A/N: Two chapters in one week is pretty much unknown for me, but here we all are! In lockdown!
Your reviews are super appreciated, so thank you :)
Platform 9 3/4
James brought the map closer to his face and squinted at the extra dot next to Marlene's, both of them still right at the very edge of the Forbidden Forest.
"Who is it?" I pressed, the tension killing me. "Who's with her?"
"Looks like it's Mike," he replied incredulously.
"Mike?" Sally said, grasping the map from James's hand before he had a chance to stop her.
"Hey!" he exclaimed. "Careful of the goods!"
Ignoring him, she too held it close to her face and eyed it in bemusement.
"It is Mike..." she confirmed.
James snatched the map back. "You don't say?" he said sarcastically.
Dorcas gave me a nervous look.
What the hell was Marlene doing hanging out with the Marauders vile roommate, Mike Bartinski?
I'd been steering well clear of Mike ever since he'd plotted to spike my pumpkin juice with love potion to make me kiss Peter bloody Pettigrew.
... Though it had been truly hilarious to watch him downing the drink he'd intended for me, throw himself face-first at a meaty Slytherin sixth year and then at a huge triple layer trifle on the Ravenclaws' dinner table.
Even though he had no way of knowing for sure that Sirius and I had been the ones responsible for his nasty little plan backfiring that day, I still got the impression that Bartinski had developed a vendetta against me either way.
That was why seeing him holding a super secret squirrel meeting with Marlene didn't exactly fill me with confidence.
As soon as the thought entered my head, I felt bad for thinking the worst of my friend. Marlene and I had had our differences, but there was no way she would work with someone like Mike to plan something against me.
Right?
There was probably a perfectly reasonable excuse for both of them loitering together on the precipice of an out of bounds, not to mention dangerous area of the grounds.
"If Mike's done anything to her, I swear to Merlin I will kill him myself," Lily promised vehemently.
.o.
With James leading the way with the map, Lily, Sally, Dorcas and I followed him across the dark grounds past the gamekeeper's hut until we had a clear view of the Forbidden Forest outskirts lit up in the moonlight; the trees forming an oppressive, looming backdrop.
What we saw when we got there would be forever etched into my retinas. It was awful.
Marlene and Mike were entangled in some kind of two-headed snake embrace, absolutely snogging one another's faces off.
We all watched in pure horror as their hands slid up and down furiously, touching every part of each other's bodies. Every. Part.
I suppressed my gag reflex.
"Oh Merlin, I think I just puked in my mouth," Sally muttered, covering it with her hand.
"You pair of dirty birdies!" James exclaimed at the top of his lungs once he'd finally recovered from the shock of it all. He let out a massive guffaw, pointing at them and glancing back at the rest of us.
"Are you seeing this?" he asked us, if we could have missed it.
"Unfortunately, yes," Lily replied, her pale face turning green.
Too busy dining on one another to have seen us approach, Mike and Marlene both jumped back in alarm and threw their arms down to their sides on instinct.
"Nothing!" Mike answered a question that no one had asked in his panic.
"Oh it most definitely was something," James said.
His face was plastered with a smug Cheshire cat grin.
Mike glowered at us, hastily doing his belt up.
"Oh shut it, Potter," Marlene said carelessly, straightening her clothes out and scrunching her curly hair, "You're all too frigid, that's your problem."
"We thought you'd been murdered or something!" Sally cried. "How long have you two been at it?!"
Marlene paused and looked up at us. "Aw, really?" she replied, glazing over most of what Sally had said, "Were you coming here to save me? That's actually kinda cute, isn't it Mikey?" she asked, jabbing him in the side with her elbow.
"Yeah, they're cute alright. Cute as a blast-ended skrewt," Mike griped. "I'm off."
"Might want to grab a cushion on your way," James told him with a grin, nodding towards Mike's crotch area. "You'll scare the first years."
"Ew," Dorcas moaned in disgust, but was still unable to stop herself from looking. She gave a full-body shiver.
Mike stalked away up the hill and I turned back to Marlene as she continued to absentmindedly primp her hair, giving her a look that said 'really? Mike?'
She shrugged unapologetically, "What? A girl has needs."
Did this mean she was officially over Sirius then?
.oOo.
After all of the talking and planning about what we were going to do in the Christmas holidays, they seemed to come around all of a sudden, and I soon found myself face to face with the black and white sign reading 'Hogsmeade Station' faster than I could say jingle bells.
