I've been going through my archives and found a few stories that were nearly completed or were supposed to be part of a bigger story that I never published. In the spirit of all the extra time a lot of us have been spending at home, I figured I'd bite the bullet and release them into the wild. I don't have a ton, but maybe a few more if I can finish them. Happy Holidays!
Despite knowing that she hates it, he stoops a bit and wraps his arm across her collar pulling her against him as the train approaches. It comes in with a swooping wind that she leans into with a grin. Rush hour subway traffic makes him anxious when he's with the kids, especially when he's without backup. His daughter allows his hold on her until the brakes squeak the train to a stop. It's a wordless compromise they have stumbled upon and as they are shuffled towards the awaiting car, she escapes his grasp as usual. He tightens the straps on his backpack and places his hand along the crown of her head as the doors open and the crowd around them starts to converge. She shakes him off throwing a wide-eyed look over her shoulder.
He winces remembering her multiple complaints on the subject. ("It messes up my hair, Daddy," and worse, "I'm not a baby, Daddy.") He sighs and trails his hand to her shoulder as the commuting crowd funnels towards the open subway door. His fingers tighten their grasp as the crowd pushes in around them, a stranger's briefcase flapping against his hip and faded beats escape from the earphones around him. He pulls her closer to him, his free fist clinching to fight the instinct to lift her into his arms and wrap her tight against him to shelter her from the bustling, mindless crowd around them. Someone pushes behind him sending his body lurching forward knocking him into her back and causing her to stumble. She's unaffected and regains her footing without a glance back but he turns and glares at the man behind him.
It's effective as the man shrinks back. "Sorry, man."
He's done this before, helping shepherd a daughter into adulthood. While he thinks it should be easier this time around, every day he's reminded that that couldn't be farther from the truth. Lily's opened his eyes to just how easy he had it with Alexis in many ways. She was still holding his hand at 12 on the subways, crowding around him for comfort from the crowd. Lily is independent and strong-willed, even at 7 trudging through the New York crowds like a pro. A small part of him admires her desire to dive into the world head first but the rest of him is terrified. Her mother's daughter for sure and Castle grits his teeth a bit at the thought.
Lily pulls him from his thoughts as she steps into the car in front of him, the door starting to close on his arm. For a split second, his brain goes to an awful place where he's pushed out of the car and it takes off without him, his little girl on board. It's enough to send his arm violently towards the already retreating door, slamming it back into the slots. A man steps back and makes room for Castle to join his daughter on the train and he smiles tightly, breathlessly joining her on the car; heart still aching a bit from the waking nightmare.
Lily turns and looks at him questioningly as he pulls on her shoulder to rotate her towards him.
His eyes meet hers with a sternness that startles her. "Don't get on the train without me, Lily."
Her eyes widen a bit and she looks more confused than anything. "You were right behind me, Daddy. I felt your hand the whole time like you said."
The train lurches forward and he grabs her arm before she stumbles. "You gotta hold on, Sweetheart."
She grins and grabs the bar beside him. "I love that part."
He slides his fist down the pole so it's situated against hers, his pinky gently overlapping her little fingers, lest she lose her grip. God, the happiness and innocence on her face drains away his lingering anxiety. He can't help but smile as she sways a little with the train, clutching her little fist tight around the pole as the train gently bounces from side to side. He makes a mental note to talk to her again about his rules for the subway, specifically stepping onto the car without him, but for now she dances happy and free in the small space she's claimed, and his chest lightens.
His eyes skip over the crowd, surveying in a way that reminds him of his wife. A trait he's picked up from her over the years no doubt. His little swaying girl in his peripheral vision the entire time.
Mostly, no one pays any attention to much of anything beyond themselves. Eyes buried in their phones or closed in relief of the end of a long day. A father swaddling a baby grins down at her before his eyes raise and he gives a nod of camaraderie to Castle as he hugs the bundle closer to him. Castle would swaddle and hug Lily tight to his chest even now if he thought she'd stand for it. He's familiar enough with the Beckett women these days to know that's definitely not happening, but oh how it would ease his tired Dad heart.
A young couple whisper to each other with clasped hands. They remind him of early days with Kate, when she used to make him ride the subway with her. A teasing glint in her eye when he would grab her hand in exchange for him taking the trains with her. It had taken him a couple of years to admit that he quite enjoyed the subway and had simply been all too happy to reap the benefits of her rewards to admit it sooner. It had been a small bubble where she allowed his public displays, a sacred place in the early days when their relationship was still a secret and PDA was a rare treat.
He grins at the thought. If she could only see herself now. How far they've come in their fifteen years.
Lily leans against him, head smacking hard against his side as the train comes to a stop. "Oof. Sorry, Dad."
