After Anthony's prison sentence, John drives back to Massachusetts, and heads back to work. "Sometimes, John Cena just feels like the Employee of the Month Championship just isn't worth it" Cena depressingly thought to himself. Struck with the feeling of Ennui, John Cena would slowly, day by day become numb to the repetition of his office job. Every day of the week, with the same schedule, sitting in the same chair, in the same cubical, constantly in front of the same computer, working on the same thing, or anything related to it just to do it again and be expected to repeat the process for 30 years, not to mention no-one could see him, making the work he does completely useless. "My time is now" John cried to himself, as he headed to the rooftop of the building, located somewhere in Massachusetts. However, Cena would decide not to go with this idea. As Cena was headed back to his bland, repetitive office job, to do the same thing, he noticed out of the corner of his eye, the most annoying star of the WWE, The only title holder for the WWE Internet Champion, Zack Ryder. "Woo Woo Woo" the unbearable baby drop victim borked out as intolerable as possible, "So, you think you're untouchable? John asked the insufferable numbskull "I heard you think you can eat cookies than me" Zack responded, furious at the claim. "You got it all wrong man, someone set me up" The former marine spoke. Ryder began to reach into his pocket where he pulled out a Heilongjiang hand cannon, "This baby right here is more than enough to finish more than just your career" Zack smirked, continuing his speech nobody cared about, "And in my other pocket, are 12 rounds." John knew if he stood perfectly still, Zack Ryder couldn't see him, but now, he has a really big problem, he needed to escape Zack's line of sight for it to work. John began running around, Zack began missing shots, because he was trying to record Cena's death. Cena found a spot behind a door, Ryder couldn't focus because Twitter was more important to him than Cena at the moment, allowing Cena to stealthily walk up to the Long Island Iced Z, and deliver a devastating Attitude Adjustment. John grabs his behind technology gun and throws it off the roof, and gets into the face of the irritating failure he just beat, and in an annoying tone asks "What now? the fight's over." And with that, Cena returns to his home, and finds the cellphone ringing, the ringtone of course being his own theme. The number was strange, as if it was from like, Europe or something like that, so John made the rational choice of not answering. John Cena climbed the rungs of the corporate ladder, winning champions, but whenever he was ever about to become CEO Champion, "I will defeat whoever the CEO Champion is" Exclaimed Cena, he then heard a voice, "I don't think so." "What?" Cena questioned, AJ Styles shows up, "Since Yesterday, I have been the title holder of CEO Champion" AJ Styles explained. He then proceeds to pull out a John Cena action figure, "This is you, obviously" AJ smirked, then pulling out a toy Mack Truck, "And this is me." "Brrrrrrrrrrrr" mouthed out AJ, doing his best impression of a Semi Truck, then flattening Cena. He continued to imitate Semi Truck noises, "Beep Beep Beep Beep." He stopped the annoying Semi Truck noises, and glanced at the CEO Championship Challenger, although, this isn't a 1 on 1 for the title, it's a 1 on 2. The Phenomenal one is also joined by his COO Samoa Joe, Samoa COO Joe. Cena quickly started to repeatedly punch both men, but quickly ran out of energy, allowing for Samoa COO Joe to quickly perform a Samoan Drop. Both men would begin to repeatedly kick John, as he never had the chance to get up at all. After about five minutes of stomping, John does his Super-Cena schtick everybody hates, and repeatedly escapes multiple pins at the 2 count. After a while, both men start to get tired, allowing the momentum to move into John's favor. John Cena now looks to be the new CEO Champion when he starts performing numerous Attitude Adjustments to AJ Styles and Samoa COO Joe. After about 2 minutes of the same move, also known as the average John Cena match, proceeds to pin Samoa COO Joe. "1, 2, 3" the referee slow counted, trying to give the CEO time, but it didn't work. Cena pinned Samoa COO Joe, so he doesn't get the title, but Samoa COO Joe shouldn't have been in the match, so they repeat the match like it's Royal Rumble 2005. The ref knew how Johns power works, Super Cena only works if he's lasted long enough in the match he's in, and only works in the match it's used in, allowing for Styles to pick up a quick win with his finisher, The Styles Clash. "1, 2, 3" the referee fast counted, thinking this was going to get him a promotion, it didn't. Cena was promptly fired after the match, and drives back to his home. At his home, he flips on the news to temporarily get his mind off the loss of his job, but there he sees something more interesting, a riot happened at the prison Anthony was sent, and a bipedal beluga whale with a bad haircut managed to slip through. John calls The Rock, and he picks up. "Hello?" the electrifying one asks, "You see the news?" John asked, looking at the news on his 13 inch Shrek TV. "The Rock watched the news" answered The Rock, who watched the news. John asks an important question, knowing he's seen no elephant poop being caught in Massachusetts zoos, "Where have you been?". The Rock explains his story from the court day, to right now, and this is how we do it.
