What once was lost but now is found? - Chapter 11

Jason P.O.V.

I sit back and watch as the buildings of Gotham blur past me as I leave the city. This city has caused me both happiness and pain, maybe Bludhaven will be a nice break, well as long as I don't run into any of the justice babies. A lot has happened to me, I feel like I am losing who I am. I remember how happy I was when I first became Robin, Richard left behind a legacy and I was more than happy to take up his post, to continue his legacy. Of course Bruce became the father I never had, but the more I grew the more rebellious I became, then that fateful day in Sarajevo happened. I should have listened to Batman. It was a trap, the Joker wanted me to follow him. The torture that night could never be forgotten, the pain from my broken ribs, the coldness of the crowbar against my skin. I can still hear the soft crunch of my bones breaking. When I close my eyes all I see is the Jokers face smiling down at me, laughing at my pain. The memory of the moment I realised batman wasn't coming to save me was still fresh in my mind, the few seconds before my death one question was fresh in my mind, where was batman? I mean Batman always made it just in time, so where was he? Where was the man I believed to be my father? Just before the last second before that bomb blew, my life flashed before my eyes. I had no regrets, I accepted my death.

I can still feel the pain from being hit by the blast, the bomb shrapnel entering my already half dead body. I remember the feeling of my soul leaving my body, the emptiness, the darkness. However that pain was nothing compared to the pain of being resurrected by the Lazarus pit. The pain was more than physical, it was mental as well as emotional. It took me five years to be sure I was ready to exact my revenge on the Joker.

Even now I'm pissed that Bruce didn't get revenge for my death, which on its own is proof he never care. What makes things worst is he replaced me with that brat Tim, he didn't learn from his mistakes with me. He let the joker get away with hurting another member of our family, even for Babs he never got revenge on the Joker. To this day the joker is still alive and breathing, even if he rotting in Arkham, he's still breathing and that is still too good for him. In some ways I still feel hurt by how little Bruce cares about me, this is the man I looked up to, the man who promised he would never let anyone hurt me. He promised me he always protect me, but he broke that promise the day he let the Joker kill me.

My 'father' wasn't the only one who abandoned me, no this one hurt more. I always thought that all brothers were close, would do anything to protect their siblings. Well I thought this until I saw how easily Richard replaced me, he was my big brother, the first Robin. He was my idol and my best friend. I guess he didn't care about me as much as I did him. He was able to replace me so easily, and this angered me. It's the reason I treat him the way I do, at this moment in time he means nothing to me. Growing up being mentored by Batman was far from easy, but having Dick around helped, knowing that he had been through the same thing as me. Whenever I thought I couldn't do it anymore, he was always there, well whenever he wasn't with the team, to tell me that I could do it. He used to always tell me that I had the one thing he didn't, the drive to eventually become batman. He then led to say that one of my main flaws that I had to overcome was my anger, I guess now I can admit I had a little bit of an anger problem. When I was younger and living with my arsehole of a father, I used to always read in the newspapers about who Batman and Robin stopped the night before. I looked up to Robin, not just as a public figure, he was proof that kids weren't completely useless as most adult thought. The day Bruce introduced me to Dick I swear I almost fan-boyed, I had just met the person who was responsible for me not wanting to turn out like my father. My day only got better when Bruce told me he was planning on making me the next 'Boy Wonder' since Dick was planning on become Nightwing, this was a dream come true. So from that day forth I worked my arse off to become a Robin that not only Bruce could be proud of, but Dick could be proud of as well. I wanted to make my 'big brother' proud, but the one thing I never got under control is the same thing that controls me to this very day, my anger. However unlike two years ago the Joker isn't my only reason for my anger, there are two more sources, the two people who I looked up to the most. Bruce and Dick. Is it really surprising? They replaced me so easily with Tim. Dick got a new little brother so I was forgotten. Even when I came back, he was too concerned with his little boyfriend to care if I was back or not. All it would have taken is an apology and I would have forgiven Dick for everything, but now it's too late. Well nothing's changed, Dicks life still revolved around his red haired, speedster boyfriend. This is what else pisses me off, I come back to life and no one gives a shit, but when Wally comes back to life everyone drops everything to make sure he's ok. Well ignoring the fact I went on a murderous rampage when I came back, do I really mean that little to them, am I really that replaceable?

