It was like flying.
Bane's beam of magic pulled them both up the elevator shaft at such breakneck speed that Alec felt wind slapping against his face. He clung to Bane's front like a koala bear to a tree. Had there been even a second to think amidst the chaos, he might have been embarrassed by his intimate proximity to the warlock's body. He might even have been disappointed that it wasn't Magnus that he held onto. But there wasn't time to dwell on such things.
The elevator cabin they escaped from moments earlier now plummeted in the darkness far below, chains and cords chewed apart by a now-banished demon. Seconds later, it smashed to pieces at the building's rock-bottom in a thunderous clash of screeching metal. The booming sound echoed up the passageway, loud enough to make Alec's ears ring.
Bane tightened his one-armed grip around Alec and forced another pop of magic through his free hand. It flew out above them, an angry fireball gaining speed as it raced to the top of the shaft. Until it hit the ceiling and exploded, effectively blasting the rooftop hatch wide open. Their exit.
The air whipping around them turned fresh and cold as they shot through the narrow opening. They were flung out of the ceiling hatch and up into the night sky, as if the building had just spit them out.
Though now free from the elevator shaft, they were still tethered to that potent cord of magic streaming out of Bane's palm. It slowed down, but it didn't stop. Like a balloon softly lifting them into the sky.
Bane keened in frustration as he wrangled the magic with fading strength.
He had thrown everything he had into stalling the elevator's collapse and creating their escape. Now, he needed just enough energy to control the magic he'd already unleashed. To steer it away from the powerful bolt tugging them skyward and instead direct it into a soft landing on the roof below.
But the dancing whip of magic was more powerful than he was now. He didn't have enough strength left.
"I can't control it anymore," Bane said in a defeated rush of breath as they dangled tens of feet above the rooftop.
Alec at once understood there was no safe way back down, and they were only drifting further into the sky. Bane couldn't convert the magic already released; all he could do was to let go of it.
"Then let's jump before we get any higher." Alec looked down, preparing mentally for the fall. Without warning, he released one of his arms from around Bane's chest, an action that startled the warlock, who reacted by gripping Alec closer against his chest.
"I just need my stele," Alec said as he slipped it out of his pocket while still clinging on to Bane with his other arm. Without hesitation, he activated his sure-footed rune. "Okay. Ready."
Bane nodded. "This might hurt," he warned through gritted teeth. Obviously. He let his extended arm fall limply to his side, at once cutting his connection to the magic stream. Orange sparks fizzled out around his hand. The cord of magic flashed once above them, brightly, before it abruptly dissipated into thin air.
The magic was severed from Bane now, and gravity took over.
With nothing more to hold them up, Alec and Bane's bodies plunged back to the roof below. As they plummeted, Alec swiftly maneuvered the warlock into his arms. He scooped him up and prepared for the landing. Bane grunted in surprise but couldn't do much but hold on as they dropped.
Even as the cold night air rushed past, that dreadful freefall felt like slow motion. At least until the moment of impact. When they slammed into the rooftop, everything became a sped-up blur of black sky and gray cement.
Even with the sure-footed rune, the fall's height was too great for Alec to manage a perfect landing. The brunt of impact caused Bane to spill out of Alec's arms and tumble like a ragdoll over the concrete. Alec himself stumbled into a somersault before his body rolled to a stop.
Finally, they were still.
No more flying, no more falling.
Alec could only lie there, dazed and catching his breath. He watched Bane a few yards away struggling to get up on his hands and knees.
Seconds passed. Maybe minutes. Alec wasn't sure. Awareness returned only when Bane shouted his name.
"Alec!" The warlock stumbled over. "Are you all right?"
The concern in Bane's husky voice made Alec curious. He sat up just as the warlock fell to his knees beside him.
"How badly are you injured?" Bane asked in the same worried tone. His ring-laden fingers squeezed Alec's shoulders.
The gesture was open and compassionate, warm even. Uncharacteristic enough to make Alec wonder who was really with him there on the roof.
"Magnus?" He couldn't help but ask.
Alec realized his mistake at once. The other man's gentle expression flickered away, replaced by one pained and crestfallen. His eyes suddenly hardened, and his jaw clenched in a way that made it clear to Alec that this was still very much Bane.
"I-I'm sorry," Alec said quickly.
The damage was already done, though. Bane's face slipped into an unreadable mask, and he ripped his hands away from Alec, as if recoiling from flame.
