based on the following episodes: the worst couple (3x03), tori goes platinum (3x10, 3x11), the blonde squad (3x13), opposite date (4x03), three girls and a moose (4x04) + mentions of jade gets crushed (2x10)

disclaimer: victorious its characters belong to its respective owner.

iii. it's like the bitter aftertaste of coffee

his faults and regrets

Beck Oliver was a boy that could be easily be mistaken as someone perfect. He had nice tan skin and beautiful hair, well known for his handsome looks. He had an irresistible personality to most people. He was a blessed with charisma, much to Jade's displeasure because it only meant that it was inevitable for people to like him. Everyone was fond of Beck Oliver, and Jade West used to be the only one indifferent to him.

But in the end, she fell for him hard. And in the eyes of others, it always seemed like it was Jade who loved him more. With her jealous outbursts and angry accusations, it was easy to tell that she cared more, and Beck was the one who was easy going. But it was also easy to witness Jade as bad girlfriend; more often than not, it made others think that he only settled for her.

Because in his relationship with Jade West, what other people saw was a mean girl taking advantage of a sweet boy. What they failed to see was how they both had their faults, because while Jade only knew how to fight and run away in their relationship, Beck never really knew when to say no, how to say no, and when enough was enough.

Beck Oliver was never a saint. He knows that he messed up just as bad as she did, and it was always unfair that Jade took the blame, but he never spoke up about it.

The boy was passive to a fault. He made a huge mistake the moment he even let her walk out the door; and an even greater one when he didn't open it before she counted down to ten. He let a three-year-long relationship walk out on him.

Maybe it was because the events of that night haven't sunken in. They had broken up, but it was no different to the other times when Jade initiated it. Even if it was, he knows— he hopes— that just like any other fight, she'd come knocking on his RV, and they'll make up and he'd tell her how much he loved her.

Beck really did love Jade, although it wasn't as easy to tell when other people were around. Partially because when others were involved, being the nice guy he was, he was kind to everyone. But, on another note, when they're alone, the side of Beck and Jade that other people don't see—the couple who stayed up at night to talk about the dumbest stuff, the pair that was almost inseparable, the two who had their own way of showing affection— was different. Because it was in those moments that Jade could definitely tell that she meant something to him.

But the past weeks have been rough. There was more fighting, less listening. More tension, less affection. At some point, he honestly didn't even know what they fought about. Maybe that was what was different.

But that wasn't the only thing that made this breakup different from the others.

Jade gave him choice, and he was foolish enough to think of it as a farce. To think that this time wouldn't be different from all their other breakups.

It didn't sink in even as they continued playing cards like he suggested. And he was just so drained and numb that he doesn't even push Trina away as she clung unto him ever since he sat down. He was well aware that he had to take his time to calm down and get his shit together, but somewhere deep in his subconscious he knows it was just a part of him denying everything that just happened in the last few minutes.

Amidst the round table, everyone was lost in their own thoughts that barely anyone even paid attention to the game.

Beck doesn't move. He doesn't even seem affected, but nevertheless he looked tired—empty. A part of him denies that it's a serious breakup, a part of him denies that he just lost the girl he loved, a part of him denies that Jade West was gone for good. And somehow, he couldn't even feel the pain, he couldn't feel anything; the same way he used to do so before Jade West entered his life.

Tori couldn't help but look back at the door from time to time. She did say that she felt bad for Beck not being able to come because he'd bring Jade along. But seeing what just happened, she wonders if both of them would be okay. If their group of friends would be together despite all this. If this was just another impulsive decision made by Jade or if it was actually serious.

Andre knows his best friend, more than anyone in the room does. He trusts Beck. He believes that if Beck made the decision then maybe they did need time apart. After all, he knew how bad their fights got. It made everyone feel on the edge, made Robbie cry and made Cat faint. But as his best friend, Andre was well aware of his feelings. Beck had always confided in him, and he can't even remember a time that Beck wasn't in love with Jade.

Robbie felt lost. He cried those six times he witnessed them fighting because their arguments were getting scarier by the minute, and it reminded him so much of his situation at home, his parents, their household, the reason why he needed Rex to calm his nerves down. But as much as he thinks that Beck deserves more than Jade, he also knows that no one can handle Jade like he can. And although he felt very conflicted and out of place at the moment, when he turns to look at Cat from across the table, his heart immediately drops.

Cat broke out a sob, and almost immediately everyone in the room looks at her. Initially she tried to avert her attention, to keep up her childlike demeanor to escape the worries in her mind. She keeps telling herself that she was under her bed, that everything would be alright in the morning, that her best friend was strong person. But something inside her knew that Jade meant it. That Jade left, and she wasn't going to let Beck back in.

And almost all at once, she worries about Jade. Because Jade had never let anyone get close like Beck did. Because Jade was always too busy protecting her and she knows that Jade won't confide in her. Because Jade always acted tough, and Cat had known her long enough to be able to tell that beyond her mean and bossy friend was a broken girl inside.

