, he actually had," she said, "Because I saw him. I saw him see you," she clarified confusingly.

"Why would he pretend he hadn't seen me?" I asked.

Friends or not, Sirius normally wouldn't pass up on a chance to rub something like that in my face; not being able to jump down from an extremely doable height.

It was embarrassing to even think about.

"Possibly because the second he saw you were in trouble, he started jogging over to help?" she suggested tentatively.

I looked at her dubiously.

"Are you sure he wasn't coming over to laugh?"

Lily gave me a grim smile. "Oh he looked genuinely concerned," she replied assuredly. "I only saw him when I was on my way back to you with Jesse. As soon as he noticed us coming, he pretended he was just checking to see what was going on."

I tried not to curl up into a ball of shame. Sirius had seen me crying out for help. He'd seen everything.

I suddenly remembered holding on to Jesse after he caught me. I hadn't had the strength to care who saw us embracing one another at the time, just glad of having someone there to prop me up. A warm body to hold on to.

"When he saw you hugging Jesse, he went back over to James and Remus acting as if he'd never come over in the first place," Lily confirmed.

"I wonder what he was going to do?" I thought aloud, trying to fight the unexplainable feeling of disappointment that I hadn't had the chance to find out. "When he came over to me, I mean."

She gave a small shrug. "It doesn't really matter now, does it? You had Jesse there to catch you. You didn't need him."

In all likelihood, Jesse would never have got round to asking me out if it hadn't been for my unexpected fall into his arms. It had given us a convenient gateway into actual bodily contact. It had brought us instantly closer.

If it hadn't have happened, it probably would have been weeks before we'd even kissed.

The image of Sirius being there to catch me instead of Jesse momentarily entered into my mind.

It made me wonder if coming to my rescue like that would've changed our relationship at all, the way it had with Jesse and me.

I knew one thing for sure, I would've been incredibly grateful to him for it.

But it was like Lily said, I guess it didn't really matter now.

.oOo.

I startled awake, sitting up suddenly in my bed. The bedroom was still dark and shadowed and I realised I must've woken up too early.

Leaning over to look tiredly at my clock, I could just about make out the little hand sitting somewhere between one and two o clock in the morning.

I groaned quietly, peering around at the other beds in the room. All of the curtains surrounding their beds were firmly closed, preventing me from seeing my friends sleeping forms.

It was unusual for them all to be closed like that. Marlene, at the very least, normally liked to have them wide open to avoid feeling claustrophobic.

I let my eyes shut, flopping back down on my pillow. They felt grainy and sore. Just as I was easing back into sleep, something niggled at the back of my mind, forcing my eyes back open again.

The dormitory door leading down to the common room had been open.

Pushing myself back up slowly, I stared over at it. In this light the only thing I could see was the large rectangle of black the opening produced, unable to see anything of the staircase past that point.

It was yet another thing that wasn't quite right; Dorcas normally asked us to keep it closed because she found it creepy. As if she was scared something might be hiding there, watching her.

An unexpected movement near the bottom of my bed made my heart still.

Psyching myself up, I forced myself to look directly at it. I could barely believe my eyes when I saw what it was.

"Padfoot?" I murmured under my breath.

Seeing I was awake the big black dog silently crossed the last few steps towards me, jumping up and onto my bed. The bed springs dropped a little under his weight, creaking slightly, but he didn't seem to care, his tail now wagging.

Luckily none of my friends seemed to have woken up at the sounds he was causing, though I had no idea how.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him as quietly as I could, stroking his sizeable head.

He licked my face in response, his paws moving excitedly around, trampling heavily all over my blanket covered legs.

Circling an area to the right of my hip, he finally settled down beside me, resting his heavy head in my lap.

Watching him make himself comfortable, I thought instantly of the consequences if he was still there in the morning.

"You have to leave," I told him firmly.

He cast his eyes up at me dolefully in reply.

When the fur on his head started to lengthen, gliding through my fingers, I recoiled back from it.

Longer, much more human-like hair appeared in its place.

"Sirius..." I started, looking into his dark eyes, having only the faint glimmer of light coming through the window to see him by.

He lifted his head up, leaning over me.

"Shhh," he replied, nodded at the thick rows of curtains still closed around my friends beds.

Lifting a hand, he swept the hair from my brow and I was surprised by how unfamiliarly tender his touch was.

When he moved again it was to slowly lower his face, closer towards mine.

Even though I was still half-asleep and not really able to process what exactly was going on, I still had more than enough time to stop his advance. To stop him before anything happened that we wouldn't be able to take back.

But I didn't. I let him continue moving forward, closing the already small gap between us, his lips nearing mine with every passing second.

I couldn't stop the soft moan that escaped my throat at the point of their connection.

He pressed his body against me in reply, feeling solid and insistent through the sheets. There was another low moan of pleasure, but I wasn't sure which one of us it was this time.

It took all of my willpower to ultimately put my hands on his shoulders and push him back from me.

"We can't," I said, taking in a staggered breath. My lips felt swollen and my vision hazy.