He winces at both the impact and the moniker. "Dad?"
She grins at him because she knows exactly what she's doing. She shrugs.
He ruffles a bit. "Alexis still calls me Daddy sometimes, you know."
It makes her laugh, his little girl, so ready to grow up and still such a kid in so many ways. She buries her grin against his side and his arm wraps around her shoulder pulling her close as he drops a kiss to her head. She slides away from him when the train starts again and looks at the map to count how many stops are left.
Her cuddles have always been a little more fast and furious than any of her siblings. She comes in close and melts his heart and then flitters away before he can get too maudlin and sentimental. Even when she was a baby, she'd snuggle on his chest for a bit and then cry and cry until they put her in her crib. It was a complete anomaly that took them a few weeks to discover. Her parents had coddled and switched back and forth for hours with his insistence that Alexis had been the same way and just needed comfort. They had failed to put two and two together, at first not even considering the crib was what she was actually yearning for. It was one day when Lily started to cry and Kate, too exhausted to try and figure it out alone, set her into her crib immediately to go retrieve him from his office. She was quiet and staring up at them with a smile when they returned. Thus the code was broken and the independent streak began at the ripe old age of 6 months. It was also his first indication that this one was going to be far different from his first.
"Two more stops, Daddy."
He grins, knowing she's giving him one there. His sweet little girl grinning at him proudly and he winks in return.
Slight movement catches his eye and instinctively he turns towards it, his eyes landing on someone who instantly makes his temper flare. A college-aged man child with a baseball hat and camera around his neck. His fingers grasp the camera as he watches the girl, nails bitten to the quick hovering over the shutter button and greasy black hair curling out of the well-worn hat. Castle's jaw tightens and he slides his hand fully over hers as she continues to hum and giggle with each movement the train makes. The man positions himself better, the camera angled inconspicuously towards Lily and Castle's fists clinch murderously. He glares hard at him, daring the man to meet his eyes.
His hand loses its grip and blindly finds his daughter's shoulder, pulling her closer to him with a seriousness that she doesn't question or try to swat away. Her happy noises peter out as she feels the tension of her father. It's only then the man meets his eyes over the heads of many oblivious commuters and startles against the scowl he finds. Smartly, the the man quickly drops the camera back against his stomach and becomes all-too interested in his phone. Castle's reputation precedes him.
His daughter uncharacteristically folds herself against him and slides a finger through a belt loop on his pants. He drapes his arm down her shoulder and spreads his palm protectively against her back pulling her ever closer, careful to keep an eye on the vulture ten feet away. He adjusts so his back is to the man, his daughter safe in the cove of his body. He glances down to her and she is looking deep in thought as she plays with his backpack strap. He tightens the arm once more alerting her to his attention.
"Hey, sweetheart. You okay?"
"Uh huh."
In the past seven years, the media attention had slowed significantly since that fateful day. It had flared uncontrollably at first, the public fascinated with the tale of the writer and muse being shot in their home by a former defense attorney speculated to be a the center of a country-wide crime ring. The city hailed them as heroes and a photograph of them out on the city streets would go for thousands.
It got even worse when, after months of speculation and uncomfortable is she, isn't she headlines, it was announced Kate was pregnant, beating the odds after a gunshot wound to the stomach. Once Lily was born, the press was nuts about getting a shot of the "miracle baby". It all came to a head when he snapped and punched a cameraman who had shoved a camera towards their stroller, frightening a barely 6 month old Lily to tears. (He had happily paid damages but never regretted that move.) Somehow, their public allure only increased and eventually he had to hire private security just so they were able to go about their normal lives.
Slowly the public's attention had waned and the security team was released, but every now and again the cameras would find them, igniting a long forgotten anger within him.
He wishes Kate were here, she'd either distract him or their daughter, though he's not entirely sure which one he'd prefer. He tries to calm his body with her phantom touch.
Lily taps him on the side with her head and he looks down. "No murdering please. Mom has the night off."
He startles himself with his sharp release of laughter. His daughter is funny but also, man, he's still not used to how quick and smart she is. She smiles, giddy at turning her dad's mood around.
He drops a proud kiss to her head. "Speaking of, your mom said you were going to help her make dinner tonight?"
She looks up at him and grins. "We're making a surprise."
"So I hear. I guess I'll lend her my number one sous chef for one night." He nudges her playfully as the train slows once more. "Name the stop."
Her eyes brighten at the familiar game. "Come on, Dad. Too easy. Bleeker."
He smiles and curls his hand over the back of her head and sighs. "My smart little city girl."
She rolls her eyes but stays close and he's thankful for it.