So, the tears run down her cheeks pretty quickly, and everyone was immediately concerned; because it wasn't always that the redhead would cry despite how childish she could be.

"Cat," Tori walks up to her to pull her into a hug, "What's wrong?"

"I want to go to Jadey" she tells them in between sobs, clutching unto Tori's sleeve, as Robbie rubs her back in a comforting manner.

"I can drive you," Beck offers, thinking that maybe he could end this mess and have a good talk with Jade. But Cat knows that won't happen. She knows he was too late the moment Jade counted to ten.

After all, Cat had a good take at why Jade hated people, why the girl embodied anger and rage. Even if she didn't hear it from Jade herself, she once asked Jade's little brother about why her friend was so adamant in befriending others. And the little boy once told her that Jade believes that her dad didn't love them enough to chase after her and her mom, to repair their broken family. The moment Beck relived Jade's worst nightmare was the moment he lost her.

Jade was tough. But that was only the side of her she let people see. She was tough, but she wasn't always tough.

And, although she knows that, Cat also knew that she didn't have the privilege to assure her and take care of her like Beck Oliver did; and she was jealous of that fact.

So, Cat Valentine had no other choice but to pin her anger and sadness at him, "You broke your promise."

"Cat."

"You're a liar! You promised me you won't hurt Jadey. You promised her you'd stay" she accuses him, even pointing a finger at him.

But she was the one who left, he wanted to remind her. He wanted to tell their friends that he was always the one who stayed behind, and Jade was always the one who walked out on him—who would rather break up with him than fix their problems.

But he also knows that when he asked out Jade West, he wasn't getting into a normal relationship. And at that moment, Beck finally realizes that he fucked up, because the numbness he felt, slowly morphed into pain.

"Cat, if you really want to go, I'll walk with you" Tori offers, trying to calm the redhead down.

"I can't. She won't let me" she confesses, "If I go there. She's just going to bottle up her pain, and she won't cry until I leave. She won't show anyone how much she's hurt, and I don't want her to hold back her pain anymore."

They all looked at her as if it was the first time that she made sense, because they never really knew the depth of Cat and Jade's friendship. And although Beck knew that she had a point, and that she was certainly right, the others wasn't sure what to make off that thought; because even though Jade was likely in pain at that moment, they believed Jade would pick herself up better than Beck might.

She was that good at pretending.

He always held her to a double standard. Beck would recognize Jade's faults but fail to acknowledge how they stemmed from her insecurities. He always got caught up in their fights, that eventually, a part of him—the immaturity he held only against her— often had him caught up on getting back at her.

It's been weeks since they broke up, but things were running faster than he thought. Because the very next day after that horrid night, they already changed their statuses on the Slap. The number of girls who disturbed his private life increased at the announcement of his status, that he was out of the clutches of the Wicked Witch of the West.

Their news of their breakup spread like wildfire, and that clearly didn't help him because just a day after the breakup, he looked like a wreck. He didn't sleep a wink, his oh-so-perfect hair was disheveled, and the bags under his eyes were evident. When Jade West didn't appear during their first period of the day, he expected her to have felt just as bad as he did.

But right when their second period begins, the class they shared with their favorite teacher, even Sikowitz was surprised to witness her walks into the door as if nothing had happened the other day. In fact, she seemed like she was more than fine; livelier, confident, a bit more ganky. She reminded him of the girl she was when they first met, the Jade West who was always at the top of her game. And damn did it hurt.

It hurt him because seeing her being better than ever made him wonder if she didn't give shit about all those years they spent together. If their memories were something she could just throw in the trash when she was sick of it. It hurt him that it was so easy for her to walk out the door. But the very pain he felt was the one that blinded him from seeing past her act.

The hurt eventually morphs into envy. And he finds it harder to accept how she was doing better as the months passed.

He was frustrated; because unlike Jade, he found his habits hard to break. He would still buy two cups of coffee, one black with two sugars just how she liked it; and it was only until his friends would ask about it that he'd remember he didn't have to do it anymore. He still browsed through her Slap page, in hopes of searching clues or learning about how she was able to live without him; hoping to find out that she missed him as much as he did.

He would still wear their couple's necklace, although he hid it under his shirt, because he didn't anyone to know —he didn't want her to know— that he was still in love with Jade West and he couldn't move on. He would still reach out to her. Because physical affection was Beck's thing, and Jade gave him the privilege; and it was only then that he remembered it was his privilege, because now she would flinch or snap at him when he even touched her.

The boy was as self-destructive as she was. It was the very reason why his frustration eventually turns into anger to a point that he just wanted to catch her attention. It didn't even matter if it would piss her off —if it would hurt her— because if he could elicit a reaction from her, it meant that Jade was still affected by him; that deep down, she still had feelings for him.

Honestly, no one would expect that Beck Oliver was also petty at times, because he always seemed like the mature one in their group—the cool guy.

And even though, it takes a long time until they finally get used to each other, he thinks that the wait may be worth it. He thinks that if he manages to get her to feel anything for him, be it even hatred, it meant that he had the upper hand again.