"You want this," he said gazing down at me, his voice as breathless as mine, "why do you keep stopping yourself?"

I glanced reflexively over at the thankfully still drawn curtains around the other beds, my focus landing on Marlene's.

Sliding his wand from his belt hook, he pointed it at the side of my headboard until my own bed's dense curtain came sliding around of its own volition. In a few short moments it had blocked us completely from view, almost taking with it the last of the light.

It was close and dark now in our new enclosure.

"What about Marlene and Jesse?" I asked.

He lowered his face back to mine, "They're not here," he murmured against my lips.

It was as if nothing I could say could convince him that this was a bad idea, or that what we were doing was wrong on so many levels.

With him continuing to put his lips and hands on me in places I had never imagined could feel as satisfying as it did, I felt the last of my resolve dissolve away.

.oOo.

When I woke up the next morning, my eyes practically flung themselves open.

The curtain around my bed was open now and I turned quickly, relief pouring over me when I found Sirius had already gone.

I couldn't get the image of the night before from my mind. Hot and sweaty and ...I had to force it from my mind, my pulse starting to gallop again.

It was the start of the weekend, but I couldn't feel too happy about the fact due to the searing guilt now piercing its way through my body. We had done all of that within throwing distance of Marlene. What kind of friend was I? What kind of girlfriend for that matter?

Checking the time, I saw that it was now half 7. My friends were all still sleeping, all apart from Dorcas who was singing absentmindedly in the bathroom.

I frowned around at their beds; though they were all visibly still asleep, only Mary's curtain was shut now, as it had been when I'd first went to bed the night before.

The bathroom door opened and Dorcas emerged, cleansing her face with a wad of cotton wool. When she saw I was awake she smiled.

"Did you open the curtains around their beds?" I asked her, my disorientation making me forget the basic niceties of a morning greeting.

Dorcas paused in her cleansing. "What do you mean?" she asked, puzzled.

"The curtains around everyone's bed were drawn when I woke up in the middle of the night," I told her, starting to panic that one of them may have seen more than I'd thought.

Dorcas tilted her head. "Their curtains have been open all night," she said, "Apart from Mary's, obviously. Is that who you meant?"

"No," I said, biting back my agitation. "Marlene's was definitely shut, I saw it."

"Marlene never has her curtain shut," she replied, "You know it makes her feel trapped in. It was open last night and it was open when I woke up this morning."

"Maybe she got up in the night and closed it for a bit, then opened it back up this morning?" I asked out loud, really just trying to explain it to myself.

Dorcas looked at me like she couldn't understand why I was getting so worked up about bed curtains.

She finished wiping her face before throwing the used cotton wool in the bin.

"Did you happen to notice what time it was when you saw them open?" she questioned

I stalled, wondering if she could've seen Sirius or Padfoot entering the room without me knowing.

"Between one and two this morning," I answered, trying to play it innocent.

To my great surprise, a smile played at her lips.

"You were dreaming," she said definitely.

I balked, it being the last thing I had expected her to say. "What?"

She laughed lightly. "I was still awake at that time," she replied in explanation, "I didn't manage to get to sleep until about half 2 after all of that assault course nonsense."

She started to pop dots of moisturiser around her face and under her eyes. "Now that you mention it though, you were talking in your sleep."

I shook my head a little, still not processing what she had said.

"Well not so much talking, actually," she corrected herself, "Kind of like, moaning maybe?"

My face burned hotly.

"Were you dreaming about Jesse by any chance?" she asked playfully, blending the dots together into a creamy lather.

I did my best to laugh it off, pretending my head didn't feel like it was going to explode like a dropped watermelon.

It had been a dream. The entire thing.

At first I blamed myself. This was my own sordid fault, probably brought on by the fact Lily and I had been talking about Sirius right before bed. I'd managed to take him running over to save me and just fling it upwards to a whole new level.

And then it dawned on me; the memory of the last time something like this had happened.

It hadn't been me at all. The dream had been implanted into my mind by a sick, twisted, bespectacled, messy haired pervert.

James Potter, I pictured his stupid grinning face. I was ready for his blood.

.o.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Mary asked me as I was about to leave the dormitory, already showered and dressed by now.

Everyone was up by the point, and I had found it extremely hard to act as if I wasn't about to kill someone in cold blood.

"Not now, Mary," I said curtly, blindly telling the others I'd meet them at lunch.

"But I wanted to know what happened with Ant," Mary tried, not letting it drop. "Did you get chance to ask him what's been wrong with him lately?"

Ignoring her, I slammed the dormitory door shut behind me and raced down the staircase into the common room.

This was the last time any of the Marauders were going to mess around with me, I would make sure of it. I wasn't sure what I was going to do yet, but I wasn't about to let my adrenaline wear off before I could confront him about what he'd done. If it did then I might never say anything at all, and I just had to.

I wondered if Sirius had been in on the joke.

I felt my eyes prickle, the layer of loose saltwater forming in them threatening to fall. I wiped it away before it could make my eyes noticeably red.

