Dear Mavis, Are You Bloody Well Kidding Me?

by Abracadebra

What happens when Newkirk finds out that his sister has been writing letters to Colonel Hogan-and that the Guv has actually been writing back? Letters from an irritable British corporal happen, that's what. Many thanks for Prolegomenon aka Old English Game for inspiring this response with her very funny "To Colonel RE Hogan" story and to LE Wigman for playing along.

17. Chapter 17: Freddy

May 7, 1944

Dear Peter,

You're probably shocked to hear from me. Well, you're not half as shocked as I am to be writing to you.

I'm not sure why I think you'd be interested in anything I have to say. You already ignored my best piece of advice, which was to stay the hell out of France. But your Mam said she thought you might like to hear from your old man. I doubt she's right, but I do love the old girl, so I'm writing even though I expect you'll toss this letter straight onto the fire.

I'll bet your didn't know that your namesake, my young brother Peter, would have been 50 years old today. He was still 20 when we marched off to war together in December 1914, just weeks after you were born. He was 22 when he got cut down in France. You know the story. I told it often enough at The Ten Bells when I had a few drinks under my belt. I remember you listening with your head tipped to one side like you always did when you were a little lad.

You would have liked your Uncle Pete. He was a right scallywag and made me laugh all the time, except for when I wanted to hit him, which was actually quite often. I think I'm seeing his ghost every time I see you or your brother Arthur. If you didn't have your Mam's eyes, you could be your uncle's double.

This must sound daft to you, coming from a father you've hardly spoken to in 10 years, but I wanted you to know it. It's just an old man's recollection of his departed brother, who'll always be handsome and smiling and in the pink of youth.

Look after yourself over there, son. We've already lost one Peter Newkirk on European soil, and it would be right careless to lose a second one. Your Mam is counting on your safe return, and I told her what Alfie Burke told me, that you're clever and resourceful, and you've probably surrounded yourself with good mates. I've no idea why Alf thinks he knows this, but he seemed quite confident of it, and it calmed your Mam to hear it.

When you do get home, as I hope you will, let's lift a pint together at The Ten Bells and try not to come to blows. Perhaps a toast to two world wars and the years and lives they took from us will settle us down.

And Peter, I realize four years as POW is a long time, but it's a far sight better than 27 years missing on a field in France. It wouldn't matter to you as you'd be dead, but your family—well, they might never get over it. So keep your head about you.

Your father,

Fred Newkirk