The first few weeks she simply ignores him. The next few months, he is able to get under her skin and they bicker sometimes. Eventually, they could finally stand in the same room together. But feelings don't fade that easily, especially coming from three-year long relationship.

So, Beck does the next best thing could. He tries to rile Jade up, to get revenge on her by getting close the one person she always ended up hating on. Her antithesis, sweet and nice Tori Vega. The girl who, despite their ups and downs, Jade always found herself antagonizing.

He does succeed, but he doesn't notice. Because from the corner of the room, Jade West's blue eyes would always flicker with pain and anger when she sees the boy she loves, embrace the girl she always found herself envious of. The girl who had everything she didn't, and sometimes, the girl who took what she could have away from her.

After all, Tori Vega was the exact opposite of her. She was honest, prissy, often too determined; the only person who could stand against Jade West other than Beck Oliver. She had a happy family, friends who loved her, and even Jade West's now-ex-boyfriend, who had always been close to her despite knowing how uncomfortable she felt when he was. And sometimes, Jade knew that Tori got the roles she yearned to act for, the songs she could've sung for, not because she was better but because she was less terrifying —less of a gank— than Jade was. And everyone always favored Tori Vega.

That's why Jade doesn't hesitate to take up Tori's position on the Platinum Music Awards, when she was offered the chance to replace her. Because for once, someone chose her over Tori Vega, and somehow that meant so much more to her than she thought.

Because if Tori could be happy with Beck and everything else, then why wasn't she allowed to be?

But Beck doesn't get that. Instead, he chooses to drag his friend in his scheme to take revenge on his ex-girlfriend, unknown to Tori Vega. But at the same time, the part of him that was still hurting over Jade West just wanted to seek comfort; and that part of him had been so blinded in the frustration over his breakup, that he tries to kiss his friend. He attempts to kiss Tori, oblivious to the fact that Jade West was watching from the other side of the camera, breaking into pieces.

To think that Tori would be the one to push the other away.

"Then why can't we kiss?" when Beck pops that question, Jade doesn't even know why she was still listening. She wondered if it was the bad habit in her that sought out pain; pain that made her feel like she was in control, pain that could have destroyed her.

"Because of Jade." Tori reminds him, and at that moment Jade felt both guilt and betrayal. Guilty—that she was out to get Tori Vega all this time, when she should have trusted her instead of Beck Oliver. Betrayed—because whether or not Tori agreed to the kiss, Beck managed to throw away the remaining trust she had in him.

The boy manages to snap of it when Tori rejects him. But in both suppressed anger and surprise, he even finds himself talking shit about Jade. He couldn't accept how Tori still had a high opinion of her despite the things she did. He couldn't understand how Tori could forgive Jade after the crap Jade put her through, while he couldn't even get over their break-up.

A part of him hates her because she was the one who walked out on him. But in truth, he knew that he couldn't hate her even if he tried; because his actions stemmed from the bitter feelings, he held against her for the pain that resulted from their breakup.

He finally calms down when Tori talks to him about how she couldn't do that to Jade—how she saw her as a friend, and she doesn't want to throw off the group's friendship. He finally realizes that he was a complete asshole. But Jade doesn't witness the next scene, shutting Cat's laptop before it happens.

"Sorry" Beck confesses, because it finally sunk in that he almost proved Jade's insecurities right. That she was right to get mad at him for getting close to Tori Vega because something could happen. That if he had successfully made a move on the other girl, he would never have a chance to take Jade back.

"You still mad at Jade?" Tori looks at him knowingly, as if she saw through his act the same way he noticed that she had been acting horridly as per the producer's orders.

"It's not—"

It's not anger, was what he wanted to say. He wasn't sure about his feelings, but he knew they were ugly and painful. Beck was never the person who was sensitive to his emotion. More often than not, he was detached— numb, empty and bored—but Jade West came into the picture. And now that she was gone, he was reminded of his old self; he realizes how much he needs her, just as she needed him.

"I still love her," he tells Tori, and his voice almost cracks as he looks away from his friend, while he ruffled his soft hair. "I love her so damn much that everything seems like blur."

He couldn't differentiate pain from comfort; or his stupid actions from what was right.

Tori punches his shoulder playfully, hoping to brighten up the mood, "Then what are you waiting for?"

His close friend pulls his hand to lead them out the door, as she says—almost demandingly—"We have to be there for her during her performance, even if...you know"

But nevertheless, in less than a few hours, Jade returns the spot to Tori, as she takes a seat beside Beck. And when Beck realizes how much she's grown, he smiles at her, even though he was dying inside. He realizes how low he fell, that a part of him is frustrated that he couldn't change for the better, much like Jade had.

He hated the fact that couldn't get himself to hate her, that he had been trying to so hard to hide the fact that he still loved her. Though, he knows better than to involve his personal problems with his work.

So, when he creates his semester project, he still casts her to be part of it. He knows that if anyone can pull of the dumb blonde, it would be Jade. Because he really respected her talent, and he always found himself amused by the way she completely immerses herself in character whenever she played a role, even if the character was someone she had nothing in common with.