I looked around my surroundings, thinking back to all of the other times I had been standing on that exact same platform waiting for the Hogwarts Express to arrive.
Like back in fourth year, when Sirius had dared Peter to stick a sucked everlasting lollipop to my back, and no amount of my mum's Muggle cleaning solutions could get rid of the bright red stain left by Pettigrew's somehow nuclear spittle.
A lot had changed since then, for both me and in my life. Pretty much all of it for the better, I was glad to say.
Masses of students were still filing in from the carriages around us, filling every inch of the tiny station until the platform seemed to sag under the weight of us all.
"It's here!" Dorcas exclaimed excitedly, and I turned around in time to see the shiny red train rolling into the station.
As soon as it pulled to a stop, she and the rest of our group started moving towards it, edging our way through the crowds of loitering students.
As the taller of the girls, I had been nominated to lead the way, and I could feel Lily's small, clutching hands pinching into my shoulders as she let herself be dragged through the crowd.
"Are we close yet?!" her bodiless voice called out from behind me, her face muffled between my shoulder blades as James and Peter flanked her back.
"Nearly!" I shouted back, being buffeted around by the other students as they all started to realise the doors were about to open and raced to get on first.
"I don't know why everyone's always in such a rush to get on the train," Remus lamented from my right shoulder. "Nnf-" he grunted as someone shoved into him with perfect timing, "-It's not like there aren't enough seats!" he called out to them blindly.
Marlene side-stepped in front of him, coming from nowhere.
"Alright, don't get your knick-knacks in a twist!" she exclaimed before continuing to push her way to the very front and leaving us all behind, revealing herself as his assailant. "You'll thank me when we've got good seats!" she called back.
Remus gave her a dubious noise in reply, his eyes widening as Sally and Dorcas followed in her wake with apologetic expressions.
"Really girls?" he called after them, making Sally shoot him a mischievous grin.
Almost as soon as they had managed to board the train and disappear inside, I saw a familiar head of long hair get on just a few steps behind them and watched Sirius climb on easily as if he was the only person on the platform.
"How did he get there so quickly?" I cried, frowning at the unfairness of it all.
As if he had heard me, he turned in my direction while I was struggling with the crowds.
Pausing in the doorway, I thought for the briefest of moments that he was going to lend me a hand somehow, but then he did something so utterly irritating that even I was amazed by it.
He lifted his hand to his head and gave me a solemn salute. Like I was some kind of fallen war veteran or something. And then with a flicker of a smirk, he was gone.
"Get a seat at the back," I heard him call after Marlene, his voice growing fainter once inside.
I continued to watch his descent along the length of the train through the windows, catching glimpses of him through the inner doors, all still open waiting for the passengers.
We had been talking just fine over the past week or so, but it was more like the type of conversation you'd have with an acquaintance rather than a friend, both of us more guarded around one another than we had been even just a month ago.
As soon as I put my first foot onto the train step I felt Lily's painful grip on my shoulder thankfully release.
Ah well, I told myself as we tramped along the narrow inner corridor, at least I wouldn't have to put up with him during this journey.
"Are you sure you don't want to sit with us?" Lily asked me hopefully for what felt like the millionth time since that morning.
We peered distractedly into each compartment as we passed. The first three were already full.
"I've already promised Jesse that I'll sit with him," I reminded her, heading to meet him in the fifth carriage along just as he had instructed me.
"But won't it be a bit strange sitting with his friends?" she asked, "Considering you haven't really met them."
Jesse had asked me to sit with them during our last DADA lesson of the year, and even though Lily was right, he'd just looked so eager about the idea that I hadn't been able to say no.
I gave her a noncommittal shrug as my eyes met with the brass number '5' hanging at the top of the wooden frame to my side.
A feeling of excited anticipation stirred in my stomach, but when I looked inside the compartment I found it still completely empty. Jesse must not have arrived yet.
"Right, well I guess I'll see you at 9 and 3/4 then," I said, turning around to face her.
James leaned forwards over the top of her head, his gaze scanning the empty space inside number 5.
"Sure you haven't been stood up?" he asked.
"He'll be here," I replied, sounding more confident than I felt.
James shook his head disapprovingly. "All of this just to avoid Padfoot."
"It has nothing to do with him," I replied shortly.
"Sure it hasn't."
