a/n: i decided to divide the fourth chapter into two because it ended up being too long, so this fic will be extended to five chapters
based on the following episodes: cell block (4x05) tori fixes beck and jade (4x06)
disclaimer: victorious & its characters belong to its respective owner.
iv. it doesn't have to end up wasting your time
their feelings and the in-betweens
Jade West did not expect to hear the small thuds that erupted from the glass door of her bedroom's balcony at nearly eleven in the evening. She's been scribbling in her journal, writing random script plots and song lyrics, as she agonized the bet they made with Sikowitz earlier that week; in which they were to refrain from using any sort of technology that wasn't made before he was born.
She couldn't stop tapping her pen on the table, as she itches to use her phone, or at least listen to some music while she was coming up with something else to do, like cutting up papers with her favorite pair of scissors. Her annoyance was simply aggravated by the pebbles thrown at the glass. So, she gets up from the table to walk over the balcony to scream at whoever dared to disturb her.
At first, she expected it to be some kids in the neighborhood trying to get away with a prank, or maybe Cat who probably had nothing better to do —or maybe even Sinjin with all the weird stalker crap he does. Yet the person standing outside her house, was the last person she even expected to talk to that night.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" she mouths to her ex-boyfriend, whose truck was parked in their driveway.
Figuring that he wouldn't be able to hear her, she lets out an exasperated sigh, as she motions for him to come up her room. Turns out spending the night at Tori's house, pinning Cat down was not the worst thing she had to deal with that evening.
Beck Oliver climbs up the tree in front of her window and manages to land safely on her balcony, the same way he used to do so just a few years back. Jade crosses her arms, clearly unamused, "What do you want, trespasser?"
"I'm here to kidnap you" he tells her almost proudly, and she resists the urge to punch his pretty face.
"And they think I'm insane" Jade scoffs.
"As if you have anything better to do" he counters, but she rolls her eyes yearning to push her ex-boyfriend off the fence.
"Get to the point, Oliver" she insisted, patience wearing thin.
"Well, I couldn't call you, 'cause you know," he shrugs, reminding her how they couldn't use their phones, "And I wanted to ask if you wanted to come over and hang out"
"I swear to God if you're asking for sex, I'm going to castrate you," she threatens him.
"Relax, Jade," he puts his hands up defensively before telling her, "I just wanted to talk. Couldn't sleep, and there's nothing better to do."
"That's really all?" her eyebrow quirks up.
"And I figured you wouldn't let me into your room," he reasons out.
He was right, there was no way she'd be inviting him to her room now that they were broken up. And she could possibly risk waking her little brother up or having her mother learn of the visitor she had over at nearly midnight. Not to mention that there was also a part of her was also bored out of her mind, and curious to what he had in store. Yeah, he got her.
"Fine. Let me grab my stuff" She gives in, and walks back indoors, but not before reminding him that she was still the one in control. "I'm coming because I want to, not because you said so."
"Right, Right. I'll wait in my truck" Beck let's it pass as he climbs over the fence once more.
When they arrive in Beck's RV, Jade easily settles in as if it were an old habit. She sits by the foot of his bed as she watches him scramble around his home in search of some snacks and some beverages. She catches sight of the scratch on his cheek that he got from none other than Jessica Baxton, after ignoring a hundred of her texts; and recalling how he looked like a mess when he came into class after being both scratched and egged made Jade snicker.
"What?" Beck asks as he catches her from the corner of his eye.
"Just wondering if it still hurts"
"Yeah, little bit"
"Heh" she smiles smugly, as if it was karma that awaited him, "That's what you get for attracting the crazy girls"
"Jokes on you, I managed to date you" he counters nonchalantly, much to her annoyance.
"Ass"
Beck sits down beside her as soon as he hands her a bottle of store-bought coffee (to get on her good side). But as soon as he sits down, he remembered just how much he missed this. And though it had been partially awkward for Jade, considering the last two times she had been there (1) they hooked up and (2) she and the other girls were fighting over Moose. A part of her hopes that he wouldn't bring it up, so she gets to the point before he gets the chance to control the conversation.
"So, what did you have in mind, Oliver?"
"A game," he shrugs, taking a sip of his own drink, "Twenty-one questions."
If her coffee hadn't tasted so damn good, she knows she would have poured it over him and walked out his door. Instead, she lets him explain his nonsense, "What are you, a middle schooler?"
It was a pathetic excuse of a heart-to-heart conversation, using some stupid party game like spin the bottle to get her to spill her secrets. She truly would have killed him if she wasn't too busy appreciating her coffee.
"Well, we never talked about the breakup. And it might help us get closure," he admits and almost immediately she'd rather say no, but she hesitates. After all, a part of her was curious about his life after the breakup. A part of her knows she won't get over him so easily.
But still, "That is sappy even for you."
Beck pulls out a new pair of black scissors and another bottle of coffee and sets it in front of her, before asking again, "Please?"
"This is bribery" she states. And he knows it.
But Jade gives in anyway, though she made her very own conditions, "Thirteen questions combined. I go first"
Typical Jade West, he thinks, knowing she had the upper hand with an extra question to ask. But he knows it was the most he can get, so he lets her.
"One," she began, "Who was the last girl you went on a date with?" The first step in getting to know your ex is finding out if he really does have feelings for Tori Vega, her sworn enemy, despite how much he denied it.
"You're really starting with that?" he asks her, reminded of how ridiculous she could be.
