AN: I don't own Merlin
Glad To See You Again
I was lost, and I felt defeated. My magic is gone and Morgana managed to trap me in the Crystal Cave. A trap that I didn't notice with everything going on, with Arthur fighting out there. Arthur could be fighting Mordred, and without my magic I can't do anything to help him, I can't protect him, I can't save him.
Gaius once said that due to it being the birth place of magic, I'll be able to get my own magic back from there. Gwaine and I were headed there when we were ambushed. Typically that wouldn't be an issue, I would just use my magic in secret to throw the bandits away. However, with my magic gone, I had to rely on Gwaine to save me.
Not that I had any issues with Gwaine saving me, protecting me. In fact, it's nice to know that it's kind of weird yet refreshing at the same time.
Having no magic is a bit weird in itself. I feel like a huge part of me is gone, like I can't breath without my magic. I've always had my magic, ever since I was born. To suddenly be without it, not being able to protect those remaining that I hold dear, it's frightening and devastating.
I felt like I failed Arthur in some way. That look he gave me when he realised that I wasn't going to be following him to the battlefield. He must've thought that I was abandoning him, which I wasn't.
It wasn't just Arthur that I felt like I failed either. I felt like I failed Lancelot, destiny and you.
As I fell asleep these thoughts plagued my mind, punishing me, haunting me, suffocating me.
Then you showed up before me. You are Balinor, and you are my father. When you died that day, it haunted me. It's haunted me ever since it first happened. The possibilities that could have been, haunts me and mocks me everyday.
I had just found you that day, just discovered who you were not too long before we met you. The two of us were just reunited when suddenly, suddenly you were ripped away from me. Almost like you were a thread and I was a cat. A cat that was looking at the thread that was dangling in front of me, teasing me. Only for it to be taken away just as it was found.
I had felt so devastated then.
But then when I woke you were there. Granted you were a spirit, but you still came to my aide.
You came to my aide, just like any other father would for their child, for their son.
You gave me the boost that I so desperately needed. It was you that showed me how to get my magic back. That wasn't all that you did however. You also showed me that my magic could never be taken away from me.
This is because I am Emrys. I am magic in human form. No one can take away from you what you are.
As we parted, I felt stronger. More stronger then I ever did before. I knew instinctively that I came into my full power. The power that the druids and everyone else with magic knew that I had. Knew that laid in just my fingertips.
Even though we said goodbye once more, I was glad father. I was glad to see you once more, even if it was briefly.
So until we meet again, rest in peace Balinor the Dragonlord. Rest in peace, father.