Although the film viewing didn't exactly go as well as planned, with the whole bird fiasco. He was pretty bummed by the fact that not only was the viewing cut short, his friends had also walked out in the middle of the showing, with the exception of his ex-girlfriend.

He was surprised to find that Jade West remained seated as the short film was put on play, while Andre and the rest had some other business to attend to. When the film ends, he immediately makes his way to her, as the rest of the audience exit the Black Box theater.

It's been a while since they've been on good terms, but he was never left alone with Jade ever since the breakup. They hung out with their other friends more often, and it was nice to explore outside their constricted circle, but sometimes he missed this.

"Hey," he catches her attention when he takes the seat right next to hers. "How was it?"

Jade was honestly good critic if she liked you. She would give reviews and criticism, and her suggestions oftentimes saved his ass. Jade West took both music and theater seriously, and it was one of the many things he loved about her. It was one of the things he missed.

"I still don't get why I have to play the dumb one," she crosses her legs, and quirks an eyebrow at him.

"That's because... you know" he tries to find the right words, "you're talented."

"At being a ditzy idiot? Smooth, Oliver. It's almost like you're asking me to punch your face" she scoffs, despite the small smile that forms on her lips.

God, he missed her. He missed this playful side of her, the one that loved using his words against him.

"Well then, thank you for staying to watch the film, and deciding not punching my face."

"Well, I figured it sucks to be you seeing as none of your friends sat through your stupid project"

"Well then, how about you celebrate with this lonely boy instead?"

She looks at him as if he was a complete and utter idiot, as if he just forgot who she was and who he was now in her life.

"Alone with you? No." She immediately snaps but Beck chooses not to relent. As if he would just let the opportunity get past him. Besides, if there was one thing he knew about Jade, it was that giving up was never a good thing.

"Please, oh powerful witch of the west, who happens to be my only good friend who stayed and watched my project?" he pleads, earning an eye roll from the raven-haired girl.

"God, I want to stab you."

He doesn't give up, instead he looks at her with wide eyes that were begging her to go. Jade was weak to persistence; it was one of the few reasons Cat often got away with things.

"Stop being so melodramatic," Jade tells him, and it takes a few seconds before he finally gets the answer he's been waiting for, "I'll go."

"But only because I want to" she insists, that it had nothing to do with his puppy-dog eyes or the fact that he was the one who asked.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

Time flies quickly as they have dinner at Nozu. It was surprisingly fun, because it was the first time, they completely put the breakup way past them. They split the bill because Jade insisted that it wasn't a date. Then, they decide to part ways.

But right before they head home, the blue-eyed girl remembers how she was never able to retrieve the stuff she left at Beck's RV. She thinks the perfect time to finally get them, much to Beck's dismay, because clearing up her stuff from the RV meant that they really were over.

It had been months since she last step foot in his RV that, in some way, had always felt like her home.

It was a place full of memories, because back when they were dating Jade often insisted to stay home instead of 'spending time on some cliche crap that was ripped off of romance movies.' They didn't go out to fancy dinner dates, they didn't watch overrated movies in the cinemas (unless it was a total bust), they didn't ride ferris wheels or walked in the beach during sunsets.

In the three years they spent together they may not have done cliches, but every moment was special. The times they washed his RV together; the times they spent cuddled in bed; the times they spent staying up at night, watching horror movies that Jade so loved or other films he requested. There were even times when they did pointless things like play board games or cut up paper with Jade's favorite scissors, and of course he goes scissor shopping with his girlfriend. Apart from those, they also had late night drives and midnight jams, because even if Beck wasn't a singer, he absolutely adored Jade's voice.

He missed all that. He missed her.

And perhaps due to the nostalgia and sentimental reminder of the girl he loved standing inside his RV, one thing leads to one thing to another. Before they even realize it, their lips meet each other's, and it was hard to tell who initiated what; because they were both caught up in their desire to be with the other. Neither one of them let go or pull away, until clothes fall on the floor, and they bask in the warmth of their bodies, enjoying the proximity they yearned. They call each other's names seductively, endearingly and repeatedly.

By the end of it all, it's like they snap out of their trance as they lay in his bed together. They don't move away from each other as he continues to hold her right beside him, in the spot of his bed that he so often kept for her. The spot in his bed that felt empty when they broke up.

Because that was kicker, wasn't it? You never realize what you have until it's gone.

"So..." Beck was the first one to speak up, "What's going to happen to us?"

He clings unto the small hope that everything was falling back into place. That they were okay again, that they were together again. And then, all hell comes loose.

"Shit," she curses and almost immediately he knows that it wasn't a good sign.

"Jade?" he sits up and faces her, trying to get a good look at her face to decipher what she was feeling.

"Oh my god," The girl immediately jolts up and puts a hand on her temples as she finally realizes what they've done, "I'm a fucking idiot"

"Hey" He grabs her by her wrists, trying to calm her down, "It's normal for two exes to hook up—"

"I can't. Not with you" she looks horrified. She looked at him as if this was one big mistake even though they weren't even drunk when they did it. It hurt him to see her like this.