"Are you hurt?" Bane asked again, this time in an angry shout.
Alec's ankle throbbed dully, but he was fine other than that and a few scrapes. He retrieved his stele, this time to activate his Iratze. "I'm okay... Are you?"
"I'll live." He brushed his shirt off and stood up. As he did so, his body teetered to the side in the slightest way, just enough for Alec to notice.
As Alec got to his feet, he lamented over how off track the night had gone in just a few short minutes. Instead of in a ballroom with Magnus, he was on the top of a Brooklyn skyscraper with Bane. He couldn't stop the swell of sadness when he thought back to how excited Magnus had been to attend the party. Now, he wouldn't get to.
"Where are we?" Bane cut through his thoughts. His voice was cold again, as icy as the withering night's wind gusting around them.
"Lacuna. We're here for Lorenzo's warlock party."
"But that's not until…." Bane trailed off, his eyes darting from one invisible thought to another, trying to work something out in his head.
"Bane…" Alec said after a few moments.
"… I … I seem to have lost some time," Bane admitted. His gaze fell to the cement.
Alec stepped closer. "What do you remember?"
Bane stepped further away. "Pandemonium. Vaguely… I was with you, but I forget everything else."
"You were drugged somehow and soon after, demons attacked the nightclub. Catarina took us back to your place."
He nodded curtly and crossed his arms over his chest. "And here we are, after another demon attack… Some bodyguard I have," he said flippantly.
Alec shrugged, recognizing the warlock's jab as a defense mechanism. It was easier to act angry than to admit hurt. He understood that. "Hey, I wasn't the one in favor of coming tonight."
Granted, it wasn't Bane's idea either. Alec's thoughts landed on Magnus again, and his chest fluttered. He wanted to see more of the coy warlock and his dreamy smile.
The attention-catching cough Bane made startled the grin right off Alec's face.
"I don't want to spend the entire night up here. What floor is Rey's party on?"
"We shouldn't go. There could be another attack."
"We won't be alone. I think a room full of warlocks can handle it. Besides, we wouldn't want to miss an opportunity to show off that outfit. I didn't think you owned a suit."
"No, Bane. We need to get back to the loft, and I need to report back to my father. We can't think the demon attacks are a coincidence any longer. They're somehow connected to your magic issues."
Bane grimaced. "Don't mind then, if I take my issues … and attend the event on my own." He spun away to find a door back into the building but stopped rigidly when he felt Alec's hand grab him. He looked down at the pale hand on his wrist and then up, glaring at Alec like he hoped he would spontaneously combust.
Alec didn't blink or falter at the harsh scowl Bane had him pinned under. He defiantly tightened his grasp on the warlock's wrist.
"Do not test me, Lightwood. I am in the mood to dissolve something, and I have just enough magic left to do it."
Face-to-face, the two men fell into a staring contest, each daring the other to back down, yet neither budged. In those moments, their anger mixed with … something else. They hadn't made eye contact before. Not like this.
Bane wanted to continue shooting daggers at Alec, this Shadowhunter who had stepped over the line he'd drawn around himself. Bane didn't invite him in. He didn't ask for any of this. But Alec was there anyway, and he stared at him in a way no one ever had before, like he saw something more than heartache and endless winter in him. Like he saw through his carefully assembled mask. It was the first thing in decades that made him feel hope, and it was terrifying. He wanted it to stop.
Both men's breathing accelerated as they did nothing but stand there, a mere foot apart from each other.
Alec could see so much in Bane's dark eyes when he was allowed the chance to look closely enough. A world of sadness peeked out from the shroud of intense anger. A stubborn sense of hope was there too, almost pleading for something. What that something was, Alec didn't know yet, but oh how he was intrigued by it.
Soon, Bane's anger returned in full force and washed over everything. His glare was like fire now, and Alec felt burned just by looking at it. Bane was fragile. But not fragile like a dainty dandelion puff. Fragile like a ticking bomb.
Alec decided the warlock wouldn't give in, and he didn't want to be what set him off. With a heavy sigh, he pushed Bane's hand out of his grasp.
Bane straightened his shoulders victoriously, but a troubled look had dashed across his features when Alec let him go.
"We will be quick," Bane offered, sensing the Shadowhunter's frustration.
Alec gave a perfunctory nod and followed him. Whether he was with Magnus or Bane, Alec was having a hard time saying no, even when he knew better. He vowed to work on that.
