Over the course of his first two weeks staying at Izuku's house, Shouto began to notice a few patterns in the behaviour of the three humans.
Shouto had been finding it difficult to settle into a normal routine with his sleeping. This was somewhat due to the fact that he was still unused to the sensation of lying on a solid surface and the texture of the materials supporting his head and covering his body. However, his sleep was also hindered by the fact that he couldn't switch off his thoughts. Most nights, once he'd finally managed to settle, he was jolted awake again in the early hours of the morning by unpleasant dreams.
They were all memories of events he would rather forget, incidents that took place when he lived in more hostile environments. He always found himself believing that he was still trapped somewhere else for a few minutes after waking. Only after repeating to himself that he wasn't there anymore and that he was safe now was he able to calm down. Afterwards, he would not be able to fall asleep again no matter how hard he tried. So he had started going to the kitchen to get himself something to drink instead.
At first, he had done this because he found that his throat was irritatingly dry after being woken up in such a distressing manner, but it eventually became something that comforted him. Seeing the rest of the house provided evidence that he was no longer with either of the people who caused the bad memories. The act of finding a cup and making himself a drink gave him something else to focus on.
Thanks to this new habit, he was often the first person downstairs, so he was there to witness and observe the humans going about their day.
In the mornings, Izuku and Ochako would sleepily stumble into the kitchen dressed in whatever they slept in, their hair messy and their eyes still not fully alert. They would work around each other to make breakfast, only breaking the silence to ask the other to pass them something. Tenya would either be upstairs sleeping or already at work depending on what shift he'd taken.
The three of them seemed to work very hard, Shouto had noticed. A couple of times in the evenings, he would come back from taking a shower or hanging out with the dogs in what he now knew was called "the garden" to find one or more of them slumped on the living room furniture, unsuccessfully attempting to massage their own aching limbs. Later, after someone had summoned the energy to make dinner, they would sit at the table to eat together and talk about the challenges that they had faced during the day.
"I just wish Karen would just let us do our jobs and stop dragging out every single PTA meeting for hours to criticise as many of the schools choices as possible," a very stressed out Ochako had complained on Thursday night as they sat around the dinner table.
"Today, she protested us closing down the school during summer break, when her kids won't even be there, to do some desperately needed construction work. I honestly don't get what her problem is, you would think the parents would be happy about us removing the asbestos from the walls to make it safer for their kids, but it's like she has an issue with everything we do, you know?" she questioned. Shouto didn't know, but he tried his best to offer her a sympathetic look and a nod like Tenya did. "Ugh! It's just so frustrating. Anyway, what about you guys?"
"My day was pretty much the same as usual," Tenya replied. "I caught some hooligans trying to deface the wall outside again. They've been spray painting different coloured penises on it in different places, all hidden from view of the car park. They aren't very smart about it because they still haven't figured out that the shopping center has security cameras everywhere yet."
Shouto could see an almost pained look on Ochako's face as she held back a laugh. It seemed like she truly did care about Tenya's feelings, but Shouto had discerned that she also had a little bit of an immature side that found some of the incidents in Tenya's stories highly amusing.
Usually Izuku had a similarly difficult time not finding the shenanigans that went down at Tenya's workplace humorous, but this time he had been strangely quiet, Shouto realised. It appeared that Izuku was a little down and tired that day. Shouto wondered what was wrong as he watched him stare down at his empty plate with a forlorn expression as he made patterns in the excess sauce with his fork.
Izuku seemed to have a very demanding job. He often came home tired, dragging his feet as he moved and leaning heavily against surfaces, yawning frequently. A few times, Katsuki had visited them in the evening and every time he had lectured Izuku and his friends on working too much. Izuku had argued that they had to work a lot more because they needed to make more money now that Katsuki wasn't there to split something called "the rent" with them.
Shouto didn't really understand a lot of it, but he could see that it was something that seemed to cause stress for the others. He couldn't shake the feeling that he could be doing something to make the situation better when he felt Katsuki glaring at him from across the room as they bickered about it. Katsuki would usually get annoyed and drag Izuku off somewhere to have a private discussion where Shouto couldn't overhear them. They would both return a little later, still frustrated, clearly having not made much progress in the argument.
Shouto had the distinct feeling that he was the subject of the secret conversations, but he couldn't tell if that was just him being paranoid about it. Nobody had said anything to indicate that he was doing something wrong. So he wasn't sure what Katsuki's problem was.