"Yes. Now, answer" Jade demands, she didn't want to waste a second in nonsense.
"I wouldn't call it a date but some Northridge girls just kinda got in my car" he answers truthfully. He hadn't gone out with anyone else, and he wouldn't call that one time he hung out with Tori, a date. Sure, girls still came after him, but even if he had a hard time declining, he was starting to learn of roundabout ways to reject them. He sure as hell didn't want to date a new girl when he still had feelings for his ex. But Jade didn't know that.
"Typical"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You never say know when to say no!" she argues, reminding him of the past, "I always had to scare them off"
"We're seriously going to fight about this?" he lets out a sigh, but he knows he would rather fight with her rather than have her walk away again.
"Fine, your turn."
Beck doesn't hesitate to get personal, asking the one question he always wanted to ask her, "How were you since we broke up?"
"Ecstatic." Sarcasm drips in her voice, but it doesn't stop his stomach from dropping.
"So, you really were doing good?" Beck tries to confirm if she really was telling the truth, because if it were, this whole thing would have just been a waste of time.
She notices the small flicker of disappointment in his eyes, and she heaves a sigh before admitting the truth, simultaneously using her turn, "Of course not, I was a mess. You?"
"Same," he agrees, and moves on to the next question, the one that had him so bothered that Andre had to come over and talk sense into him, "I heard you made out with Moose?"
"What's it to you?" she counters, remind him that he had no right questioning her choices. That he didn't have the right to get jealous and he was a hypocrite for doing so.
"I was just asking" he defends, and she rolls her eyes before answering.
"I did. I got too caught up in the competition."
"I get it" he tries to sound casual as he brushes it off once again, nevertheless he did not expect the next question coming.
"Really? Is that why you tried to kiss Vega?" she scoffs. Jade might never let him live that one off.
"How—"
"The call Cat started was still on" she cuts him off immediately with an answer. The mood immediately drops. And although she kept telling herself that they weren't together and she had no right to be jealous, it wasn't ever going to be easy trying to suppress her emotions. Of all people, why was it Tori Vega in the first place?
"I saw what you did. How she pulled away. How you even tried to convince her after that" Jade continued almost mockingly, and Beck knows he had to speak the truth because he always knew how she felt about Tori. How often, his friend or her not-so-friend, had been the root of countless of arguments.
"I wanted to get back at you," he tells her, although definitely not proud of it, "I was in a low spot. I hated how easy things seemed for you. I wanted to make you mad— I wanted to see if you still felt anything. It was a jerk move."
She nods but refrains from saying anything else. So, he takes it as a chance to take his turn.
"You were really cool with that time Tori and I hung out?" he repeats the question he asked her on his opposite date. Because although the four of them did end up spending time together the rest of the night, it seemed so unlikely of her to hold back on her anger.
"We already talked about that back then. Drop it" she tells him because it would be a waste of her sacrifice, if she did admit the truth.
But he doesn't relent, "Jade."
"Okay!" she groans, "I did mean it when I told you to go out with whoever you wanted to. But, I also felt... a bitbad. You kept sending mixed signals. You tried to kiss Tori, but you hooked up with me. You went on a date with her—"
"Not really a date!"
"—And you didn't even answer the little girl's question!"
"What question?"
"Which one of them do you think is prettier?" she helps him recall with a mocking accent, crossing her arms as she waits for him to answer.
Beck couldn't help the smile that formed on his lips. The smile that made her weak. The smile he used to give to her. He was so amused with how the Jade he knew was still there. The soft side of Jade he had a privilege of seeing. The side of her that adored bunnies, that pouted when he told her off, that always said please when he asked for the magic word. He hadn't seen it in so long and damn, it was one of the many things about her that he missed.
So, he doesn't regret inching closer beside her, and answering nonchalantly, "You were."
A smug grin immediately forms on her face, and she leans on his shoulder, "Of course I am. Next."
He rolls an eye at her response but puts an arm around her anyway. It takes a while before he manages to use his turn because, he didn't want to ruin. But he gathers courage to say it anyway, "Why, didn't you trust me in the entirety we dated?"
"Beck..." Jade pulls away as she lifts her head from his shoulder, to look him in the eye. She didn't know that he always thought of it that way. She always assumed that it was only something he told her when they fought, because she always freaked out from every girl who he even talked to. She never knew he took it seriously.
"It's just— It's been on my mind the entire time..."
"I did or at least I always tried to—," she answers his question while looking him in the eye, to let him know how much she meant it. "I always tried to convince myself to believe in you. Every. Single. Time."
She adds, "But sometimes I get scared, you know? And sometimes you love making me jealous, even if you know that some of those girls like you for real."
"Sorry," he apologizes although it may have been a couple of months too late. "Your turn."
She thinks carefully, wondering if he kept anything else from her. She always assumed that he always was fearless, that nothing would faze him, because he surely wasn't scared of her when they dated— he was an exception to all the other guys. He was the only one who fought back. But did Beck Oliver really hide his insecurities and opinions from her?
"While were confessing," she trails on before asking, "What did you hate about me the most?"
"Hate is a strong word"
"Which is why I always use it"
"Okay" he gives in, knowing there would be no end to it. "I couldn't tell what you were thinking. I knew how you felt—when you're scared, when you're sad or even when you're hurt— but I could never understand why you felt that way. And you always run away instead of explaining it"
She knows that. After all, it was a defense mechanism she often had.