"Why?" he manages to ask, despite the lump that formed in his throat. He couldn't understand how it was easy for her to forget and walk away. Again.

But with one look in her eyes, he sees a flicker of pain. It makes him weak. He remembers the Jade West that came knocking on his RV late at night. The girl he wrapped his arms around and kissed to sleep. He knows he couldn't do that anymore; and before he could even say anything else, before he could tell her that he missed her, before he could admit that he still loves her, she speaks up first.

"Because it's you, Beck!" she exclaims in voice full of both hurt and rage. And for once she was honest with him. "I loved you so damn much that when we were still dating, I couldn't even remember the Jade West that existed before you came into the picture."

She didn't tell him she loved him that often, but he remembered every single time. And right then, he just wanted to stop his act. He wanted to stop pretending he was okay. He wanted to tell her that he was miserable without her.

But before he could even speak, she's already putting her clothes on in a hurry, and grabbing her bag but leaving the box of her things that remained in the RV. She was one step ahead of him as she says, "Just forget this. We can't do this again."

"Jade—" Beck tries to talk to her, but to no avail he can't even speak when she keeps cutting him off.

"You broke up with me."

That was unfair.

"You walked out on me!" he retorts, inwardly cursing himself because now was not the time to pick a fight with her.

"I gave you a choice, Beck" she spat back, and his heart sinks. Because she was right, and he hated himself every moment that he was reminded of the fact that he didn't open the stupid door.

And he couldn't even say another word as she walks out the door for a second time. A taste in his mouth remains, as her words pierced through him. It felt like the bitter aftertaste of coffee that he grew to hate having been reminded of how fond she was of it.

His actions never really backed up his words. In fact, it made it easier to doubt him. Because what was natural for Beck Oliver, wasn't the same with Jade West. That's why jealousy had always been her thing, because despite what he says, she experienced more than enough to have a cynical view of the world.

Because while Beck Oliver was too friendly and too kind, Jade West was scared that it would make other people like him more than they already do. Because while he saw friendship with other girls, she saw threat and competition, aggravated by her insecurities.

But sometimes she did have a point; a reason to feel that way, especially when it came to Tori Vega. Because (1) he didkiss her on her second day of school; (2) he did try to make a move on her, when Jade took her spot in the Platinum Music Awards; and (3) even if he denies it Tori Vega was attracted to Beck Oliver, despite how she refused his advances. Had Jade not been on good-but-not-so-good terms with Tori, she would probably be dating him right then.

That's why, when Tori reminds him that she can't go alone with him that one Saturday, because then it would be a date, it actually takes him awhile to realize that it would be. But he doesn't think anything would be wrong with two friends hanging out. For Christ's sake, Jade hangs out with Andre, why can't he decide who he can spend time with? Even if Beck did try to kiss Tori, he was broken up with Jade. And despite that one time they hooked up, Jade made it perfectly clear that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with him.

They tried to make it as unsuspicious to everyone, but the more they seem to deny the fact that it was a date, the more people were convinced it was. And it turns out, their denial only made it worse because the way they hid it from Jade and everyone else only caused suspicion.

Beck was often misleading, and when Jade West finds out from Cat Valentine instead of the two 'friends', his chances of getting her back seemed to be slimming down. Jade was affected, and if he had done it a few months back, he would have clearly witnessed the same explosion of her jealousy that were sometimes too much to bear.

Thus, Jade doesn't resist the chance to follow them around on their opposite date. Because she can vividly recall how what happened the night of the Platinum Music Awards. And perhaps a part of her was just eager to know—eager to just peel off the band-aid— if Beck was just after her because he couldn't get Tori. Aside from that, a part of her also wondered if Tori really was someone she could really call a friend.

Beck's closeness with Tori had always been an issue in his relationship with Jade. He had a habit of getting close to anyone, and although she put up with his friendship with the other girls, it was always easy to pick a fight when Tori was involved in the conversation.

He could never understand why Jade was always wary of them, until the moment they spent awhile waiting at the vet.

An outsider's perspective was, more often than not, unhelpful. In the first place, it was what ruined his relationship with the girl he loved. But somehow, he finds the opinions of the people waiting in the animal clinic, spot on.

The moment the old lady beside them made suggestive comments —that if they weren't brother and sister, they'd probably dating— had them on the edge. Somehow Tori even brings Jade into the conversation as they try to the defend that there wasn't any underlying feelings, they had towards each other.

Eventually, other people enter the conversation.

"If I could chime in, I think what she's saying is maybe his ex-girlfriend, um..."

"Jade?"

"Maybe she still likes this boy with the hair."

Beck sheepishly informs them, to prove a point, "Uh... She kinda walked out on me."

Twice, he wanted to add, recalling how he agonized the fact that Jade believes she was a better person without him. He still remembers that last time he ever kissed her, and how he let her walk out him after they agreed to never speak about that night.