The only times Shouto had seen Izuku look as unhappy as he did that night were the times when Shouto said or did things that hinted at how unpleasant his past was. Shouto had come to the realisation that he didn't like seeing Izuku unhappy, something about it just didn't feel right. He wanted to try and find a way to help, but he had no idea how to or what was even bothering Izuku in the first place.
Tenya had continued to tell his story as Shouto deliberated on how to approach Izuku about whatever was bothering him. The spectacled man let out a sigh. "I'm starting to think that those vandals are just trying to antagonise me at this point. What other reason would they have for spray painting giant, multicoloured genitalia on the wall in a place where nobody is going to see it?" He stabbed a vegetable with his fork forcefully. "And the annoying thing is, it's working. I swear I've started seeing those poorly constructed phalluses in my dreams at this point."
Ochako finally gave in and let out a snicker at that last part, unable to hold out any longer. Tenya glared at her, but eventually rolled his eyes and tsked, turning his attention to Izuku instead.
"How was your day, Izuku?" he inquired. "You've been unusually quiet today."
Izuku continued to stare at his plate, like he hadn't even heard Tenya's question. His friends shared a concerned look between them.
Ochako reached out and gently tapped Izuku's arm. "Izuku?" She questioned.
Izuku flinched at the touch, clearly not expecting it. Then he seemed to realise that the attention was on him.
"Huh?" He replied.
"Tenya asked about your day," Ochako stated.
"Oh, um, it was… well… " Izuku faltered, as if he was searching his brain for an optimistic answer to give them and coming up short. Eventually, he set his fork down softly and exhaled defeatedly. "I've had better days."
"Are you ok?" Ochako asked apprehensively. "Do you wanna talk about it?"
Izuku's eyes started to take on a slightly more watery sheen. "I don't know if I can right now," he replied quietly, his voice strained.
"That's ok," Tenya assured him. "Just know that we care about you and we're here for you if you ever need to talk."
Ochako nodded in agreement.
"Thanks guys," Izuku sniffled, swiping his hand under his eyes to catch a few stray tears before they could fall. "I feel so stupid for crying like this. I knew what I was getting into when I took this job."
For some reason, seeing Izuku try to hold his tears in gave Shouto an unpleasant feeling in his stomach, or his chest, he wasn't entirely sure. He just knew that it didn't feel good. Izuku had done so much for Shouto, he didn't deserve unhappiness. Shouto wanted to make Izuku feel better, to give something back to him in return for all the nice things that he'd done, but he didn't know how. Human emotions were as much a mystery to Shouto as the vast depths of the ocean were to mankind.
"I don't think you're stupid," Shouto said, wanting to reassure Izuku like his friends had. "I think you're very kind and a little too trusting, but I've never thought that you were stupid."
Izuku paused, his eyes still looking a little watery and irritated, but no new tears joining the wet streaks of skin on his cheeks. Shouto could feel the stares of the other three occupants at the table as they bore into him and he panicked a little, beginning to question whether he had said something wrong. He wished that he could tell what they were thinking.
Human and mer culture were so different that he couldn't figure out what was offensive to humans and what wasn't. He hadn't cared so much about it when he was around his ex because his ex had known that he was a merman, but now it was like he was infiltrating a completely different society. All he knew was that he couldn't think like a merperson if he wanted to communicate well with the humans. So with that in mind he decided to do the last thing a merman would ever do for someone they had only known for about thirteen days.
He held up his plate a little in offering to the other man. "Do you want some more pasta?" he asked, trying his best not to cringe at how forward it felt like he was being.
Merpeople only ever shared their food with their children, partners or romantic interests that they were trying to pursue. To any mer outside of those three categories it would be seen as either an unwanted romantic advance or an insult, like the mer offering the food was trying to say that they didn't think them strong or clever enough to even catch their own. It seemed ok for friends and acquaintances to share food in the human world though, as they often cooked for each other, so hopefully his intentions would not be put under inspection.
Izuku stared at the food that Shouto had presented him with for a few seconds and then at Shouto, his expression unreadable. Shouto tensed in his seat, silently hoping that he hadn't gone against any human customs or overstepped any boundaries as he watched Izuku size up the offering, but he didn't back down.
Suddenly, Izuku let out a tearful chuckle. "Sure," he answered, lifting his plate. Shouto moved some of his food onto Izuku's plate with his fork awkwardly. "Thank you, Shouto," Izuku said sincerely, a fragile smile on his face.
Shouto turned back to what was left on his own plate, keeping his head down as they continued to eat in silence. He felt a strange, heated sensation in his face as he tried his best not to think about the implications of someone accepting food from him in the world that he had left behind.
