Prompt: i was reading your fics about the victors hanging out in the penthouse! Could you write something when hayffie are exclusive (she's definitely in love with him and she suspects he might be in love with her too) E overhears H saying some kind of 'locker room talk' type stuff about her with the victors because he's trying to keep the illusion that he oesn't care about her and theres a classic rom-com-style misunderstanding and she thinks he's genuinely been fucking her around the whole time?
The Accidental Eavesdropping
Effie didn't often indulge herself when the Games were on, even after Twelve had officially lost. She made it a point to keep on playing the subtle game of being seen because fame was a fickle mistress that needed to be kept courted and happy.
However, she had been nursing a stress headache all day and the low throb of the music wasn't doing her any good. The party was nothing she couldn't afford to miss and she desperately wanted some quiet and a cigarette.
She did look around for Haymitch, to let him know she was going back up because it was only polite, but she couldn't find him anywhere. Since Finnick and Chaff were also inconspicuously missing, she supposed they had sneaked out to go to a bar or another and she couldn't be bothered to worry about it that night.
Her head was hurting too much.
She could only hope they wouldn't get into too much trouble and that she wouldn't be called in the middle of the night by Peacekeepers who wanted to her to come pick the victors up.
The penthouse was blissfully silent and it was such a relief that she immediately relaxed.
The first thing she did was take off her wig and free her hair from the tight bun she kept it in. The pins had been digging into her skull and it was so good to let the wild curls loose… She tousled it, not even carrying how wild it would look like. Nobody was there to see after all.
She ran herself a bath, poured herself a glass of expensive white wine in one of those glasses that could easily contain half a bottle, lit herself a cigarette and climbed in the warm water.
It was paradise.
She soaked, smoked and drank until her body was perfectly relaxed, the headache a long lost memory.
She didn't really want to move but the bath was more cold than lukewarm now and she knew she would fall asleep if she didn't drag herself to bed. She hauled herself out of the tub, put on her silky red – slightly see-through – nightgown and groaned when she realized she didn't have any more cream for her face. The small jar was empty and the brand new one she had purchased that very afternoon was still in the purse she had carried around that day. And she had left it hanging on the coat rack in the main hallway because she had been distracted by Haymitch and his ridiculous antics before the party.
She was so ready to go to bed and put the entire day behind her that she almost passed on it. But one good look at her reflection in the mirror reminded her that she was past thirty and that her skin needed even more care than it used to, all the more so given the amount of make-up that went on it every day. She sighed and then grabbed her red silk dressing gown before heading out of her room, practically hugging the walls even though she knew the penthouse was empty.
Well, almost empty. Avoxes didn't really count.
And yet she hated the idea of being caught wigless and bare-faced by anyone, even a reformed criminal.
She had just grabbed the strap of her purse when she noticed the humming. Her eyes immediately darted to the elevator that, surely enough, indicated someone was on their way up.
Now, logically, she knew it would only be Haymitch coming back from whenever he had been. Chances were, he would be alone.
Chances were.
The flight instinct was too strong to fight, she so did not want anyone to see her like this… She ducked in the living-room just at the elevator chimed, telling herself that if he was alone she would just stroll out casually and pretended to be looking for something.
He was not, as it turned out, alone.
She heard the voices, identified them easily enough and panicked.
She almost dove behind the couch but it was a stupid hiding place and if they found her – and they would find her – she would be humiliated.
She dashed across the living-room to the dining-room and barely reached it in time. The three victors were already stumbling into the room, laughing themselves silly.
They were drunk or on their way there and she wasn't surprised.
Effie hid in the shadow next to the dining-room door with a muffled curse. Unless she was ready to waltz out of there, looking like she did, she was trapped for the foreseeable future. And knowing them, it could be the whole night.
"Oh come on, Haymitch…" Chaff called out, still laughing his bark of a laugh. "You're telling me you like them better on their back than on their knees?"
Effie froze, shocked for a second, and then rolled her eyes.
She slowly let herself slid down the wall until her butt hit the cold floorboards.
"I'm a simple guy." Haymitch was chuckling quietly. She could almost imagine the shrug that had probably gone with that answer.
"Capitols are always better from behind." Finnick remarked. "Get me one."
"Sure you haven't had enough?" Haymitch challenged but she heard the telltale clicking sounds of ice cubes and glasses being filled and then passed around.
"Mmm…" Chaff hummed. "From behind. Yeah, I like that… Ain't hard to convince a Capitol woman either… Bitches in heat, they are… Now you ask a District woman…"
"Good luck getting a District woman to sleep with you without her talking marriage first…" Haymitch snorted.
