Author's Disclaimer: I don't own a thing belonging to "Avatar: The Last Airbender."
Author's notes: Poor Toph. Poor Suki. Poor everyone!
CharlieBarrow: thanks for the words.
"Tumbling Boulder: The Toph Files"
Chapter eight "Erstwhile Announcement"
Lin began crying as Toph slammed the door knocker. The double gates of her parent's estate were still locked, and the front headsman wasn't up at duties yet apparently. The servant beside Toph waited, two bags slung over her shoulders. She coughed in the somewhat cold morning air. Lin was wrapped tightly in a sling around Toph's neck and bundled warmly. Toph held the curve of the baby's body in one arm as she pounded again with the other. Nothing.
Toph blew a strand of hair out of her face. Then stomped one bare foot on the ground. A furrow of earth erupted, under the door, across the grounds and toward the first chi signature she could read. A startled yelp came from inside and then Toph could hear scuffling and the double doors being pulled open abruptly.
"It's about time," Toph said. The voice that answered her was familiar and she nodded as he tripped all over himself.
"Mistress Toph! What are you doing home?" he sputtered. Toph gave a tired smile and strode into the pathway inside the doors.
"Where are my parents?" she asked.
"In the dining room! I'll announce you."
Toph didn't bother waiting. She signaled for the girl with her to catch up with the bags. "Find my helper a room. Go on, take a break. I'll arrange your ticket home later."
"My thanks, Mistress Toph," the girl said. Toph grimaced. She rocked Lin as she walked toward the dining room purposefully. Lin woke and began pressing her face against her tunic front, searching. Toph sighed, patting her back as she unraveled the sling and held the baby in her arms. She sat and called for one of her family's servants to prepare a bottle of formula.
"We don't have any, Mistress."
"See to my helper. She has it," Toph snapped. As she sat waiting, Toph rocked her sniffling baby, who began to wail. "I know you're hungry, Lin. It's coming…"
And then Toph recognized the two chi signatures that flourished into the room. "Toph!"
Toph gave a small smile, rocking her child. "Hi Mother. Father."
Her mother whirled closer and peered at the infant in her arms. "What is…..oh my, Toph, why didn't you tell us? We would have helped!"
Toph let her mother fuss over her and Lin, suddenly liking it when the grandchild in question was the focus of her attention. "Her mother…didn't want that."
The hurt of Suki leaving seared through her heart all over again. Toph swallowed it back.
"Who did you…." Her father began then bit back his question at the look of annoyance on her face. Ever since she'd hit adulthood, Toph's parents had learned to leave her well enough alone to get her to come around them. And she'd given them a grandchild so most of their past ire seemed to be put on ice or gotten past. Toph felt a flush of love for her baby for keeping most of the old heat off her. "Well, she's beautiful, daughter. She looks a lot like you. What's her name?"
Toph smiled to herself as her mother fussed and offered to take the baby. "Lin. It seemed strong." She slid Lin over to her mother reluctantly. She burbled nonsense to the infant, in seemingly good spirits.
"You don't even want her out of your sight, right? It's your sire instincts. Your father was like that when you were born."
Toph allowed a smile to cross her face. "Truly? I didn't know, Father."
"Yes, well…" her father stammered. A servant entered and brought a bottle of heated formula. Tophi's mother took the bottle and began to feed Lin. Toph sighed, wiggling her bare toes on the dining room rug, digging in. She was starting to relax when her father tried one of those annoying questions.
"Lin's mother…. Is she?..."
Toph blew a lock of hair out of her face. "She is alive if that's what you're asking."
"Well, yes," her father stammered. "But is she…"
"In the picture? No." Was all Toph would say. Suki promised to come back. Her inner thoughts jeered in response. Yeah, right.
'Back to where? She wanted to fly back to Zuko. FUCK HIM….. I thought we were friends.' Toph had the suddenly rational thought that Sokka would feel the same about HER for mating Suki and having a child with her. Her shoulders slumped as she wilted in her chair.
'Well whatever! She didn't want me either!'
As Toph was getting ready to settle into a good long sulk about her feelings, Lin finished feeding. She gave a sharp cry, pulling her mouth from the bottle. Toph's mother crooned and lifted her to burp. Toph held her arms out expectantly and her mother laid the baby back into them. She allowed a small smile, milky eyes staring uselessly down at the warm writhing bundle of chi in her arms.
Her father cleared his throat. "What will you do, Toph?"
Toph sighed. "I'll have to get back to Republic City sometime. I AM Chief of police."
"Maybe that can wait awhile. So you can start raising Lin," her mother suggested. Toph sighed.
"I shouldn't have to quit. There are thugs everywhere, Mother."
"I know but….let your men and women handle it."
"I'm still gonna stop the lawbreaking. I'm good at it." Toph didn't want to add that she liked the role she had fallen into and she wore it well. It was a reflection of her truer self, she was certain. And she was respected. That she was the best earthbender and the very first metalbender was just the icing on the positive public image she portrayed. She was the best of the best. And she was trusted for it. Toph liked that.
"Whatever you do, Toph, we support you," her father said. Toph blinked small tears away.
