based on the following episodes: tori fixes beck and jade (4x06); one thousand berry balls (4x07); robbie sells rex (4x08); victori-yes (4x13)
disclaimer: victorious & its characters belong to its respective owner.
v. it's more than enough to have you stay
their afterthoughts and memories
Beck Oliver felt as if his nightmares were momentarily over. The couple was nearly inseparable as soon as they started locking lips on stage. Andre Harris had to nudge his two friends to remind them that he still had a show to run, and they should just get a room instead of making out in front of nearly the entire student body who were there for the Full Moon Jam. It takes a bare minimum of seconds before they leave the stage and make out against his truck. And when they finally managed to head back home to his RV their hands are all over each other and the events of that night continued to escalate. Their clothes lay on the floor and they hold each other in the dim light of his home.
He missed her warmth and her presence in his arms, as well as her azure eyes that showed the fire of the challenge she often poses. Although they had only been apart for a few days, his yearning for her was incomparable from their nearly ten-month break. It felt as if she was a drug, and he was tantalized by the first time he had her since they broke up.
She missed his beautiful raven locks, that she so often ran her fingers through as he kissed him endearingly. The girl finds herself warming up to him as her heart softens at the sound of his voice, repeatedly telling her how much he loved her.
Although they had decided to take things slow, they knew they wouldn't be able to keep that promise at all. And as soon as they both come down from their high and embrace each other while basking in the warmth of their bodies. They don't speak for a few moments as they try to catch their breath.
"Beck," Jade was the first one to speak up, as she notices the necklace that laid near his dresser, illuminated by the soft light of his lamp. Because, although he didn't wear it as often as before, he always kept in near his sight.
"I'm sorry."
Her words immediately felt like someone tightened a grip on his heart, as he felt frogs croak in his stomach. He was reminded of the time they hooked-up after the breakup and how she immediately regretted the idea of getting back with him. This causes him to jolt up almost immediately, in fear that she would leave again.
"Please, don't—" his voice cracks, barely able to finish his sentence. And Jade must have seen the worry in his eyes because she pulls him towards her to give him a kiss, wrapping an arm around him as he laid back in bed.
"I'm not breaking up with you" she assures him, and he finally lets out the breath that he didn't know he was holding. "I think we've had enough of those"
"No more ultimatums?" he asks her almost pleadingly, and she completely agrees.
"None" she agrees before saying half-jokingly, "So, if I don't talk to you for days, don't take it as a break and cheat on me; or else, I'll make sure they don't find your dead body"
He cracks a smile first and reverts the topic back to what it was before he panicked, thinking that it wasn't so often that Jade West apologized. He was definitely sure that she had nothing to be sorry for, seeing as he believed that he was mainly to blame for the breakup, although she was aware of their equal faults.
"Then, what are you sorry for?"
"I lost our necklace" she speaks up and his eyes soften, it was nothing like the hundred thoughts that ran through his brain that fueled his anxiety. He was able to revert to his calm demeanor, as if his worries were washed away for a moment.
It was then that Jade began rambling, "I freaked out when I lost it. I searched everywhere. It honestly felt like a sign from the universe telling me to move on."
"Maybe it is a sign from the universe" Beck turns to her, and she quirks an eyebrow before he continues, "We should start with a clean slate."
"I'd like that" she agrees.
"Me too," he agreed as they settled in each other's arms.
Jade speaks up once again, right when he thought he was almost dozing off, "Beck?"
"Yeah?" he kisses her temple as he wrapped her tighter in his arms.
"You know what you're getting back into, right?" the girl's soft voice makes its way to his ears. Because like she usually did, she believes that if he plans to leave it was better to do so now before he breaks her heart in the long run.
"Yeah" he answers softly, before assuring her, "I love you"
The azure-eyed maiden doesn't say it back, and he knows she's not ready and it would take a bit longer than that; because when she says it, it would mean showing her vulnerability again, giving him an opportunity to hurt her. After all, trust was something incredibly precious to receive from Jade West. And although he knows how much of a privilege it was to earn it, a part of him wonders if he'll ever get it back.
Instead, she tells him, like her typical self, "Shut up. You've been saying that like you're a broken record."
He chuckles as they drifted off to sleep in each other's arms. Beck Oliver finds himself hoping this wasn't just a dream, that he wouldn't wake up any second and find her gone.
Jade West felt an unsettling feeling in her gut, as she begins to believe that her boyfriend was acting odd. Having known Beck Oliver for so long, she could almost find herself certain about it; but she was also sure that he wouldn't tell her anytime soon, considering that he's been avidly dodging the subject at hand. He was a good actor; she'd give him that. But she had been with him long enough to be able to tell that something was wrong; the same way he could tell with her.
Trying to get out a reason from Beck Oliver, though, was as difficult as getting one from Jade West. And although he wasn't as good as Jade when it came to hiding things (because she had years of experience), Beck truly had a talent for acting. Perhaps it was the influence of his calm and cool facade, that way no one else was able suspected his mood. But Jade could've sworn that she could see it in his eyes.
"Hey" she enters the room with two hangers of clothes in her hand.
