Pepper woke up on Saturday and she felt like she wanted to die. She had hoped last night was some bad dream, but it wasn't. She looked at her phone and she had thirty missed calls from Tony and seven voicemails. She also had sixteen text messages. She listened to them one by one and she cried violently. She missed him so much and she loved him deeply and he deserved an explanation but she was deeply ashamed. She was ashamed of what happened to her. She was ashamed that she abandoned a child because she couldn't bear to look at it after her attack. She was afraid now more than ever. When she blocked everything out, men she trusted were safe to sleep with like Mike and Tony but now that she remembered everything no men were safe. Because men could turn at any second. Men had the capabilities to violate, disrespect and overpower you just because they were turned on. They had the capability to only care about their pleasure and getting off. Sure she loved Tony and trusted Tony but it would only take one moment of pleasure for him to turn on her. It just now occurred to her what Amanda said "There's no risk of pregnancy and you'll always be safe with me," . That's why she was sick to her stomach. Subconsciously she remembered not being in a safe situation and getting pregnant, but Amanda was right. She was safe and she couldn't get her pregnant. That was exactly who she was going to see Amanda. Amanda could make her feel better. She had to pull herself together but she had to say something to Tony, he deserved some kind of explanation. She opened her phone and began to type into a text box.
Tony you deserve an explanation and I will give you one eventually, but please understand that this isn't anything you did. For now that's all I can say.
She hit send and went into the shower to make herself presentable.
An hour later she arrived at Amanda's place and knocked on the door abruptly. A sleepy Amandaopened the door immediately when she saw Pepper through the peephole.
"What are you doing here? I thought you were going to be with Tony from friday to monday morning and have this massive sex fest?" she said stepping aside so Pepper could enter.
"We're taking a break. I need some space. My cousin is here and staying with me and there's a lot of family drama there and I just need to take a step away for a bit," she explained.
" So why push Tony away? It seems like you need him now more than ever," Amanda said, pouring a cup of coffee and giving one to Pepper as well.
Pepper's phone buzzed and it was Tony again.
Pepper PLEASE! I need to see you. I just want to talk. I'm so worried about you. You don't have to tell me what was in the letter but please let me see you so I can see for myself that you're okay. I love you. T
Pepper sighed and put her phone back in her bag. She wanted to drive to his house so badly and tell him everything but she couldn't.
"So what are you up to today?" Pepper said trying to act as normal as possible and pretend she wasn't traumatized inside.
"I don't know. I was thinking of maybe calling Krystal, but I don't know. You know me, I don't want to seem too eager. You're welcome to hang out until I call her," Amanda said.
Pepper wanted to conduct an experiment in order to rehabilitate herself and she would use Amanda to do it even though it was wrong.
"Yeah I'll hang around for awhile. It's a shame Tony and I are on a break. He didn't even get to see all the lingerie I packed for the weekend," she said.
"Let me see them," Amanda said.
Pepper reached into her bag and pulled out a few pieces and showed them to Amanda.
"I meant show me how you look in them," Amanda said as she stared at Pepper.
Pepper blushed and grabbed a blue piece she thought Tony would love and retreated to the bathroom to change. It was a cobalt blue with a black lace trim around the cups and a matching thong. She came out and stood in front of Amanda. Amanda smiled and nodded.
"You're beautiful, but I can't figure out why you're here? You should be with Tony,"
"I'm here because I want you," Pepper said trying to push her lips to Amanda's.
Amanda was shocked at first and pushed Pepper away.
"Ginny I just told you I'm going to call Krystal. I like her," Amanda said.
"But you're not a couple and you said we could hook up again," Pepper said, going for her lips again.
"Stop it," Amanda said, pushing her away again.
"No. I want you," Pepper said again and Amanda was forced to slap her.
Pepper held her face in shock. She felt the hot sting on her cheek.
"You bitch," Pepper said angrily.
"Ginny I'm sorry but you wouldn't stop," she said.
Pepper took a minute to calm down and then she burst into tears and she couldn't stop.
"Ginny what's wrong? Are you ok?" Amanda said as her anger softened to concern.
"It's everything. I can't take this right now. I remembered why I left the band and that's the reason I left Tony and now I don't know how I'm going to avoid him at work and he deserves an explanation and I love him so much and what I was just going to do to you is disgusting and unforgivable. I need to leave. I need to go somewhere. I gotta disappear for awhile but I can't leave the company. Amanda what do I do?" Pepper said frantically between sobs.
"Ginny, slow down. Start at the beginning. What does leaving the band have to do with you leaving Tony? And why do you need to leave?"
"I wish I could tell you but I can't," she said.
"You can tell me anything," Amanda said as she rubbed Pepper's back gently.
