Year 2: Show Some Strength

Chapter 18: April 2017

Louis and Justin were discharged from the hospital a week later. Neither had given up the identities of their attackers, much to their teachers' frustration. But it was better, safer this way.

Louis stopped by Professor Derlid's office right before he left for the Easter holidays to inform him that he and Justin would not be continuing with his training regimen once their recovery was fully complete. It just wasn't smart anymore. It was clear that Louis and Justin were never going to be as strong as even the weakest of the Slytherins, and continuing to train would send the wrong message. It was time to fall in line.

Professor Derlid was disappointed, tried to convince Louis not to give up, but Louis wasn't budging. It's why he'd come instead of Justin – because Justin would be more likely to cave, and neither boy wanted that.

The Slytherins gave the two boys a pretty wide berth for the first little while. Louis suspected it was precautionary – making sure that none of the teachers guessed that they'd been involved by staying away. It was smart. Louis just didn't know how long it was going to last.

The Easter holidays were a welcome vacation. Louis was quiet for most of the two weeks. He'd gone home to visit his family, and mostly stayed holed up in his room, working on his assignments and studying for his upcoming exams. He wouldn't even have come home that year, except that he just needed to get out of the castle.

Because every time he passed one of the Slytherins in the hall, he flinched. Every time he had to walk through that corridor, he found himself looking over his shoulder, afraid the Slytherins were about to corner him again. Every time he banged himself against a desk, or stubbed his toe, the little spike of pain that shot through him reminded him of the pain of lying on the ground and having the crap beat out of him. When he closed his eyes at night, he could see their faces. He could hear the screams, his own and Justin's, echoing around in his head.

But the Easter holidays weren't long enough, and all too soon, Louis was arriving back at the castle after much too short of a time away, and all the memories began to invade back in on him.

"I don't know if I can do this," Louis said nervously, as he and Justin walked into the Great Hall for dinner that night. "I don't know if I can be here."

"You have to be," Justin insisted. "You don't have a choice."

"I could be homeschooled," Louis suggested. "Or transferred. Beauxbatons would probably let me in. My mother has connections."

"You're not going to be homeschooled and you're not running off to Beauxbatons," Justin ordered. "You're staying right here. You're a Gryffindor. Where's your Gryffindor bravery?"

But Louis could hear the truth behind Justin's words. Justin needed Louis to stay at Hogwarts, the same as Louis knew the only reason, he could be there was that he had Justin. The two had been through everything together, and having each other to lean on was imperative to being able to carry on. If it weren't for Justin – Louis wasn't sure he'd have been able to get back on that return train.

LlLlLlLlLlL

Once they were back, it didn't take long for the Slytherins to put an end to their avoidance of the Gryffindors. It seemed that with the last bit of term underway, academic needs outweighed the need to keep a low profile. Louis and Justin were in the library when they came. Flint didn't need to say much. He just dropped a pile of assignments on the desk in front of them, gave them a deadline, and walked away. There was no need to say much else. His point was clear. And the terms of the deal had been clear. If Louis and Justin lost the fight, the Slytherins owned them. And they most certainly had lost the fight.

Louis sighed, reaching for the pile of assignments first and sifting through them with reluctance. He noted that there were assignments from four different courses, and he split them up evenly between him and Justin so that each would only have to focus on two of the four subjects.

He had to look on the bright side. At least they were back to doing the Slytherin's homework for them, and not being beaten up in hallways. Louis would gladly do all five boys' homework alone for the rest of eternity than end up in that hospital bed again. If this was his life for the next five years, he would resign himself to it. And then one day, he'd be free of this prison.

Justin wasn't so calm.

"They can't expect us to get all this done in so little time!" Justin cried, gesturing to all the assignments. "This is like, all our homework from today. No, I won't do it. They can't make me."

"They can, and they have," Louis sighed. He didn't have the energy to fight with Justin over this. And Louis didn't have the ability to complete all the homework himself. "Just leave it alone and accept that this is our life now. We do what they say, and we stay out of trouble."

Justin didn't want to give in, but eventually he did. Louis was right, after all. Justin knew that. He just didn't like it.

LlLlLlLlLlL

Mid-way through the next week, Louis and Justin received a summons to the Headmaster's office. Worried and concerned, the boys wondered if they should go. If Flint and the others found out, they might think they were going to turn them in, and they wouldn't like that. But if they didn't go, Headmaster Slinkhard would not be impressed, and they couldn't have that either.

They arrived in the Headmaster's office to find that Professor Longbottom was there as well. They were invited to take seats across the desk from the Headmaster, while their Head of House sat in a chair to the side, facing them, but not really behind the desk either.

"What's going on?" Louis asked nervously.

Headmaster Slinkhard cleared his throat. "In the wake of your… incident… I've been having Professor Longbottom keep a closer eye on you both. He tells me he's noticed some unusual behavior recently."