"What were you so afraid of, anyway?" he returns the question, and she heaves a sigh before answering.
"You know that my parents are divorced, right?" she reminds him, and he answers with a nod. "I was afraid of relationships; of people leaving. My mom switches boyfriends every now and then, my dad doesn't give a shit about me because he's so happy with his new wife."
"Cat's too sweet, too innocent. I always believed that my problems would be too much for her. That's why, I only had you, and I couldn't afford to lose you" she admits before continuing, knowing that it would be a long conversation.
"My family broke apart when dad let us walk out on him. He never chased us, nor did he try to fix the family they built together. My mom was a wreck, she got knocked up by one of the guys she was dating to get over her failed marriage. But she got over it, she raised me and my brother as a single parent. And I learned in the same way that I had to be tough. I always thought that if I was the first one to walk away, then I would come out as the victor."
Beck feels sick after hearing about her parents. He was reminded of the way he let her walk out. Guilt builds up in his gut and thoughts ran through her head as he wondered how much he hurt her.
"After hearing everything people say, the disapproval over every single thing, whether it was going to an art school or whether it was dating you, their words eventually— It just gets to you. I was scared, but I always fought back because it was the only thing that I was good at. I didn't care as long as you stayed, but when I think about you changing your mind or leaving—I couldn't take that."
"You did so much, and sometimes I wondered how much you have to sacrifice until you finally leave. You always had to deal with me, deal with our fights, deal with your parents— God, your parents hated me. I didn't know what to do when ended up living in an RV, Beck"
"I moved for many reasons. But, they didn't hate you" he stops her midway.
Jade West was not exactly the type of girl that parents would want for their son. Any parent wouldn't choose her over a girl like sunshine like Tori Vega or a girl as sweet as cupcakes like Cat Valentine.
He knew they didn't approve his relationship with Jade, at first. The girl dyed her hair, had piercings, had a tattoo; she didn't appear to be the best influence. And she was also the reason why the door to his RV had to be repaired way too often than it should.
But what she didn't know was that before they were dating, his parents had always been too overbearing. They didn't approve of his choices, they always told him what to do. It was only when he knew her that she helped him stand up for himself. It was because of that that he was able to talk sense into them, and they were finally able to hear him out.
And he also knew how well his relationship with his parents turned out for the better. How they learned how to respect his choices, how they understood that he had to learn for himself at some point. And most especially, how they figured out how much Jade West made Beck Oliver happy. It was why she got invited on trips (although his other relatives disapproved).
"They were hesitant. They nagged me a lot" he corrects her, "And the last time you tried to do something nice, my dad got mauled by a dog. And they did want me to break up with you when we started dated, but eventually it turned into an inside joke. They found it amusing how you were polite to them, and how you acted all timid and obedient in contrast to your appearance"
"I am not timid" she glares at him. But she knows what he meant. She didn't do the whole meet-the-parentsthing, which was why she may have appeared a tad bit softer during their interaction (although she hated to admit it). What can she say? Sometimes she truly was unpredictable.
"They knew you helped me learn how to stand up for myself. And they knew I was happy to be with you" he assures her, ignoring her previous comment.
At that, she takes the chance to ask the big question, the reason they weren't together anymore. She was sick of beating around the bush and hoping for nothing. She had to know, because she could never understand why he did it.
"Then, why didn't you open the door?"
"I wasn't lying when I told you I wasn't happy with our relationship," he starts off, and she already feels the tears building up in her eyes. She thinks that it was a bad idea bringing it up, but he doesn't give her the chance to take it back.
"We weren't happy" Beck corrects himself, "But that didn't mean that I wanted to break it off. We fought too much, and the last few weeks we dated, we couldn't even have a decent conversation. One of us would always blow a fuse over the smallest things, and I knew it'd end eventually if it kept going."
Beck keeps going when he notices how she kept silent, "I know we'll always fight, it's our thing. I get that. But the ones that time were different, and I was tired of fighting you. And having that game show, having to hear what people had to say about us just exhausted me, because I didn't want us to turn out the way they said. I didn't want us to be the worst couple, and I think a part of me was freaked out about it."
"But I wanted to fix us," he takes her hand in his, "I didn't open the door because I underestimated our last fight. I thought we needed to cool down, and I'd eventually find you in my RV and we'd talk about thinks like we used to. It didn't sink in that it was really over until Cat lashed out on me and I couldn't talk to you."
"Cat did?" she repeats as if she misheard him. It was unlike Cat to do so and hearing about it made her smile. There was no one who wouldn't feel bad if sweet Caterina Valentine were to get upset by them. She was sure Beck would have felt guilty.
"Yeah" he chuckles.
"We're a mess" Jade breathes out, realizing how different their perspectives were, and he couldn't help but agree.
"Yeah, we are. We never really got to sit down and talk honestly like this," he points out and she leans back into his shoulder.
"It's too sappy, I'd rather not make it a habit" she tells him before he brings up his last question.
"Do you think we can still get back together?" Beck looks down at her, knowing it was his last turn, and that the girl was not likely to spare him another one.
Jade takes a couple of moments to speak up. She wasn't sure. The hesitation he observed from her, caused an unsettling feeling in his gut. He was nervous, a tad bit scared even, because he realizes that losing her might be his one fear. And her answer would change the course of their relationship from then on.