"Hi" he returns the greeting with a smile, as he closes the book he was reading while waiting for class. It doesn't get past Jade how he seemed to force it.
Nevertheless, she decides to observe the situation closer, reverting to the purpose of her visit as she held up the brown leather jacket and blue Hawaiian shirt, "You're wearing this to the Cow Wow"
"Okay" he passively agrees, with the same smile on his face, inevitably managing to piss her off almost immediately. Jade holds back from interrogating him, but at that point she was certain that something's wrong, and he was too stubborn to tell her.
"What? You don't like it?" Jade snaps at him like she usually does.
"I—" Beck looks at her unsurely wondering what she was so mad about, "I said okay?"
"You didn't even look at it" she counters, pointing out his behavior, how passive he's being. She wishes she could read his mind in the same way he wants to do so with her. She wishes she could know what was running through his head—what he was trying so hard to hide from her.
"I just—" he remains oblivious to her thoughts and what he was supposed to say, "I don't really—"
"This is the first social event in this school that we're going to since we got back together," Jade reminds him, taking note of how passive he's been acting since just a few days ago. She wants to tell how important this day was, and how he should speak up about his problems if they want to actually go to the event she was looking forward to.
"'Kay?" he looks at her in utter confusion, and Jade hates how he's playing dumb.
"You want to know what I'm going to wear?"
"Uhhh—"
Before he even got a chance to answer, she talks over him, "I'm gonna wear a Hawaiian skirt, a black western top and a cowboy hat"
"That sounds great" he simply agrees, trying to put his thoughts past him. And she manages to keep note of it. Jade hates how he keeps maintaining that front with her, and it doesn't take long before she snaps.
"What is wrong with you?!" she exclaims, pertaining to something else apart from their current conversation.
It's been days that they have officially gotten back together and a small part of her fears that he seemed like he was regretting it. After learning about the things he kept from her during their exchange of thirteen questions that occurred a couple of weeks ago, she knows she can't let this one pass. Although before she even manages to extract an answer, Robbie Shapiro enters the room looking for Cat Valentine, who immediately makes a run for it. Seeing the commotion, Jade bites the inside of her cheek, and decides to wait a little bit more.
"What boots should I wear: black or brown?" She changes the topic, and he answers as if just wanted to calm her down.
"Brown"
She tries to get him mad, to get any emotion of him that can possibly serve as a hint. So, she shouts, "Just make a decision!"
But he ends up feeling lost; because although he missed this, a part of him also wonders what she seemed so mad about. Because what they both didn't know was how he didn't notice how odd he was behaving, continuously denying the things that has been bothering him for the last few days.
As soon as she catches him after their third period, before Beck even realizes, she takes a hold of his hand and drags him to the janitor's closet. When she slams the door shut, she was greeted by a dumbfounded expression on his face which eventually morphs into confusion. But she knows he's hiding something, and she was done with waiting for him to say it.
"What is wrong with you?" she sternly repeats the same phrase she had asked earlier that day.
"What are you talking about?" he returns the question, exasperated and confused. He doesn't think he was in the mood to fight right now.
"I am not letting you back out there until you spit it out" Jade demands, and Beck wonders if she noticed.
He was scared. If there was anything that Beck Oliver feared, it was losing Jade West — a fear he discovered only recently.
It had only been more than a week since they got back together, and although he knew things would be different, a part of him wonders how long it would take before things turn back to normal. How long it would take before they are completely comfortable. How long it would take before she completely trusts him. How long it would take before he hears her tell him she loves him back.
Because although he has never been scared in their relationship, and although he never pressured her to tell him those three words when they first started dating, Beck Oliver did not want to remember the pain of watching her walk out the door so easily. He didn't want to remember how often she dodged his touch or told him to get his hands off her. He didn't want to remember how distant she had been.
Things were different from before, and although he knew that, a part of him can't shake off the fact that it didn't feel normal. He was afraid of the possibility that he wasn't enough for her, that he wouldn't be able to make her happy, that she was with him only due to her fear of being alone. And he could tell from the way she acted, because oftentimes she would pull away so quickly, oftentimes she doesn't ask him to spend time with her and oftentimes she wasn't as jealous as before. It causes his heart to race nervously, at the thought of Jade drifting away from him. But he won't tell her that.
He can't tell her because if she does answer it like he thinks she would, then it would make it all feel real. And he'd take anything he has as long she was back with him.
"Jade" He tries to talk to her and avert the topic away, but she catches this behavior.
"See!" the blue-eyed girl raises her voice, stating her observation for the last few days, "You're too tired to even fight back! I'm not putting up with this farce, so say it!"
She wasn't in the mood to joke about it or to buy his excuses, and he knew well enough that she was onto him. They both knew that if this kept up, history would eventually repeat itself. It felt like they were walking on thin ice, So, it takes a couple of moments before he decides to make a move.
He pressed his lips against hers without warning. It wasn't soft nor gentle. It was almost crass and desperate, and she was able to taste blood from the cut on her lip produced by the impact. And although she doesn't like it when boys ask permission if they could kiss her, his forcefulness makes her blood boil, as she misunderstands his actions as an attempt to shut her up.
