Chapter Two: Keeping Watch
By the time he recovers fully, two days later, he's had plenty of time to think. Unfortunately, the conundrum still remains.
Merlin is a sorcerer. The boy has saved his life, Arthur's life, and Camelot (if he's right about the griffin and the afanc) several times.
And he still...well, he still trips over stairs and stumbles into walls and takes far too long with even simple tasks. He's always running around with something. Arthur's breakfast. Arthur's armor. Arthur's bathwater. He acts just like a regular servant in that respect, if a slightly inept one.
He also helps clean Gaius's quarters, helps the old physician settle back in. He claps with everyone else when Gaius is reinstated and declared a freeman. Just shy of nobility.
He's slightly disrespectful at times, but only to Arthur and Gaius. Gaius...well, a boy and his father, or his mentor, might be expected to disagree. And in any case that is a matter for Gaius to handle.
Arthur...well, he's tempted to sack the boy for not showing proper respect for a prince. But it doesn't take long for him to realize that Arthur wouldn't be pleased. For whatever reason, he likes the boy's insolence. He mocks him and sometimes punishes him by putting him in the stocks or giving him extra chores or a drubbing in the sparring field, but he likes the boy nonetheless.
It reminds him of his own boyhood, when Gaius and Balinor treated him in much the same way. And even now, does he not let Gaius chide him at times? A privilege he would grant few others, and a familiarity he doesn't even permit his own heir and ward at times.
He still wants to have the boy arrested, tried for magic, and either exiled or executed. He...he can't seem to manage it though, because those niggling little thoughts are still in the back of his mind.
Is Merlin to be Gaius's successor, as Arthur is his heir? Wise to the ways of sorcery so that he can protect the kingdom from it?
He recalls years ago, when Balinor was still at court. All the magic Gaius has was magic he learned. But Balinor had a different sort of power, he recalls. A power he claimed was inborn and needed no training, except in control. And there is something familiar about the boy…
It would be beyond miraculous, almost preposterous, if Balinor's son came to the court that his father was exiled from. And yet, it might explain how the boy's mother knew Gaius if she once dwelt in the court as well. She would have to have been minor nobility or a servant, but still...they were all young men, their eyes led astray by a pretty figure in a skirt every now and then. Even Gaius, though you wouldn't know it to watch him now.
Regardless, he exiled Balinor because Balinor claimed his magic was something that could not be stifled or neglected, and he had no stomach for killing a friend. Suppose Balinor was telling the truth, and the boy Merlin has similar powers?
Gaius is the type of man who would endeavor to teach a child like that how to control his powers. It is not beyond the realm of possibility that Gaius seeks to teach his ward enough to chain the darkness within in a way that Balinor never learned.
He despises magic, but if Gaius thinks he can reform a sorcerer child into being a useful member of society…
And there is that minuscule chance that this is Balinor's child. Unlikely in the extreme, but Balinor claimed that his was a rare talent…
He would rather not have these thoughts. However, having them, he cannot quite ignore them. And even if he could…
He still owes the brat his life. And he still cares deeply for Gaius. He is a king, and it makes him a poor friend at times. He knows it, but that is the way things are. The way they have been since the beginning. Gaius understands that.
It takes time, but he finally comes to a decision. He will, out of gratitude for his life and as an apology for his misjudgment, give Gaius time to reform his ward. He will be watchful, but he will give the boy time to learn the lessons Gaius would teach him.
Any sign that Gaius has failed to teach his student properly, and both student and master will face his wrath. Gaius will be exiled, and without the care that he offered when he thought to dismiss him in favor of Edwin. Merlin will face the executioner, the fire, or the blade.
Until it is necessary, he will not reveal his knowledge to either of them. For now, it is a private thing, something that only he is aware of. At least, he thinks that is the case. Watching Arthur and his servant together, it does not seem that Arthur is aware of Merlin's hidden magic. He hasn't seen Morgana around the boy often enough to make a judgment of his ward either way.
Observing in silence will give him more time to see if there are others besides Gaius who know who and what Merlin is. If the reformation fails, he wants to know how far the contamination spreads before he strikes.
He wonders if Merlin will make another error, as he made when he countered Edwin's sorcery. That will cause a problem of a different sort. If there is any public outcry...if Merlin is discovered before his final judgment can be rendered in either case…
Well, he is king. If the accusation comes and there is clear proof of its truth, or no plausible way to deny what is spoken, then he will act accordingly. Private considerations or no. He has sworn a ban on sorcery, and while he might allow this one, tiny trial, when it is a clear-kept secret and not yet a festering taint of rebellion, if Merlin is unmasked he will act as king and fulfill his edict, no matter what Gaius and Arthur and anyone else might say about it.
He is the king. It is his duty to uphold the laws of the land, and none more firmly than the ones he himself has declared. In private and in secret, he might give himself some leeway, or give similar freedom to his children. But if Merlin's power becomes public knowledge, the boy will die. There will be no other option. And, if he is honest with himself, he will find it a great relief if that is the case.
He might be willing to indulge Gaius in this little experiment, but he doesn't like it at all, and if it weren't for the fact that Merlin saved his life and the honor code of knighthood demands a gesture of repayment, he might not be willing to be so indulgent.
Nonetheless, his judgment is made. For now, the boy may live.