"That doesn't mean she ain't still got feelings for you," another stranger points out.

God, he wishes it was true. Because if it were, it would mean that he could still have her back, because honestly, he was wreck without her.

Although, he wasn't really expecting the next question because it was also the very question, he so often reprimanded himself for.

"So why did you let Jade go?" the old lady asks, and another man chimes in, "Yeah, why'd you let her go?"

"I didn't let her go!" Beck defends himself. He really had enough of this conversation.

"You know, I really don't want to talk about this here" He tells them, attempting to keep his cool, as he looks toward the clinic's door, wondering when their ointment would be ready.

"He's afraid to face his feelings" everyone nods in agreement, and he just wanted to bury himself in a hole.

"No!" Beck exclaims, keeping his pride intact, although he did seem pretty attacked.

"Okay... I'll always love Jade" he trails on before correcting himself, "...a-as a friend." Hesitation was evident in his voice. "But as a girlfriend, she was—she'd always freak out over every little thing."

He partially spoke the truth. When he was dating Jade, her trust had always been something he couldn't attain. And although he did his best to get close enough, there was a part of the girl that was always closed off. And that part of her scares him, because he didn't exactly know how to assure her; because no matter how much he tried, he also failed. Beck was well aware that Jade never counted on him—or at least, not completely. And having to exert so much just to get her to do so, often made him feel pathetic. He didn't know if he was the right person for her.

"Sometimes girls do that, because we get scared inside" a young girl from behind him joins in.

"And we need a man to make us feel safe," the older woman agrees.

He hates how the kid was actually dead on. They were right.

But Tori was oblivious that. So, she tries to defend Beck's side, "Woah now. Trust me, Jade isn't scared of anything"

He took advantage of her strength. Perhaps he always overestimated how tough Jade West was, that he never tried hard enough to know more about her pain and insecurities, because he was so busy trying to defend himself instead. Jade had always been scared, but he never he even knew what exactly she was afraid of, because she'd always lash out in anger rather than confess her emotions.

Nevertheless, he was finally coming into terms with what she thought. After all, if strangers were mistaking him for having a date Tori, then that would make any girlfriend uncomfortable, wouldn't it?

In fact, despite how much they tried to clear their name, the issue just got bigger and bigger, until they faced the fact that having kept it a secret from Jade, made it a lot more suspicious. And right as they talked about her, the said girl walks in the vet with Cat in tow.

"Jade"

Almost immediately, they try to explain to her what was happening, in hopes she won't lash out or let her rage take over. Nevertheless, their audience really weren't helping in making less of an issue than it already was.

"They broke up Tori has every right to go out with Beck" the old lady states her opinion.

And she did. Jade knew that, but she a part of her couldn't simply turn-off her emotions. But this time, she had them under control. Beck wasn't hers anymore, it would've been unreasonable for her to act out her jealousy. She knows he could do better, and she just loves him so much that she believes that he had every right to be happy after how he put up with her.

But somehow, she didn't want to leave just yet.

The little girl muses as they all just stood there, in the middle of the waiting room, "Hey beck, which one of them do you think is prettier?"

Beck looks at Jade awkwardly, as if he it was an answer to the young girl's question, but he knows it would be rude to Tori. So, when Jade looks up at him with a smile, expecting a straight an answer, expecting the exact words to help her move on; he doesn't say anything, but he keeps his eyes on her until Tori turns to look at him.

He chuckles nervously, trying to avert the spectator's attention, "Why don't you go check your mom's pulse?"

The half Latina takes the opportunity to clear up the misunderstanding, as she turns to Jade, "You got no right to get mad at us, 'cause Beck and I aren't—"

"I'm—I'm not" Jade cuts her off, to their surprise.

"You're not—What?" Tori looks at her as if she misheard.

Jade answers calmy, "I'm not mad."

Cat jumps from her seat, "Careful it's a trick!"

"It's not a trick!" Jade emphasizes, "I thought I was mad but... Now that I'm here what do I have to be mad about?"

It was the most reasonable she had been.

"We broke up. We're all friends. Kinda." the raven-haired girl states, "I mean any of us should be able to hang out with whoever we want."

"Still thinking it's a trick," Cat insists, knowing that Jade was likely forcing herself.

"It's not."

Beck Oliver walks towards her to make sure of it himself. He looks her in the eye, trying to see past the mask Jade West puts on, "You're really okay?"

"Yeah" she breathes out with a nod and a smile, although a part of her was not. If Beck was happy then she would be too.

He notices that look in her eyes, but he doesn't call her out on it. In the three years they've been together, more often than not, he could tell how she felt by looking into her blue orbs. Although, he probably should have done so, when they broke up, because they'd have gotten back together almost immediately.

But he accepts her lie, because it showed him just how much she grew as a person in the span of time they were apart. He accepts her lie, although it does make him a tad bit sad and little lonely.

"Thats..." he trails on, "pretty cool."

And they look at each other, both with a smile on their faces.