"Thanks, Father."
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That night, Toph hurried out of the baths and all but chased down the servant she had allowed to watch Lin. Her wet hair clung to her neck as she collected her baby, Lin gurgling happily up at her.
"She was just fine, Mistress Toph!" the girl said. Toph ignored her and stalked off to the guest rooms.
"Bring a bottle to my room. Thank you."
Inside, Toph laid Lin on her back, and curled around her. Her large hand rubbed her soft belly as her thoughts turned over in circles. She had no idea what her child looked like, if the baby resembled Suki at all. Suki…. Toph sighed as she traced the baby's lips with her fingertip. As she was grabbed and sucked on, she could recall the soft touches she had shared with her lover. The sweet whispers and kisses. The hands stroking down her back. The one time she'd pulled muscles in her back and Suki had climbed on her waist and massaged her thoroughly.
Not even the closeness but hearing Suki talk, laugh, how Toph had won her the first time…..Lin cried beneath her and Toph laid her head next to the child, listening to her noisy breaths.
"You don't know what hurt is…..and that's good," Toph murmured. She leaned to inhale the top of the baby's head then kissed it. "I hope you never learn it."
Lin cried again. Toph accepted a bottle from the returning servant and leaned back against the pillows, cradling the baby in the crook of one arm. As Lin drew hard from the bottle, Tophi blinked and smiled to herself. Her child would grow strong. She would make sure of it.
Lin pulled her mouth from the bottle and gave a sigh. Toph set the bottle on the bedspread and lifted her to her shoulder. Gently rubbing the infant's back, Toph reflected this all felt good so far. Except the mess. But no matter, her child would grow and if she was a bender, she'd teach her to be second best in the world. She was already first best but could always use a back-up.
Toph's usual ego boasted at that thought, but then she had a sobering reflection. "You may even surpass me one day. And metalbend as well. How 'bout it?" she asked Lin. Her baby gave a burp and wailed against her shoulder. Toph sorted through the bundle of curious chi, picking through Lin's emotions. Curiosity, warmth, fullness…..the simple feelings of an infant.
As Toph settled down with the baby, she couldn't help hoping Lin would remain as she was for quite a long time.
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Suki knew she looked like hell.
When she was half carried to her cabin, all she'd done was collapse and cry. She couldn't help it. Her child was far away from her, and really, that was her own doing. Toph had begged her to stay. BEGGED. Toph never begged. And now Suki was leaving, if only for a short time.
Suki had collapsed on the narrow bed in her cabin, make-up a lost cause as she sobbed and sobbed. Her heart as heavy as a stone in her chest and like it was literally breaking. Her sweet small child was not in her arms. And her alpha probably hated her.
"I'm so sorry," Suki choked out in the empty room. The voyage took a few days. When the ship landed at port at the chief Fire Island, sailors bustled to and fro on deck. Suki was in her Kyoshi Warrior garb and her eyes were dry enough to reapply her make-up. But heck if she wanted to. Nothing held any meaning the further she had gotten from her child and erstwhile partner.
Fire Lord Zuko was waiting just inside the main gates of the royal palace when she took carriage inland. Fire Lady Mai was with him and both smiled, greeting her.
"Boy, skirmishes in the Earth Kingdom take awhile to disperse," Zuko wondered. He took Suki's hand and helped her from the carriage. "You're looking….well."
Suki knew her eyes were welling with tears. Her knees crumbled and Mai knelt beside her, hand on her back.
"Oh, Suki, are you feeling ill?" The concern in Mai's voice was the end of it. Suki began to weep, and the Kyoshi Warriors surrounded her, voicing questions and concerns. Mai and Zuko helped her up and Suki swayed between them.
"I'm so sorry," Suki sobbed. Zuko swept an arm around her waist and helped lift her.
"It's okay, Suki, don't worry about it," he assured her. Mai was with them every step of the way and Suki knew the servants would have much to speculate on with receiving the Fire Lord and Lady's first-hand care. Zuko kicked her door closed with a grunt.
"I swear," he mumbled. Mai sat with Suki on her bed and she was surprised when the usually made up Kyoshi Warrior began crying again. Her make-up had already started to run, and Mai was reflecting it was a lost cause when Suki curled up with her head in the Fire Lady's lap.
"I'm so sorry," Suki wailed again. Mai met her husband's eyes over the distraught woman. It was obvious something had happened to her that had greatly saddened the once stolid warrior. Whether it was abuse or trauma, well….Zuko dearly hoped it wasn't. He knew he had to be patient for Suki's sake. And perhaps she would tell them.
"Suki," Zuko said gently. "You don't have to apologize to us. How about you take some days off? We don't need you patrolling right this second."
"That's right," Mai said. She gently stroked Suki's shoulder-length hair. "Stay here. I'll be with you as long as you need."
And Suki did need her. Zuko stayed as well, both telling her stories of what had happened when she was gone, what Izumi had gotten up to, how big she was getting. Zuko was alarmed that Suki wailed harder at the mention of the royal princess.