"Beck! We're talking—" she pushes him away as soon as the rage travel through her veins.
She was mad until she sees the look in his eyes, eventually feeling a pang of pain in her chest. It was something she never expected to see in Beck Oliver's brown eyes: fear, worry and insecurity; because it wasn't so often that the boy appeared vulnerable in front of her.
Her heart tightens, as his voice cracks, "Say you love me."
"Please" he adds the magic word, despite how she didn't even demand it.
The girl was taken aback because she had always been the one to say those words, and it was Beck who patiently waited for her to say it. She never thought that there would come a day their roles would reverse, and she wonders what in the world made him feel that way. She never thought he would feel the way she did before. And that one look into his eyes made her feel as if his anxiety was contagious.
Amidst the confusion, she decided to get answers first. "What has gotten into you—"
"Do you still love me?" he cuts her off quietly, barely whisper. His voice was so soft she barely managed to catch it.
He doesn't meet her eyes as he says it, and right then she breathes out, "Oh my god."
The boy tenses as soon as he hears her words, and inches away in fear of rejection. At this, Jade cups his face to look him directly in the eye, to let him know she was sincere and serious, that she wasn't just lying just so it won't hurt him. Since when did she care about protecting other's feelings, anyway? Jade West was blunt and straightforward, known for her brutal honesty.
"You're an idiot," She starts, giving him a quick peck on the lips before continuing.
"Of course, I love you, you dumbass. Do you think I'm the type of person who settles for someone she doesn't like?" she points out, reminding him of how often she both terrified and rejected her pursuers.
And then she kids, "No offense, babe, but if I didn't love you, with your looks you'd just be a one-night stand at most."
He smiles slightly at that, even returning the joke, "Not even a two-night stand?"
"Sure, boost your ego" she smirks playfully despite the way she rolled her eyes at him. The girl leans in one more time to give him a kiss, longer and gentler than the first one they had.
"That's what's been eating you up?" she confirms as they catch a breath to talk.
"It's just not the same for the past few days," He confesses, "You pull away so easily, we don't hang out as often as we used to, and I never heard you say it back. I could never read your mind—and I just... I got scared"
"You got scared? The unscareable Beck Oliver?" she's surprised to even say such words, because as far she knows, he had always been the fearless one. He was the rock she leaned on. And only now did she realize the influence of the breakup on him, despite how they managed to mend their relationship.
"Looks like you're not as brave anymore, babe" she teases, pulling her close to him.
"It's lame" he mutters.
"It's cute" the girl corrects him, before explaining herself.
"I guess I've been trying to adjust since I haven't been used to being with you again, ever since we learned to be our own people," her blue eyes meet his brown orbs once more, "But that doesn't mean that I don't love you. We're putting everything back to pieces and that takes time. Besides, it's not too bad exploring outside our circle. This way we can hang out with our friends, and you won't miss out with Andre and the others. We can't revolve our world just around each other all over again"
"But that doesn't mean that you have to hold back. I can still come over anytime, and I'm just a call away. You can tell me anything. Yeah?" she reminds him. And it's enough for him; because he's finally affirmed it will happen, that everything will piece itself eventually.
The boy nods in acknowledgement but he doesn't say another word before she asks him to.
"Say you love me" she requests, the same way she used to.
"Magic word?"
"Lotion."
"Nice try."
"Please" she gives in, rolling her eyes at him.
He answers immediately, "I love you."
At this she can't help but smile, "I love you too"
Beck Oliver felt like the luckiest man in the world to be able to have Jade West for himself, because he had the privilege of seeing all sides of her.
The girl did keep her word, that their relationship would eventually piece itself together. Although things did feel different, it was slowly coming into place.
She matured, that much he can tell, but he was extremely relieved that the same Jade he fell in love with has always been there. The same girl who demanded he pick her up before he heads for school.
It wasn't always that Beck Oliver had gone to her house, considering that she most often went to his. If Jade West had a say, it would be that the RV was more of a home than her mother's house; because, although, she lived with her mother and her younger brother, she was more often with Beck than her own house. Mainly for the reason that either her brother was with their grandparents or her mother was always working overtime to support the family, and she'd rather not stay home alone like some loner.
Beck did visit her from time to time, but ever since the breakup, he hadn't exactly used the front door of her house. He only snuck in her balcony that one time, which only she happened to know about. And he hasn't exactly spoken to any of her family members in the span of their break.
It's been a while since he set foot in their house, so he sucks in his breath to brace himself to enter her house legally. But before he even rings the doorbell, the front door swings open and a woman in her late 40s walks out in a hurry, stopping in her tracks when she catches sight of him.
"Oh my," Jade's mother seemed genuinely surprised to see him.
She wasn't as involved in her daughter's personal life, and Jade would never willingly share any information about it. But she wasn't dumb nor oblivious, she was well aware of what happened the moment her child came home crying and locking herself in her room. And although, one would normally confront their child about their problems, she knows that her daughter could get through it. She believed in her daughter's strength, knowing that as a divorced single mother, she wouldn't be the best example to talk to her about it; that her child would only lash out on her. But she knew that Jade would eventually find herself.