Bane raised his arm in front of Alec's chest to stop him from entering the ballroom. "We can't go in like this," he said and snapped his fingers before Alec could stop him.
A small mist of magic breezed over them, at once mending the fabric tears in their clothes and removing the smudges of dirt they received from their flight on the roof.
"We could have found Catarina to help with that," Alec said through gritted teeth. Bane merely shrugged before gesturing for Alec to enter.
The ballroom was extravagant. Crystal-dripping chandeliers hung from the eighteen-foot ceiling. Beneath, well over a hundred eclectically clad warlocks mingled about. Catarina appeared from a small group of them and walked over to them. She gently tugged along a little girl in a red tulle dress who clung to her side.
"Bane, Alec," Catarina said, looking at Bane wistfully while she greeted them. "Madzie, this is Alec. Bane's friend."
"Well, hello there," Alec said and smiled at the girl who moved to hide shyly behind Catarina's leg. Catarina looked like she was trying to figure out if it was Magnus or Bane who stood there with them.
"Bane is sparkly," Madzie said with a giggle as she peeked out from Catarina's skirt.
Judging by Madzie's comment and Catarina's wondering expression, Alec determined Bane's makeup regime tended to be much less glittery than what Magnus had chosen to wear that night.
Catarina's eyes turned curiously over to Alec. She had hoped to catch a glimpse of her old friend, Magnus.
Alec shook his head discreetly to answer her unspoken question. Her face fell in disappointment. Alec wasn't the only one who noticed.
Bane pushed his shoulders back and skirted his stare across the room. "Good evening, ladies," he greeted, voice flat as he scanned the crowd. "How's the party?"
"Boring," Madzie answered, her candor causing the adults to smile. Even Bane's lips twitched a little.
"Lorenzo's really schmoozing folks up, even more than usual. I wonder what he's angling for now," Catarina said.
"Something tasteless, I'm sure. I better find him and make an appearance. I promised my babysitter here we'd be quick."
Alec rolled his eyes and made to follow Bane as Madzie giggled. They didn't have to go far. Lorenzo caught sight of them while he droned on to a couple of warlocks near the bar about his latest acquisition, an alabaster kohl pot from the ancient Egyptian dynasty. Alec fought hard not to roll his eyes again, this time over the man's pomposity.
When Bane approached, the two other warlocks recognized their exit opportunity and dismissed themselves with relieved faces.
"Bane, so nice of you to make it." Lorenzo waved him over. "And you brought your Shadowhunter friend."
"Yes, I've been busy but wanted to drop in. It's productive for the warlock community to gather together from time to time, so I want to support your efforts here."
Alec listened to Bane's diplomatic tone. It wasn't friendly, but it was confident and assertive, befitting of a leader. Lorenzo almost squirmed under it. Alec watched the self-importance waft off the party's host, and it made clear to him that the envious man wasn't Bane's biggest fan.
"Speaking of being busy, I'm curious what the efforts of the Institute are concerning the increase in demon sightings lately?" Lorenzo asked, shifting gears as he eyed Alec.
Bane's eyebrows raised. "I haven't heard from any other Downworlders about it."
Lorenzo's eyes darted back to Bane. "How could you not? We were all there at Pandemonium the other night."
"Such events happen from time to time, as they always have. We wouldn't call that an influx, would we?"
Alec stiffened in alert. He had been in contact with Jace and Izzy; there hadn't been any spike in demon activity in the city. Only isolated incidents where Bane was concerned. The recent sacrifice of one of Lacuna's elevators was proof of that, but no one knew about it yet. He wondered what else Lorenzo could be alluding to.
"I suppose not," the long-haired warlock said. "Nevertheless, I do hope the Shadowhunters are investigating to be sure nothing's amiss. Not dilly-dallying with our High Warlock."
At that, Bane's disinterested stance snapped to attention. He stepped into Lorenzo's space and glowered down at him.
The sneer of a fake smile crept onto Lorenzo's face; he seemed almost openly excited to have irked his superior.
Alec ignored Bane's agitated sigh when he stepped in between the two warlocks.
"The New York Institute is working hard to connect more authentically with the Downworld," Alec began to spin the story he had concocted to cover his true reason for becoming Bane's shadow.
"Bane has been a gracious leader, and we are optimistic at the level of collaboration so far. We're even exploring the possibility of a Downworld cabinet meeting to ensure everyone has a seat at the table. I support what Bane said. The Shadowhunters have not seen any increase in demon activity like you mention."