"Unusual behavior?' Louis frowned. He shook his head. "Nope, everything's normal with us."

"At first I didn't realize anything was happening," Professor Longbottom said, "because it was different people each day. But since we've been back from holidays, I've noticed a pattern. At about the same time every day, the two of you will be in the library, and someone – not always the same person, but always someone from one particular house – comes up to you, hands you a pile of parchment, and you give him a different pile of parchment in exchange."

Louis shifted uncomfortably but didn't say anything. He hoped to Merlin that Justin would have the common sense to stay quiet as well.

"Professor Longbottom thinks – and I agree – that you're being exploited by some of your classmates. Perhaps the same classmates who were involved in landing the both of you in the hospital wing?" Headmaster Slinkhard said.

Louis shook his head. "I told you already," he insisted. "We put each other in the hospital wing. We were fighting, and it got out of hand. Nobody else was involved."

Headmaster Slinkhard did not look convinced, but Louis didn't care. As long as he stuck to his story, nobody could prove he was lying.

"And we're not being exploited by anyone," Justin added. "We have an arrangement with some of our classmates to exchange notes every now and then, for studying purposes. It's always better to study off multiple sets of notes, because other people might have written things down that you missed when you wrote your own notes."

Louis had to admit, it was a really good cover story. One that neither Professor could dispute, because again, they had no proof that anything was amiss. And Louis and Justin had become extremely skilled at hiding the fact that in almost all their classes now, the two of them were completing assignments for seven.

Headmaster Slinkhard lowered his head and peered over the tops of his glasses at the two boys, not seeming convinced at all. Louis maintained a straight face, and avoided eye contact with Professor Longbottom, knowing it would be harder to hide the truth from his herbology Professor if things boiled down to it.

"Very well," Headmaster Slinkhard sighed. "If you insist on going about things like this, we will oblige. But remember that you can come to us if there ever is anything you feel we should know."

"Understood," Louis nodded. "Thank you."

LlLlLlLlLlL

As the days went by, it became harder and harder for Louis to get out of bed in the morning. He just didn't have the motivation. Neither he nor Justin had been to an astronomy club meeting in weeks, because they spent all their time working on assignment after assignment. They couldn't study with anyone else, because they couldn't risk anyone noticing that they were completing their assignments multiple times over, so the two were becoming even more and more isolated from the rest of the school than before.

During the week, Justin could convince Louis to get up, by reminding him that doing the Slytherins' homework would only be more difficult if he didn't attend the lectures to learn the material. But on the weekends, Louis sometimes stayed in bed until the afternoon, just not having the energy or the motivation to do anything, knowing that all that was ever waiting for him was more of the same.

The castle had become an unfriendly place. Everywhere Louis went, it seemed that the Slytherins were there, giving them more work to complete, reminding them what would happen if they slacked on it at all, terrifying the boys into submission. The only place that was safe was Gryffindor Tower. But the common room was filled with well meaning sisters and cousins who were constantly pestering Louis about why he was so sad, and why he was always working and never having fun. Which left the dorm as the only place Louis could ever find any peace. So why would he ever leave it?

And there was something that nagged at Louis, day in and day out. Because everywhere he went, he was miserable. But everyone around him was having the time of their lives. Sure, lots were stressed out, because it was the end of term and exams were coming up. And sure, sometimes he came across someone who was sad, or crying in the bathroom. But for the most part, the students of Hogwarts were happy. They had their friends, their activities, they had their fun and did things that they enjoyed. People walked around Hogwarts with smiles on their faces.

Why couldn't Louis be like everyone else? Why couldn't he have fun? Why couldn't he be carefree, worrying only about his exam results and pressure to succeed, and all those other normal things that everyone else worried about? He was only thirteen years old, and he walked around the school like he feared for his life. And some days, he did. He'd get a sidelong glance from Flint, or see Darian Reed flexing his muscles menacingly, and he'd grow cold. When Alec Roper was around, it was all Louis could do not to freeze up and completely stop functioning.

Every waking moment, he was scared. Everywhere he went, he was on edge. The sight of his own shadow sometimes terrified him half to death. It wasn't healthy. And Louis knew he couldn't go on like this. Somehow, some way, something had to change.

LlLlLlLlLlL

Louis was in the library. He was alone, because Justin had gotten held up by Professor Tonks after transfiguration class, and he was extra jumpy.

He was working on a potions assignment for Arthur Pritchard when someone slid into the chair next to him. Louis looked over and practically had a heart attack right there when he saw who it was. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself down and then steeled himself for what was to come.

"Alec," he greeted the Slytherin boy that had attacked him.

While technically, all five of the Slytherin boys had been involved, it was more personal with Alec, because he'd been the one Louis had been fighting. Alec had been the one to render Louis unable to move. The rest that had come after, he'd been too fuzzy to remember clearly.