"Maybe" she tells him, but she doesn't pull away from him.
It was the truth. She doesn't think she's ready to get back so quickly. She wasn't sure if he would be able to back up his words, if they really had changed. But she'd love for there to be a time when they do get back together.
Things would be different. They both knew that, but nevertheless they knew they could never be apart forever.
She wasn't lying when she told him about how she forgot who she was before she met him. She knew that having to circle her life around him was big mistake on her part. She knew how dependent she got. She knew how that couldn't happen again. And that was exactly why she wanted them to take their time, to find where everything should be put together. And he gets that, that's why he doesn't dare to ask what they would be from now on.
"Do you still love me?" Jade asks the thirteenth question, just seeking for confirmation.
And Beck doesn't hesitate when he answers, even though he knew that she wouldn't say it back, "Who said I stopped?"
His lips met hers and she doesn't pull away. She kisses him back after insisting that it won't be a habit. That tonight was an exception. They had felt closer than they had been in years. They don't label their relationship; but they knew that it was finally all okay—they were going to be okay.
That night they fall asleep cuddling in bed, finally feeling the comfort and security of being in each other's arms. When they wake up that morning, it felt as if their routine was back to normal. She dressed in the clothes she never got back from his RV and stole one his old flannel shirts. He couldn't help but take note of how he loved seeing her in them.
He drops her off at the Jet Brew near school, because he knows that she always needs coffee, and they agreed not to mention about anything about their relationship in public. They wanted to take their time away from the eyes of the everyone who always meddled in their business far too much.
But he does ask, "Are you coming over tonight?"
And she answers, "Yes."
"But I'll be late because we'll be restraining Cat at Vega's house, and we have to come up with some plan to beat your asses" Jade adds reminding him of their little bet with Sikowitz.
She maintains her fiery personality that he loves so much, and that glint in her eyes she had when she was driven to win against a competition. It was nothing like the soft Jade West he had seen last night.
But he doesn't mind, because he found himself fond of both sides of her.
Beck Oliver knows that things were never going to be that easy. They might have fallen back in their routine of falling asleep in each other's arms, and she does hitch a ride with him from time to time. They kiss, but it was more of quick pecks than the make-out sessions they used to have. They took their pace slowly in contrast to how they've already done nearly everything together.
But he knows that that wouldn't be all it took. If that was all it took to repair a relationship, then divorces and breakups would be close to nonexistent.
Though, he was slowly changing. In fact, although he used to find it difficult to reject girls, he was now able to make excuses without hurting their feelings and escape their clutches by constantly insisting he had to something to do that time. It wasn't too blunt nor was it as straightforward as Jade West's typical 'NO!', but he was getting somewhere.
Although somehow, his friends made it harder. Because Tori Vega, apparently won't allow him to reject Meredith, with his pathetic excuse of counting the nickels and quarters that he collected.
"I don't actually have a jar of coins!" he tells Tori the obvious, trying to get his friend off his back.
"Nooo" Tori says with sarcasm, waiting for him to explain himself.
Beck simply tells her the issue, "I can't hang out with Meredith, okay?"
"Why not? She's cute and totally likes you" the half Latina points out, and he immediately looks at Jade's direction to make sure she wasn't aware of anything that just happened.
"Shhh!" he hushes Tori, not wanting to ruin what he was working on with Jade. He didn't want a fight to emerge soon especially after how well things were going.
"Why do I have to shhh?" Tori mocks him, and he swears that he hopes she doesn't hear them from afar.
With that, Beck immediately grabs her by the wrist to pull her towards the janitor closet, carefully eyeing Jade to make sure she wasn't suspicious of anything. He keeps in mind that he couldn't tell anyone about hiscurrently-ambiguous-under-repair-relationship with his ex-kinda-almost-girlfriend, as he attempts not to make it obvious that he was still all over Jade.
"Okay! I get that Meredith likes me," he tells it clear enough for Tori to understand.
"And maybe I could like her," he adds as to not make her suspicious over his feelings, "But you know... Jade"
"Ugh" his friend groans, "You and Jade broke up months ago!"
He couldn't understand her fixation on his dating life, and he curses how persistent the girl could be. Because dammit, he was finally getting his ex-girlfriend back, and he definitely didn't have any time to spare for Meredith.
"Yeah," He agrees, recalling why Jade hates the girl in the first place. "But when we were dating, one summer, Meredith and I were in a play together. And it made Jade like crazy jealous"
He wasn't lying. In fact, if Jade West was to find out that Meredith was after him again, she would definitely lose it, and all hell would break lose. Yeah, if it wasn't clear enough he'd rather not have that happen.
"Ohhh," Tori gives a look of understanding, "Okay. And if she finds out that you were snoodling with Meredith now..."
"Jade would explode like Trina's too tight pants" he finishes for her.
"So, your plan is to spend the rest of your life being scared of Jade?" his friend asks him as if he was being ridiculous.
Beck scoffs. It didn't sound like such a bad idea to spend the rest of his life with her.
"Well, that's not my only plan," he defends "Someday I'd like to plant a vegetable garden."
"You know what would make Jade not care if you started dating a new girl?" Tori still insists on providing him some sort of assistance.
"If the new girl had no head?"
"No!" she corrects him, before explaining her idea, "If she was dating a new guy"
No. God, no. That wasn't what he wanted, nor was it in any of his plans.
"None of the guys at school would ask her out" Beck insists.