I'm shaken out of my thought by something heavy hitting the train, it pulls to an emergency stop. This gives me the opportunity to look out of the windows to see what had caused some so heavy to hit the train. I jump to the roof of the train, well that explains everything. In the side of the cart next to mine is a nice large boulder, fucking brilliant, I'm going to kill the bastard who prolonged my journey away from Gotham. My eyes dart in the direction the bolder came from, I see a cloud of smoke. I smirk, got you, you bastard. I jump off the roof of the train and run towards my next kill, I'll show them that it's not a good idea to get on the wrong side of Jason Todd.

As I get closer, I begin to conceal my movements, hiding behind the many large rock formations that can be found in this area. When I reach the area I quietly peak round the side of it, to see the person I would be killing. I eyes grew wide when I see the person causing all this trouble, to say it irks me that my one wish for this trip wasn't going to happen. In the clearing I see none other than Super Boy throwing one of his famous tantrums, brilliant just brilliant. I sigh, this is going to be such a drag. I very carefully walk towards the young clone, seeing as it wasn't my plan to die today. As soon as I make my presence known, Conor gives me his full attention. "Oi! Conor! Chill with the rock throwing will you. You almost killed a train full of people, which could have included me. Done the death thing once, wasn't a nice experience"
"Jason?" His eyes go from being wide with shock to being dark with hatred. Well I'm in trouble, I wasn't really in the mood for a fight today. Conor starts throwing punches at me with great speed, now was one of those moments that I'm glad I was trained by Batman and Nightwing. I'm able to dodge each of the punches but barely.
"Conor. Stop. I'm not here to fight you, so please stop" I say as I stop his fist from hitting my face. He looks at me with a look of disbelief at first, but after a moment or two he retracts his fist but still keeps his guard up.
"What do you want then Jason?" he asks defensively.
"Well if you take a look behind me you will see a very lovely train with one of your lovely boulders in it, that's the reason I came over here, though I wasn't expecting it to be you" I say with a sigh "so I'm curious what's got you so angry, from what I've heard, you've got control over your temper now"
"W-Why do you care?" he says, faulting slightly.
"I don't. Like I said I'm curious and I also don't like the fact your temper tantrum nearly got me killed again" I smirk seeing his eyebrow twitch, it was always fun to mess with Conor. "So I'll ask again, what's got you so angry?"
"It's nothing" I raise my eyebrow, and give him a look that simply says 'Bull shit' "I'm just not dealing with being dumped very well". Now my eyebrow twitches, I almost get killed because he can't deal with being dumped, that's just brilliant.
"Last I heard, you and Megan were over for good" he gives me a look and I understood "It wasn't Megan? So who was it?"
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you" okay now I'm really interested, I give him a look that told him to continue. He sighs and sits on a large rock, he looks me in the eyes "It's Richard". A few moments pass, silence falling between the two of us, Richard and Conor? Well I never saw that coming, for once I was lost for words "we weren't together long but I've had feelings for him for a while but never approached him because he was still dealing with Wally dying" he says Wally's name which such hatred, or jealousy, I can't figure which it is "after Wally's return, I was waiting for chance to tell him how I felt. When I found out he liked me I was finally happy for the first time in ages. However not even after a day of us being together he dumps me, admitting to me that he's in love with Wally. I was shocked and hurt.."
"Wait! You mean to tell me that you never once figured it out that Richard is in love with Wally?" I begin to laugh "That's brilliant, I mean I knew you didn't know much about human emotions but I didn't know you were that clueless". After a few moments my laughing stops, I glance over at Conor who does not look happy. He meets my eyes, and holds them. "I'm going to be serious and harsh with you. You got dumped. So what. Man up a little, being dumped and getting your feelings hurt is a normal human experience. It happens to all of us. You know what I say. Grow a pair and get over it." I see his fist tighten from the corner of my eye "Richards not worth it anyway". With that said, I turn my heels and begin my long walk back to Gotham. This whole Journey has been a colossal waste of time.

Thank you to my readers for being patient. Jason Todd is one of my favourite DC characters so I wanted to make his chapter the best I could. Please let me know what you thought.