She thoughtfully watches as people enter and exit the car. As the train begins to move once more, before he can ask where her mind has drifted to she speaks up. "You think I'd be a good cop like Mommy?"
He aches a bit at the thought but he smiles all the same answering her honestly. "Yeah, Sweetheart. I know you would." Her answering grin is all he needs to get through the rest of the trip.
He swings her through the door, a shriek of laughter announcing their presence. He sets her down and goes about removing his shoes and bookbag. As soon as the bag hits the ground, Lily opens it reaching inside.
"Kate, boys, we're home!"
As usual, he hears the twins before he sees them. Excited laughter and feet slapping against the floor.
"Daddy! We did arts!" The two forces of nature plow into his legs nearly knocking him back against the door.
"You did, did you? Were you good for your mom?"
"Of course, Daddy."
Jake nods. "We were very good."
"Eh, debatable."
He looks up with a smile as Kate enters covered in various five-year-old-hand-sized patches of color. His eyes light up with laughter. "My, my."
"Shut it." She leans in for a kiss, careful not to touch him with her art-covered clothes.
"Mom, look at the books we got!" Lily pulls the booty from the bag.
As Lily flips through them, she inspects every one for her daughter's sake. "Oh my goodness, you guys did good."
"We got some for Jake and Reecey too."
Kate's hand curls her daughter hair behind her ear, pride shining bright in her eyes. "What a good big sister you are."
Lily's ears tinge pink and she grins proudly.
Castle reaches down to the boys who are now seated at his feet and nearing a fight over a book. He intercepts with hands on both of their heads. "Okay, so how on earth did you two manage to stay so clean when Mommy looks like that?" He throws her a wink and playfully ponders, "A question I also ask myself from time to time."
She snaps the towel at him rolling her eyes. "Boys got the first bath. I waited for you. You got this for a few minutes?"
"Got it."
She grins thankfully, making a swift exit towards cleanliness.
He turns to the kids at his feet, watching as the twins sift through the books only glancing at the cover before barreling to the next. Lily tries hopelessly to add order to the chaos, attempting to stack the discarded books neatly to the side as quickly as her brothers can cast them.
She seems to give up as they reach her personal selections, snatching them from her brothers with a quick, "Those are mine." Then huffs, pointing to her previously made stack. "Me and Dad got you those."
"Dad and I," he corrects, earning a frustrated grunt and wave off from his daughter.
Her brothers don't skip a beat, clamoring over each other to reach their stack, calling out the books by identifying features on the covers.
Jake reaches for the bag as a familiar cover peeks out of the pile. "I want Moon!"
Reece reaches for the stack and grabs for the green spine and hands it to his brother. He reaches back to the stack retrieving a book for himself and diplomatically states, "You can have Moon and I'll take Giraffe." He's only an hour older but since they were babies, the hierarchy has been clear: Reece has definitely taken on the role of big brother.
Jake eyes the orange book his brother holds and glances back to his Moon one quickly before casting it aside. "I want Giraffe."
Castle almost swoops in but Lily beats him to it. "Jake, you take Moon. That's the one you wanted first and," She leans in with an enticing sparkle in her eye. "-It's one of my favorites."
Jake eyes it wearily and Lily smiles as he quickly takes it back. She stands holding her books tight to her chest and gives her dad a long-suffering sigh. "Kids."
He can't help but laugh. "You're telling me!" She shrugs and carries her books to the couch, plopping in the corner and opening one, immediately diving in.
"Okay boys, let's go read some of these books while Mommy showers, yeah?"
"Then can we show you our arts, Daddy?"
"Of course my man."
He swoops up Reece as Jake runs ahead of them. He kisses his cheek and sniffs him playfully causing the boy to giggle and squirm.
"You smell like cotton candy. And you know how I feel about cotton candy…" Reece can barely contain his laughter knowing what's coming. "Can I eat you up?"
Reece chuckles and squirms wildly squealing, "No, Daddy!" as Castle playfully nips at him, nuzzling his neck with chomping noises and tickling his sides for good measure. He carefully tosses him onto the armchair as the boy gasps, laughing, catching his breath.
An expected little hand snags at his shirt, tugging with an expectant smile and excited eyes. "I smell like cotton candy too, Daddy."
"I get two cotton candies?!" He swoops Jake up mimicking the previous actions causing big belly laughs from both boys before dumping his squirmy happy boy on the chair with his brother. He licks his lips playfully and rubs his belly. "Two cotton candies. It's like it's my birthday or something."
"Daddy, it is your birthday!" Lily giggles with her brothers now.
"It is?!" He feigns ignorance. "Well now you tell me!"
Reece attempts to smother his grin. "We told you in the morning, Daddy."