"Why not?"
"Because Jade is terrifying" he answers quick enough for Tori to be able to tell that it was true. He was called crazy by many of his friends for even daring to date her. So many times did his hair get drenched by coffee, did she threated to cut him up, did she decline every single offer of a date. If some guy were to break her walls like he managed to do so, then Beck would have definitely made sure that everyone knew that he was hers and she was his again.
"All she has to do is look at most guys and they start shaking and peeing," he explains, hoping Tori would finally let go of the issue.
"There has to be some guy in Hollywood Arts who would ask out Jade"
Yeah, him. But before Beck can even say anything else and point towards himself, Sinjin interrupts by opening the door of the Janitor's closet. Beck doesn't even bother to spare him any attention as he shakes his head before Tori shuts the door.
Jade West had every right to be furious when she learns that Tori Vega and Andre Harris had the audacity to pay a guy to ask her out. She never sought out any assistance in her dating life, and as of then she was pretty satisfied with her current relationship. In the first place, she didn't give a fuck for any guy who didn't have any balls to ask her out. And second, as far as she knows, Beck was the only who had enough courage to handle her. Which was why she was planning to sing at the Full Moon Jam for him; and she'd rather not have anyone ruin her plans.
But apparently, they did.
After jumping down from the trap door of the library that led to janitor's closet, she grabs the first thing she sees and threatens them.
"I'm gonna take this and kill you both with it," she swore as she held the roll of toilet paper in front of the two idiots, who apparently were her supposed friends.
"How can you kill us with toilet paper?" Tori manages to ask, but Jade doesn't waver.
"Put it down," Beck tells her, gesturing to the roll and the floor. "Put. It. Down"
He was the only one who could ever tame her. And although she hated it when people told her what to do, she listens to him anyway.
Beck tries to understand why Jade was chasing after their friends and why they were running away from her as if their lives were on the line. He wonders what in the world could they have possibly done to piss off Jade, who was more often that not, already mad at the world. "What are you all wazzed off about?"
"These two butt cheeks paid a guy to ask me out on a date" Jade clearly makes her point because even this manages to irritate him.
What?
If he recalled correctly, Andre Harris, his best friend, was already was already well aware about how he felt towards Jade. And although, they never talked about it again and he never told her that they were trying to get back together, Beck didn't expect the musician to pull off something stupid like paying a guy to take the girl he loved on a date. And don't even get him started on Tori fucking Vega.
"We were trying to help!" Tori defends herself.
This only aggravates Jade because she had always been capable of handling things herself, "Why do I need your help?!"
"'Cause guys are scared to ask you out!"
"That's how I like it!"
"I got dragged into this" Andre attempts to reason out.
"See," Tori decides to explain their side of the story, "We thought—"
"You thought—" Andre corrects her.
"We thought" She repeats before trailing on, "That if you got asked out by a guy. You'd be more okay if Beck asked out a girl."
"Oh my God," Jade West couldn't believe what she just heard. She wonders what the fuck was happening between them, but she recalls how she was the one who insisted that they shouldn't be dating (yet, at least).
But she had always told him to do what he wanted to; he could go out with that chick for all she cared. It was better to get it over with before they even got started. It was better have him go, before she let him back in again.
"How many times do I have to say it? I don't care who you date! We broke up. Ask out any girl you want" she lowers her voice, clearly exasperated.
At this, Beck couldn't help but look her in the eye, wondering if she really meant it.
"See! I said you should've just asked out Meredith" Tori enters the conversation and makes it worse for him than it was already was.
He swore to God that she will be the end of him. In the first place this was brought on by her meddling and her insistence that he should date the nice girl. He didn't need Jade freaking out over a girl they fought about in the past.
Jade called it. She knew, and he never listened to her back then.
"Meredith?!" Jade raises her voice in rage. Andre immediately walks up to the shelves to take the remaining toilet paper, making sure she couldn't use any to murder anyone in the room with it.
"Jade," Beck attempts to clear the misunderstanding.
"Oh, I knew it two years ago when you were in that awful play with her!"
"I think I wrote that play" Andre recalls from behind him.
Jade continues to rant her irritation, mocking the girl with a high-pitched accent, "And Meredith was always like 'Oh, Beck! Why don't you come over my house so we can rehearse our lines!', 'Oh, Beck! I brought you some cupcakes!'"
"Meredith brings everybody cupcakes. Her Dad owns a cupcake shop," Beck reminds her, and the flow of conversation turns into a talk about the cupcakes to which the other two gushed over.
"You know what?" Jade gives in. She didn't want to deal with this shit. "I don't care. Go out with Meredith."
She didn't need to be caught up on some competition against a sweet girl that was probably made of sugar and everything nice; everything Jade West apparently hates.
She even mouths it to him carefully as she walks out the door, "Enjoy her cupcakes"
Beck sighs. Things were going so well. Maybe too well. Which was why it didn't take long for them to be fighting once again. But then again, they wouldn't have been Beck and Jade if didn't argue. Though it was brought on to him by his friends, and as much as he'd like to act cool with it, his irritation doesn't seem to be settling down.
His best friend obviously sensed his mood because he tries to lighten the atmosphere by raising a roll of toilet paper and asking, "How can she kill you with it?"
But he didn't relent.
Although Beck Oliver was often the calmest in the room. He couldn't let this one past him. It took years to have Jade West trust him, and he knows it would take an equally fair amount of time to have her do so again. Having another argument with her was the last thing he had in mind, and the fact that their friends lent him a hand in doing so, wasn't helping in the least.