"We'll leave you to it anyway," Lily interjected quickly, sensing that the mood was deteriorating. "And don't forget you can always come and sit with us if he doesn't turn up for any reason," she added more quietly.
I nodded. "See you later."
I made eye contact with James just long enough for him to give me another look like a disappointed parent before I headed inside.
Having already left our belongings with the giant groundskeeper to stow in the luggage carriage, I had nothing to do but go and sit quietly next to the window and wait.
Things could've been worse after all; it could've already been full of people I didn't recognise.
Perhaps I should shut the door to make sure no one else comes in, I wondered as my foot bobbed nervously up and down, crossed over my other leg.
I had been waiting five minutes already and my eyes were getting tired from darting to the corridor outside with every figure that went by. Most of them were glancing back at me in the hope of a free seat.
Without another second's thought, I promptly stood up and closed the door, shutting them all out and leaving me in sudden silence.
My bum had barely grazed the worn seat cushion when I hovered uncertainly.
But what if it looks weird, I thought again, me just sat in here on my own with the door closed?
Moving quickly, I lifted back up to re-open the door.
Unknown to me, however, someone chose that exact moment to push it from the other side.
The door handle swung out of my grasp and a body bumped straight into me, sending me stumbling back a step.
There was a brief spurt of surprised laughter behind them.
"Sorry!" I exclaimed, looking up only to find Jesse looking back at me. He put his hands out to steady me with a smile on his face.
"Why was the door closed?" he asked me in an undertone.
"Hurry up, Jess!" someone called from the corridor, just outside of my line of vision, "We're causing a pile-up out here."
Jesse gestured me back over to the window seat to make way for his friends, and then he side-stepped toward me.
There were more of them than I had been anticipating. A lot more.
I greeted each of them as they entered with a quick "Hi" and a smile, trying not to let my shyness completely overcome me. I recognised a few of them from around the castle or in my classes.
After much bustle and shuffling, they eventually managed to all cram in and we found ourselves packed together like sardines in a can; me still in the window seat with Jesse at my side.
He took my hand almost immediately, giving me a reassuring smile.
"I can't believe we're finally allowed to meet you!" one of the girls said, her dark eyes bright as her bangles clinked together with her enthusiastic hand gestures. "It felt like Jess was hiding you away from us."
"Maybe I was worried you would scare her away," Jesse replied, looking to me to join his smile.
I laughed along, faking my confidence.
Jesse ran through their names one by one and as my memory started to wane, I ended up giving up on remembering all of them, hoping I could learn them at a later date.
Though I hated to admit it, every single one of Jesse's friends were the kind of people I normally avoided in school.
They had an aura about them that, though friendly, was intimidating purely because they were so positive and attractive and loved by everyone.
While Sirius, James, Remus and Marlene were popular, they were also far from perfect, and if they didn't like you they were honest about it.
It was really hard to judge when Jesse's friends were actually being genuine because they were always just so nice.
Being suspicious of nice people probably said more about me than them though.
"Jess has been talking about you non-stop," the first girl who Jesse had introduced as Milla carried on, giving Jesse a knowing smile.
"I think I recognise you from my Herbology class," the Ravenclaw boy sitting opposite me said to me, his expression unsure.
"Yeah," I replied, finding it hard to understand how he could've possibly missed me considering the class sizes weren't huge.
His eyes lit up in remembrance.
"You're the girl Sirius always gets told off for talking to, aren't you?" he said.
Jesse looked at me interestedly. "I thought you were sat next to Lily in that class?" he asked.
"I am," I replied, wanting to sock the other boy in the face, "But James comes over to talk to Lily, so me and Sirius are just kind of left to talk to one another."
Jesse had been a bit curious about Sirius ever since the whole helping me to rescue Professor Mison thing, though he'd only ever seemed to have good things to say about the 'friend' who'd saved me from my certain doom.
He nodded at my answer now, satisfied.
We all found ourselves jumping back when the door to the compartment swung open out of nowhere, colliding with the knees of the boy sitting behind it.
"Ow!" he cried as a tear-strewn girl appeared in the doorway.
The new girl took one look at the completely full compartment in front of her before bursting into tears again, cradling her face in her hands.
"Sera!" Milla stood up immediately, bangles jangling frantically as she shuffled through the sea of legs and feet over to the newcomer. "What's the matter, chick?" she asked gently.