He hates how his pride always got the best of him, because he knows it was unfair that Jade suppressed her feelings during his opposite date with Tori, but here he was clenching his jaw as he was overwhelmed by jealousy at how she was trying to come unto Moose.

The moment he finds out that Moose made out with Jade during their Tinkle-Aid event, he could've sworn that he almost lashed out, envious of how Jade acted around his old friend. Although the boys were already irritated with the fact that the three girls kept blowing them off in their continued attempts of wooing Moose, the fact that Jade was one of them seemed to make his mood worse.

Beck Oliver worked so damn hard to get Jade West to date him, and yet here she was practically throwing herself at the boy; using her favorite movie, dressing up in that gown, touching him willingly and dragging him to places.

Beck was well aware that if Jade West didn't push her pursuers away, then she could definitely switch boyfriends every week if she wanted to. She was hot and cool (like she says), and she could seduce anyone easily if she wanted to. Unlike Tori and Cat, who pretended to act like someone they were not, Jade didn't. And that was exactly why he was worried that out of the three girls, his friend would choose the girl that he had loved for the last three years.

Unknown to him, Jade West didn't like Moose that much. Yes, she did try to catch his attention. Yes, she was attracted to his appearance. Yes, she did make out with him instead of driving straight to Karaoke Dokie. But despite all that, the person she thought of when she kissed the Canadian boy, was her ex-boyfriend.

Despite being the one who first made a move, Jade had also been the one who first pulled away. She remembers Beck, and thinks that nothing could ever beat kissing Beck, that she didn't want any other Canadian —because unlike some cute boy she was after, Beck was the boy she was in love with. She realizes that she was so drunk on winning the competition against Cat and Tori, and possibly influenced by the feelings she suppressed when she interrupted Beck's date with Tori.

They drive to attend the fundraising event that the boys worked hard for, but she doesn't say anything else nor does she act like she's still interested. It was an awkward drive back, but the boy doesn't ask questions. Nevertheless, when Moose finally manages to hang out with Beck at his RV that evening, he tells her what happened, and he apologizes when he learns that she was Beck's ex-girlfriend.

When Beck tells Andre what happens, he was surprised to find his best friend ringing the doorbell of his RV at one in the morning, carrying a couple bottles of vodka. It was so early in the morning that he doesn't even question his appearance, and just let's him in.

"So, what's up with that?" Beck asks him, gesturing towards the Malt beverages he brought with him.

"I brought some solutions for your dilemma," Andre just answers casually, as he hands him a bottle.

"How'd you even get this?" the other boy reminds him of how they were underage, yet he still opens it.

"I know a guy"

"And you're suggesting we just drink all night?"

"Nah, I just need you drunk enough to talk to you about Jade, man" Andre chuckles at him, acting like it wasn't such a big deal.

"Dude"

"Beck, you oughta face your feelings at some point" He gives his friend a knowing look, "I came all the way here to get you these drinks and give you some input."

"Input, really?" Beck asks, as if he wasn't buying Andre's solution to his problems.

"Answer me this: How do you feel about Jade?"

"Andre" Beck is adamant to answer. He thought about it enough and at this point, he'd rather not say it out loud, because he knows it would just make everything real and the feelings he suppressed would stop him from moving on.

"C'mon dude" Andre refuses to back down, knowing that Beck had been holding back for so long. He never heard anything about Jade come out from his best friend's mouth ever since the breakup. But he could tell.

Andre Harris could see it from the way he looked at her. The way they looked at each other. The way Jade spoke about him. The way Beck still wore their necklace. It was obvious that they were still in love with each other. And Andre wasn't going to settle for no as an answer.

"Okay!" Beck admits defeat when neither of them speak for nearly ten minutes.

"I'm still in love with Jade West. I never stopped loving her since I told you about her the first time we met. I was so stupid not to open the goddamn door twice, and I can't even be happy for her when she's so close to moving on. Dammit, Andre."

He spoke so fast that Andre barely got enough time to absorb all the words he just said.

"Whoa. I didn't know you were that whipped" the musically-blessed boy remarked, surprised by how his friend exceeded his expectation.

Beck runs a hand through his hair, exasperated, before Andre pulls out a notebook from his bag. It was used, evidently shown by its dog-eared pages and messy creases. The boy hands it to his friend, "I brought you this."

"What is it?"

"Every song I ever wrote," Andre answers, "I used to get inspiration to write some from you and Jade."

"You did?" Beck is surprised to learn something new; that Andre looked that close into his relationship.

"Yeah, I thought the things you tell me would actually sound great in a song" the boy tells his friend before gesturing towards the notebook. "Go on."

Beck flips through the pages, reading through each one, until Andre stops him when he reads through Tell Me That You Love Me. He was reminded of the time Tori and Andre sang to pay for their bill, and somehow, he was reminded of the words Jade so often told him.

The situations turns around enough to figure out

That someone else has let you down

So many times I don't know why

But I know we can make it as long as you say it

So tell me that you love me yeah

And tell me that I take your breath away

And maybe if you take one more

then I would know for sure

There's nothing left to say

Tell me that you love me anyway

"You got this from out Slap videos?" Beck couldn't help but wonder, recalling the moments Jade asked him to tell her he loves her on camera.

