Dear Mavis, Are You Bloody Well Kidding Me?

by Abracadebra

What happens when Newkirk finds out that his sister has been writing letters to Colonel Hogan-and that the Guv has actually been writing back? Letters from an irritable British corporal happen, that's what. Many thanks for Prolegomenon aka Old English Game for inspiring this response with her very funny "To Colonel RE Hogan" story and to LE Wigman for playing along.

22. Chapter 22: Dear Maggie

(This and the previous two chapters are in response to Chapter 10 of Mavis' Missives by L.E. Wigman)

July 22, 1944

Dear Margaret,

I'm using your proper name because this is a formal letter of notice from your big brother.

1. You are not to get on any submarines.

2. You are not to march into Berlin. There are rules of civilized warfare that we obey because we are British, and even though the Germans deserve it, they are not ready for Hurricane Maggie.

3. Be good and look after Mam and Mavis and the little 'uns.

Now that we've got that out of the way, I've got a secret for you. I know I can confide in you because everyone says you are just like me. That means you will understand the importance of what I have to say.

I understand Da is back home. He might stay or he might leave again, but there is something I need you to do. Sit and talk with him for just 15 minutes. Don't fight or argue or try to get a sixpence from him. Just tell him about what it's like being Margaret Rose Newkirk.

I think you're 13 now, aren't you? When I was 13, I had a holy row with Da that went on for two years and ended with me leaving the house to make my own way in the world. The secret is that I might have acted like I wanted that. But inside my heart was breaking. I missed Mam and I missed my brothers and sisters and wasn't even there when some of you were born. And I missed Da, even though I couldn't say it at the time. I slept in damp fields and on rough sidewalks until Vera Burke realized what was happening and took me in.

When you're 13, you think you are practically grown up, but you still need your family. Even at my age, which is nearly 30, you need your family. With Da coming back, even if he doesn't stay, which I have to honestly say he might not do, you get a chance to know him. Don't blow it, Maggie.

And stay off submarines.

Your big brother who loves you madly,

Peter