"It's Ben," Sera spluttered out between sobs, "he's broken up with me."
There was a mass protestation from all of the occupants of our little room, which only seemed to make Sera even more inconsolable.
I sat there feeling incredibly third wheel-like for who knows how many minutes while Sera stood and explained what had happened as best as her staggering breaths would allow.
The long and short of it was, she was supposed to have spent the train ride sitting with her boyfriend and his friends in their carriage, only for him to choose that precise moment to decide they needed to take a 'break'.
"And right before Christmas too," Milla said in her exaggerated sympathetic way. "That's just heartless."
Sera peered around at us all like a kicked crup puppy. "Would you mind if I came back to sit in here after all?" she asked hopefully.
I looked around at the way we were already all jammed in with barely enough space to breath let alone fit in one more person, and I already knew what I had to do.
"I'll go and find somewhere else," I offered, feeling like I had no real choice in the matter considering I was reason Sera's usual seat had been taken.
Already getting to my feet, Jesse reached out for my hand. "Wait, I'm sure Sera would not mind squeezing in with us, would you Sera?"
Sera dabbed at the corner of her eyes with a tissue and hiccoughed another repressed sob.
"There's not enough space," I told him hopelessly. "Besides, I can always go back and sit with my friends."
Jesse's chocolate brown eyes looked up at me dejectedly, before he made the decision to get up.
"In that case, I will come with you instead."
"What? No, it's fine. Honestly," I said, thinking of Jesse having to sit with the Marauders.
"I don't mind," he insisted. "Besides, it is the last time we will see one another in days. I want to spend the journey with you."
.o.
After I'd had no other option but to relent, Jesse and I said bye to his friends and made our way further down the train towards the back, where I'd seen Sirius heading for earlier. I couldn't believe I was actually letting it happen.
We ended up hearing them all before we could see them; in particular Sirius's barking laugh.
I physically winced.
"Are you ready for this?" I asked Jesse in trepidation.
He chuckled. "You make it sound like they are going to eat us alive."
With Jesse hanging back behind me, I decided to go in and scope it out first, just to double check there was actually space left for the both of us.
As soon as I opened the door, the laughter inside stopped.
"Chel," Lily said, surprised to see me. "Are you sitting with us after all?" Her expression turned pitying, "Did Jesse not turn up?"
Before I could answer, James spoke up from next to her. "Knew he'd stand you up," he said. He checked his watch, "How long did you wait for him?"
"Actually," I said, inwardly willing them to shut up, "We were wondering if there's space for two more?"
Cracking the door open more fully, I revealed Jesse standing next to me.
"Oh," Lily said, clearly embarrassed at what they'd been saying. "Yes, of course, that's fine. Isn't it?" she asked, looking pointedly at the rest of them.
"Of course," Remus said after a pause, and he, Dorcas, Marlene and Sally started to edge closer to the door leaving just enough space for us next to the window.
"Hi Jesse," Marlene purred as he went to sit in the now empty space next to her.
Jesse gave her an awkward smile and held his hand out to steady me as I sat down on his other side.
Honestly, she needed to be put on a leash. All because she wouldn't see her enemies-with-benefits love slave Mike for the next few weeks.
I settled into my new seat, which, although snug, was infinitely more spacious than the previous one.
Having been more focused on getting in without falling, it was only then that I really realised who was seated directly opposite me.
I glanced up at Sirius in front of me, but he was just looking out of the window as if nothing had happened, not even bothering to say hello.
With limited floor space, my legs had no choice but to slot inside of his wide-apart ones, but again this intimate proximity wasn't something he seemed to have even noticed, still just staring lazily out of the window.
I peered out at the flickering of yellow crops and green pastures in the distance.
With the scenery all blurring into one, I shifted my attention to the reflections in the window instead. I could see the faded image of Lily, James and Peter, all sat on the opposite side behind me.
But when my careless surveyance moved along the window a bit further, I felt my breath hitch as it met with a pair of reflected eyes focused on mine.
It was just like the first day of term.
I looked away from Sirius's reflection as quickly as possible.
How long had he been looking at me like that without me even knowing it?
When I felt someone shift in my periphery, I tried to calm my pulse, turning around to find Jesse peering between us.
"Everything okay?" he muttered, his chocolate eyes asking me for the truth.
"It's fine," I replied, trying my best to smile at him.
I was grateful when Sirius didn't make any sort of eye contact with me, reflected or otherwise, for the rest of our trip.
