"So you're up against Shika, right, Naruto?"

"That's right! I'm gonna beat him, -ttebayo!"

"Do you even have a plan?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"Throw all of my jutsu at him?"

Sasuke sighed.

"And how many jutsu do you know, Naruto?"

"...Three."

"That's what I thought. Although, it's just two. What do you think your harem jutsu is going to accomplish?"

"..."

"Learn more jutsu, Naruto."

"Fine, I'll learn some jutsu. But now it's time for your preparation against Neji."

Sasuke shivered.

Exam day

In the end, Naruto didn't learn any new jutsu. Eh, he could just wing it. Chuckling at how Neji gave up, he stepped into the arena for his fight against Shikamaru.

Using the Shadow clone jutsu, he got in close, but was immediately caught in a shadow. Flaring his chakra so hard that he glowed, he jumped away.

Flying through the hand signs, Naruto used the summoning jutsu, before realizing he had forgotten to bite his finger. Using it again, he looked in horror as a tiny frog appeared.

"Yo."

Naruto face-palmed.

Nothing worked. Shikamaru seemed to have done extensive research. Naruto would have felt flattered if the research hadn't been so effective.

Naruto had nothing left in his arsenal when he decided to screw it and use his sexy jutsu. Couldn't hurt to try, right?

Multiple clones rubbed on Shikamaru. "Shikamaru-samaaa", they crooned.

Of course, it didn't work.

"What the hell, Shika! Are you even a teenager? This jutsu should work on any boy!"

Shikamaru cocked his head to the side, smirking lazily. "Ah, you see, I'm too lazy to get seduced."

Naruto growled, before realizing exactly what Shikamaru had said. His face widened in a huge grin. He brought his hands together in a seal.

"Harem Jutsu: Anti-Nara style!"

Multiple female Narutos (Narutoes?) appeared. However, instead of crawling, they stood tall. There was no smoke around them. Instead, they were clad in black-leather and intricate masks. In simple terms, dominatrix gear.

One of them walked up to Shikamaru and grabbed his neck tightly. Shikamaru was too shocked to move. The dominatrix Naruto held up some sort of device, smirking.

"Wh-wh-what is that?"

Female Naruto's smirk widened. "Why, I believe it's called a ball-crusher."

"PROCTOR, I FORFEIT!"