Jake agrees with a nod even as he snuggles deeper into the cushions of the chair. "You're so silly, Daddy."
Lilly grins towards him. "I hope you didn't spoil your appetite, Daddy."
He smirks at her and steps forward playfully lurching out his hands as if to grab her. "Always room for you little girl!"
She puts her hand out to stop him, face serious with an eyeroll that almost, almost, makes him laugh. "No Dad! Mom and I are making dinner."
He drops his hands and covers his disappointment with an exaggerated grimace, grabbing his chest and falling on the couch beside her. "Dad. Mom. No gobble monster? Where'd my baby go?!" He peeks over to her to see her grinning at him and she pokes his shoulder with her foot. He grasps it and gives it a little squeeze, relenting. "Love you, my big grown up girl."
She takes it with a proud smile. "Love you too, Daddy." And then she laughs when his eyes light up. "Gosh, you're so easy!"
God, she sounds exactly like her mother. Words she's no doubt heard her mother say time and time again. It sends a warmth pumping through his veins, love for his family curling through his bones even as his too-old daughter settles back into her book and his two little boys bicker and tussle on the chair next to him.
He's proud that when Kate exits the bedroom he's managed to entice the kids enough with the newly acquired books that she enters to an almost peaceful scene. The boys squirm together on the large armchair, bare feet kicking in the air as they flip through books taking turns pretending to read to each other.
Lily is unperturbed by her brothers, engrossed on the other end of the couch in a book he recognizes as one Alexis read when she was about her age. His hand remains wrapped around the little foot that's decorated with gently chipped pink nail polish that her sister had applied just days before. So similar and different the two of his daughters are, such marvels both of them.
He looks up from his tablet when he hears his wife in the kitchen. She probably was hesitant to break the all-too-infrequent calm that he had managed to capture and slipped into the kitchen to try and stretch the moment out a little longer. It's further confirmed when he turns to look at her and she smiles, darting her eyes to Lily with a wink.
He turns back to his daughter squeezing her foot to gain her attention. As to not disrupt the boys he whispers, "Wanna go help your mom with dinner?"
Her face lights up and she immediately reaches for her bookmark, sliding quickly off the couch.
The boys don't look up and Castle takes the moment to stretch out along the couch where his daughter once laid. The sounds around him drown away and he is surprised when he feels himself start to drift. Such a rarity for him but he doesn't question it. Maybe it's the birthday gods smiling down on him or maybe-
The thought is immediately cut short when a boney knee jams hard against his spine and four little legs and hands clamber for his attention. "Ow," he moans with his face smashed against the pillow. Yeah, he definitely should have seen that coming.
Hands smash his cheek encouraging him to turn towards the ruckus. He knows it's Jake almost immediately but the voice seals it. "Daddy, whatcha doing?"
"Dreaming of my bachelor days."
"What's a batchalord day?"
He hears his wife laughing at that and grins a little that she shares in and appreciates his joke.
"Reece and Jake did you wake your daddy?"
"He wasn't sleeping, Mommy."
"Yes, they swooped in and saved me from the oh-so-dreaded peace of a birthday nap."
Reece snuggles against him. "You're welcome, Daddy. Naps are so boring."
He shields his boys from falling onto the floor and pushes up to his knees taking them with him making a monstrous sound as he goes. They hang on laughing and quite enjoying the ride. Probably not the best strategy for ensuring future uninterrupted naps but they love it so he indulges them. He'll sleep when such simple things no longer hold their interest.
Or he's too old to push their weight around with ease. The ache in his bad shoulder reminds him that that may be sooner than he had hoped. Always the detective and probably catching his winces, Kate steps in to diffuse the clamoring that is doing his body no favors.
"Why don't you boys you go show Daddy your artwork while Lily and I finish up dinner?"
He's immediately released and the small stampede of feet hit the ground running.
"Daddy!"
"Come on!"
"We did special stuff for your birthday."
He grins and stands to follow sending a thankful nod to the kitchen. He stops short when he sees Lily standing on a stool beside her mom. Mirror images. Graceful lines of their bodies hovered over a recipe book opened in front of them. Matching dark hair tripping along their shoulders. Lily leaning into Kate, raising her eyes watching her mother with such awe and adoration that his heart feels as if it may just burst.
"What?" Kate asks suspiciously as his gaze lingers.
He shrugs. "Your mini is looking more and more like you every day. It's unbelievable really."
Lily blushes at the compliment and as much as his body wants to go wrap his sweet little girl in a hug, her brothers are insistently requesting his presence upstairs. He gives his girls one last smile and disappears up the stairs, the murmuring of his wife and daughter flittering through the loft behind him.