"Yep."

"So, it's about what Jade used to say?"

"No. I thought it'd be nice to turn the tables around" Andre manages to surprise him even more. "I based on you. I've never heard Jade tell you she loves you, and sometimes I wondered if you get off on her jealousy, you know"

"I kinda did" Beck chuckles, as he finds himself amused by how well his friend knows him. Although he never told Andre about his insecurities, it was amazing to witness how he was able to see a glimpse of it.

When he flips the pages until Song 2 You, he was surprised to learn that part of it was also about them. It was one of the many performances of Andre, in which Beck had kissed Jade. It was a song that reminded him of them, but he never honestly thought it was about them. After all, it was written based on Favorite Foods, Andre simply rewrote the lyrics to catch the music producer's attention after his reputation was ruined by the Diddly-Bops video that spread online.

I don't know what you been used to

Never been with a girl like you

But I can give you a love that's true to

Your heart, not material things

"I got reminded by all the times I called you crazy for liking her," Andre reminds him of their freshman year. The many times Beck insisted Jade was different, and the times Andre told him that she was a bad different. Nevertheless, Andre knows that even if they weren't a normal couple, they really did like each other. And he was one of the few who actually supported their relationship.

A couple more lyrics later, Beck finds the song Andre wrote with Jade. It was entitled Okay. Reading it, he was immediately reminded of her, the way she wrote, the way her voice was always full of emotion, the way she hummed as she waited for him in the coffee shop. He stops, without Andre even telling him to.

There is no upper hand, I'm giving you mine

It doesn't have to end up wasting your time

There's things that I could say

But hear in my way

I want to let you know

That's it's all okay

"This is..." Beck couldn't even any words to say. But he feels more than a hundred things all at once, something that only happened when it came to Jade.

"Jade wrote the chorus. You should've heard her sing it, anyone would fall for her after hearing it. I know I did" Andre accidentally blurts out and right then Beck immediately snaps out of his thoughts and looks at his friend.

It takes a couple of moments when Andre realizes what he said. His eyes widened. He was horrified as he notices how Beck's jaw tightened. Before he could even clear up the misunderstanding and tell his friend that it was just a quick crush, Beck beat him to it.

"You had a thing for Jade, when we were still dating?" Beck unknowingly raises his voice.

"It was just a crush!" Andre defends himself. It was just a moment when he was weak against Jade smile, because at that night he realized that Beck was right, and there was something irresistible about the girl. But he put his friendship with Beck first.

Recalling how Andre was never able to hide his feelings, Beck realizes how wonky Andre was acting back then; how Andre was looking at them —at Jade— the whole time he performed 365 days with Tori. He immediately flips the page to see the original version of the song.

"Dude" Beck throws a pillow at his friend so quickly that Andre couldn't even dodge it.

"I wrote that song to get over her! I am over her!" Andre defends, confessing his reasons "I swear I didn't make a move—I wouldn't dare to make a move on my best friend's girl, man! You know I don't play that way!"

"Okay" Beck lets out a sigh, taking another gulp from his third bottle. He knows his friend, and it was really nice of him not to do anything for his sake. He knows Andre treasured their friendship; it was easy to forgive him that way.

"You really cool?" his friend looks at him warily.

"Let me hit you one last time," Beck swiftly throws another pillow at him, and moves on from the current topic. Andre accepts his punishment and doesn't even bother shielding himself as it hits him in the face.

"Anyways," Andre trails on and finally averts the topic. He tells Beck what he came for, "I only realized it a few days back, that she could've written it about you."

"What?" Beck asks to see where the conversation was going.

"Look, I don't think Jade's over you, man" Andre tells him. "I think she cared more than you think."

When Beck and Jade had broken up, Andre had been hanging out alone with her more than he expected. His feelings didn't resurface as he got closer to her, instead they strengthen their platonic bond. And although she was his best friend's ex-girlfriend, he cared about her like his many other friends. He could tell that she wasn't completely over him by the way she asked him about how Beck had been doing.

"Even if that's the case, she's not interested in getting back together with me" the aspiring actor insisted, while Andre gives him a knowing look.

"That never stopped you when you were trying get her to like you" he reminds his friend about all the memories they had; the times she walked away, the coffee she poured on his hair, the scissor threats or the doors she shut in his face.

Andre continues to speak for him, "Just make sure you don't regret anything, man. You've been a wreck without her. And we don't like seeing you this way either."

His best friend's words seem to resonate with him because Beck Oliver finally comes to terms with his thoughts, his faults and his regrets. He knows he's been passive. He knows he let her walk out him more than once. But more than anything else, he knows he can't afford to let go of her.

He knows what he had to do; and he finally got the courage to do it.

songs used:

tell me that you love me; victoria justice (ft. leon thomas iii)
song 2 you; victoria justice (ft. leon thomas iii)
okay; backhouse mike (ft. elizabeth gillies)