may i prompt? -i remember reading something where effie was caught with her hands down haymitch's pants, so i was wondering if u could do one were hayffie walk in on the kids like that

Teenagers Are The Worst

"Six needs to go without a hitch." Effie insisted, hurrying after Haymitch down the train corridor. She was annoyed that he didn't have the courtesy of slowing down the pace so she could walk next to him, she highly disliked having a conversation with his back, but he had been determined to escape the discussion since she had started it. He claimed they had already gone over it at length the previous night – and they had – but it never hurt to be prepared in her book. "And if you could have a word with Katniss…"

"I've had plenty of words with Katniss, sweetheart." he sighed, sparing her a glance over his shoulder. "Told her to look in love so many fucking times I can't even count them."

"She looks constipated every time she has to step on stage." Effie deadpanned. "The way she looks at Peeta won't fool many people."

"You tell her." he shrugged.

"I did." she argued.

"Yeah, well… So did I." he lamented. "Look… As far as Katniss goes, there's no training her. We're gonna have to let the boy handle…"

His voice suddenly trailed off as they reached the train's last car. It was usually the one the children hung in because they were fond of the huge glass wall-windows that allowed them to take in the whole landscape – and it was also cozier than the living-room car.

Haymitch remained frozen in place and gave no hint that he would ever finish his sentence. She frowned and ducked under his arm, curious to see what had him so shocked.

"Oh my goodness!" she gasped when she actually caught sight of the children.

Katniss had both hands on Peeta's groin.

The only mercy was that his pants were still on.

The girl was staring at them all, frowning and seemingly confused. Peeta looked like a deer caught in headlights. Haymitch was gaping, red in the face.

"Breathe." she reminded him before glaring at the young victors. "Take your hands off him, young lady. That is not at all what we meant by 'try to look in love'."

Haymitch let out an indistinct noise between a grunt and a pained whine.

"It's not what you think!" Peeta promised, battling Katniss' hands away and taking several steps back. "I swear!"

A glance was enough for Effie to ascertain his zipper was open and he was having a… situation. She tactfully kept her eyes on his face but he must have realized she had noticed because he flushed crimson, grabbed a cushion from the couch and pressed it against his groin.

"I believe we all ought to have a little conversation about acceptable behavior in common areas." she gritted through clenched teeth. "Truly! Imagine that!"

"Don't have to." Haymitch muttered.

She wasn't sure if he meant that he didn't have to because it was seared on his brain or because they had always been so bad at being respectful of shared rooms. Why, the number of times they had done it in that very car… If that couch could talk…

"No, no, no…" Peeta cringed. "She was just… She was helping me…"

"You don't say." Haymitch scoffed.

Effie elbowed him and pursed her lips at the boy. "Any helping hand Katniss might want to give you will be reserved for your room or hers from now on, are we clear? And you will come to my room before dinner so I can make sure you have appropriate means of protection." Which might be a little difficult because… Her eyebrows furrowed and she turned to Haymitch. "Do you have condoms?"

"What would I have condoms for?" he scowled. "You're the one who always have some in your purse…"

"I haven't been keeping any in years." she protested. "What would I have used them for?"

He opened his mouth and wisely closed it again before they could start the whole no-string-attached debate in front of the children.

"Cinna." he said. "Cinna might have some."

"Perhaps." she hummed but she doubted that. He and Portia had been together for long enough that they were probably off condoms. "I will ask around if not."

And wouldn't that be a fun addition to the trip.

"We don't need condoms." Katniss scowled. "What are you on about? I was just helping him…"

"Against my will!" Peeta added quickly. "I told her not to…"

"Likely story, boy." Haymitch mocked. "You didn't seem to mind… the help."

He nodded at the cushion Peeta was still covering himself with.

"His zipper was opened. I told him, it turned out it was stuck so I said I would help 'cause I'm good with zippers, that's it." Katniss growled. "Why do you have to twist everything?"

"Now, Katniss…" Effie started, taking pain to keep calm because starting to shout about proper behavior and manners and safe sex wouldn't help with her particular brand of temper. "There is no shame in experimenting however…"

"I'm out of here." the girl snapped.

"Certainly not!" Effie huffed. "You will sit down and listen because I will be damned if you two are not safe on my watch." Katniss had never listened to her before though and she stormed out, pushing between her and Haymitch, stomping her feet all the way down the corridor. Effie glared at Haymitch. "Do something!"

"Like what?" he scowled. "You want me to grab her, toss her over my shoulder, bring her back and force her to listen?"

She didn't even blink. "For instance."

"It was really what she said." Peeta cut in with a wince. "She didn't mean… I mean… I don't think she realized… I…"

"You don't think she realized you got a boner while she was trying to pop your zipper up?" Haymitch retorted.

Peeta licked his lips and hung his head, his face so red Effie took pity.

"Dear, we won't be mad if you two are… experimenting." she promised. "Young people will do as young people do. Why, I…"

"Nobody wants to know what you were up to when you were young, sweetheart." Haymitch interrupted her swiftly. "Look, kid, just…"

"We're not having sex." Peeta snapped, rubbing his face. He tossed the cushion back on the couch.

"You are sleeping in the same bed." Effie insisted.

"But not like that." the boy hissed. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

And before she or Haymitch could argue, he was storming out too. Effie watched him go and then closed the door so they could have some privacy.

Haymitch shook his head, fished his flask out of his pocket and flopped down on the couch, his grey eyes watching the landscape flashing by through the floor to ceiling window.

"You buy the story?" he asked her.

She gracefully sat down next to him. "Which one? Katniss' hands being in Peeta's pants being innocent or the fact that they are sleeping together but not sleeping together?"

"Either." he snorted. "Both."

"Do you?" she deadpanned.

"Don't know." he admitted. "If it was me…"

"Exactly." she hummed. "I would not hold back either. Give me some of that." He handed the flask, smirking a little when she gulped some moonshine down and her eyes immediately watered. She made a face. "I do not know how you can stomach this."

"Experience." he teased. "So… What do we do now? We wanted them to be closer…"

"Yes, but that was not what I meant." she countered. "I am going to have to live dreading a pregnancy scare…"

"Teenagers…" he sighed.

She let out a sigh of her own. "Quite."

Teenagers, she decided, were the worst.