Year 1: More Than a Crush

Chapter 5: January 2018

Being back home was more relaxing than Albus had realized it would be. At Hogwarts, there was always something going on. It certainly made things interesting, but it could also be exhausting. Back home, Albus could sleep and read and enjoy the fact that he had no responsibilities for the two weeks until he'd return to school.

Christmas Eve at the Burrow was the usual chaos that it always was. Though Albus and Rose were now both old enough to play in the annual family Quidditch game, they both abstained, leaving the glory to James and Lucy. Hide-and-seek was fun as usual, and it was nice to see his grandparents and all his aunts and uncles, who he hadn't seen since the summer.

Christmas Day as usual had been just the five of them and Kreacher opening presents at Grimmauld Place. There was a more intimate quality to having Christmas with just his immediate family that wasn't there when they celebrated with the whole Weasley clan. Not that Albus didn't love his extended family.

It wasn't until the day after New Year's that the Potter clan piled into the family car, used only on these rare special occasions, and drove into Surrey for the obligatory annual get-together with Harry's cousin Dudley and his family.

Harry didn't have a lot of family, just his aunt and uncle, and then of course, Dudley. Albus had never met his Great Aunt Petunia or his Great Uncle Vernon. His father rarely spoke of them, even when they visited with Uncle Dudley, and Albus and his siblings had learned not to ask questions. But for some reason, despite the fact that they all dreaded these trips horribly, Harry insisted on taking them all to visit his cousin from time to time. Like today.

"Do we have to go?" Lily whined as Ginny packed what they would need for the day.

"You have to go," Ginny replied. "It's important to your father that we all be there."

"But Connie and Theo are so boring," Lily groaned. "And Daddy's always grumpy in the car."

"Your father just likes to be quiet sometimes," Ginny said. "And Connie and Theo are your cousins, just like Hugo and Roxie and everyone else. You should try to get to know them."

Lily harrumphed and Albus decided it would not be productive to attempt to argue the same point, even if he was confident that his arguments would be better reasoned. They'd never gotten out of a Dursley visit before, and they weren't about to get out of one now.

Before they left, Ginny pulled Albus and James aside and demanded that they hand over their wands.

"But why?" James immediately demanded. "You let me bring mine last year!"

"And Theo saw it, and then he started asking questions and remember how quiet your father and Dudley got after that?" Ginny reminded him.

"Dad and Uncle Dudley are always quiet," Albus muttered. It was true. Half the time they just sat and stared at each other in the living room. It was strange and unnatural and Albus wasn't entirely sure why he insisted on going if that was all he was going to do.

"Well keep in mind that just because your Uncle Dudley knows we all have magic doesn't mean the family knows," Ginny said to the both of them. "I don't want any accidents, so you're going to give the wands to me, and I'm going to hold onto them until we get home."

Reluctantly, Albus and James handed over their wands. It wasn't as though they were allowed to use magic away from school anyway, but it was still an uncomfortable feeling. Harry had always told his children that a wizard should never be caught without his wand, even in the comfort of his own house. Albus knew that this was the reason his paternal grandparents had died so young. They'd thought they were safe at home and didn't have their wands on them when Voldemort had come calling. But there were no dark wizards these days to be worrying about, and even if there were, Albus didn't know enough magic to fight them off if one did attack. Not that that he'd choose to attack a random muggle home in Surrey.

Once they were in the car, it was about an hour's drive out to Dudley's house. As the only member of the family who could drive, Harry drove in silence all the way there. Albus and his siblings knew enough by now to stay quiet on these drives. Their father was easily angered when he was in this state and it was best not to set him off before arriving.

Dudley and his family lived in a house much like the one Harry and he had grown up in, as Harry had told them once. It was one in a row of many similar style houses with perfectly manicured lawns, cars lined up neatly in the driveways, and not a thing out of the ordinary that might make the place interesting in any way.

Harry drove into the Dursleys' driveway and parked next to Dudley's car and everyone piled out of the car, ready to get the day over with.

"Harry, Ginny, you made it," Dudley's wife Joyce exclaimed, greeting them before they'd even reached the door. She ushered them inside in the usual way that made Albus feel like she didn't want them visible and standing outside her house for too long. "Constance! Theodore! The Potters have arrived," she called up the stairs.

It took a few minutes before the two children appeared, clearly not in any hurry to greet their cousins. Connie was the elder of the two and the same age as Albus. She had straight brown hair that reached her shoulder and large boxy glasses that made her head look smaller than it was. Theodore was the younger and the same age as Lily. He had blonde hair, though it was a much warmer blond than Scorpius' Malfoy's hair, and was the spitting image of his father.