The longest hours of my life passed and eventually the train started to slow to a halt. I released my breath in relief at the sight of Platform 9 3/4 gradually appearing in front of us.
When the train stopped we all got up at once, glad to be able to move our limbs. Sirius waited at the back while the rest of us disembarked.
.o.
"I'm going to miss my girlies," Lily said sadly, looking around at us all as we stood on the platform ready to go our separate ways for the holidays. She glanced up at James, "I might even miss you," she said, giving him a mischievous grin.
He pulled her to him, pressing the front of their bodies together and arching an eyebrow. "Might?"
"Okay fine," she said, winding her arms up and around his neck, "I'm going to miss you a lot. Happy?"
"Very," he replied, before bringing his face down to hers.
"So you two are allowed to do PDA but Mike and I aren't?" Marlene said insolently.
James spoke without looking at her, "That's because the idea of you and Mike is enough to give anyone nightmares," he said, "And Lily and I are adorable."
Remus pretended to clear his throat, "Cough –Deluded- cough."
Lily gave a tinkling laugh and James grinned at her fondly. "Do you have to go home for Christmas?" he asked her. "Can't you come and stay at my parents instead? I'm sure they'd love to have you."
"Ever heard the expression two's company, three's a crowd, mate?" Sirius cut in. "I'm not playing gooseberry to you two all Christmas."
"You wouldn't need to," James replied with a grin, "You could just bring along-"
He stopped himself right before he could say the last word but still glanced up at me sheepishly.
I glared at him harder than I had ever glared at anyone ever before. He had been about to say my name as a joke. Right in front of Jesse.
That was exactly the kind of thing that happened when people wouldn't just mind their own business and stop making assumptions.
I didn't dare to look up at Jesse to see if he had realised. Not after what had happened on the train.
"Right then, you lot," Lily said, breaking away from James, "Get those arms up and give me a hug."
She started with Remus, who went very pink indeed as she pulled him to her. She even gave a hug to Sirius, which was a really weird thing to witness considering they'd barely even touched hands before.
Sirius seemed to take it pretty well though. At least, a lot better than James did, seeing his handsome best friend so close to his girlfriend.
When Lily had finished hugging me, James walked forward in her place. "Come here, Chezza," he said warmly, "Lay it on us."
I stared at him blankly as he held his arms out towards me, beckoning me to him.
"Are you joking?" I asked, looking at Lily to see if she could shed any light on the situation.
James grinned and kept his arms open. "Think of it as my way of cementing our friendship," he said. "Leaving behind everything that's happened in the past."
Again I looked at Lily, but this time she just shrugged.
"Come on, Cheryl," he pressed earnestly, shocking me by actually using my proper name, "If not for me, then for the sake of Christmas spirit."
With everyone looking at me expectantly, I stepped tentatively towards him, extending my arms.
James's grin broadened, and he enveloped me in his long arms. "See, it wasn't that hard," he said, lifting his hand to lightly knuckle dust my head.
"Get off!" I exclaimed, unable to resist a laugh as I tried to smooth my hair back down.
Even Jesse was smiling again now, and it was made me feel good to see him looking happy again.
"Let's all get in on the action," Marlene said, and instantly began throwing her arms around everyone, Jesse included. Soon we were all hugging one another, unable to keep ourselves from laughing at the randomness of it all.
I hugged Sally, I hugged Remus. Hell, I even hugged Peter, which I knew must've meant I'd truly got over my phobia.
Even the boys had given one another very macho 'man-hugs' that consisted of one or two strong pats on the back and a muttering of good will.
The only one I hadn't hugged now was Sirius. In fact, I think we were the only two that hadn't hugged full stop.
Soon it became conspicuous in its absence, but it felt like we were both hoping nobody would pick up on it.
"Aren't you going to say goodbye to Mori?" Marlene said, putting an abrupt end to our hope.
She looked at Sirius expectantly, waiting for him to move.
"'Course," he replied easily.
It was as if time seemed to stop as he approached me, but there was nothing I could do, not without making even more of a scene.
I felt Jesse's presence keenly behind me as Sirius's grey eyes locked on mine, keeping me glued to the spot.
But when he got within reaching distance, instead of holding out two arms towards me, Sirius held out only one.
I looked down at the solitary long-fingered hand in front of me.
Reaching out slowly with mine, I accepted his hand shake.
