Hiii I was reading chapter 101 of Hads and I'd really like to read about Katniss and Peeta trying to get out of Effie and Haymitch their history. Maybe with Haymitch grossing the children out while telling them about it thnaaaaks love

An Odd Pair

"I wonder why I put up with you, Haymitch." Effie hissed, slamming the empty cups on the table. "I wonder why I do this to myself."

Katniss let out a short sort and Effie's glare switched direction really fast. The girl was smart enough to keep her gaze averted however and to keep staring at her dirty plate. Peeta wasn't that easy to scare off though and he was glancing from her to Haymitch with open amusement. Haymitch, unsurprisingly, slouched against the back of his chair with a smirk and eyed her up and down in that insufferable manner of his.

She preferred turning her back on them all to grab the teapot.

She loved living in Twelve, she loved the daily dinners with the children, she loved the makeshift family they were but, goodness, could they be infuriating sometimes.

"'Cause nobody else would put up with a bloody harpy like you." he taunted.

She whirled around, forgetting all about the tea she had been about to pour. She placed her hands on her hips with a huff and narrowed her eyes at him, tilting her head to the side. "I would advise you to be careful."

"Or what?" he challenged. His grey eyes were sparkling in mirth but she could tell by his tone he was as irritated as he was amused by the familiar banter.

"Or you will get acquainted with the guest room tonight." she warned.

He didn't even try to rail in his chuckles. "Sure would like to see that."

They glared at each other for a second and then she threw her arms wide in a theatrical gesture of exasperation and finally reached for the tea pot again. "I can only blame myself. My mother did warn me you were nothing but trouble."

He scoffed but didn't take the bait and she poured the tea in everyone's cups before reclaiming her chair.

"So." Peeta cut in, letting the syllable drag. "How did it even start?"

Katniss rolled her eyes. "Haymitch cursed. Effie freaked out. You really want a repeat of the last fifteen minutes?"

Katniss, Effie had often observed, had little understanding or patience for their bickering. She couldn't help but meet Haymitch's eyes on the other side of the table and, despite her best intentions to remain crossed with him for the rest of the night, she found herself smiling. The corner of his mouth quirked up and his face softened. It probably wasn't noticeable for someone who didn't know him as well as she did but she saw it.

"No, I meant the whole thing." Peeta insisted, laughter in his voice. It was good to see him so cheerful and carefree. It wasn't always like that. He was doing better but episodes still came and went. "How did the two of you become an item?"

Effie waited for Haymitch to protest the term, she really did. When had he ever openly acknowledged their relationship? Even now, even when she had been staying with him for months, he still eluded when people questioned him – when he didn't outright deny it.

"We fucked." he deadpanned instead.

Katniss groaned in distress, Peeta winced and Effie could do nothing but gape. It took her a good thirty seconds to recover and, even then, she stuttered her indignation. "Haymitch!"

He took a sip of his tea, absolutely untroubled, and shrugged. "What? He asked."

"Still!" she snapped. "Can't you…"

"Sorry to break it to you, sweetheart, but we ain't exactly the perfect love story." he cut her off, annoyed. "He wants to know how it started, that's how: we fucked."

"Please, can you stop saying that?" Katniss sighed, rubbing her eyes.

"It must have been more than that…" Peeta objected, a bit hesitantly. He probably regretted even asking now.

Effie cleared her throat and drank some of her tea. "This is not the most suitable conversation. Perhaps…"

"It was just that." Haymitch refuted calmly, fishing his flask out of his pocket and pouring a small dose of liquor in his tea. She pouted but he ignored her. "Sex. Makes for a good basis, really. What do you say, Princess?"

"I say I would rather you stop talking now before I am completely mortified." she retorts, gritting her teeth.

"Yes, please." Katniss begged, bringing her cup of tea to her mouth.

"Don't see what there's to be mortified about." Haymitch grumbled. "We had a no strings-attached thing, it worked well enough for years…"

"That wasn't quite what I had in mind." Peeta said. "Sorry, Effie, I didn't mean to upset you."

"Oh, come on…" Haymitch scowled. "She's got no reason to be upset. She sunk her hooks into me when I swore I'd never get caught. She got me in the end, yeah?"

"What a prize." she deadpanned. It earned her a smile from Katniss.

"Well…" he smirked. "Like you said. Your own fault. Your mother warned you."

"Don't take this the wrong way but you are an odd pair." Peeta teased.

Haymitch scoffed around the rim of his cup. "Why? 'Cause I haven't been lovesick for her since the moment I saw her?" Effie pointedly cleared her throat, worried that it would make the children uncomfortable. Katniss and Peeta's relationship was steady and strong but the reminder that the boy had been in love with her from the beginning… Haymitch either missed the point or ignored it. "That was Effie's role. How old were you again when you got your first crush on me?"

She didn't even bat an eyelash, refusing to be embarrassed. Water under the bridge. "Twelve."

"Prophetic." Katniss snorted.

"If you believe in that sort of things." she granted. "In the interest of telling the whole story though… I did not spend my whole life in love with Haymitch. I loathed him quite fiercely for a few years, actually."

"Right back at you, sweetheart." he chuckled, toasting her with his mug before shrugging in Peeta's direction. "That's the whole tale. We hated each other, we fucked, we hated each other harder so we fucked…"

"Don't finish this sentence." Effie and Katniss cut him off at the same time.

He rolled his eyes. "Fine. Don't see why you're so prudish but fine."

Effie stood up with a sigh and started gathering the dirty dishes, pursing her lips when Haymitch not so discreetly groped her when she passed by him. She accidentally kicked his ankle. That sort of antics could wait until the children were gone.

"But how did you go from there to… now?" Peeta frowned. "If you hated each other so much…"

"Effie's Effie." Haymitch snorted before she could try to explain. "You ever met someone who didn't end up liking her eventually?"

"Johanna." Katniss volunteered.

"Johanna and I have an understanding." Effie informed the girl, leaving the dishes to soak in the sink. She wandered back to the table and stood behind Haymitch's chair, placing a hand on his shoulder. As casual as he had sounded… She still appreciated the sentiment. "Would anyone like some more tea?"

Her tone was as cheerful as usual and the children could rarely take a hint but Peeta must have had an inkling because he quickly refused and suggested to Katniss they should head back home. The moment the backdoor closed on them she sat on Haymitch's lap and loosely wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

"You are insufferable." she accused.

"And it drives you mad." he shrugged.

"You love driving me mad." she sighed.

"You're hot when you're furious." he deadpanned, leaning in to steal a kiss.

What else could she do but let him?