"Well?" Joyce asked as everyone except for Dudley, who had yet to make an appearance, stood in the front hallway. "Aren't you going to go play with your cousins?"

"Sure," Connie said flatly. She looked to Albus and James. "Would you like to join me in the kitchen for a game of cards?"

Albus exchanged a look with his brother. Playing cards with Connie sounded miserable, but what else could they do?

"Sure," James agreed, following as Connie led them both down the hall.

"Lily, would you like to see my insect collection?" Theo offered behind them. "It's in the backyard."

"I guess so," Lily replied.

It was no surprise that neither Connie nor Theo invited any of the Potter children to come upstairs and play in their rooms. They never had, and Albus suspected that they never would.

He, James, and Connie sat around the kitchen table and she began to shuffle a deck of cards. It was a boring muggle deck that wouldn't even explode if they took too long to move, and Albus knew it was going to be a dull day.

Meanwhile, his parents were led by Joyce into the sitting room where Dudley joined them shortly thereafter. Albus could make out some of the opening conversation, and then everything got very quiet. In the kitchen, there was only the sound of cards being shuffled and dealt, and the occasional 'it's your turn' or 'you win'.

Lunch was served in the dining room. They wouldn't be staying late enough for supper, they never did, so Joyce put forth a large spread, turning lunch into their biggest meal of the day. Dudley sat at the head of the table while Harry sat across from him at the foot. Joyce, Connie, and Theo sat along one end and Ginny, James, Albus, and Lily sat along the other.

The lunches were always the most uncomfortable, because they required everyone to be in the same room. Joyce and Ginny tended to be the ones to maintain the majority of the conversation, and today was no different.

"I love what you've done to your hair Joyce," Ginny commented. "Have you cut it recently?"

"Actually, I'm growing it out," Joyce replied.

"Oh," Ginny said. "Well it looks lovely."

"Thank you," Joyce replied. "I like your blouse, where did you get it?"

"Oh, I got it at this mug – at this shop I stumbled across in London," Ginny said, catching herself before she slipped up. "I forget the name."

The table lapsed into silence again.

"Connie, Theo, you're both getting so big," Ginny said after a few minutes. "It's crazy, I remember when you were both little babies."

Connie and Theo both nodded silently.

"Your children have grown as well," Joyce added.

Albus wasn't sure whether he should respond or not since technically Joyce had been talking to Ginny. He elected to remain silent.

"Albus joined James at school this year," Ginny said then.

Albus glanced nervously at his father. Any mention of magic was forbidden at these family get-togethers, as well as mention of anything magic-adjacent that might provoke the topic. Mentioning school was a risk. Then again, the lack of conversation was pitiful today.

"That's your old school, Harry?" Dudley asked. They were the first words Albus had heard Dudley speak that day and he felt the tension in the room heighten as everyone waited to see how this would play out.

"That's right," Harry said. His eyes held Dudley's in a gaze that looked almost like a challenge.

Dudley nodded and turned to Albus. "Good for you," he said.

Nervously, Albus smiled. "Thanks," he said. "I'm really enjoying it."

The conversation died again, but a certain degree of tension seeped out of the room.

After lunch, Theo and Lily joined Albus, James, and Connie playing cards for a while until the adults decided that the obligatory annual visit had lasted long enough and Ginny called for her children to get ready to leave.

"Well, see you next time," Albus said to Connie awkwardly as they made their way to the front door.

"Indeed," Connie replied.

Contrary to when they'd been leaving Grimmauld Place, this time Albus and his brother and sister couldn't get into the car fast enough. They were already sitting and waiting in the back seat before Harry and Ginny had even made their proper goodbyes. Albus watched from the window as Ginny and Joyce shook hands, and Harry and Dudley exchanged the briefest of hugs.

"See ya big D," Harry said as he turned and began walking down the front steps.

"It's nice to see you're doing well, Harry," Dudley responded.

Harry and Ginny got in the car and Harry slowly backed out of the driveway and onto the street. The door to the Dursley's house was already closed, the inhabitants already back to their boring, mundane lives. Harry didn't say a word the entire hour-long drive back to London. Ginny briefly asked the children how their visit was, to which they all replied with vague and neutral responses.

When they arrived back home, Harry shut himself up in his office while Ginny went to see how Kreacher was coming along with dinner. James decided to work on some homework and Lily ran straight to her room to play, needing some fun after such a boring day.

Albus found himself wanting to talk to his father, but unsure whether it was a good time. He hovered outside the closed office door for a little bit, and then just when he was going to give up and see if he could get his wand back from his mother, the door magically swung open to reveal Harry looking directly at Albus from behind the desk.

"You can come in if you'd like," Harry offered.