And she did. But it takes a while until her mother notices how the brazen girl seemed a lot happier in the past few weeks. The specific reason why, just so happened to be standing in front of her doorstep at the moment.
The woman couldn't help but smile, as she informs the boy, "Jade just woke up. She's getting ready. You might want to wait in the living room"
"Okay. Thanks" Beck greets politely as she lets him in her home, right before she heads for work.
"Oh, sweetie?" she calls out before she walks out the door, and Beck looks up to acknowledge her.
"Take care of her this time" Jade's mother gave him a knowing look. Because unlike Jade West, whom his parents only (completely) accepted when they saw the impact of the breakup on their lovely son, Jade's mother was wholeheartedly fond of Beck. She knows that he can tell her daughter off; that he can hold her back from trouble; that he accepts Jade for who she was.
At this, Beck smiles as he genuinely promises, "I will."
When the raven-haired boy walks into their living room, the last person he expected to talk to was Jade's little brother, Jordan. And although he did spend time with the kid, it had been a while since he saw the boy, considering that his breakup with Jade had lasted for more than half a year. He wasn't even sure if the nine-year old could remember him, but he speaks up anyway.
"Hey, kiddo" Beck greets as he enters the room to find the younger boy eating breakfast in front of the television as an animated film came to play.
"Beck?" the mop of brown hair turns to face him, "You're back?"
He doesn't think deeply of what the kid meant but he does tell him what he's there for, "I'm here to pick up your sister. We'll drop you off to school on the way."
"You're dating Jade again?" the boy asked, and Beck wonders how he should reply to that. For a nine-year old he was definitely perceptive.
"You broke up, right? Earlier this year." Jordan adds when he doesn't speak, and Beck wonders how the kid knows that, especially since Jade was not the type to tell a child about her problems.
But he does manage to answer, although he wasn't proud of the fact, "Yeah."
Beck runs a hand through his hair uncomfortably as he sucks in a breath. It takes a moment before they break the silence. The nine-year old doesn't look him in the eye, but he could've sworn he heard him say, "It was the first time I saw her cry."
And it crashes down on him—the realization of the impact of their breakup for Jade West. Because even though she did say that she was a mess through it, he was never really able to imagine how it had been to her. He was wreck, but surely, she didn't appear as bad as he did. Did she?
"Jade is like the coolest person I know," the little boy continues when Beck doesn't speak, "She's mean and scary most of the time. But I never thought anything could make her cry. She used to do it almost every night and I would wake up and see her crying and she'd get mad if I caught her."
Beck Oliver genuinely felt bad, because even he can't imagine what the kid had seen his sister go through, but he thinks he knows what he felt, so Beck asks, "You mad at me?"
And it doesn't come as a surprise when the boy shrugs, "Kinda."
"But if she's happy now then I probably know why" Jordan give him a small smile, caused by his childlike innocence, "Don't hurt her again."
"I don't plan to" Beck assures him, even raising his hand as they seal it with a pinky promise.
"And don't tell her I said that. She's gonna tease me again" the kid adds thereafter.
At this he couldn't help but ask, "Why?"
"Because Jade is stronger than I am, and she said that it's why I don't have to protect her. But I think it's unfair how Sis is the one doing that all the time." the brown-haired boy complains, and he couldn't help but chuckle at the child's words.
His heart softens at the thought of his girlfriend taking care of her brother, although it seemed unlike her. It makes him happy to see how he had the privilege of knowing how kind she could be. Sometimes he wishes that Jade was aware of how much everyone around her cared about her.
"You're a good kid, Jordan." Beck ruffles the kid's hair, "Thanks for giving me another chance."
"What are you boys yammering about?" Jade West's sharp voice interrupts their heartfelt conversation, as she enters the room in blue high heels and a fancy azure dress, that showed off her pale white legs, accented by the silver jewelry that hung on her neck. He finds her breathtaking as soon as he catches sight of her.
"Why are you dressed like a princess? Aren't you also going to school?" her brother looks up at her, incredibly confused.
"Don't call me that" Jade snaps, handing her boyfriend her school bag as she holds an amplifier in her hand.
"What's with the dress?" Beck kisses her temples as he grabs her bag for her.
"I have a flour bomber to catch" she fills him in, with a mischievous glint her eyes.
And he breathes out, "You look great, babe."
"So, yesterday I looked gross?" she argues playfully.
"No, I just find you prettier the longer I've known you" he counters smoothly and leans in with a kiss. Because in his eyes she had always been so breathtakingly beautiful.
"Ew." Jordan scrunches up his face in disgust as he looks at them to complain, "You're gonna make me late for school!"
Jade pulls away momentarily to roll her eyes at her brother before giving Beck another peck on the lips and walking towards the door. As they enter his car, she asks them before shutting the door, "What did you talk about, anyway?"
"Nothing" Jordan sing songs as he climbs at the back seat of the car, throwing his bag inside.
