2 – One month after the first letter…
Theodore,
I am unable to forgive myself for what I have done to you. I am torn apart between my duty, to protect my dear brother, and how much I miss you. It feels like someone is tearing my heart off my chest. I can feel the pain of losing you ever since: at day, while I'm gathering information about the civilization which did that to us, and at night, in my nightmares.
I should have expressed my feelings to you before. Had I known you would be leaving me one day, I would have taken better care of you. Being harassed by life is unbecoming of me, for I am not one who expresses his feelings easily. Also, I was born strong – like Father. But now I am forced to understand. I understand the pain of losing loved ones.
Isn't it ridiculous, though? I am the one who deliberately chose to let you go in my stead. Knowing this, I can't help but regret what is happening to us. I am sure, deep down, that I made the right decision. After all, you could not live by yourself – you've just turned five! I just wish I could make up for what I have done, but I can't just show up in London to check on you. That's so far away from our house that I doubt you will ever remember the tiny village you once lived in. Either way, I would just break my promise.
I'm stuck, Theodore. I'm all alone here. If it wasn't for the neighbors, coming at the house sometimes to see me, nobody would even know that I am still here. In truth, no one knows how I am feeling inside. They can talk to me as much as they want, that's all there is to it – they know nothing. I smile, but it's only a façade. I am merely a naive young boy hoping that writing down my thoughts about our loss will help me getting better. Will that ever happen? Only time will tell, I guess.
I pray for your safety. We shall meet again one day.
Your brother, Hershel