"True." Chaff granted. "Capitols are loose but at least they know how to have fun. I guess that's one thing they're good for." Effie tried not to breathe out too loud in irritation. She wrapped her arms around her legs and hugged herself for warmth. It was going to be a long night. "Still." Eleven's victor insisted. "Missionary, really? That's your favorite?"
There was no verbal answer from Haymitch.
Effie's lips twitched. She could so easily picture his awkward shrug. The tips of ears were probably red too.
He was never entirely at ease when it came to talking about sex. She found it endearingly charming.
"You need to expand your horizons." Finnick mocked, his words a little slurred.
"I've had them expanded enough." Haymitch snorted almost with fondness, as if it was a private joke.
And Effie smiled because she got the joke even if none of the other men would.
Eight years earlier – eight years already? – when they had started sleeping together, he had been so… Not naïve, perhaps, because he certainly had been no virgin but he hadn't been that skilled either. Sex, to him, had been about stealing his pleasure, not caring one bit about his partner's.
He hadn't been that imaginative either.
She had introduced him to so many delightful things that…
"Not enough, clearly." Chaff teased. "How can missionary be your favorite? It's boring."
"Depends who you do it with." Haymitch dismissed.
Effie closed her eyes and pressed the back of her head harder against the wall.
Truth be told, when she had been young – younger, it pained her to admit she wasn't that young anymore – she would have probably agreed with Chaff. Sex in the Capitol could never be that common. Being unimaginative was the last thing you did if you wanted to be relevant.
She had never really understood why Haymitch liked missionary that much, not until a couple of years earlier, not until they had more or less left casual behind without really discussing it. The intimacy of the position… It was far from behind boring.
She loved it now.
Her legs wrapped around his waist, his weight crushing her to the mattress, the lust in his grey eyes as they bored into hers…
"Nah." Chaff scoffed. "No matter who you do it with, it ain't better than a naked woman on her knees right in front of you…"
She opened her eyes, her daydream shattered by Eleven's victor's more prosaic tone.
"Never said I didn't enjoy a good blow job." Haymitch sighed. "Just said it ain't what I like best, it's all."
Haymitch's voice had gone a little dreamy too and Effie wondered if he was thinking about the previous night too. She had stripped down for him, made it a show, and then he had tugged her on the bed and he had rolled on top of her and…
"Then you've never been with a girl who knew how to work it." Chaff argued. "Kid, help me out here."
Effie had almost forgotten Finnick was there because he had been quiet for several minutes. She understood why when he spoke next, clearly Four's victor was well into his cup. "Blow jobs are the best. You remember Layla from Three? Remember we had that thing for a while? Fuck, her mouth…"
"Fuck her mouth, that's what I'm talking about." Chaff approved with a crude laugh. There was a brief moment of silence when Chaff kept chuckling, probably drunk too, and the clicking of glasses could be heard. "You know what I think, Haymitch?"
"Do I want to know?" Twelve's victor deadpanned.
"I think Trinket's so stuck up she doesn't know how to suck someone off properly."
Effie gasped and immediately pressed her hands against her mouth to muffle the shocked sound.
There was such a silence in the other room that she was certain someone had heard her but nobody came to investigate.
"How would I know?" Haymitch ended up saying, a beat too late to be convincing.
The lie was running old.
And, Effie supposed, they were being too obvious even when they tried to be cautious.
"Fine." Chaff said, clearly humoring him. "For the sake of the argument, let's say you don't. You think she's any good at that? The woman's got such a big pole in the ass she probably never dropped to her knees once in her life… She's probably the kind of entitled bitch who lies down on her back and expect you to do all the work. Probably she'd even make you eat her out first. Am I wrong?"
"Not what I heard…" Finnick cut in, his voice even more sluggish than earlier. "Not what I heard at all."
Haymitch's voice dropped an octave into dangerous territory and Effie, at least, was glad to hear the hint of irritation. Unfortunately, it wasn't quite the vocal defense she had hoped for. "She ain't as stuck up as you think."
"So she's good at sucking you off?" Chaff challenged, sounding a tad too triumphant for her tastes. "That's what you're saying?"
"I'm saying…" Haymitch's voice drawled out, his accent thick. "I'm saying I imagine she'd be pretty good at it… Plus, nice way to shut her up."
Effie clenched her jaw not to gape again.