Jade narrows her eyes at Beck to get answers, but he just returns it with a playful smirk. "Just catching up on some boy's talk."
Jade West felt bad for trying to dodge Beck's invitation to watch drag racing, because karma got back at her quite easily. When Erwin Sikowitz challenged his students to say 'yes' the whole day, the only thing she thought she had to avoid was Beck's initial plan to trick her. And she did manage to avoid him after hearing their conversation in the hallway, but it also ended up with her agreeing with everything Tori Vega threw at her, which turned out to be the greater evil.
In the first place, had she just allowed him to convince her, then they would've been cuddling in his RV after that race, instead of dressing up as cheese and being featured in that stupid show, Divertisimo. The only thing good that could have possibly come out that night, was the fact that Beck Oliver couldn't say no when she demanded he pick her up. Although, nevertheless, even without the challenge, he would have done it anyway.
"Oh, I have a surprise for you," he brings up, right after she rants about what Trina's horrid show made her do.
"No!" Jade immediately answers as if it were a question, and Beck retorts as if he anticipated what she'd say.
"But you can't say no."
She would give anything to wipe that smug grin off his face.
"Beck, you know I hate surprises" the girl groans, clearly so done with the day.
"Which is why I'm giving you a heads up" he tries to convince her, although he was driving them there anyway. "Please?"
"Fine" Jade grumbles.
Beck Oliver had worked on this surprise for weeks, all because it didn't sit well with him that Jade West wrote him a song, and he's barely done anything to show her how much he appreciates her. Heck, Andre Harris wrote Jade West a song over a year ago, and he wasn't even the one she was dating. Even Sinjin wrote her poems, and she complained that her own boyfriend didn't. So, he somehow attempts to plan a perfect night with her.
That's why, although it was initially planned at a later date, he thinks it's better to use their teacher's challenge to his advantage. So, as soon as the drag race he attended with Sinjin ends, he sets up his RV to prepare for his surprise, before he drives over to the Vega's household to pick up Jade to drive them back.
"Really? Your RV?" the raven-haired girl climbs down his car, unimpressed.
"It was last minute" Beck defends himself, calming her down with a kiss on the cheek.
"So, what did you have in store?" Jade crosses her arms as she waits for him to unlock the door.
"Couple of cliches" he shrugs, and she narrows her eyes at him. He knows she hates surpises— knows she hates cliches.
"You're getting back at me, aren't you?"
"Is someone being a Negative Nancy?" Beck imitates Sikowitz, earning an eyeroll from his girlfriend.
As soon as he opens the door, she walks in ahead of him, greeted by the illumination of the fairy lights hung around the room. A fresh bouquet of roses lay on the table beside two mugs of coffee, one made just the way she likes it.
"Flowers? Really?" She looks behind to face him, looking unimpressed, "Didn't you have a list of stuff I hate?"
"I know. I bought them for you to cut up," he smirks proudly and hands her a bouquet of scissors.
"Now you're talking" a small smile lights up her face, a look he equally returns.
She makes her way to sit on the other side of the table, taking a sip of coffee before grabbing the roses on the table. "Okay, I'll give you a chance. Impress me."
Beck walks towards the guitar leaning on his wall, while she cuts up the heads of the flowers, he bought her. He then sits beside the blue-eyed maiden, facing her before speaking.
"Before you say anything, I'll just remind you that between the two of us, music is your thing" He speaks up, holding his guitar, the only instrument he learned how to play seeing as it was a requirement in Hollywood Arts.
"But to make sure it's good enough for an audience, Andre helped me out a bit and I got his seal of approval" Beck adds in before she speaks up, to let her know that it wasn't that bad, at least he hopes it won't be.
"A serenade?" she quirks an eyebrow at him as she asked, "I don't remember dating a sap."
"You were the one who sang to me in front of the whole school" he counters her harmless insult with a smirk, reminding her of her performance during the Full Moon Jam.
"Who says I sang to you?" Jade retorts, although she clearly did do it for him.
"From what I remembered, you couldn't stop looking at me. Now, shut up and let me sing you my song"
"You can't tell me what to do"
He leans in to give her a quick kiss, before she finally gives him permission to start, "Okay, go on."
Beck Oliver was not exactly a musician, but Jade had always appreciated his voice. He only sung in a handful of performances, such as musicals and some other plays, but aside from the song they barely finished during the Full Moon Jam (considering that they made out half-way through it) he had not sung alongside her in public. Unknown to everybody else, his voice matched Jade West's, and although he wasn't as fond as music as she was, she had the privilege of hearing his voice as he sings alongside her in his RV during the sleepless nights they spent together. It was one of those moments she held dear, although she never vocalized its sentimental value.
Thus, when he holds the instrument in his lap, and he strums its strings, she stops what she's doing to give him her full attention, because she was genuinely touched that he wrote her a song. The guitar sounds throughout the place they call home, as she sips her mug of coffee, while listening to his voice. The lyrics of the song depicts all the words he never managed to tell her.