Tentatively, Albus entered and took a seat across from his father. Harry Potter's home office was a room that Albus and his siblings were supposed to go into without express permission from their father, and as such Albus hadn't spent much time in it over the years. He hadn't had much reason to, to be fair. It was a boring room where boring things happened. Harry used it for work that he couldn't get finished while he was at the Ministry, and for other boring paperwork that adults sometimes had to deal with.

There were a lot of things that had been on Albus' mind since being home from Hogwarts. He'd been thinking about talking to his father for a little while now, but hadn't taken the opportunity. Sitting across from his father in that moment, Albus realized that he'd picked a poor time for this conversation. The day of a Dursley visit wasn't the time to be asking questions, it was the time for letting Harry be.

"What's going on up there?" Harry asked, pointing to Albus' head. Somehow Harry always knew when Albus had something bothering him.

"Why do we visit Uncle Dudley's family every year?" Albus asked.

It wasn't what he'd meant to ask, but it was what came out.

"They're family," Harry replied matter-of-factly.

"But you and Uncle Dudley barely talk," Albus said next. "Do you even like each other?"

Harry was quiet for a moment before he answered.

"We have a complicated past," Harry responded. "He wasn't very nice to me when we were kids. But things are different now. We've grown up."

"How did you make peace?" Albus asked. "What happened that made you want to see each other at all?"

Harry shrugged. "After the second war, I reached out to that family to make sure they were alright. I never heard back from my aunt and uncle, but Dudley responded. I don't want to get into all of it, but we reconciled. We talked through what needed talking through and agreed to be friends rather than enemies."

"Would you ever make peace with Draco Malfoy like you did with Uncle Dudley?" Albus asked then. It was far from how he'd thought he was going to broach the subject, but somehow this question made sense to Albus.

"Whoa," Harry said, clearly caught off guard. "When did we start talking about Draco Malfoy?"

"He wasn't nice to you in school," Albus said. This much he knew from the stories he'd heard, particularly from his Uncle Ron. "But you've both grown up a lot since you were in school, right?"

Harry nodded slowly. "I mean, I don't hate Draco Malfoy," he said. "But things are different with him than they were with Dudley."

"Because Uncle Dudley's family and Draco Malfoy's not?" Albus guessed.

"Partly," Harry agreed. "Where are all these questions coming from?"

"Scorpius Malfoy hates me," Albus finally admitted. "And I figured if you made peace with Draco Malfoy like you did with Uncle Dudley, maybe he wouldn't hate me so much." And then maybe he'd have a chance with Hayley.

Harry sighed. "Look," he said, crossing his arms on the desk in front of him. "The Malfoys and I – it's complicated. Even more complicated than Dudley and I. Draco and I don't hate each other. But we're also never going to be friends."

"You know what?" Albus said. "Never mind." He didn't know why he'd come to his father in the first place. It was stupid. Scorpius Malfoy was his problem to deal with, not his father's.

Albus stood up to leave, but Harry stopped him, casting a close spell on the door.

"Just because I'm never going to be friends with Draco doesn't mean I'm not still concerned about you," Harry said. "Has Scorpius done anything? Because if he's bullying you, I can talk to someone, maybe arrange a meeting with the Malfoys – "

"Don't worry Dad, it's nothing like that," Albus assured him. Technically Scorpius wasn't bullying him. He was just standing in the way of him making friends with Hayley. "He just doesn't like me is all."

"I'm sorry," Harry said. "If it has anything to do with me, I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Albus assured his father. "I can't be liked by everyone, right?"

Harry shook his head sadly. "Not in this family," he said. "And I'm sorry for that too."

Albus moved across the room to where his father was sitting and gave him a hug.

"It's not your fault," Albus said. "I'm really glad I'm your son."

"I'm really glad I'm your father," Harry returned.

AaAaAaAaAaA

As Albus prepared to return to Hogwarts for the second term, he couldn't help but play the conversation he'd had with his father over and over in his head. There was a lot that Albus loved about being a Potter. He loved that he was a part of a big family that loved each other and supported each other and saw each other all the time. He loved that his parents were good people who cared about others and about making the world a better place. He loved that he had parents that cared about him and his siblings and each other.

There were also a lot of things that Albus hated about being a Potter. He hated that his life had always been more public than the lives of other children his age. He hated that people expected certain things from him because of who his parents were. He hated that he was constantly judged by his name and not by his actions. And mostly he hated that there were people out there who hated or disliked him without even knowing him.

But if Harry could make peace with his cousin, maybe Albus could make peace with Scorpius. Maybe there was a way that he could just talk to the boy, and show him that he was a good person, despite what Scorpius apparently thought of him. And if Albus could get Scorpius to like him, then maybe he stood a shot with Hayley.