A little later, Izuku and Shouto were sitting in the living room, watching the TV, a human invention that Shouto had found very informative throughout his stay. So far, he had learned quite a few things about human culture from it, like the concept of high fives and how a microwave worked.
Some things were a little lost on him. For example, he couldn't for the life of him figure out why humans were required to give people money in order to get something that they wanted. He had seen his ex do it before, but he couldn't grasp the significance of it, what was so special about the small slips of paper and round pieces of metal to make everyone want them so much.
Sometimes he had even seen people let someone hold a small plastic rectangle for a few seconds in order to get an item, that had been really confusing, because the person giving away the goods and services hadn't even gotten anything in return. When Shouto had asked his ex if humans were natural con artists, the man had laughed in his face, but to him it seemed like a reasonable enough question. For the most part though, watching TV shows had provided him with some interesting examples of human behaviour to study.
That night, Tenya and Ochako had excused themselves after dinner, sharing a look that was almost conspiratorial. Shouto tried to think nothing of it, they had probably just been feeling extra tired considering that it was almost the end of the week. So it was just Shouto and Izuku, watching some show about food together in silence.
Shouto didn't know the name of the show, but there was a blonde man on the screen yelling criticisms and insults at some overconfident novice chef who had done something to upset him. The angry man was oddly familiar.
"I'm pretty sure that man is related to Katsuki," Shouto mused.
A shout of laughter rang out from the man sitting next to him. "I tell Kacchan that he's like Gordon Ramsay all the time," Izuku grinned. "He hates it."
"They are very similar though," Shouto replied, Izuku's positive reaction encouraging him to push it further. "I could see him shouting "This is fucking raw!" at someone." He tried his best to change his voice to match the angry chef's and his efforts seemed to pay off as Izuku started cackling.
"That's exactly what I imagine he's like at work!" Izuku said between breaths as he tried to calm down and get some air in his lungs. "Like "Get this shitty excuse for a steak out of my sight!" or something." Izuku said, also attempting an impression.
"Fuck off out of my kitchen and take this pathetic salad with you!" Shouto mimicked playfully and for some reason he felt proud when Izuku collapsed into a fit of laughter.
"I wasn't expecting that," Izuku said a few moments later, wiping tears out of the corners of his eyes. "You're funny Shouto," he commented.
Shouto responded with a soft smile. Not really knowing how he should react to receiving a compliment. After that the conversation stopped, but the silence between them somehow felt more companionable than before.
As the minutes ticked by, Izuku seemed to be deep in thought, his smile faded into a more serious expression and it didn't seem like he was paying attention to the TV anymore. Shouto could swear he heard hushed mumbling a few times when there was a pause between people speaking on the program.
"Shouto?" Izuku asked eventually, reaching out for Shouto's attention with his voice. He sounded uncertain, like he didn't want to bother Shouto.
Shouto had already guessed that Izuku might want to speak what was on his mind eventually though, so it didn't come as a surprise to him. He turned his gaze from the screen to Izuku's face to show that he was ready to listen intently to whatever he had to say.
In the dark room, with the light from the television illuminating his features, Izuku looked softer than usual. There was something about Izuku that always looked pretty to Shouto, but now the lighting made him think about how he would look underwater with sunlight reflecting off the waves and rocks and casting different colours against his skin. The image that it created held a mysterious, ethereal kind of beauty and Shouto once again thought that it was almost like Izuku should have been born a merperson.
"Why do you think some people do such horrible things?" Izuku questioned, looking Shouto directly in the eyes, as if he would find the answer in their depths. "Do you think some people are just born evil?"
Shouto was hesitant to answer, not expecting Izuku to present him with such complex questions.
"I'm sorry, that was a lot to spring on you all of a sudden," Izuku apologised. "It's just, today, at work, we went to investigate the home of this man we'd received a ton of calls and emails about." Izuku explained. There was a far off look in his eyes, as if he was recalling something distressing, but Shouto decided not to interrupt him if he wanted to talk about it.
"It turned out that the guy had captured a bunch of wild animals, taken them away from their homes and families and was keeping them all in cramped cages and poor conditions. Apparently he had been training them to fight and posting videos of them hurting each other online."
An image of Shouto's father scowling as he forced him to attack someone flashed in Shouto's mind, followed by angry, disappointed eyes watching him from behind a pane of glass. Shouto took a deep breath and pushed the memories aside, reminding himself that Izuku was talking about something that had upset him and he needed to focus.
"A few of the animals needed urgent medical care and we were too late to save two of them," Izuku lamented. His voice croaked towards the end of his sentence and he took a short break to rub at his eyes and clear his throat. He pulled a pillow into his lap, hugging it against him for comfort as he continued.