No, I'm never gonna leave you darling
No, I'm never gonna go regardless
Everything inside of me, is leaving in your heartbeat
Even when all the lights are fading
Even then, if your hope was shaking
I'm here holding on
He reminds her of all her insecurities. All the moments she left him, in which she had ran away in fear of losing him first. She recalls their break ups, the memories of their fights, all the dark moments, and the tears that she had shed because of him. He reminds her of all the moments she cried in his arms, as he assured her with kisses. He reminds her that he was there to stay.
I will always be yours forever and more
For the push and the pull
I still drown in your love
And drink till I'm drunk
And all that I've done, is it ever enough
He reminds her of their beginnings; of how they spent every free minute they could spend with each other. Their sleepless nights, and the early dawns they stayed up to watch. All the words they shared with each other and every memory that mattered.
I'm hanging on a line here baby
I need more than ifs and maybes
We'll come down from the highest heights
Still searching for the reason why
And now I know what it's like,
Reaching from the other side
After all that I've done
He reminds her of his insecurities. The sight of his eyes full of fear and worry. Because despite how unemotional and calm he could be, the only person who could stir his emotions had always been Jade West. Despite how numb he tended to be, the one fear he had seemed to stem from the thought of losing her. But despite his uncertainties, the boy promises to himself that he would not let her go again.
I will always be yours forever and more
For the push and the pull
I still drown in your love
And drink till I'm drunk
And all that I've done, is it ever enough
He reminds her of every time he touched her— it was the way he showed her his affection. From the simple way their fingers brushed against each other, to the pecks on the cheek, the kisses on her temples and the feeling of his lips against hers. It was the many times he got drunk off of the feeling her touch, almost as if he felt lost if it weren't for their close proximity; the way he was dazed after every time he kissed her.
For all that it's worth, is it worth it'
Cause more than it's hard to desert it
For all that it's worth, is it worth it'
How do we know without searching'
He reminds her of the thirteen questions they shared that night. Their honest thoughts built up from more than two years, all crammed in an hour. The most they shared about each other, and the one time they talked about what they never had the courage to talk about. God, was he glad that he was able to kidnap her from her balcony that night.
I will write you this song to get back what's ours'
Would that be enough'
He reminded her of the song she sung on the Full Moon Jam. The reason why they were back together, the reason why he couldn't resist to kiss her on stage. And although their relationship was different from before, he wants her to know that he would do whatever he can to put things back together.
I will always be yours forever and more
For the push and the pull
I still drown in your love
And drink till I'm drunk
And all that I've done, is it ever enough
He reminds her of how much she meant to him. Like a flame that flickered, she was dauntless; and he found himself easily addicted to the adrenaline of being with her. Because when you take away the sun from Icarus, all that's left is a boy who isn't determined to fly the sky.
For all that it's worth, is it worth it'
Is it ever enough'
How could we know without searching'
Is it ever enough'
He reminds her of how much he loves her. How she made his heart beat faster. How he was a mess without her. How she felt like the warmth of the sun on a winter day. She was the dose of emotion he needed in his mediocre life.
He wonders if all he did was ever enough, and she easily answers as soon as he finishes the song.
"I love you" Jade wraps her arms around him and gives him a kiss. In fact, it felt as if she loved him more than she already has.
She hadn't been this happy in years, and tears are threatening to fall from her eyes, but she holds it in because Jade West doesn't cry after being serenaded by some guy.
Okay, but Beck Oliver was not some guy. Although, her pride still wouldn't allow her. So, she just sucks in a breath, and tries not to say anything else in fear of crying out in happiness. Jade West isn't some girl who would cry for chick flick cliches, she insisted.
Beck Oliver had always been better with words than she was, but she was never one to lose. After all, Beck and Jade always challenged one another. It was what fueled their fights as if it were a competition, as if they fought fire with fire. And although at times, it didn't turn out well, there were also moments when they brought out the better version of each other.
So, although it's a couple months early, because she believes it would've been better to give it as a gift on his birthday, anniversary or even Christmas, she decides to give it anyway. Because giving it as a gift on an important date would be cliche and predictable— and she hated that. That, and she also wants to beat his little performance that almost made her cry.
"I got you a can of lemonade" she tells him, reaching towards her bag, and he looked at her as if he misheard her.
"Lemonade?" the boy wonders why she would bring it up out of the blue, or why she even got him one.
"What? You don't want it?" Jade looks at him daringly, with her typical sarcastic demeanor.
"No," he calms her down with a smile, "Give it."
Although, despite his words, he certainly did not expect the girl to whip out a draft of papers in her bag and set it in front of him. The bundle of papers appears to be a screenplay entitled A Can of Lemonade, featuring the story of a soldier stuck in a coma, and his lover who visits him every day, reminding him of a number of memories they had together.
Jade West had a spectacular skill in writing despite the fact that many find her work disturbing. She even had the courage to tackle what even the school refused to let her. It was one of the many things he loved about her; her passion for her art, her determination to keep doing what she loved despite everyone else who told her otherwise.
He couldn't believe he wrote one specially based on their relationship. Because, although he and their friends did what they could for her production, Well Wishes, he never had the privilege to watch it live after that one showing. And he wasn't even satisfied by her father's lacking response. Although he never said it, he thinks it's a waste to have done so much for someone like her father.