"Beck..." Tori chases after him.
It especially doesn't help when the source of the trouble tries to confront him. He finds himself having the strongest urge to ignore her, because he knows he might spit out words that he'd regret or words that would most definitely hurt his friend.
Nevertheless, he also knows that Tori Vega is not one to give up. She was persistent as hell, and it was what got him in trouble in the first place. So, he turns his heel to face her after walking past nearly half of the hall.
"Jade has nothing to do with this. Why would you do that?" he couldn't help but ask, irritation evident in his voice for more than one reason.
"Because we both know she would get mad! And I don't want that to ruin your possibilities of dating someone new" She tells him, and although she did do it for his sake, it irked him when he notices that she didn't even consider Jade's feelings.
"Are serious?" He raises his hand up in exasperation at how insensitive she could be at times, "How would you feel if some guy just dated you for money, Tori?"
"I know. But—But you won't go out with Meredith. I didn't know how else to convince you" she bites her lip, as the guilt settled in. At least she knew she was in the wrong.
"Did it ever occur to her that I don't want to?"
"What's wrong with her? She's nice and cute!" Tori continues to persuade him. Even rambling on and on as if she knew him so well. As if she knew them that well. "I know she's different from Jade. But don't you think dating a nice girl would be better than dating someone you fought with all the time? Someone who won't scream at any girl who tries to approach you? She's different but she's surely make a better girlfriend than Jade did"
What the hell do you know?, Beck had the strongest urge to say.
He sucks in a breath because he thinks he might explode. Tori Vega knew nothing. Because for the longest time he knows that he and Jade weren't the ideal couple, that they weren't exactly near normal; that while everyone always saw a dysfunctional relationship, Beck and Jade saw themselves as to people who just wanted to be together.
In the first place, it wasn't like he dated her trying to fit into a cardboard cutout of what they should be. He dated her because he liked her and stayed despite how rocky it could get because he learned how to love her. And honestly wasn't that what mattered the most?
So, why was it that people can never seem to mind their own damn business?
He knows that everyone around them is always acting like they were so entitled in defining his relationship, but damn, was he sick of that. It was the very reason why they broke up in the first place, and he'd rather not make the same mistake again.
"Don't—" he warns her, barely able to speak up with the risk of lashing out.
"Oh my god. Are you still hung up on her? Is that why?"
"Tori"
"That's unhealthy Beck. You can't keep rejecting people who can possibly make you happy. Even Jade gave you her blessing!" the girl continues to point out based on her own opinion, and he honestly doesn't think he can bear another second.
God, this girl has got to learn how to listen, he mentally curses how his friend wouldn't stop jumping into her own conclusions. In the first place, why was she so damn concerned about other people's business? It was the part of Tori Vega he was never so fond of.
"Just stop, okay?" Beck insists, hoping that she heeds his warning. He has other things to prioritize and he knows he couldn't afford let his anger get the best of him, so he goes to the very person he has to talk to.
Beck Oliver was aware that there were more than enough instances that Jade's hatred for Tori Vega was justified. In fact, there were countless times that he found himself guilty of siding with Tori, but there were also times that he would never let past him. Like how she just had to schedule her stupid prom on Jade's long-awaited play; or how he learns of the fact that a half-naked diaper man carried his girlfriend for nearly a mile down the street. Had Jade not been able to defend herself, he didn't even want to think about what could happen.
Contrary to how he usually had his emotions in check, having heard of Tori paying some guy to ask Jade her out, was a lot similar to one of those times. But he knows that more than any of that, he was more concerned of how Jade felt, because he knows this is a blow to her pride.
And more often than not, it was also those times that the raven-haired girl with colorful highlights had the tendency to shut him out. And he knows that because of the misunderstanding with Meredith, her temper would have been a lot worse than it usually was. That's why, unlike the first two times, he doesn't hesitate to walk out of the door to chase after her despite how Tori Vega had stopped him in his tracks momentarily.
Nevertheless, Jade West never makes it easy, because she ignores him for the rest of their periods together.
"Jade" he calls out to her for the nth time, as he catches her by her locker that was accentuated by scissors.
"What?" she finally snaps, despite not sparing the boy a glance.
"There's nothing between Meredith and—" Beck tries his best to explain, only for the girl to cut him off immediately.
"Why do I care? We're not dating," her words pierce him, "Go shove one of her bloody cupcakes up your ass"
"Jade, please" he wants to beg her, before she flares up on her own. But she was far too emotional for rationality.
Jade West was considerably offended by the fact that Tori and Andre paid some dude to ask her out, but it was nowhere near her current irritation towards her ex-kinda-almost-boyfriend, who apparently didn't have the guts to talk to her about Meredith's advances.
Beck Oliver had always been transparent, for her at least. But that didn't mean anything related to honesty. It meant that he always showed people what they wanted to see. In the same way that the contents of his locker were neither controversial nor anything important. He acts as if he had nothing to hide, but in contrary, he just doesn't show it where everyone else could see.
She had always known about that part of him that had always managed to irk her: that part of him that could never speak up for himself; that couldn't dare to say no; that would answer in a way that made sure it wouldn't hurt anyone. He often played safe, and she knows that it wouldn't be easy for him to completely grow out of it, but there were times he just had to.