"I just can't stop thinking about it," he admitted. "If we had known just a week sooner, we could have saved all of those animals, but he seemed so friendly that no one had suspected him of doing something like that until it was too late." Izuku picked at the edge of his pillow, a deep, troubled frown on his face. "I just don't understand how people like that can live with themselves. It's disgusting! Taking away the freedom of another living being and forcing them to do things against their will. How could anyone do something so heartless and cruel?"
Shouto's heart lurched and he quickly turned his face away. His eyes welled up with tears that he refused to allow to fall while Izuku was looking. He hated that he was experiencing a moment of weakness at a time when Izuku needed someone to be strong for him, but he couldn't help feeling like he'd been cheated. Why couldn't someone kind and caring like Izuku have been the first human to discover him? Maybe then he wouldn't have ended up being so unsure and afraid about so many things.
"Are you ok?" Izuku inquired.
Even without looking at Izuku, Shouto could almost see the concern in his big green eyes.
"I don't know why some people are like that," Shouto responded slowly, conflicted. On the one hand, the subject hit way too close to home for him and thinking about it still stung like a fresh wound digging deep into his chest. On the other hand, Izuku had inadvertently revealed that he was vehemently against the kind of treatment that Shouto had received from those who should have protected him.
It made him feel a little safer in his current surroundings to know that Izuku had such a negative stance on that abuse of power and trust. He had been beginning to think that things would be different this time and each day he could feel his confidence grow little by little. Shouto felt himself wanting to open up and divulge some information about his past, even if it might hurt him to dredge up the memories.
"I've been held against my will and forced to do things that I didn't want to do before," Shouto admitted, looking towards the TV, but not watching what was happening on the screen. He didn't know if he would be able to say these things if he could see Izuku's reaction.
"My father was…" he stopped to think of a way to phrase it without any allusion to merpeople or their culture, "...a fighter." His father's field of work was actually more like law enforcement, but Shouto wasn't entirely sure how similar their justice systems were so he went with a simpler job description. "Since I was about five years old, he tried to train me to surpass him. I didn't want to, but he didn't care. He would make me train and fight people and if I got hurt or I told him I didn't want to hurt someone, he would get angry and violent."
Shouto felt a sudden touch of warm skin against the back of his hand and he immediately stopped talking. He glanced down at his hand where it rested on the sofa next to him to see another, slightly more scarred hand covering it. His eyebrows raised, eyes widened in surprise and the muscles in his arm went stiff as a nervous jolt shot through him.
"I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that," Izuku said. He seemed mortified by his own actions and even though it was relatively dark in the room, Shouto could tell that his face held the same tinge of pink that it had when Shouto had been about to remove his clothes in the kitchen a week earlier. Although, his hand remained on top of Shouto's despite his apparent embarrassment. "It's just, you looked sad and I wanted to do something, but I didn't know what. I'm sorry, I know you don't like people touching you out of nowhere. I should have said something."
Izuku appeared to be just as lost as he was at knowing how to react when someone is upset. In a weird way, it gave Shouto a sense of reassurance to know that he wasn't the only one who struggled with it. Perhaps this was why, when Izuku went to retract his hand, Shouto took hold of it, squeezing it a little.
"Don't worry, it's ok," Shouto uttered softly, disregarding the traitorous rush of uncertainty following his actions and focusing instead on the comfort the touch provided. Izuku sent a small smile his way and squeezed back, dissolving any feelings of doubt Shouto had about whether he did the right thing.
Using Izuku's touch as an anchor, Shouto continued to tell as much of his story as he felt comfortable with. "My ex was also that type of person. I knew him for a long time before I moved in with him, but as soon as we started living together, I realised that he was acting differently. The first time I tried to leave, he wouldn't let me go," Shouto confessed. His brain tried to conjure up the memory of a row of various locks and bolts, but he abruptly brushed it aside and kept talking.
"I used to ask myself what I did wrong to deserve it. Out of three other siblings, I was my father's main target, so I thought that maybe there was something about me that was wrong. And I thought that it was my fault that my ex treated me the way he did because I had trusted him too easily and told him too much," Shouto disclosed.
Izuku had started running his thumb against the skin of his hand in a soothing motion as he waited and listened patiently for Shouto to finish.
"I never considered that it was the other people who were wrong and not me until very recently and now I don't really know how to feel about everything. It wasn't fair that those things happened to me and I feel like I should be angry or sad about it, but it feels kind of pointless now. I know that it won't change what happened and they will probably never think that their actions were wrong," Shouto said with a sigh.