His golden eyes pleaded with his wife's. She held Suki, talking softly to her. Zuko's heart lightened as she knew what to do. So many people thought the Fire Lady could be cold. But with the royal princess and closest friends, she could show more of her caring side.
They could hear what happened later. Zuko hoped Suki would tell them.
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Toph grumbled under her breath as she rocked the baby's basket. She was a few days out from getting back to Republic City and hopefully one of the last inns she'd be staying in. The room was too small, and no crib was available. So Toph held Lin in the crook of one arm until she slept, wrapping her in a blanket on the large bed. Toph mumbled to herself as she piled the blankets on the other side of the bed so the baby couldn't roll off. She sat up and reached for her bag.
Toph was loath to take her hand off the baby for an instant to get changed. She took off her traveling outfit and shrugged into a simple night shirt. Toph scraped her fingers through her short hair, fingers scratching the back of her scalp lightly. She preferred it when Suki did that….Damn her!
Lin put up with one more check and diaper change, yawning widely as Toph swaddled her in a blanket. Toph curled round her and blinked. She sat up and blew out the lantern, stretching out. The baby's soft breaths echoed in her ears. Before she was even ready, Toph fell asleep and almost instantly into dreams.
Twisted dark shapes danced around her and Toph growled. Her feet flexed and she tapped out a path using her earthbending. The shapes melted back, but a familiar gasp rose to meet her ears. Feeling like her ears were burning, for she recognized the sound, Toph trailed her fingers down the wall, following the sounds as she made her way down the long hallway.
Pushing into a door, Tophi clenched a fist, a burst of earth exploding from the ground beneath her to brandish as a weapon. The room had a bed and she recognized one of the chi signatures on it, wrapped up in the other person.
"Suki!" Rage was in Tophi's voice, but also a great amount of hurt. Not only was Suki fucking someone else, but she recognized the chi signature, glowing as hot as his bending. Zuko. Fucking Zuko was screwing her girl!
'But she left. Back for his palace. She's not YOUR girl, is she?' her cruel thoughts taunted. Toph growled, slamming her fist forward. The small rift of earth shattered against the wall above the bed, splintering gravel on the twining people.
Zuko's voice rang out highly. Toph took a fighting stance and advanced on him. "Toph! Wait!"
"Shut up!" Toph was pleased that the chi signatures she could make out were at least….separated. She felt ill at the thought. Just as her fists were meeting Zuko's face, Toph woke suddenly, almost rolling off the edge of the inn bed.
The entire room was roiling, vibrating with her earthbending. Toph cursed and stilled her chi. The room quieted. The pictures hanging on the walls stopped rattling. Toph stroked the bundle of blanket holding Lin and was pleased she still slept. The vibrations of the earth seemed to have lulled her to deeper sleep.
Well, at least there was that. Toph scraped her palms over her eyes, trying not to shudder. She had to get some rest before morning. But she did not want to have that kind of dream again. Almost hesitantly, Toph's sightless eyes closed. She settled into the mattress, one hand on Lin's belly.
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"Toph! What happened?!"
Toph gave a grin to herself as she adjusted Lin's sling. Instantly, Aang and Katara surrounded her, their two young children jabbering in the background. But for once, their full attention was on her and the squirmy bundle in the crook of one strong arm.
"I had an extended stay busting heads," she drawled. Katara huffed beside her.
"Really, that's all you have to say?! Is she yours or…."
Toph had been ready with a story, she had picked her up from a wiped-out village, when Aang's next words dashed that tale dead.
"Well she certainly looks like you! You had a girlfriend you didn't tell us about?" Aang's soft voice queried. Toph blinked hard. She was glad her bangs fell over her sightless eyes that were welling with useless tears.
"Or something. Her name's Lin," Toph said. A wail sounded beside her and Aang and Katara's firstborn, Bumi, was pulling at the hem of her tunic.
"C'n I see the baby?" he crowed. Toph sighed. She knelt down.
"Have at it, kid," she said. Bumi giggled beside her and said hello to the infant. Lin punched one chubby fist free from her blanket and almost socked him in the face. Toph grinned.
"Let me hold her," Katara was saying. Toph growled in her face and Aang's softer voice rang out, stopping a tug of war over the infant. Toph let Lin go and huffed to herself. Lin was fine. Katara had two small children and was already pregnant with a third. She wouldn't hurt her child.
Still, Toph sighed with relief when the bundle was placed back in her arms.
"The council can wait," Aang suggested. "I think we should all rest today…."
Toph was secretly grateful. "Gives me time to settle my officers. And see what they've gotten up to…."
"They did do a good job maintaining the peace," Katara said. She picked Kya up. "You'll be proud of them."
"Yeah." Just as Toph was relaxing, an irritating voice rang out.
"Toph! What the hey happened?!"
Great. Sokka. Toph wanted to growl and whine and complain. But she was a sire now. She gave a sightless grin to no one, holding Lin close.
"Got a kid. Wanna hold her?"
Toph kept her anger from bubbling over to her erstwhile friend as he took the infant.
End for now
End notes: Like it, drop a review. Stay strong, lovelies.
Pen 8/2/2019