"Happy Christmas, Morland," he said, maintaining my eye contact with an unexpected glimmer of sincerity.
I felt his hand increase the pressure on mine ever so briefly as a jolt of electricity seemed to pass through it.
When he pulled it away from me, his gaze went with it, moving instead to Jesse.
After shaking Jesse's hand firmly, Sirius stepped away from us.
"Satisfied?" he asked Marlene under his breath.
.o.
"Well that was strange," Jesse observed after all my friends had dispersed, leaving us alone together at last. "Don't you think that it was strange?" he asked again when I was too distracted to answer.
"Huh? Oh yeah. Really weird," I agreed.
"Has something happened between you and Sirius?" he asked, and my head darted up to him.
"No," I replied quickly. "What makes you say that?"
"It was almost as if the two of you were doing your best to avoid one another," he observed, glancing at me from the corner of his eye.
"We just don't always get on that well," I replied, feeling ashamed that he had noticed it.
I peered up at him again, trying to read his expression. His usually smiling face looked more sombre than I had ever seen it.
We both came to a stop before we could reach the wall that led through to the Muggle platforms, but Jesse could barely look at me now.
"I don't know what is worse," he said, "the fact that something is clearly going on between the two of you, or the way it makes me feel when you are lying to me about it."
It felt like I had been punched in the gut.
"I didn't tell you about it because it didn't mean anything," I said quietly, finding it hard to say it out loud.
At first he looked like he couldn't believe I had actually admitted it, and then he breathed a humourless laugh and I could see the sadness in his eyes.
"I have seen the signs for a while now," he shook his head, "I thought I was being paranoid...Why did you never tell me?"
"There was nothing to tell," I replied desperately. "Whatever happened between us is long finished. In fact it never even started. It was just a couple of stupid moments that we both agreed didn't mean anything."
Jesse's brow furrowed. "It has been more than once?" he asked, and I could've kicked myself for not just keeping my big mouth shut.
"Was it while we were together?" he questioned, searching my eyes now for the answer.
I thought about what had happened in the Owlery. Sirius and I had embraced, nothing else, but deep down I knew if I was being honest with myself it was more than that.
I had almost lost control. For a fraction of a second I had been ready to let him do whatever he had wanted to me. And I had wanted it so badly it had almost been a physical hurt.
When I didn't give an answer, the dent between Jesse's brows deepened.
"It was just a hug," I said, knowing how pathetic I sounded. "And we barely even talk anymore."
"Then why does he still look at you in the way that he does?" he asked.
I stared up at him, lost for words this time.
"And why did you look back at him in the same way just now?" he continued.
"I'm so sorry, Jesse," I said in a low voice, not knowing what else to say. "Please."
I wanted so badly to be the kind of girl who deserved someone like him. Positive and popular, just like his friends. But I knew no matter how hard I tried I would never live up to it.
"I cannot be with somebody who is in love with someone else," he said, "I am falling for you, Cheryl. It is not fair on either of us."
Hearing him talk about his feelings for me made my heart feel like it was about to shatter into irreparable shards.
He took a step towards me, "Tell me you don't feel anything for him," he said, his tone pleading now. "If you look me in the eye and tell me that, I will believe you and we can move on from this. We will at least be able to try."
But when I tried to force the words from my mouth they got stuck in my throat.
I clutched at it with my hand, desperately trying to confirm I felt nothing.
I couldn't do it. My conscience wouldn't let me.
Jesse waited, willing me to speak with as much silent verocity as I felt wanting to say it, but finally he had no choice but to nod.
I had given him his answer without even needing to speak.
"I suppose I should thank you for not lying to me," he said, and he took a definite step back.
We stared at one another for an extended second and I couldn't understand how it had come to this. How it had all happened so quickly, and had ended in me letting the most loyal, kind, loving boy I had ever met walk away from me. Someone who had shown me how it felt like to be truly cared for and respected by the opposite sex when I'd thought it was impossible.
But there I was. And the worst part was I knew the damage between us was irreparable. And I had caused it.
"Merry Christmas, Cheryl," he said finally, with nothing else left to say.
My heart gave a final wrench as a moment later I found myself left standing all alone on the platform.
People passed me by, talking and laughing, all of them excited for Christmas and everything it would bring.
But I couldn't share in any of it anymore. I felt soul-less.
I needed to get out of there.
I needed my mum.