The impudence…
It was one thing to joke about it when they were alone, it was entirely another to…
"What's even your problem with eating a girl out?" Haymitch taunted. "Not into it? What… You like them sucking you off but you ain't good at making them get off the same way?"
She pursed her lips in annoyance and propped her chin on her knees.
"I like eating them out." Chaff countered. "Don't like when they act like I have to. Don't need that to make them come."
Or so he thinks, she petulantly mused. She knew men like Chaff… They thought their penis was gold. He had a reputation for giving a good time but sitting there listening at his drunken rambles, she wondered if he even knew how to find a woman's clit.
"Yeah, well…" Haymitch retorted. "I don't need a girl sucking on my dick to come either. I like it the traditional way. To each their own."
"To each their own." Finnick repeated, as if he was raising a drunken toast.
"I think you've had enough, kid." Chaff declared, amused but with a touch of seriousness underneath. "Switch to water or Mags's gonna have my ass on a plate."
"Kinky." Haymitch deadpanned. "Didn't know you were into her."
Eleven's victor snorted. "Now, buddy… You know my heart's taken…"
Haymitch chuckled. "Sorry… You're what now? Cause last time I checked, it wasn't your heart that was taken with that sponsor…"
"Well, what can I say?" Chaff laughed. "I'm in lust. She's got the softest tits I've ever touched. Fuck, but when you suck on them she makes that sound… And when I fuck her hard, they bounce. Could watch her bouncing tits all night…"
He let out a dreamy sigh.
"Too much information." Haymitch cut him off.
Too much information, indeed.
Effie was well aware Chaff had been more or less pursuing the brand new young wife of a sponsor since the beginning of the Games but she didn't want to hear about it firsthand. She had zero desire to know what Eleven's victor got up to behind closed doors.
Or how bouncy that woman's breasts were. Now, she would be staring at them and picturing it the next time they would meet. The woman was tolerably attractive, after all, and she did have a tiny thing for bouncy breasts herself and…
Damn Chaff.
"You're just jealous…" Chaff accused good-heartedly, still laughing.
"Over that one? Hardly." Haymitch scoffed. "Not my type."
"Cause she's got tits and Trinket doesn't?"
Now… His best friend was clearly trying to rile him up but Effie was truly getting annoyed. Did he have to make mean comments about her breasts all the time? She looked down at her cleavage, her lips pursing harder. She was aware there wasn't much there. Her mother had been pushing for years for her to get some plastic surgery… But she was a model first and foremost and, while she was getting a bit too old for catwalks and the likes, her figure was still… Haymitch said he liked it. When she talked about getting bigger breasts, he always got angry. He said he liked that they fitted in his hands and he didn't like fake breasts and…
"At least hers are real." he snapped, just as defensive as she would have been.
It made her feel better, even though it wasn't really… subtle.
"How would you know?" Chaff teased.
Haymitch groaned. There was a brief silence and Effie decided he had probably flashed him the finger. She couldn't say she approved of his vulgarity but… Chaff deserved it.
"Ain't gonna keep her much longer." Eleven's victor added, his voice a little more serious. "She's getting attached and the hubby's getting suspicious."
"Please." he scoffed. "Everyone knows already. No way he hasn't caught up."
"Bit of an idiot." Chaff commented. "By the time he figures it out, I'll have moved on to another bird. By the way, you need to get your escort to introduce me to that friend of hers… Blue wig, pretty legs…" Assia, Effie thought, he meant Assia. There was no way she was introducing her poor friend to Chaff. No way. "I want to hit that."
There was a rustle of fabric and the sound of someone sighing. Familiar footsteps. Haymitch's. The sound of bottles being moved…
"I don't know how you keep up. You're what… forty-four?" he snorted. "And don't tell me you don't get some in your District either 'cause unlike us who make do with a month or two of sex a year, I know you get your fill…" She heard him pour himself another drink. "You never get tired?"
"Of getting laid?" Chaff made the question sound so stupid…
She must admit she found it quite idiotic too. She couldn't imagine getting tired of sex even in her forties. Sex was… She did love sex. The only reason she went without it for most of the year was because she truly… Her feelings for Haymitch were… It was all complicated but he had ruined her for other lovers and no one else would satisfy her like he could.
"Of the lack of meaning." Haymitch answered, almost cautiously.
Effie tensed.
What did he mean the lack of meaning?
She had thought…
"Sex is sex, buddy." Chaff dismissed. "It's an animal thing."
"We're not animals." he argued.