Pepper squeezed her eyes shut tightly and she was the scared young girl again who was just violently raped by someone who was supposed to be helping her. She had to get this out. She had to tell someone now that it was in her brain non stop replaying like a residual haunting.
"The night I left the show so abruptly I literally felt trapped. I needed air. I had to get out. A few minutes before the show one of the roadies raped me in my dressing room. I tried to get it together so we could go on but I couldn't. I wanted to go on that summer tour so badly. It was my dream. I wanted to see how far we could go and if we'd make it but I was traumatized and I ran from it. I blocked it out of my mind all this time until I got a recent reminder on Friday and that just sent me over the edge. I relived the entire trauma of that year," Pepper explained.
"Oh Ginny I'm so sorry you went through something so traumatic. Why didn't you tell us? Or at least me? I could have helped you. You could have lived with me and my family," Amanda said as she hugged Pepper tightly.
"I was so ashamed and there were other things that followed that I can't tell you but it was the worst year of my life and I forced it out of my memory. Like it never existed. Dissociation they call it," Pepper explained.
"But there is no reason to hide from it now. There are people who love you Ginny. Me and Tony and Julia and Sam. I will help you get the help you need,"
"I can't go back to Tony. I don't want him to know and now I don't think I can be intimate with a man and Tony isn't going to want me if we can't have sex," she said as she sniffled. She hadn't even realized that she had been crying.
"I think you need to talk to him. He's not like that Ginny and you know that," she said quietly.
"I will eventually but I need to take care of some things. My cousin Dawn that I lived with after my parents died is staying with me. She's awful but I owe her. I get the feeling she's up to something and I need to deal with her first," Pepper said.
"I understand and FYI sleeping with girls won't erase what happened to you. I know it feels safer but it's not what you want. I'm a lesbian Ginny and I don't use strap ons. You wouldn't be happy hooking up with me. It wouldn't be long before you were missing the male parts," Amanda explained.
"I know. I'm sorry. I thought it would be therapeutic for me but it's not right to use you like that,"
"Well if you were healthy and in the right state of mind and it was just for fun I would tell you to use me anytime," Amanda said at an attempt to make Pepper smile and it worked.
"I have to go back and see my cousin,"
"How can I help?" Amanda asked.
"I'll know more after I talk to Dawn but if anything if I decide to get away for a while to refresh my mind I might need you to look after my cat Copper while I'm gone," she said.
"Of course," Amanda said.
"Thank you," Pepper said as she hugged her.
Pepper circled the parking lot of her apartment to check for Tony's car and she didn't see it so she parked the car and went inside without noticing the suspicious black van that was watching from the other side.
She put her keys on the table and when she looked up there was a man with a gun to her cousin's head and her wrists were tied together holding his finger up to his lips to silence her.
"One word and I will shoot her," he said.
Pepper was frozen in fear as he motioned for her to go into the living room. He threw Dawn down on the couch and forced Pepper into the couch by pointing the gun at her. He tied her wrists tightly and his partner who was the look out entered the apartment.
"You must be Ginny. I'm Rick. I'm sorry we had to meet under these circumstances," he said.
"What do you want? Why are you doing this?" Pepper said calmly.
This is the one time Pepper had wished that Tony had been there in the parking lot waiting for her.
"Your cousin here messed with my business and screwed me out of a million dollar payload because she wanted a "better life" for our baby and she ran away and didn't think I would find her. Since you're Iron Man's girlfriend you will get us the money back,"
"How am I going to do that?" Pepper asked.
"You're going to take it out of the bank and disappear with us. You have access to all of Tony Stark's bank accounts. Tonight we're going to disappear and Monday morning you're going to transfer the money,"
"You don't have to do this. I can call him and he will pay,"
"Call Tim and have him pull the car up," Rick said, ignoring Pepper.
"Rick please don't do this," Dawn said.
"We have to go now. Get up," he said pointing his gun at them.
"Wait please leave some food out for my cat," Pepper begged.
"Fill up the cats bowl and meet us in the car," he said to his partner while he made them go down the stairs into the back of a black van.
The other man from the apartment joined them and they drove off and Pepper watched as her apartment faded into the distance.
Tony went against Pepper's wishes after calling her several times and he pulled into the parking lot of her apartment and he was relieved to see her car there. He knocked on the door and waited for her to answer but there was no response. He looked in the window and everything looked perfectly still except her cat who was drinking water. He went to the bedroom window and that was even more untouched. Her bed had not been slept in. He knocked again wondering if maybe her cousin was home.
"Dawn if you're in there it's me Tony. I'm looking for Pepper," he said but he was only met with complete silence. It appeared she wasn't home either.
He took a deep breath and tried not to panic.
Maybe they went out with friends and they got picked up. I'm just going to go home and try her again tomorrow. I love her and she's clearly distressed so I'm going to give her her space.