Prompt: Could you possibly do a hayffie OS using the quote ' my cigarettes are better for me than you are ?' I just think it fits hayffie really well ❤️

How To Stop Smoking: The Abernathy Method

Dealing with both Effie and Katniss was extremely difficult.

Haymitch had lost count of the numbers of arguments the two had on that Tour. Effie was trying to be nice, she was – and he didn't doubt she loved the girl – but she didn't always word it the best way and Katniss constantly took it as a personal offense. On some level, Haymitch could relate. Effie annoyed him too, even angered him sometimes, but he also understood her aloofness was mostly a necessary act. Now more than ever. And he wasn't about to ask her to drop it to coddle the girl's sensitivities.

When a new argument blew out at the dinner table – something about how Effie would kill to get on a very elusive magazine the star-crossed lovers had apparently starred in previous to the Tour, a term that had deeply upset Katniss – Haymitch remained silent, letting it play out. They had been on that train for two weeks already and they were all more or less used to those intermissions. Cinna and Portia didn't get involved either. Peeta tried to cut in a few times and then crossed his arms and waited for the storm to pass.

There was something deeply unsettling in watching them argue over a dish of roasted chicken, somehow.

The girl's words were full of anger – she wasn't angry with Effie, Haymitch thought, but she was too oblivious to realize that – and Effie was quickly losing her own temper.

"Okay." he eventually snapped. "Unless you two are planning on jumping in a puddle of mud any time soon and make it entertaining for the rest of us, let's drop the cat fight, yeah?"

"Why are you always taking her side?" Katniss hissed, suddenly glaring at him.

Effie scoffed. "Taking my side? When has Haymitch ever taken my side over yours?"

"All the damn time!" the girl exploded. "It's always 'apologize to Effie' thisand 'you hurt Effie's feelings' that…" She glared at them both in turns. "She's the one who's insensitive and always say horrible things! Why can't you back me up for once?"

"Language." Their escort clucked their tongue. "No lady should…"

"I'm not a lady, I'm a victor." Katniss cut her off. "That's the important thing about me, right? I'm your victor and I can get you more special interviews?"

The venom in the girl's voice wasn't totally unjustified. Effie had been bragging a bit too much for his tastes too.

"Enough, Katniss." Effie scowled. "I am older than you and you owe me respect."

Haymitch automatically scoffed and, when everyone looked at him – Cinna, Portia and Peeta with winces as if they couldn't believe he had been stupid enough to get in the middle – he made a face. "Respect isn't owed. It's earned."

"Oh, I see." Effie deadpanned. "So, it is absolutely normal for me to be verbally abused by a sixteen years old, then."

"Well, you did reap her sister… She wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you." he snorted. He had intended it as a small joke, as a you made your bed, now lie in it kind of comment. She didn't understood it that way.

She flinched and then glanced at Katniss, suddenly a lot calmer in appearance. When she talked, her voice was cheerful and the smile on her lips was so fake it almost made him want to scream.

"He never takes my side, Katniss." she declared slowly. "When he asks you to apologize, it has nothing to do with concern about me being upset and everything to do about his peace of mind. He does not want me ranting to him about your atrocious manners." The smile grew even more dazzling. "Understand, I only seek to help you, no matter how you perceive my intentions to be."

"We know that, Effie." Peeta promised softly. "You're just more… fabulous than people we're used to, that's all."

It was an out, their escort jumped upon with a grateful – and graceful – wave of her hand. "Naturally. I do not suppose you see many people as refined as me in your District. Cinna, dear, would you pass the salad?"

And, just like that, everyone got back to their dinner, the argument forgotten for an insipid but safe conversation about the weather and the schedule for their arrival in Ten the next day. When he was certain nobody was paying attention, he discreetly moved his hand closer to where hers was resting on the tablecloth but, when his little finger brushed against hers, she snatched it away to apparently fold her napkin. He didn't even get a glance.

Once they were all done with their desserts, Portia suggested drinks in the living-room car and everyone stood up. Haymitch lingered, catching Effie's wrist before she could follow the others out. She glared at him but, as he had anticipated, didn't make a scene.

"How did it go from you arguing with the girl to me being in the doghouse?" he sneered.

"I will let you figure that out by yourself." she retorted, shrugging his grip off. "I am not paid to think, after all – simply to reap children."

She left him standing there like an idiot.

He let out a long deep irritated sigh.

She could be such a bitch.

He caught up with her easily enough.

"You do reap kids." he pointed out, which warranted him another glare. He rolled his eyes. "I didn't mean it like that. I was just trying to get you two to fucking stop."

"What goes for Katniss goes for you. Do try to mind your language." she commented in a casual voice. "She follows your example a bit too much to my liking when it comes to abusing me. I do not need her to curse like a fishmonger on top of it."

The door to the living-room car was in sight. He pushed her against the wall, pinning her there with the ease of habits, his thumbs drawing distracted circles over the sparkly fabric on her waist.