But this— this took his breath away. Because it was the most meaningful thing she could have done for him. Not only because of how they were both fond of theater, but also because he knows that the moment she writes about someone, it shows how important they were in her life.
"You wrote me a script? A love story?" he couldn't believe his eyes.
"What? You don't like it?"
"No, it's— Wow. I don't know what to say" he was at a loss for words. "I thought you hate romance-based plays?"
"Not tragedies"
"You wrote me a romantic tragedy?"
"Just read it and find out why I get you lemonade every year" she sips on her mug of coffee, snipping the remaining roses as she motions for him to do so.
He takes a breath before looking her in the eye, "God, I love you so much, did you know that?"
"If I write crap, you better still love me"
"I do and your work is always amazing, anyway. I'm so damn lucky to have you"
"Flattery won't work on me, babe. Hurry," she demands for him to flip the page, and he leans in for a kiss before beginning. He reads through the dialogue of the female protagonist, recalling their own memories in each scene inspired by each message Jade wanted to tell him.
I.
The protagonist enters the scene, her lover laying in the hospital stuck in a coma, as she speaks, "Do you remember when you made me my first cup of coffee? How we got a ton of laughs when you barely even knew how to boil a pan of water. Even so, you always kept in mind how I liked my coffee, and you brewed me one every single morning we were together. You always considered what I wanted."
He remembered how he made Jade, her own coffee in the mornings she stayed over, and how he often bought a cup when he drove to pick her up. How she always told him how she wanted it, even though he memorized it word per word. He remembered how back then, he hardly even knew how to work the coffee maker, how from then he eventually learned how to cook her meals when she was left alone at home.
II.
The next day, she enters the same room, carrying a box of the letters he sent her throughout the years, "Do you remember the first letter you wrote me? How every time I had a bad day, you always said the words I wanted to hear. There were so many moments you made me smile, but the most important ones were when you heard me out. You were always my shoulder to lean on."
He remembered the first time he ever saw her cry. How his heart tightened at the sight of the girl known for her terrifying demeanor, crawled up in a ball at the corner of the janitor's closet. How he held her close and let her release her pent-up emotions, and how after everything, she walked out of it with her normal facade. He recalls how he wrote her a note, asking how she was because he knew she'd keep her mask on. How in many other times, he would kiss her to sleep and keep her in his arms. How he would whisper words in her ears, assuring her how she was more than what she thought she was, to help her fight her insecurities. He was the one of the few who had a privilege of seeing her vulnerability.
III.
The following day, the door opens, and the girl returns after speaking with the doctor, "Do you remember the first time you said you love me? How I asked you not to say those words. How you told me to ask for it when I was ready to hear it. How I was eventually the first one to ask. You always told me when I asked you, no matter how we fought, no matter what happened. You always gave me courage to face my fears"
He remembered the first time he tried to tell her that he loved her. That it was the reason why she always asked him instead. How instead of telling him those three words, she only requested, "say you love me." How he countered her fear, by allowing her to control the very words she was afraid to hear and say. How it took so long for her to tell him, and how content and ecstatic he was to hear the words come out from her mouth.
IV.
The lady holds the jewelry hanging on her neck, fiddling with its pendant, "Do you remember the necklace that you got me? The one you created out of a lost gem you found in the closet of your old home. The one that matches the color of your eyes. The one that reminds me of you when we're miles apart. You find the simplest ways to assure me, despite all my doubts."
He reminds her of how they found washers in his toolbox. How he initially suggested to make it a necklace to assure her that he was hers and she was his. How it reminded him of her when they were apart. It was the first items they matched. It had been a constant she kept with her, especially during the times he was in Canada, during the times she need him the most. And although she lost hers somewhere along the line, it was nice to know that she always held the memory dear.
V.
As the next few days pass, she brings flowers to his room and places it in the vase beside his bed, "Do you remember when you bought me flowers late at night just because I asked for it? You couldn't find any stores, and you decided to pick some in our friend's garden. You always done so much for me, even though I could never return it."
He remembers the time she asked him for hair dye, no matter how unreasonable she was, he got it any way. He searched high and low, through every store, until Cat called him to tell her she had some. No matter how demanding Jade could be, he always carried through. He moved to an RV because of how he fought with his parents about her. He listened to her every whim, and it was only now that she ever told him how grateful she was.
VI.
It's almost been a week for her daily visits, yet all she could do was hold her lover's hand as she speaks, "Do you remember when you stayed with me at the hospital after I fell off the stairs because I insisted on remodeling the house. How everyone seemed to think I was crazy, but nevertheless, you always supported my decisions."
He remembers how he went with her to get her first tattoo and how he was with her the first time she got a piercing. How despite how everyone told her of how crazy it was for a fourteen-year-old to get such things on her body, despite how she got an earful from her parents, and how they even threatened to kick her out, Beck had always supported her decisions. He was her only ally.
VII.