"I think that they did what they did because they wanted power," he theorised, "but I don't know how they were able to do it without feeling bad about it. So I don't know if I'm the best person to answer your questions. I'm sorry that I can't be more helpful."
Izuku looked at him, perplexed. "You don't ever have to apologise for something like that, Shouto. We don't just keep you around because we think you'll be useful," he said with a frown, like the thought left a bad taste in his mouth. "I know that it's probably going to take some time, but we all like you and we just want you to feel comfortable and safe. What Tenya said earlier applies to you too. If you ever need to talk about anything, you can talk to me or the others, but we won't ever be upset with you if you don't want to. You're free to say as much or as little as you want."
"I haven't done anything to deserve your kindness," Shouto said, feeling the threat of tears again.
"You don't have to do anything to deserve it," Izuku explained. "Basic human decency shouldn't be a reward that you have to earn from someone."
For a while after that, the only things that could be heard were the constant ticking of a nearby clock and the sounds emitting from the television. Not that Shouto was able to concentrate on either while his mind raced with thoughts about his past, the person sitting next to him still holding his hand, and doubts over the information that he had revealed.
Izuku had insisted that it was alright to talk to him, but Shouto still found himself wondering whether he had overshared or talked too much about himself when the conversation had originally started over Izuku's concerns.
"For the record," Izuku's voice interrupted, "I think you're a kind person too." Shouto turned to look at him and instantly noticed how truly exhausted he looked, his head now leaning heavily against the back of the sofa. "You're also very strong and brave," he added, his eyes fighting to stay open and his voice slurring slightly. "Nnd pretty," he mumbled as his eyes closed and his body relaxed, his grip going slack around Shouto's hand as he fell into a peaceful sleep.
Shouto's face was burning after hearing that last word that slipped out of Izuku's mouth. He couldn't comprehend how anyone could think he was pretty in his human form, when he no longer had his striking tail and more mer-like features. The only things about him that stood out in this form were his unusually coloured hair, and the ugly scar on his face. He knew that he was nothing special as a human, he'd been told as much several times.
Then again, Izuku had been on the verge of sleep and probably wasn't even aware of what he was saying, so Shouto decided not to place any significance on it.
Shouto carefully slid his hand out of Izuku's, trying his best not to alert him to his movements. He didn't want to wake him up when it was clear that he needed rest. Reaching for the remote, he pressed the button to turn off the TV, then quietly placed it back down and slowly and cautiously stood up from the sofa.
He frowned as he glanced down at Izuku, thinking that the sofa probably wasn't the most comfortable place for him to sleep, but not wanting to disturb him. There didn't really seem to be a solution to the problem that didn't involve doing something that would risk waking him up though. The woolen blanket draped over the back of the sofa caught Shouto's eye and he concluded that making sure Izuku wouldn't get cold would have to suffice.
Shouto lifted the blanket, unfolded it and gently placed it over Izuku, trying his best to tuck it in enough that it wouldn't fall off him in the night. Izuku sighed in his sleep and Shouto froze, his eyes wide, not wanting to be caught doing something that could be interpreted as affectionate. He was starting to care about Izuku, but he didn't want to reveal that to anyone else, especially not Izuku himself.
When he was finished, he made his way out of the room and upstairs as stealthily as possible.
Sleep didn't come easy to Shouto that night, he ended up laying awake for a while, staring at the moon and the stars through his curtains and thinking about everything that had changed since Izuku offered him a place to stay. It was strange, feeling safe after sending so much of his life in fear, he didn't quite know what to do with himself when he no longer needed to walk on eggshells around anyone.
Sure, he was still harbouring a pretty huge secret, so he still had to keep his guard up in some respects. However, now that he didn't have to spend his days considering which actions and words would ensure his survival, there was so much more room to think about pretty much everything else.
That night he thought about how kind these humans had been to him and how troubled they seemed to be lately. They were always either working or fatigued from working, but they never seemed to expect or request anything from Shouto. He knew that they had probably decided to give him time to settle in, but he felt guilty knowing that their schedules were so chaotic or busy when his days didn't consist of much activity. He was starting to become a little restless and he found himself longing to do something more with his time to help ease some of the other humans' stress.
As he finally drifted off to sleep that night, he did so with the resolution that he was going to do something nice for them.
That was how Shouto found himself in the kitchen the next afternoon, his sleeves rolled up, his hands freshly washed and an array of pots, pans, utensils and ingredients out on the counters around him.