In the first place, if he cared so much about what other people thought, they were just going to return to the cycle. The cycle where everyone else's opinions would get to them, the cycle in which their relationship would be dragged around in hopes of approval from others, the cycle that eventually ruined the three years they had together. She was certainly aware that if things wouldn't change then it would inevitably repeat its doom.
That's why she tells him, as she slams the door of her locker, "I can't always be the person to tell you what to do. Make your own damn decisions"
He knows that sometimes anger got the best of her; and that more often than not she doesn't mean what she says, but at this, he just had to ask, "You're seriously fine with me going to the Full Moon Jam with her?"
Beck couldn't understand, and perhaps his irritation did hinder him from doing so. But more than anything, he had to clench his fist as he tries to suppress his emotions. She was still pushing him away.
Like every single time, the thought enters the back of his mind. His frustration just builds up, from Meredith's advances, from Tori's persistence, from Jade's stubbornness that he can never win against.
"You heard me! Be my guest!" Jade invites him, nearly shouting with a voice laced with both anger and sarcasm; something she often used.
"Fine I will!" he retorts the very words he didn't want to tell her. He was caught up in both the anxiety of having her give up so easily and the fear of having her push him away again; because Jade never tells him what's wrong.
"Fine!" she raises her hands up as if she was done talking to him. And once again, Beck Oliver realizes he was back to square one.
One step forward and two steps back. If he had the chance to explain his relationship with Jade he believes that would be the most appropriate phrase to say it. Their pride always got the better of them and he knew it, but he also learns to refuse to give up.
Nevertheless, he thinks that he might as well accept Meredith's invitation in order to tell the poor girl that he has no interest in dating (anyone else but Jade) for the time being. And at the same time, he may possibly get Tori to shut up about his love life. It was like killing two birds with one stone.
So, he sits at their lunch table, with Andre and Tori beside each other. His best friend was clearly remorseful as he refuses to get involve anymore; but Tori was still stubborn with her beliefs.
"If I go out with Meredith for one date, will you agree to get off my back?" he asks his friend and she nods excitedly; perhaps too confident that he would enjoy his time with Meredith, and perhaps assured by the fact that from what she said, Jade West has moved on unlike Beck Oliver.
"Yes! Will you, finally?"
"One condition"
"What?"
"Don't try to set some guy up for Jade" he warns her, horrified by the thought that his friend was often too ambitious, "God knows you're not cupid"
"Deal"
Jade West tries her best not to hide her disappointment when her plan ends up backfiring. She doesn't meet with Beck after their argument in front of her locker. In fact, she doesn't even talk to him during the past few days. Since then, they were reminded of the security they lacked when they weren't in each other's arms; and they could vividly recall the reminder of their breakup.
It never felt right when they weren't with each other, but they decide to suck it up. Beck swore to himself that he'll settle his problems one by one, right after his date with Meredith; whereas Jade promised that she'll deal with everything that came after the performance she worked so hard for.
She's been working on it for days, checking on the sound system, rehearsing her song— the song she wrote for Beck Oliver. And although it was highly unlike her to declare her feelings for some guy through a song, she always had a talent in using music to express her emotions.
After all, Jade West was only ever honest in her art; like the play she wrote based on her father, or the song she wrote with Andre that she based on her relationship with Beck. It was the one of the rare times that she was honest with him, and she believes that it would have been a great gesture to show him how much he really meant to her after their confessions during the thirteen questions they asked that one night.
Because to her, Beck Oliver was more than just a pretty boy. He was someone who didn't fear her like everybody else, someone who did everything they could to break her walls, someone who stayed by her side despite what she puts him through. He wasn't like everybody else. He was the one who stuck by her, and looked beyond that tough exterior she so often presents herself in. And even if his looks would have matched that of a Greek god, she knows that he wasn't perfect no matter what everyone else thought; but nevertheless, she accepts him for who he was in the same way he did for her.
That was why the song she wrote was especially written for a special boy, to tell him about herself—the thoughts and feelings she would never express so easily.
So, even though the boy previously mentioned has decided to take Meredith out for the Full Moon Jam, Jade knows better than to back down from a battle. She was not going to let herself back out on a performance she worked so hard on, just because of a few problems along the way. She was not going to let anyone get the better of her.
Although, in one way or another, she is determined to sing in front of everyone else, to give him another chance because she knows that he deserves at least that and he shouldn't be the only one who tried to fix them; because, although, she did stir the direction of their relationship, Beck had always been the one who always insisted to fix it. And she was well aware that they equally had their faults to blame.
That's why when Andre Harris tells her to prepare for her turn, she sucks in a breath and reminds herself that Jade West doesn't get nervous; that she shouldn't be scared, because this wouldn't be any different from all the other battles she fought. And just like every single time, she makes sure that she would stand on the stage leaving behind everything else and focusing on the one thing she was there for.
Beck Oliver realizes that some things will never truly change. In the first place, they were teenagers trying to get a feel of a serious relationship. They fought a lot and they both had their own immaturities and faults, but he thinks that it wasn't completely a bad thing, so long as it doesn't end up ruining them like before. After all, he knew that he wouldn't have any one another than the azure-eyed girl to be his girlfriend.
Because Jade West was completely different from other girls. It was what attracted him to her in the first place. She had spunk and she wasn't just some damsel that needed saving. She was tough and headstrong, despite how her stubbornness often irked him. Though, even if she was strong, it wasn't that she didn't have a weakness; it was that she fought to get past it.