Imagine if I really did want Sirius as much as James seemed to think - how unbelievably heartbreaking would it be to have gone through all of that last night only to wake up and find out it was nothing more than a dream shoved into my head in yet another stupid prank.

It was beyond thoughtless. It was cruel.

I brushed away another prickle at the corner of my eye, thinking back to the dream yet again. I felt sure it would leave my memory with a permanent scar.

My turbulent gaze scanned the common room. His recognisable scruffy hair was nowhere to be seen.

Not really knowing where I was going, but feeling the need to keep moving, I exited through the portrait hole and headed off down the corridor.

"Chezza!"

The back of my eyes flashed a lurid red in response. When I turned around, James Potter grinned inanely at me.

He was on his own, heading back towards the direction I had come from.

"Come to gloat?" I demanded, barely able to keep the lid on the simmering pan of my temper.

He frowned, his expression idiotic. "Huh?" he said, pretending he didn't know exactly what I meant.

"Where are your friends?" I asked him, "I would've thought they'd want to be around to see the show."

"The show?" he repeated, furrowing his brow at me. "Are you going to explain what you're talking about any time soon?"

"I know you've been messing around with my dreams," I spat out, satisfied when at last a spark of recognition appeared on his face.

"Ah," James said, repressing a grin. "Well, you see, about that-"

"It's sick!" I exclaimed before he could come up with some crap excuse as to why it was an okay thing to do. "Why the hell would you even want me to have those kinds of dreams about your best friend? Do you get off on it or something?"

"Hang on a minute-" he said, his smile faltering.

"I let it go the first time," I went on regardless, not letting him overtake the situation as he always did. "Even though Lily told me exactly what you'd done. But to do it a 2nd time?" I raged.

I pointed a finger at him, looking as threatening as I humanly could seeing as how I was a fair few inches shorter than him.

"If you even think about messing around with my dreams again, I'm going to go straight to McGonagall," I promised vehemently. "And I'm pretty sure she won't look too lightly on tampering with people's free will."

By the time I had finished he was staring blankly at me, his eyes wide behind the lenses of his round glasses.

"A 2nd time?" he asked finally.

I almost imploded from the sheer audacity of his reaction, as if I hadn't just let rip on him as violently as I could.

"When did it happen again?" he asked, as casually as if he was asking when we'd got our Potions homework.

I let out a gust of air. "You know it was last night, Potter. Stop trying to play innocent."

For some unknown reason a strange grin had formed on his face, and he let out a short laugh of shock.

"Oh Merlin, this is too sweet," he said, his eyes sparkling with humour now. He looked upwards, "What have I done to deserve it?" he asked some higher power, giving thanks for Merlin knew what.

I tried to maintain my haughty anger, but it was starting to glitch.

"What're you on about?" I demanded.

He shook his head.

"You're a naughty little thing really, aren't you?" he smirked, "Under all of that false meekness. Bet you're a firecracker in the sheets."

He wouldn't seem to let go of the same inane grin, curling his mouth upwards at the corners.

"Tell me, was it a good one?" he asked, "Go on," he pressed, "tell me all the juicy details."

He paused for a second, seeming to think better of it, his nose wrinkling slightly at the prospect, "On second thoughts, maybe don't."

I just stood there, speechless and absolutely mortified beyond repair.

It hadn't taken me long to figure out my devastating mistake.

"So you really didn't-?" I asked in a quiet voice, still trying to keep my dignity even though it had been unceremoniously ripped away and stamped on repeatedly.

James chuckled as if he couldn't believe it himself, "Nope, all your own work I'm afraid," he confirmed my worst fear.

"You can't tell him," I said instantly, knowing he would know who I meant. "Please James," I practically begged, "Promise me you won't."

"Can't promise that, I'm afraid," he replied simply.

I had the urge to lash out at him physically. It would've felt incredibly satisfying to slap some humility right into his smug face at that moment.

Knowing that wouldn't really help matters though, I tried a different approach.

"Lily wouldn't want you to," I said, looking for his reaction.

I felt like a child threatening to tell someone's mother on them, but I was beyond desperate at that point.

My tactic seemed to have the desired effect, with James looking a little less certain than he had done.

Eventually he sighed.

"I dunno, Chezza, as much as I don't want my Lily Flower to think badly of me, this might just be too good not to share. He is my best friend, after all."

I shot imaginary daggers into the very whites of his eyes, my teeth gritted together.

"Besides," he added nonchalantly, "if I know Padfoot..." he leaned down and put the back of his hand to the side of his mouth conspiratorially, "...and I do... he'll be chuffed to find out you've been having saucy dreams about him."

He straightened back up.

"It'll make his day," he told me confidently, the humour still evident in his voice. "Nay, maybe even his week!"

He started to walk past me, heading away back towards the common room.

"You minx," he said, giving me a wink and one final shake of his head in disbelief.

Glued to the spot, I watched him disappear through the portrait door. As it swung shut I was left standing there, unable to process what had just happened.

This was going to be bad. This was going to be very bad.