Don't you understand, what I'm trying to say?
And can't you feel the fears I'm feeling today?
If the button is pushed, there's no running away,
There'll be no one to save with the world in a grave,
Take a look around you, boy, it's bound to scare you, boy,
And you tell me over and over and over again— over again— over again— over again— over again— over again— over again— over again— over again— over again— over again— over again— over again—
The next morning Shadow awoke clinging to a pillow— it was strange for him to wake up in anyplace from his apartment. He couldn't fathom how conscious he was last night. A groan escaped his curled up body— scrunching his eyes before blinking away the grit.
He opened them to see the empty other side of the mattress— Shadow realized that he was on Sonic's side of the bed. His Crosley was seen over the mattress lip, toiling away.
Hastily tossing the pillow aside the hedgehog sat up immediately. The same byte of sound had been repeating on a continuous loop.
Removing the needle from the record the sound exited the room promptly. Using the butt of his palm he wiped at his eyes. Glaring at the Barry McGuire single he was holding with a flaccid grip, Shadow tried to finesse what the problem was.
The song, however, put his mind in a different place.
… When he woke up originally the first time before his fall. He remembered his last day upon the ARK fairly well. Or so he thought.
It was November 1970 couldn't remember a specific day— there was something terrible going on the surface of the earth. Or so he had heard among the whispers of the scientists.
A war.
Seemingly an endless, unnecessary war.
Shadow remembered vaguely that he was made during the last stretch of the war when it was thought humanity would be at its weakest.
Doctor Robotnik was seemingly out of options. Patience and resources were the next things to come up sort in Robotnik's reserve.
Maria's sickness never came close to hindering her spirit. On the physical level however, she found herself short of breath— muscles beginning to atrophy. Her body was spending most of its energy fighting and losing. Maria's platinum hair stopped growing at her shoulders, for this reason. Shadow had overheard the disease was progressing from the inside out. It didn't make much sense to him then.
Barry McGuire's 'Eve of Destruction' was playing on Maria's sky blue record player. There was something about the singer's raspy voice that made the hedgehog feel grounded— as if the unpolishedness of it made him more secure about his own uncomforting coarse voice.
They had been drawing that day in the canteen. The floor of the canteen was covered in the scattered clusters of printer paper. She was drawing some sort of plain, with a stream, a farmhouse as well. Then a highway— a series of early earthly man-made landscapes. The hedgehog wondered if she was making it all up.
Shadow was using the much more unsophisticated crayon versus Maria's delicate use of colored pencils.
She was called away by Robotnik, he attempted to follow— only to be ordered to stay put— Robotnik apologized for snapping.
Shadow followed them anyway as childlike curiosity couldn't be dissuaded by raising one's voice.
The pair of them were alone in the lab, Gerald appeared to be exhausted, he was mentioning something about a protest. The war, the protest, casualty— parents, I'm sorry— deceased— permanent residence. ARK.
It wasn't just bits and pieces, but bits of pieces. Maria cried out hugging her grandfather for the first time Shadow could ever remember. Robotnik's hands hovered over her back hesitantly, but eventually, Shadow could see too that the professor was crying. Robotnik held onto his granddaughter as if she would dissipate into the stars that hung in the black outside the windows.
"Hey, Shadow— earth to Shadow!"
Shadow jolted in place taking shallow breaths. Tails was taxiing to land by the coffee maker. He didn't seem to know that he was in the kitchen while he was lost in thought.
"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you. I just wanted to know if you had planned on taking a shower. The water heater only has so much hot water and I wondering—"
Shadow felt that he was still holding the record in his hands— setting it down louder than he intended he asserted," I'm probably going to leave soon; you can go ahead."
The kit made note of shadow's eyes, they seemed to go everywhere when searching for an answer that shouldn't have been that hard to find. Tails picked up his coffee mug," Oh…" he scratched his ear," Okay."
Changing the subject Tails pointed at the record," What's that?"
"Oh… uh, it's some of the music I brought over for Sonic. He said he wanted to know more about me, so I-I got this." He said holding up the record once again," it's broken though. I broke it, I fell asleep letting it play and I guess it's scratched now."
Tails grabbed the record with wonderment," This sure is a big CD!"
Shadow felt the spindly white beard of age growing in his mind. He placed his elbow on the table," I can play some for you sometime— not sure you'd like them very well."
"I mostly like classical music… you know like uh, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, Strauss, Mendelssohn."
"That is somehow the most unsurprisingly Tails thing you've ever said," Shadow smiled with unexpected warmth. The kid listened to music older than Doctor Robotnik.
"Thank you?" Tails said sipping at his coffee before walking into the den to watch his morning cartoons.
Shadow glanced at the record again, it suddenly didn't seem so heavy anymore.
From the depths of the house, Sonic emerged arms outstretched pointing straight up to the ceiling. He yawned in a way that made his jaw pop like a snake.
"Goooooooooood morning!"
"Morning," Shadow replied, smiling," Good to see you awake and with the rest of the living."
Before making his way to the fridge Sonic leaned over kissing his partner on the cheek," Wouldn't miss it for the world."
Blush flooding his face Shadow had to concede that Sonic was the victor of this round of being the better boyfriend.
"How's the egg?"
"Still in its shell," Sonic mumbled in an overly dramatic and dejected fashion.
Shadow quipped," Watched pot."