Lorenzo's beady eyes scurried back and forth between Bane and Alec, clearly displeased to hear such praise for the High Warlock.
Bane stepped around Alec and reset himself in front of Lorenzo's face. "I expect more from such a prominent member of our community, Lorenzo. Do me a favor and send rumors like that my way instead of helping perpetuate them."
Lorenzo nodded curtly. "Yes, of course. My apologies. Let's leave this conversation on the right foot. A toast to this burgeoning partnership in the Shadow World perhaps. Shall I grab us some drinks?"
"That won't be necessary. Enjoy the rest of your party," Bane said definitively, pressing at his temple tiredly as he stepped away.
"Well, be sure to stop by and have a drink on your own before you leave then," Lorenzo called after him. "Tell the bartender Lorenzo sent you for an Old Fashioned. They're exquisite."
Alec had already started to follow Bane through the crowd but stopped dead in his tracks when he heard Lorenzo's offer. Old Fashioned. It was the name of the drink the Seelies had given Bane that night in Pandemonium.
"What's wrong with you?" Bane asked, looking over his shoulder. "I thought you wanted to leave as quickly as possible."
"Yes, we should leave. I'll tell you later. Can you ask Catarina to portal us back?" Alec took a few long strides to catch up.
"I'm perfectly capable of creating a portal," Bane answered petulantly as he made his way to a set of exit doors, moving quicker once free from the mingling groups of warlocks. "And don't step in for me like that again. What you did back there with Lorenzo."
"I was trying to help."
"Well don't," Bane snapped. They were in the hallway now, away from everyone. "I don't need a damn hero, Alec. I will remedy this, or it will all end in ruin. But either way, it will be on my own."
With that, he whipped around and waved a portal into existence. The action sent an immediate dizzy spell shuddering through him, and he swayed under the sudden loss of balance.
Alec held back the 'I told you so' that landed on his tongue as he reached out to steady Bane on his feet.
"I'm fine."
"No, you're not."
Together, they stepped through the portal, pressed against each other's sides for the second time that night. Seconds later, they were back in the apartment.
Even within the private safety of the living room, Alec didn't let go, and Bane didn't pull away.
He leaned into Alec's strength, suddenly too tired to care about his pride any longer. He was smart enough to realize he would have stumbled to the floor had Alec not been holding onto his waist. Creating the portal home had zapped away what precious little magic he had left.
Alec brought his other hand against Bane's back to guide him to the bedroom. He noticed how Bane winced from the touch.
"Why didn't we just ask Catarina to make the portal?"
Irritated, Bane merely growled under his breath, thinking it the most proper response.
"Or to heal you?" Alec pushed.
"I don't need to be healed."
Alec sighed. "You've been a little unsteady on your feet since the roof, and I've seen you hold your head a couple times. I'm pretty sure you have cuts under your clothes from the fall too."
"Stalker," Bane said with a huff.
"You're so stubborn. Catarina could have helped."
"I'm the High Warlock of Brooklyn."
"But she's your close friend, right? She would understand, and she can help until this whole thing ends."
"Nothing ever ends." Centuries of heartache had taught Bane that lesson. Darkness doesn't ever go away. It just lingers, wearing dents into the soul. Even when numbed, the weight of the world builds squarely on shaky shoulders.
There was no breaking free from that burden. Bane only knew how to endure it.
Alec ignored the dismal assertation, even as it pinched painfully at his heart. What had happened to this man?
"I will help you treat your wounds while you answer my questions."
Bane opened his mouth to argue but gave up before he spoke; instead, he nodded. He was too exhausted to fight, and Alec's stern tone got through to him. The Shadowhunter would not be swayed this time.
"Very well." Bane made his way across the room to the vanity, collapsing wearily onto the tufted bench seat. "Let's get this over with."
Alec watched the warlock lean his elbows on the table and drop his head into his hands. The painted nails rubbed forcefully through spiked trusses of hair, even pulling at them in a seeming effort to calm the frustration surging in his veins. Even blanketed by heavy fatigue, Bane's turmoil pulsed within him, flowing just beneath the surface.
When Bane's shoulders sunk in dejection, Alec moved to collect the supplies needed. He hurried back with the black tin Catarina had left them, a bowl of water, a couple of hand towels, and a mundane first aid kit he'd picked up on his way back to the loft that first morning when Ragnor had fortified the building's wards.