"Tell that to the Capitols…" Eleven's victor joked. She heard a glass being placed down. "Look… I get it. You like to gaze tenderly into her eyes as you make love to her and that's why you like missionary so bad. That's sweet. Twisted and fucked up and probably dangerous, but sweet. Haven't had that in a while. The meaning, if you want to call it that. Won't stop me from getting my fun."
Oh.
Effie relaxed.
"Ain't like that." Haymitch muttered.
"Course not, cause you're not fucking her." Chaff mocked. "You're a soft heart, kid."
Eleven's victor sounded almost fond.
It was easy to forget, she mused, just how deeply their friendship ran, sometimes. Particularly lately. Chaff had been growing very bitter recently, aggressive in his dislike.
"I ain't a soft anything." Twelve's victor scoffed.
"Sure." Chaff humored him.
There was a long silence.
She wasn't sure exactly what had happened to Finnick. He had been strangely quiet through all of that.
"Ain't because there's meaning that it ain't fun." Haymitch mumbled eventually.
"But is it as fun as picking up a new pretty girl in a bar every night, buddy?" Eleven's victor replied.
More silence.
Effie shifted a little.
Her butt was going numb and she was really getting too old to sit on the floor for long periods of time.
"I'm too old for that." he sighed.
"Too old or too smitten?" Chaff disputed.
She kept expecting Haymitch to get angry, roar a hearty denial and storm out. If it had been her trying to get that sort of admission out of him, he would have been screaming long before then.
But with Chaff…
There was an obvious reluctance, a clear beating around the brush, but he wasn't as closed off about it as he was with her.
"It stopped being fun." Haymitch finally granted. "Picking up girls, one night stands…"
"I know." Chaff admitted. "Maybe I'm the one who's jealous 'cause it's been a while since I've felt that…" He let out a long breath. "I still think it ain't a good idea what you're doing."
"I've got it under control." he grumbled.
"More like you've got her under your skin." his friend replied. "Though having her under you is the way you like it, if I get it right…"
"Oh, shut up." Haymitch scowled.
There was another long moment of silence only broken by the quiet sounds of glasses being sipped. Effie rested her cheek on her knees and wondered how much longer she would have to freeze out there.
"Think he's gonna wake up soon?" Chaff asked after ten minutes – or maybe five, it was hard to tell.
She supposed he meant Finnick. That explained why the boy had been so silent…
"No way." Haymitch said. "Let him sleep it off here. Better than Mags twisting your head off cause you're bringing back his drunk ass…"
"Fine with me." Eleven's victor professed. "I'm off to bed, then. Thanks for the drink."
The sound of their conversation turned into a distant mumble.
Effie chanced a glance in the living-room. It was empty except for Finnick who was curled up on the couch, hugging a throw pillow to his chest, fast asleep. She listened but she couldn't hear the elevator so she concluded that Chaff had already left and Haymitch had gone to his room. She walked out only to realize Haymitch was still in the hallway – albeit with his back turned, mercifully.
He startled badly when he spotted her, his hand coming up to clench at his heart. "Fuck!"
She startled right back, albeit not for the same reasons.
"My apologies." she offered. "I did not mean to scare you."
He frowned. "Where the fuck did you come from and why are you sneaking up on me?"
"My bedroom." she lied, blinking slowly as if the answer was an obvious one. "I was not trying to sneak up on you, as you say, how ludicrous."
He glanced at the living-room, a little suspicious, but, in the end, he shrugged. "Didn't know you were here. Thought you were still out."
"I came back early, I had a headache." she offered, pursing her lips and narrowing her eyes at him. "You are far less drunk than I anticipated when I could not find you at that party. Did you just come back?"
He shook his head. "Been here a while. Haven't you heard us?"
"I was taking a bath." She pursed her lips harder. "What us? Because if your awful best friend is around…"
Her hand flew to her loose hair and she took a step back down the corridor, as if afraid she would get caught looking like that. It seemed to do the trick because he softened with some amusement.
"He just left. Finnick's sleeping off the booze on the couch, though." he explained, following her. The more she stepped back, the more he stepped forward. He was smirking but she was grinning just how hard, not quite sure who was leading who toward her bedroom. "How's your headache, then?"
"Better." she hummed.
"Good." he said, his smirk deepening.
"Is it?" she asked innocently, bumping into the doorframe of her bedroom.
She barely had time to shriek before he was pouncing on her, grabbing her around the waist.
She was laughing by the time he dropped her on the bed though.
And she didn't protest when he nudged her thighs apart with his leg so he could nestle himself between them.
She had become quite found of that position too…