"I don't think the egg has stage fright." Sonic stuck his tongue out," I'm still sitting on names for it, what do you think Shelly or Shelly?"
Anxiously Shadow stood up, attempting to save face," It sounds like a Shelly to me," he said quickly scavenging his phone. Shadow used his fist to prop up his face as he scrolled through his phone aimlessly- distracting himself.
"...Hey, I know this isn't the most exciting thing in the world, but uh… You're not bored, right?" he chuckled awkwardly.
Shadow tried to muster up a smile but the subject mashed with the furrowed brow. It wasn't boredom he was feeling. He could see how happy Sonic was he was perhaps perturbed how he wasn't the cause of it. It was selfish but it was sincere. And he hated himself for it. The hedgehog didn't feel jealousy… he didn't think it was possible as it was beneath him- so far beneath him, he didn't think it would ever surface.
"Oh no, I'm… fine… I'm okay," Shadow fumbled, attention severed in a multitude of directions- phone, boyfriend, thoughts-
Sonic felt his fists tighten, and his throat go dry. He hated those words,'I'm fine'. More often than not those words were wielded like a shield but felt like a weapon being plunged hilt deep into his chest.
"I was just checking my inbox to see if Rouge had sent me any updates," A more rehearsed excuse wormed its way out of Shadow's head and through his mouth.
Simply Sonic just replied with an," Oh," he paused trying to think of something that wasn't confrontational and stupid- like he was,"...Uh, you had a good time last night?"
Without much hesitation, Shadow finally put his phone down," Yes, of course- I really had a great time… I'm sorry again for just showing up without really- thinking…"
"I love surprises, especially when they're you," Sonic said trying to apply a bandaid to the tension he didn't think he was imagining," I know we talked about you coming over and you making a good impression on these two dingalings-"
Interjecting Shadow blinked rapidly," Did I make them uncomfortable?"
"Oh- oh no, they really like you a lot- they were worried about making you uncomfortable."
"... That's good," Shadow sighed in relief, then admitting," I find it hard to read situations, so it means a lot that you said that."
"Of course babe."
Just as Sonic thought they had punctuated the awkward, Knuckles walked in from outside. Stretching his shoulders, popping his spine audibly for the whole kitchen to cringe at. The echidna yawned- scratching at the half-moon mark on his torso.
With his grand entrance, both hedgehogs looked up at Knuckles with tense expressions. The echidna wondered aloud," Is my bed head that bad?"
Shadow pointed at the door leading to the backyard," So you actually sleep outside?"
"Echidna warriors typically slept in traditionally ornately decorated tents but- you know… last of the tribe so made do with meadow's and the night sky."
Sonic rolled his eyes," I mean it's all fine by me, we rent a three-bedroom house just so this idiot to sleep outside like he's our labrador or something."
"Hey, we have a guest room so I don't see why you're complaining," Knuckles always fell back on that argument, and it was a good argument," And it's not like I sleep on just some pile of mud- I got myself a nice porch swing with some fairy lights, it's all very Pinterest."
The echidna shook his head," Anyway, not what I came here to talk about-"
"Oh crap, it's my turn to make breakfast again." Sonic smacked his forehead, just now remembering the blasted chore wheel.
Knuckles blinked," Oh? Does that mean flapjacks?" He also then hit himself to steady his aim on the elephant in the room," Focus; I wanted to ask about the egg. Do we have an ETA on hatching or what? I was going to help Shadow do a search for the owners."
Trying to mute his surprise, Sonic tried to bluff," I can't tell but Tails said it could be days or hours."
"I suppose we should get cracking then, eh Shads?" The echidna tried his hand at the nickname, trying to make the hedgehog less intimidating.
Shadow nodding in agreement, being a bit more blunt with his feelings on the matter," Sooner the better."
"But what about breakfast?" Tails said, causing the three elders to nearly jump in surprise.
"Well, shoot fellas I'm out of pancake mix," Sonic shrugged, and then swung his arm in a 'thems-the-breaks' fashion. The hedgehog capitalized on situation hoping to stall them," And we can't leave the egg alone-"
"Tails and I can go to the store, while Knuckles can begin the search," Shadow glanced at Sonic who had trouble looking at him back.
Tails leaped excitedly in the air, "Does this mean we can take your motorcycle!?"
"Yes, but you're wearing a helmet, young man," Shadow stifled a stern growl, quickly following Tails to the front door.
"God, I am dating my uncle Chuck," Sonic groaned jokingly. As they split up with their tasks for the morning. Knuckles stared at Sonic with a pursed lip.
"What?"
Knuckles crossed his arms with a steeliness," We're not out of pancake mix, Sonic."
"Oh?" Sonic tried his best to feign ignorance while Knuckles stared straight through him," My mistake."
"You know I don't appreciate it when people lie," The echidna mumbled disappointedly. He passed a few silent moments boring holes into Sonic almost like he was swiss cheese. Though Sonic would not just fess up, the hedgehog held firm under scrutiny.
"Are you okay Sonic?" He inquired, subtracting as much hostility from his voice as possible. It was unlike the hedgehog to lie straight to his face before, Knuckles had never truly been that smart. Most people wrote him off as being gullible, which was, unfortunately, the truth- but in his age, he began to question even the slightest movement even if it were to come from one of his best friends.
"Me? Yeah, Knuckles dude I'm perfectly fine," Sonic attempted to cover his hide again," I'm just trying to get those two to bond, yknow?"