He set the items down on the bed and dunked one of the washcloths in water before rejoining Bane in front of the vanity. His breath caught in his throat when he saw swaths of tan skin come into view. The strangle of air created a gasping hiccup of sound that made Bane look up and watch him through the mirror as he finished peeling his shirt off.
Bane tossed the garment to the carpet below as he stared at Alec carefully. "What?"
"Um, n-nothing." Alec's cheeks grew heated.
An imperceptible smirk peeked across Bane's face before his expression slipped back into one of bleakness. His eyes moved from Alec back to himself in the mirror. He stared at the body glitter that had collected along the line of his collarbone throughout the night. Absentmindedly, he traced a finger over it.
Alec stepped closer behind him and watched, wondering how alien it must feel for Bane to not recall significant periods of time. Earlier that night and in the very same seat, Magnus had dusted that glitter everywhere. Bane could only stare at it strangely.
Determinedly, Alec took his eyes off the glistening skin of Bane's bare chest and focused on the congealed bit of blood in the warlock's hair. He wiped at it gently with the warm-water-soaked cloth, feeling the hefty lump underneath. He made sure to keep a blank face. Internally, he grimaced at the thought of Bane's head smacking against the concrete after falling out of his arms on the roof. Bane didn't have runes, and he currently didn't have his magic to heal with.
Don't look back, Alec told himself before he could spiral into his tendency to overthink. Otherwise, he would dwell for hours on what he could have done differently in those moments that would have protected him.
He wiped the rest of the blood away and saw the gash wasn't deep enough to require stitches. "Does it hurt?"
Alec glanced back to the mirror when he didn't get an answer. Bane was still staring at the glitter that clung to his skin. His eyes were glazed over in a way that told Alec his mind was a million miles away.
After dipping a fresh cloth into water, Alec returned to Bane's side. Cautiously, he pressed the wet cloth to the warlock's chest and slowly pressed it along the dip of his clavicle, trying to remove as much of the glitter as he could.
The action snapped Bane's mind back into the room. He blinked several times as if to refocus.
Alec bit his lip and prepared himself for a harsh tirade, bracing for Bane to push him away yet again.
But it didn't come.
Instead, he found Bane looking up at him with a fondness he had only ever seen on Magnus.
"Thank you," Bane murmured softly and looked away again. He didn't move otherwise, and Alec took that to mean he should continue. For several moments, he silently swabbed away with the washcloth. He ignored the curls of warmth forming deep in his gut as he toweled over the other man's shoulders, his neck, his chest.
All too soon, though, Alec realized his breath had quickened. It was surprisingly difficult to pull away, but he did it anyway before Bane could hear his heart beating so erratically.
For the most part, Bane had been subdued. But he noticed when Alec took his hand away. Bane stared up at him with questioning eyes. He wanted to squelch the sense of loss that flared up in his heart when Alec let him go, but he couldn't bring himself to ask for what his skin was hungry for. Touch.
Bane's mouth felt dry and his eyelids heavy. He was bone-weary and unable to push down his feelings at the moment. Dangerous feelings. Those soft, hopeful ones with good intentions that always spiraled into heartache eventually.
Alec grabbed his hand, and the stupid feelings bloomed tenfold.
"You have some cuts along your back, Bane. It will be easier for me to clean them if you lie on your stomach."
"Okay." It was all Bane could muster as he let Alec lead him to the bed. He crawled onto the mattress and lowered himself to stretch across the crimson satin of his comforter.
Tiny bits of gravel were embedded in some of the gashes marring Bane's back. Alec rummaged through the first aid kid for a pair of tweezers as Bane settled down.
"You don't have to do this," Bane broke the silence suddenly hesitant. He began lifting himself off the bed, but Alec held him by the shoulders and gently pushed him back down.
"I know. But I want to. So just let me take care of you."
Bane reluctantly obeyed, crossing his arms and resting his cheek on them as Alec got to work.
He plucked the gravel pieces out one by one, causing parts of the wounds to weep with wet trickles of fresh blood. Bane didn't flinch through any of it. In fact, he sunk further into the mattress and his breathing evened out.
"You didn't fall asleep, did you?" Alec asked as he finished digging the last pebble out.
"No," came the slow response.
"Good. I'm almost finished." Alec began wiping over and around the cuts, cleaning them up as thoroughly as possible.