He watches Arthur cross the courtyard, coming from the training lawn. Half his armor is still on. The other half is being carried by his manservant. A half-heard murmur rises up from the grounds, some sort of exasperated statement from the servant boy and a mocking response from his son. He can't hear the words, but he can see the way his son's face is alight with mischief and laughter and good-natured teasing.
His own countenance once looked that way. Long ago, when he had fewer cares and fewer burdens, and fewer causes to mourn. And Arthur…
He absolutely hates to admit it, even to himself, but Arthur has improved since Merlin became his servant. He speaks for himself more, and he has lost the edge of bitter arrogance that he used to have. He listens more attentively. And, though he is still hot-headed and foolish, sometimes to the point of exasperation, he is beginning to gain the glimmerings of something that might be wisdom someday.
There is something to be said for a companion one's own age who is not afraid to speak their mind, not afraid to look you in the eyes, even with the differences in rank and station, and call you on your folly. He knows it well. Did he not claim Morgana's maidservant from the town because she also had that rare lack of fear?
There is also something to be said for having a companion that can be trusted to keep your secrets or keep your counsel or offer their own in equal measure. He would rather that Arthur's apparent chosen companion was not a sorcerer. But they have already formed a rapport, and he knows well that if it is broken, especially from the outside, a new one will not be easily formed.
Arthur will bear a grudge if he takes the boy away without good reason. And sadly, the boy's ineptitude at times does not count. Not since he's ignored it thus far. And if he speaks of sorcery, Arthur will demand proof. Without such proof, trying to remove Merlin will likely ignite a full-fledged conflict between them, as close to rebellion as either of them can get without coming to blows.
Just as well he's already decided to wait and watch for now.
The two young men disappear inside, and he turns from the window, frowning at the slight pang in his chest. Not physical pain, but an old wound of grief. For now that he has considered the notion, Merlin does bear some resemblance to Balinor.
Superficial. Maybe not even real. He probably only sees it because they are from the same region, or because he is looking for it. Nevertheless, he closes his eyes, and for a moment he does not see Arthur and his servant. He sees three other young men, a tow-headed youth in royal colors, a skinny dark-haired boy in simple garments, and another youth in the robes of an apprentice healer and sorcerer.
They're laughing together. Speaking of little things, little nothings, teasing each other as they return from the practice fields to the Castle, where Gaius and Balinor will return to lessons in their powers and he will go to his lessons in governance.
He opens his eyes and banishes the memory, and the images. It was a long time ago. But it does remind him of something.
His father used to arrange small tests, to see how well he was learning. Gaius's teacher was often inclined to do similar things.
He himself sometimes plans small tests to see how Arthur is growing into his royal responsibilities, into his combat skills, and his learning in the management of a kingdom. And sometimes he allows tests that he hasn't planned, if the situations allow.
Perhaps it is time to sort out what tests he might devise for Merlin, to test his worth as Arthur's servant and companion. And to test how well Gaius's lessons, and his potential reformation, are taking hold. And if the boy should fail in his tests of restraint or his tests of character…
Well then, he'll have the reasons he needs to do what needs to be done, one way or the other. Even if Merlin's magic is not revealed, a failing great enough might warrant ejecting him from Camelot proper, and that will be enough until he proves a greater threat and can be eliminated. And if he fails to prove such a threat and offer an excuse for his death, at least he will be away from Arthur.
He feels a small smile on his face. For all that he has made the decision to let the boy live and be taught, for now, he cannot deny his dislike of that plan. His is not a temperament suited to watching and waiting. Not in the least. Even record work and listening to petitions is easier. It soothes him to have a plan where he can do something, even if it is to nudge circumstances from the shadows and watch how they play out. Subtle is not his usual forte, but he likes it better than he likes doing nothing at all.
Yes. He will watch, and he will test the boy when the opportunity arises. And he will see how well Gaius's lessons and the boy's own behavior bears up.
Given the way things have been going, he's certain to have some opportunity to test the boy's mettle soon.
And given the number of near-lethal events that have happened in recent months, there is a great chance that even in succeeding, Merlin might be dealt a fatal blow. The poisoned chalice comes to mind. He couldn't fault the boy's loyalty, but if Arthur hadn't been so determined and Morgana willing to help him, the boy would have died then. And such an occurrence would solve the problem neatly, without his interference at all.
That would be ideal. He could pass it off as a servant loyally serving his master, let Gaius have the boy for burial. Gaius would mourn, but understand that these things happen. Arthur would be upset, but also understand that these things happen. Neither of them would fault him.
Not that he cares about that. He is king, and decisions must be made. But the crown is a heavy enough burden without his friend, adviser, and healer nursing anger toward him. Teaching Arthur to be a king worthy of the name is difficult enough without his son hating him over the life, or death, of a servant boy.
He turns back to his desk and sets the thoughts aside. There is a Council meeting soon, his second since his recovery. For better or worse, he has a strategy for dealing with Gaius's little project. He has a plan and contingency plans in place. That is enough for now.
He turns his attention to his reports, but his mind is quieter than it has been in days.
Author's Note: Originally intended 'King's Dilemma' to be a one-shot, but then the story kept unfolding, and Uther insisted on more time, so...well, who is going to argue with a king? Besides Gaius. And Arthur. And Morgana...