"Abusing you?" he scoffed, more amused than offended. She gave as good as she got. They may not have the healthiest friendship – affair – but abusing had never been a term for it. He leaned in to nuzzle her neck, breathing her musky perfume. She had at least ten different flagrances but this one was his favorite. It was heavy and musky and it reminded him of sex. "That's what you want, sweetheart? For me to… abuse you?"

"Be sensible. Anyone could come out of that room at any moment." she protested, pushing on his shoulders. It wasn't exactly the stop right now push though, more the we really shouldn't but I will let you do it anyway one.

"I think we still have a good ten minutes before they come looking." he smirked, inching her dress up. "Can do plenty in ten minutes."

Any chance she could have had of convincing him to, at least, retreat to a more secluded space died when he realized she had nothing on under that dress. He lifted his eyebrows and it was her turn to roll her eyes.

"I can't wear underwear under this dress." she told him as if he was stupid. "It would show."

"Lucky me." he mocked, dropping to his knees.

"Haymitch…" she hesitated but that ended up in a moan.

He looked up at her, eyes twinkling in mischief. "You're gonna have to be quieter, Princess, or they will come looking."

She shot him a brief glare but bit down on her bottom lip, tangling her fingers in his hair to force his head back against her crotch. Any other time, he would have freed himself and made her beg for it. Since he was too aware their friends were on the other side of the door and there was no telling when a train attendant would show up, he simply got to work.

It had been so long since they had started this… He knew how to work her up quickly and he knew how to make it good. It might now have been her best orgasm but it was good enough that she hissed his name in bliss. He stood up and sucked his fingers clean, not as oblivious to how hot she found it when he did that as he wanted her to believe. She was watching him, breathing fast and hard, her pupils blown…

Because he was nice, he tugged on her dress to make her look decent again before leaning in to steal a kiss. He pushed his tongue in her mouth and she moaned. Her hand brushed his groin but he broke the kiss to shake his head. "No time."

He barely had time to step back and take a few deep calming breaths before the door opened. Cinna stood there, his eyes darting from him to her, eyebrows lifted, and retreated inside the living-room car.

Effie followed, every bit the cheerful escort she ought to be.

Haymitch lingered in the corridor a little while longer, trying to get things under control, before stepping in the room and going straight for a glass of whiskey.

From then on, it was business as usual. Friendly banter, a lot of pretending things weren't as bad or difficult as they really were, a few back and forth snarky comments between him and his escort… He wasn't exactly surprised when she dragged him into her room once they all decided to call it a night.

He didn't immediately rush out of her bed afterwards either.

He had been a bit careless about that since the beginning of the Tour. He lingered in her bed, he slept there even sometimes… Things were shifting and it was the worse idea to give in to that but with everything else happening… It was hard to resist the few good things in life.

He watched her get out of bed and slip on her silk dressing gown, not at all bothered by the fact he was lying naked in her bed, exposed to her gaze. He liked the way her eyes roamed on his body, possessive and content in the knowledge he was hers to play with. He used to hate it but now… Now he found it… appealing.

She snatched something from her nightstand and crossed the room to open the window.

"You're not supposed to do that." he grumbled, immediately pulling sheets and blankets up on his body because the wind gushed inside. The speed the train was going, the windows were best left closed.

"There are a lot of things I am not supposed to do that I do anyway." she replied with obvious annoyance, wedging a cigarette between her lips. There was a flash of silver, a flame, and then she tossed her lighter on the nightstand.

She was still angry about earlier, then.

"Close the window and come back to bed." he insisted.

"Do not dare complain about the smell." she warned him, struggling to push the window closed. "And if it triggers any alarm, you will do the explaining."

He rolled his eyes but didn't try to stop her when she grabbed an empty bottle of lotion from her dressing table to use as an ashtray of sort. He didn't even complain when she sat down next to him, her back to the headboard, folding her long legs under the sheets to keep them warm.

"She's right, you know." he sighed, rolling on his side and propping himself up on his elbow. "I usually take your side."

"I remain unconvinced." she snapped, slowly blowing out smoke.

He hated it when she smoked.

He also hated how sexy she made it look.

He stole the cigarette from her hand and took a drag, simply because he didn't have any liquor on hand and he needed a derivative to a conversation that could become problematic. He didn't enjoy smoking much. He didn't find the relief in tobacco that he could find in liquor.

"Your cigarettes will kill you." he mumbled.

"My cigarettes are better for me than you are." she huffed without batting an eyelash.

"Yeah?" he teased. "So you'd take a cigarette over… Let's say… My mouth?"

"Are you offering to eat me out every time I crave a smoke?" she asked.

She reached for her cigarette but he moved his arm away.

"Well… You're only an occasional smoker, anyway, sweetheart, right?" he taunted. "'Cause you quitted so many fucking times…"

"It might become a lot less occasional if I can have your head between my thighs instead…" she grinned, apparently in a better mood.

He snorted and brought the cigarette to her mouth. When it closed around the bud, her lips brushed his fingers and he felt himself twitch.

"Put it out." he advised, tugging on her leg so he could settle between her thighs. "You're gonna light the sheets on fire."

When he closed his teeth on the soft skin under her belly button, she hurried to drop it in the empty bottle lotion.

He would solve her cigarette addiction yet.