Prompt: "Given that Haymitch looked like a boy who was pulling on Effie's ponytail to catch her attention, Finnick wasn't sure he could really throw the proverbial first stone." could we get a fic where Haymitch is literally doing that with them as kids or teenagers? doesn't matter if Hunger Games AU or Modern AU. just want them as kids grating on each others nerves 'cause it's actually their first crush or something. (and maybe they meet again when they're older)
I'm willing to bribe with chocalate and cake. ;)

I made it fit in the youn hayffie hp verse for reasons ;)

An Invitation To Madam Puddifoot

History of Magic was the most boring class ever and Haymitch didn't think any of the third year stuck in that classroom with him would have disagreed. His only consolation was that the Slytherins shared that class with the Hufflepuffs so, at least, he wasn't suffering alone. His best friend sat right beside him and suffered with him, not something that was always possible given that they belonged to different Houses.

Unfortunately, Chaff was currently perfecting the art of napping with his eyes right open and wasn't offering much in order of distraction. On his other side, Johanna had given up on even pretending to be interested and had placed her head on her folded arms, clearly asleep.

Haymitch's eyes wandered around the room but there wasn't much to see aside from students just as bored as he was so it wasn't any wonder that his gaze ended back on the most interesting thing in the classroom. Which was saying something because it wasn't that interesting. There just wasn't many girls who dyed their hair bright colors every other week.

Euphemia Trinket, third year Hufflepuff, Pureblood if there ever was one, Effie for her friends, had always sported bright colored hair ever since he had known her. He could still remember watching her getting Sorted from the Slytherin table and praying she wouldn't get sent to the same House as him because she looked annoying. Who in their right mind dyed their hair purple for their first day at a magic school? Even for wizards that was extreme for an eleven year old.

It was dyed a soft shade of pale blue, that year, and it was currently tied in a high ponytail that kept swinging left and right every time she moved her head to whisper into her best friend's ear. The fact that she was sitting right in front of him was distracting. He watched the blue hair sway in front of him for a while, mesmerized for no other reason than the fact Binns' droning was sending him into a trance state that would probably have made the old Divination teacher very happy, until the movement and the incessant whispering started annoying him.

What was so fascinating that she couldn't shut up for five minutes? Her fellow Hufflepuff friend seemed riveted by the tale. Gossip, probably. She was that type of girls who lived for gossip. Shallow and superficial and rich… A typical aristocrat.

He kind of hated her for all that alone. His muggleborn roots and, above all, the misery he had grown up in couldn't forgive that.

He didn't really know why he did it. Maybe because he had been spending the last fifteen minutes thinking about her and that was fifteen minutes too long. Maybe because he wanted to see if her hair was as soft as it looked. Maybe because he was bored and that was the best distraction. Or maybe it was because her eyes always slid over him as if he wasn't standing there at all, dismissed before he had even opened his mouth – although he was very used to that, Muggleborns weren't exactly welcomed with open arms in Slytherin.

He grabbed the ponytail just as it swayed back into place when she lifted her head. He let go just as quickly.

Damn, but it was soft…

He was very aware that Chaff had snapped out of his nap and was staring at him with a small frown. He was also very aware that Trinket had turned around with a perfectly shaped eyebrow lifted in inquisition.

He ignored both of them and pretended to be transfixed by Binns' third rendition of whatever Goblin rebellion he was on about. He even took a few notes for good measure.

When it became apparent he wouldn't say anything, Trinket narrowed her eyes, pursed her lips and turned back around. Chaff leaned back in his chair and watched him, waiting for his next move, having apparently concluded that this was all a plan to have some fun. It wasn't like they weren't in a habit of pulling pranks after all.

He felt compelled to tug on her hair again five minutes later. Because Chaff was clearly waiting for him to keep up with the game and he couldn't explain to his best friend what had possessed him to touch her hair in the first place. His desire to know if it was soft didn't seem like a good enough reason.

This time, when she turned around, she didn't look inquisitive, she looked annoyed and not at all convinced by his innocent act. Still, she didn't say anything. She huffed, turned back around and combed her fingers through her blue hair. Her friend Livia was tossing him curious looks and, after he had scowled at her, huffed too and focused back on her notes.

A few minutes later, Livia whispered something in Trinket's ear and they both giggled as if it was the funniest thing ever. Somehow, Haymitch knew it was about him.

He was far less gentle when he tugged on her ponytail for the third time and she was far less amused when she whirled around. Her wand, he noticed, was now in her hand and he smirked because… What was she going to do? Hex him in the middle of a class?

