Because of You

Upstead First Real Kiss

Hello guys! Those of you who know me already, probably know my writing style and what I like to explore. And for those of you who don't, welcome to this chapter. I have tried to write the bar scene in 8x03 in my own words and see how I could play with their nuances and expressions. If I get a positive response, I will even think of continuing this story. I do hope you enjoy. :)

It had been a hectic and emotional day for the team. The case had taken a toll on Burgess and the emotions she had kept deep within her had surfaced today and she had to be brave. Adam too was rather close to all this. So, it had been a heavy day and the team did need a rest. Meanwhile, Jay's mind was on one thing and that bothered him more than he would have liked to. The feds were sending Hailey packages and she seemed to know what they were about, but he had to idea and that was bothering him. Finally he decided to ask her about it in between the case and she told him what the feds really wanted and he was quite taken aback by the information but nonetheless, maintained a calm composure and didn't make it seem as though this was worrying him. Hailey on the other hand knew that this would probably have an effect on him and it sure was having an effect on her as well. So finally they were off shift and they were seated at a bar, both ready to discuss the matter which would probably bring about other facets of their partnership, which both of them had avoided for so long. Jay started, "Alright, let's do this. Just rip the band aid off."

Hailey let out a small laugh, knowing where this was headed. Jay continued, "What did the FBI offer you?"

She looked down and knew the moment had come to discuss this. She spoke, "Okay, joint level task force, with the hig, all interrogations, all high level targets."

He looked at her and nodded, saying, "Sure, sure, sure, that sounds awesome."

She laughed and Jay continued with his questions and hidden motives. He didn't want to tell her directly how he felt about all this but he was certainly terrified by the thought of her actually leaving. He could see that she was trying to get him to say either this or that, but he maneuvered his way through the conversation without picking sides but simply stating facts and answering with what he thought was right. He got up and Hailey was slightly confused, she hadn't managed hearing his answer yet. So she spoke, "You could tell me you don't want me to take it. That's an option."

He looked at her intently and smiled slightly at first and shook his head smiling fully now. He spoke, "I want you to do whatever you want to do. I'm just practising self-preservation here."

She was looking away and smiling as well. But suddenly her face became grave and she spoke in a low tone, "The agent on the phone said that the only reason a good cop doesn't take a job like this is because they're scared. Implying that I am afraid of change, and I want to stay here where it's safe."

Jay spoke normally, "So he's a dick," and he smiled.

Hailey laughed, probably like she never had before. As it is, it was an extremely difficult task to get her to laugh and it seemed in this moment that only he could make her laugh like this. And the fact remained that she laughed like this only around him. But then she spoke, "I don't think that's why I don't want to take it. I don't want to take it because of you," her eyes were glistening now.

The moment she uttered these words Jay's expression changed immediately and he felt his heart stop. She had said what he had wanted to hear but was so afraid to ask or even mention. He just stared at her trying to let the words sink in. She continued, "I am better with you as my partner."

And that was it, that was what he needed to hear. His mind sort of shut down after that and he didn't know what he was feeling or what was happening. Hailey was actually uttering these words and it didn't seem like she was going to leave him. She confirmed once again she wasn't going to leave and he was forced to ask her, because it couldn't be that she was actually uttering these words, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," she replied, with a confidence and faith that was both calming and reassuring.

Suddenly the waitress came with the bill and now she too got down from her bench and started wearing her jacket. There was a look of worry on her face still. Jay went for the bill as though this was the most normal thing in the world. Then he turned towards her, himself putting on his jacket. Both of them had looks that suggested worry and a mild disappointment. Finally Hailey spoke sadly, "He wasn't really wrong though, was he? You gain something, you give something up."

The meanings behind these words were so subtle and true that none of them could say something for a while. Hailey was almost nearing tears and Jay didn't take his eyes off of her. He knew what she was implying and she knew what she was saying, but still nothing tangible had been exposed.

Jay spoke finally, choosing his words carefully, "Maybe, but not always."

Now it was her turn to look at him intently and she nodded with emotion at those words. It was true and in that moment she realised she had to take the first step, she had to initiate the first step. She had to show her most vulnerable side and take that little step. Otherwise, once again she would have to keep her feelings within herself and not act upon them. Hailey, who was so tough, so badass, so direct in her ways had to open her heart in this moment, she had to show her weakness to the one person she knew she could trust with her life and the one person she even dared to show this side of her. And the moment she decided to so this, emotions overtook her and she said, not looking at him at first, "It's been a long time since I saw you as just my partner."

The emotion, the need, the love were so evident in her voice. Tears had gathered in her eyes now and she had to even wipe one away to avoid more. She looked at him smiling mildly and knowing that she had given him her heart. What went on in Jay's mind at that moment was difficult to understand and put together, but the one thing that was clear was that he was assured of her love for him. He felt at home knowing that she chose him, no one else had ever chosen him, but she did and she made sure to let him know that as well. What he did next was pure passion and desire that had built up over the past three years. He had never feared anything in his life more than this. Her words melted his heart and undid him in just an instant. He had always been a man of action and lived up to his name. He moved forward, bending slightly and placing his lips on her, grabbing her by the waist, gently but firmly, not wanting to let go. Hailey had not expected this and she faltered, losing her balance but he held her and kissed her passionately. He urged her to let him in a couple of times and by then she had realised what was happening and she too reciprocated. Her hands were around his neck, holding him gently. After all this was new territory for both of them but if one saw it one wouldn't think that at all. It appeared that they had been doing this since forever. They separated for a split second for breath and kissed again clearly not wanting to end this moment. Jay seemed to be one who needed more of her than she did. Their eyes were closed throughout but if they had opened them, one was bound to see tears in their eyes. It was such a pure moment that the purity itself had made it so beautiful and peaceful. Finally they were home, in each other's arms, kissing gently but passionately, closed eyes full of tears, and heart and soul overflowing with bliss.

And here is the end to this chapter. I don't know if I will continue this, but I might if all of you like it. So all of you please drop your comments and share your thoughts. It would be lovely to receive reviews, ideas and opinions. Thank you for reading. :)

PS: What did you guys think of the episode? And mainly about the ending scene with the long awaited kiss? I thought it was just so pure and beautiful. It happened finally, and it probably couldn't have been done better. I was so thrilled and happy. Do share your thoughts about this, I will eagerly look forward to chat with those of you who have things to say. After all, we are all part of the same fandom and it would be so interesting if we interacted sometimes. Anyway, feel free to say what you feel like. Cheers. :)