Seven days has passed, as she looks out the window and recalls, "Do you remember when you learned an instrument to play my favorite songs? How you sung to me for all the moments I couldn't fall asleep. How you were the distraction I needed. You were always the one person who could calm the chaos in me"
He remembers the playlist he made for her, the one they listen to during road trips, the one she hears on nights she couldn't fall asleep, the one she keeps during all the moments she'd rather not hear her own thoughts. He recalls the many times he held her back, from hurting others, from hurting herself. How he always knew what to do to calm the storm inside her. He had always been her escape from the mess that brewed in her mind.
VIII.
There was an unsettling feeling in her gut, right after the conversation she had with the doctor. All she could do was sit near his hospital bed as she spoke, "Do you remember when you climbed up my room just to greet me on my birthday? How despite the fact that you didn't greet me 'till noon, you snuck in my room to give me a present? And even though you said not to expect anything and that it wasn't even expensive, I thought it was worth the wait. You yourself would always be priceless; the best gift I could ever ask for."
He remembers the one time she was upset because he didn't greet her until two in the afternoon on her birthday. That time she thought he forgot about it, when it turned out he was just worrying about what to get her the whole day. He remembers how worried he was that all he could get her was a card, and a number of his favorite pictures of her. The ones with her brightest smiles, the ones that captured her essence, the one he took of her himself. He always found himself so happy to have someone like her, whose beauty would never compare to anyone else.
IX.
The girl could tell that the clock was ticking, she was running out of time, but there was nothing she could do. She holds his hand, pressing her head against it as she spoke, "Do you remember when I wrote a book that no one was willing to read. It was a single copy, yet you gave up your chance to read it, to give it to my father. You always sacrificed so much that I could ever ask for."
He remembers her production, Well Wishes. How hard she worked on it. How everybody else believed it was too disturbing. How he found her in the janitor's closet cutting up a big trash can. And at that, although he doesn't know any other way to help her because he doesn't want to mess it up, all he could do was make sure the person she wrote it for was there in the auditorium. He made sure that her father was there to watch her play like she wanted, even though he honestly wanted to be there to watch it for her. Instead, he had to settle for a video recording. Nevertheless, he accepted it, because he knows just how happy she was to finally receive the very words of affirmation that she never received from her father.
X.
The lady holds back her tears, holding her lover's hand for the very last time, "Do you remember when you took my hand, and we ran away for one night. When we desperately searched for an escape from all our problems, and you honestly asked me if I was truly willing to run away from home. You had always been my safe place, my comfort and happiness. I would go anywhere as long as I'm with you."
He remembers the night he took her out. How the first thing he did when he finally got his license, he drove to her home and called her, knowing she had a bad time at her father's and a fight with her mother. How he took it upon himself to bring her to his RV, to make sure she felt like she was home. How it eventually did feel like her home, because there was no other place that she felt safer, other than his embrace.
XI.
Standing in front of the grave of her lover, the woman spoke for the last time, as soon as she set the flowers on the ground, "Do you remember the last thing I did for you? I only got you a can of lemonade when I learned that you were leaving. I knew that even though I hated the drink, it had always been your favorite. But it was more than that.
We met when you spilled a glass of lemonade on me. I was initially furious, but I didn't expect that years later we would be together. And although, I was never good at expressing my emotions and showing you how much I cared. It was the most memorable thing that reminded me of our relationship. It was both the beginning and the end; the only thing I was able to do for you."
He remembers the start of their relationship, how he used to give it his all. How, during the days leading up to their last break up, they had lost the passion they once had. How he stood her up and missed her calls. How he prioritized everything else over her, even the opinions of others towards them.
He remembers the first time they met, and every single time she got him lemonade for his birthday. He remembers how he told Tori Vega about how he could never remember the one-time Jade West did anything nice for him. But he knew. Now, Beck realizes that she had done so much for him, and he honestly felt bad for being so ungrateful.
She gave him courage to stand up for himself, to make his own decisions, to become better than he was. She gave him the emotions he never felt, the feelings that gave life to all those dull moments. How his life used to be so black and white, and he finally saw color when he met her. She gave him chances, so many chances, to have her back. She always came back to him no matter what pain they went through; and it was truly what mattered.
The script Jade wrote was inspired by their relationship. It was the ten things he gave to her and the one thing she gave him. It was the ten things she honestly wanted to tell him and the one thing that could express how much she loved him.
Their relationship was like a can of lemonade. Although not as good as the normal— although, they appear to be dysfunctional— they lasted longer. There were also sweet moments, the ones that made them stay. And no matter how much she hates it, she'll get it for him anyway.
And that's how he knows. Now, he fully understands that there was so much more that he didn't know about Jade West. That she treasured the little moments as much as she did. That she had always put him on a pedestal, despite how oftentimes she acted ungrateful. That she truly and honestly loved Beck Oliver, for who he was and what he had done, and not just who he appeared to be.
And by the end of it all, he finds himself falling for her all over again.
song used: ever enough; a rocket to the moon
a/n: thank you for completing this story, i had a blast writing it and i am extremely thankful for all the favorites, follows and reviews. i hope it was worth the read