The bell ensured he would never get the answer to that question. With a collective sigh of relief, everyone started packing up. Jo jumped in fright and then slammed her book in her bag, grumbling all the while about useless classes. Distracted both by her and Chaff's guesses as to what they would be served at lunch, he put his own things away.

But that was without counting with Euphemia Trinket who wouldn't be ignored. She planted herself in their path in the corridor.

"What is your problem, Abernathy?" she hissed.

The wand was gone, he noticed, and Livia was standing a few feet away, clearly there for moral support but not close enough that it really counted.

She had balls, he thought, to confront the three of them when they had something of a reputation for being troublemakers. Never mind the fact that two of them were Slytherins and most people still thought Slytherins were the devil incarnated.

"You know my name. I'm shocked." he snorted.

Jo was confused and frowning but Chaff rolled his eyes and made a dismissive gesture that probably meant Haymitch would handle the situation.

"Is this what it is about, then?" Trinket retorted with a touch of disdain that immediately had him on the defensive. "Ensuring I know your name? There are better ways to do that, you know. If you wish to ask me out to Hogsmeade, the proper way is to actually ask me and not tug on my pigtail like a child."

"Excuse me?" he half-scoffed, half-laughed. And maybe half-panicked too.

She pursed her lips and looked him up and down as if she was evaluating him. "You are quite good looking despite the pimples… Of course, Seneca already asked me to go to Madam Puddifoot's with him and he is a four year and he is also on the Quidditch team so you will understand why I cannot go with you this time but perhaps on the next Hogsmeade week-end I would consider it."

Seneca Crane was not only older, he was in Slytherin – so maybe she wasn't so prejudiced against his House – and such a pompous asshole, Haymitch avoided him at all costs.

As for the pimples… He struggled with the impulse to cover the red one on his forehead. His mother swore they would go away eventually. But maybe he should check the library just in case they had a spell that would…

He stopped himself right there. What was he even thinking? Who cared what he looked like? He certainly didn't. He wasn't like one of those stupid teenagers who only thought about looks. He was better than that.

"Oh…" Jo crooned in a voice that was full of laughter. "How adorable… Madam Puddifoot…"

"It is the best place for a date." Trinket agreed with a disapproving look for the other girl. "Not that you would know."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I think you're getting ideas…" he mocked, still smirking. "Ain't interested in taking you anywhere."

"Your grammar is atrocious." she snapped. "You would have to make an effort if you wish to court me."

"Court…" He started repeating the word only to choke on it, torn between amusement and fright. He resolutely ignored Chaff who was doing his best not to burst out laughing but was clearly struggling to keep it in. "I ain't courting you!"

"You called me sweetheart." she scowled.

"I call everyone sweetheart." he spat. "Even Jo. Everyone knows that."

"It's fucking annoying." Johanna complained. Not for the first time.

Trinket didn't like that one bit. She glared a bit. "You pulled on my hair."

"'Cause it's blue and ridiculous and it was right in my face." he scoffed. "Not 'cause I want to take you on a date."

Who even made that kind of leap? That was jumping to conclusions alright.

If glares could kill…

She placed her hands on her hips, pursed her lips tight and tilted her head to the side, staring him down as if he had murdered her whole family and her pet too. "You are insufferable."

"That's a five syllables word. Careful, you're gonna give yourself a brain sprain." he taunted.

"I am surprised you know a five syllables word." she retorted without missing a beat. "In fact, you are such a stupid boy I am quite shocked you can read at all."

She turned on her heels and stormed away, grabbing her friend's arm on the way, leaving him to stand there, fishing for a comeback that was too late in coming. Oh, but he hated when he didn't get the last word…

The moment the two Hufflepuff girls had disappeared around the corner, Chaff finally roared with laughter. Johanna snickered with a little bit more dignity.

Haymitch chose to walk forward and leave them there to have it out.

Except his friends were more difficult than that to shake off and it wasn't long before they were right back on either side of him, quickening their pace to keep up with his long strides.

"So? Madam Puddifoot… Big fan of tea parlors, yeah?" Jo mocked mercilessly.

"Should have said you had your eyes on Trinket, buddy…" Chaff added, still laughing. "I'd have scooted ahead for you…"

"I don't have my eyes on Trinket and I fucking hate tea." he snapped, glaring at both of his friends in turn.

"Sure didn't look like that when you were petting her hair…" his best friend chuckled.

Haymitch rolled his eyes but he knew he would never hear the end of it.

That would keep them going until June probably.