"Louis," Alec returned the greeting. "I was hoping I could talk to you for a second."

"Is it about those charms essays?" Louis asked, worried. He'd known they weren't all at his usual standard, but there were only so many things he could say about fire-related charms. "I swear, I did the best I could. I didn't get a great mark on mine either, and I made sure the one I submitted under my name was the worst of them."

Alec shook his head. "No, it's not about the charms essays," he said.

"Oh," Louis said, trying to think what else it could be. "Is it about the defence assignment? Because we told you all you'd have to answer that last question yourselves. It was a personal question, and Justin and I don't know you well enough to be able to fake an answer."

"No, no, it's not about school work at all," Alec insisted.

"Oh," Louis replied, feeling a pit form in his stomach. If it wasn't about schoolwork, then it could only be bad. And Alec had clearly chosen a time when Justin was nowhere to be found. That didn't bode well for Louis. The only positive thing was that they were in the library, and while they weren't sitting in the most public of areas, there were still people around, and Madam Maxwell could walk around the corner at any moment. Louis didn't think Alec would try anything violent in here. At least he hoped not.

"I wanted to talk to you because – well I wanted to apologize," Alec said, staring somewhere above Louis' forehead instead of directly at him.

It took Louis a minute to register the words, and another minute to accept that he hadn't misheard. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I wanted to apologize," Alec said. "For what I did to you."

"I don't understand," Louis confessed. This was so completely out of the blue. What had brought this on? Why was Alec coming to him now? Why was he coming to him at all?

Alec sighed. "I got sorted into Slytherin," he said, as if this were an explanation. "When you're in Slytherin, connections are important."

Louis gave Alec a puzzled look as he tried to understand the relevance of this statement.

"My dormmates aren't exactly the kind of people I would normally be friends with, but they're who I've got. I can either be one of them, or I can be against them. So, I chose to be one of them, to be friends with Flint and the rest. And most of the time, they're alright guys."

"I still don't see what this has to do with – " Louis was interrupted as Alec continued.

"I never liked the way they used you and Justin like homework slaves," he said. "But I couldn't say anything. Flint's the leader, and in Slytherin that means something too. You don't cross the leader. And when it was just getting you to do our homework, I figured it wasn't so bad."

Louis nodded, letting Alec finish before saying anything more.

"When Flint started with the violence, I told myself that as long as I didn't directly involve myself, I wasn't really responsible. I would hang back, let it happen, stay quiet, and pretend like it wasn't real. But then you picked me to fight against. And I knew that if I didn't do what Flint wanted, I'd have ended up in the hospital wing with you and Justin. So I did what I had to do."

"And now you want forgiveness?" Louis asked, his stomach turning unpleasantly. How could Alec think it was okay, to come to Louis, tell him these things, and expect Louis to just be okay with it?

Alec shrugged. "I just wanted you to know I'm not like them," he said. "They don't feel bad for what they did to you. But I do. I feel bad."

"That doesn't really mean all that much, to be honest," Louis replied. "Feeling bad means squat if you're still going to do the bad thing."

"I just – " Alec looked pained, but Louis wasn't about to offer the boy any kind of relief. He'd hurt Louis. Big time. And if he was hurting now, even just a little bit, then Louis decided that he deserved it. "I just wanted you to know that I'm different."

Alec got up then to leave, and Louis knew that this was his last chance to say something that might have any kind of an impact on Alec. Once he was back with the Slytherins, Louis could never reference this conversation again. If he did, he knew it would end one of two ways. Alec refuting the whole thing and Louis being beaten up again, or Alec confirming the whole thing and the both of them being beaten up. Either way, Louis ended up hurt.

"Different maybe," Louis muttered, loud enough that the Slytherin would hear him. "But not better."

When Justin arrived a few minutes later, Louis didn't mention anything about Alec's apology. It was clear from the conversation that it was meant for Louis and Louis alone. And it meant nothing anyway, if Alec was going to continue following Flint, which from the way he'd been defending his actions, it sounded like he would.

Louis wasn't sure how he felt about the whole thing. He didn't feel better. He didn't suddenly feel any safer. In fact, he might even have felt less safe, knowing that Flint's influence was so powerful. And it didn't change anything either. Louis and Justin were still stuck doing all the Slytherins' homework, and if they refused, the threat of physical violence was still there. Even if Alec refused to participate, there were four other very strong boys who could do some real damage if it came down to it.

No, Louis decided. Alec's apology meant nothing, and he intended to just forget about it. Alec had been trying to make himself feel better, not Louis. Which made him just like all the other bullies. He didn't care about Louis or Justin's wellbeing. He cared about himself. And Louis wasn't going to do anything to make him feel better about being a terrible person.