Meanwhile, Bane was quite certain he was melting. He drifted under the sheer comfort of Alec's proximity. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he had allowed someone to care for him in this way. Had he ever?
Something felt so wrong about feeling so … good, and that dread began bleeding into the edges of his current state of bliss. He clutched at the comforter beneath him, wringing the fabric through his fingers. Steeling himself against Alec's warmth.
Stop, his mind whispered. He had to make this stop. He had worked too hard to let a twenty-something Shadowhunter to uproot this semblance of a life he had so precariously crafted for himself.
Unaware of the internal struggle raging through the motionless warlock in front of him, Alec scooped with his fingers a glob of Catarina's healing balm from the black tin. Slowly, he rubbed it over Bane's cuts.
Bane sucked in a breath of surprise at the first touch of Alec's fingers directly on his skin. It rendered him speechless. Motionless. Utterly boneless and pliant. Like Alec's hands held him under a spell.
A full minute passed before he came back to his senses and was able to will himself to speak. He had to end this. Feelings like this would only disrupt the part of himself he had buried long ago.
"That's enough."
Alec's hands stopped moving, but they continued to rest on Bane's bare skin.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I'm sorry that I gave you the impression that this is okay. I shouldn't have let you do this."
"Do what? I was just helping."
"Don you get it yet?" Bane squirmed out from underneath Alec and rolled off the bed. He settled on shaky legs as he fought to regain his bearings. "I don't want your help."
"Bane, I know. It's okay. I'll stop. Just lie back down, all right?"
"You know nothing," Ban spat back, crossing his arms across his chest. "This, me. I'm too … twisted to make sense of. And you. You're too innocent to understand any of it."
"But I want to understand. I want to understand you, Bane."
"Stop!" Bane shouted. Alec's words were doing something to him. He had to make it stop.
"What made you this way?" Alec's question was direct, but his words were not harsh or judgmental. They were genuinely curious, sympathetic even.
That hope started to float up inside of Bane again. He shook his head and forced it away.
"I know what you want… Don't get attached to him, Alec."
"Who?"
"Magnus."
Alec's stomach dropped. "I … I don't know what you mean."
"Oh, but you do. On the roof tonight, you called me Magnus. I can't remember the last two days. It's because of him."
Alec's lips formed a tight line. Bane knew now that Magnus had returned. He didn't know what to say or what that meant.
"He can't stay, Alec."
"I want to help … help you fix," Alec waved his hand, "this."
"You can't help!" Bane yelled hoarsely as he clutched at the lip of the nightstand to steady himself. The tornado of emotions that coursed through him made him suddenly woozy.
Alec wanted to deescalate the moment, but not as much he wanted answers. He wasn't afraid of Bane's anger either, so he persisted.
"Magnus told me about an eternal candle that's connected to you both. Do you know about it?"
Bane's face paled as he gawked at Alec. "You can't be serious."
"I am. It's real, right?"
"And if it is, then what? What would you do, even if you had it, Shadowhunter?"
"Magnus said the flame needs to be extinguished."
"Oh, he did, did he?" Bane was trembling with fatigue at this point. His skin had broken into a sweat. Extinguished. The word rattled around his brain.
"Do you know where it is?" Alec pressed, hating himself for not stopping. He could see Bane progressively struggle just to remain standing.
"Yes," Bane said just before his eyes rolled back. He collapsed on the floor in a pile of limbs like a marionette puppet whose strings had just been cut loose. His head thunked against the nightstand.
"Damn it." Alec rushed over to him. "Bane. Are you okay? Bane!"
Alec hastily scooped the warlock up into his arms, shaking him awake.
Bane blinked, bewildered. His focus fell on Alec hovering above him, and his face grew dark as he regained his bearings.
"You want to fix me? Save me?" he rasped dejectedly.
"Yes," Alec answered honestly. "I really do. But I don't want to lose my mind trying to figure out yours!"
Alec's throat closed in on itself when he noticed the curtain of tears forming over Bane's eyes. "I'm sorry, Bane. I'm sorry."
The tears only frustrated the warlock more. "Are you even sure Magnus wants to fix this? Why … why do you think I'm like this now?"
The question stopped Alec cold. He had been sure Magnus wanted to stay. So sure. Until that moment. He had never been more confused.
"I will not open myself up in this way again," Bane vowed even as he drifted asleep in Alec's arms.