But more than anything else, she was girl who didn't see just the exterior of how he appeared to be. She did not gush, nor did she claim to fall in love with him at first sight, unlike all the other girls who seemed to like him for his looks or misunderstood kindness. She liked him for who he was and hated it when he pretended to be something he wasn't, just to please others. And working hard for her was in more than one way, so damn worth it; because she made him feel things he never felt before.
They never settled for what everyone saw in them, instead they found time to know about the truth that was hidden past the caricature of their selves that they showed other people.
That's why, having Meredith beside him instead of Jade, was in more than one way, aggravating, because not only was she not the girl he loved, but she had also been trying so hard to please him, having to agree with every single thing he said that night. And he hated it. Because more than anything else, he was certain that no matter how much he fought with Jade, he was not fond of the idea of having a relationship that was rooted on pretend and facades.
When he had almost enough of it for the night, he walks up to the food table to grab himself some punch, with an excited Tori Vega standing nearby. As soon as he greets his friend, she's already looking forward to gossip about his date that night.
"So, you and Meridith, huh? You guys gonna snoodle?" she says suggestively while he serves himself a drink.
"There will be no snoodling" Beck says it clear and loud enough for her to make sure she wasn't going to jump into any conclusions.
"What?" Tori immediately looks at him as if she had wasted the last few days trying to convince him and almost being killed by his ex-girlfriend, "After everything I've done? I was almost attacked with toilet paper!"
"Look, Meredith is nice" he tries to explain in a way that won't be rude to the poor girl he just walked away from, "Toonice."
Having spent an evening with the said girl, turns out to be a good thing because now, he was definitely certain that no matter what happens, Jade West was the only one he'd seek after. It was clear enough, after the highly unlikely chances of him moving on or the fact that he hadn't been in another relationship after his ex-girlfriend.
"I think I've learned something about myself" he adds, only to be interrupted with the girl's sassy remark.
"That you're ungrateful to your friend who tried to fix you up with a cute girl?"
"No, I just think that I like dating a girl who, you know" he trails on trying to find the exact words to define the raven-haired girl whom he was too fond off, recalling how her icy blue eyes so often pierced through him. "Fights back"
Almost immediately Tori knows exactly who he was talking about, but she asks to make sure of it, because her friend could also be a masochist in search of a dysfunctional relationship. "You—"
"I mean a girl who has strong opinions," he specifies immediately, as if he heard his friend's doubts, "And a big mouth."
"Why?" Tori couldn't understand, in more than one case she had witnessed their fights and how bad they could be. She had witnessed them ruin each other and bring pain that she never dared to think about.
"Because it's not easy," He explains, knowing that it was the same reason why everything about Jade West was worth it. Because he knows he never worked hard for someone else other than her. Because in the same way she brought out the worst in him, she also brought out the best parts of Beck Oliver that most people didn't have the privilege of knowing.
"Easy is boring" he adds, and almost immediately Tori finally listens.
"Okay, I get that" she agrees, but also recalls that Jade has seemed to move on. Trying to make sure she knew who he was talking about she asks, "So, who's not boring?"
Their conversation was immediately cut short when Andre Harris introduces Jade on stage, signaling the start of her performance. They both turn their heads in order to support their friend (not-really-friend). Tori gives him her usual grin, excited to listen to the goth's performance.
The raven-haired girl strides the stage confidently, without an instance of hesitation as she grabs the mic. Just her presence caught his attention almost immediately. And as soon as she starts singing, she looks around and sees him. His eyes never left her for a second as her voice sound with emotion.
When he listens to the first few lines of her song, the lyrics immediately resonate with him and he realizes she was actually singing to him. He walks towards the front of the crowd, as claps alongside her performance, eyes remaining focused on a single girl.
She looks him directly in the eye from time to time, and he couldn't help the smiles that escape his lips every now and then.
I'm dangerous, I'm warning you
But you're not afraid of me
And I can't convince you
And I don't have to
I think you know me
The boy finds himself walking towards her as soon as she finishes singing. He forgets about Meredith, about his argument with Jade a few days ago, and about everything else. All that mattered was the girl in front of him. How she sang to him, how she wrote him a song, how she told him the truth.
When he stands in the stage, facing her, he forgets about everyone else who was watching them, because right then Jade West was all that mattered to Beck Oliver.
And he instantly tells her, with a small smile on his face, words of defeat, "I've missed you."
"So, what are you going to do about it?" she challenges him, and he knows that she was giving him a choice.
And he finally makes his decision, by stretching a hand to reach for her face, before leaning in to kiss her, while her arm wrap around his neck almost instantly. He puts his free hand on her waist like he used to, as if it was where it was always meant to be.
The audience cheered them on, applauding the reunion of the couple. When they hear Andre's grandmother shouting excitedly, they couldn't help but pull their faces away for a moment to let out a smile before locking lips once again.
And at that moment, everything was more than okay.
a/n: when i was rewatching cell block, (i know i'm probably overthinking it but) i noticed that jade was wearing a plaid shirt, and when i saw how they were looking at each other when the boys won and how he tickled her (not tori or cat, but jade) i just thought that there must be something that happened between them and i refuse to let it pass. thus, the inspo for this chapter.
other than that, thank you for still reading this fic, as well as all the reviews and everything else, they really mean a lot to me. and merry christmas!