After the trial, Rock went to catch the closest zoos elephant poop, however, The Rock may have caught the poop, but he just suddenly fell asleep in the elephant enclosure as soon the defecation had been evacuated from the premises. Rock had forgot just one thing, the zoo was going to move their elephants, to the ZSL London Zoo. As soon as the electrifying one woke, he felt a sudden panic to see a different enclosure, and a man yelling out "Why's this nutter in the elephant's chambers?". NOBODY calls The Rock a nutter. He quickly walks out of the elephant enclosure and walks up to the face of this agonizing brit, and delivers a devastating Rock Bottom. "The Rock spends his time shoveling crap just to get more crap from a tea-drinking pansy? What's your name, jabroni?" The Rock responds furious to the downed Anglo, "My name is- "the man begins to piece together in his annoying accent, "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!" Rock interrupts. With only seven bucks in his pocket, he thinks to find any way to go home as long as he could avoid touching the water, for he would sink. He did attempt to call John Cena via payphone, yet he never picked up. Around town he finds some interesting descriptions. A family man, a weather man, and an army of one, some jabroni is walking around pretending to be The Rock, and Dwayne was hard on the case. Rock managed to piece together numerous witness accounts and used a map of England to guess where this jabroni headed next, and his calculation worked. As many people gathered around to watch "The Rock", The Rock showed up, holding a piece of chocolate cake, and proceeded to walk up to the man wearing the mask, and asked a simple question, "What's your name?" "Joe" the impostor answered, Rock corrected him, saying his name is Dwayne, and would pulled his masked Face/Off. By god! It was the man himself, the Lord of War, the Outcast, Nicolas Cage. "You may be a National Treasure, but not in the eyes of the great one!" Rock bickered at the Wicker Man, but before he could land a punch, Nic left. Cage is a Runner, and if not defeated quickly, will be Gone in 60 Seconds. Luckily, The Rock knew how to get the Spirit of Vengeance's interest, he quickly grabbed his piece of chocolate cake, and asked the important question, "Do you want this cake?". Just like that, Cage's chocolate cake detector went off, and he started Leaving Las Vegas, moving with such speed as if he was Racing with the Moon, just to give his answer to the important question, "I want it!". He reached for the cake, but was Moonstruck to find out it was a trap, The Rock quickly attacked The Sorcerer's Apprentice with a Rock Bottom. "1, 2, 3," a referee from inside of a nearby dumpster counted. Because The Rock won the match, Nicolas Cage Will Drive Angry to America, along the way, Nic Cage, seething, made Crood remarks about the much boulder person. After entering America, Rock had a Game Plan to get back home, to jump off the Empire State, and land on the rooftops of numerous Skyscrapers. Unfortunately, Skyscraper Witches exist, and turned The Rock into the Tooth Fairy, he began screaming in pain as he sprouted wings, and shrunk in size. The Rock flew over to the skyscraper witch, who's trying to breath as she fly's away with her pug shaped skull. With his blood, sweat, and respect, he manages to attack at his short stature. For some reason, skyscraper witches have antidotes for their own curses, Rock took it, but he's also 354 feet in to the air, so he just kind of fly's home while carrying it, and makes it to his living area at the end of the day, and proceed to crash down on his black leather couch, flipping to news channel as he watches his SpongeBob TV. Rock is in a state of surprise to find a prison riot broke out, he also saw an elephant standing on two legs. Just then, The Rock receives an electrifying call. "Yah, it's rewind time" Will Smith spoke, as he watched from his own house, so I can have transition into the other tale.
Anthony managed to fit on the prison bus somehow, and impressively didn't eat the entirety of the mess hall. He approached his cell, jiggling throughout. If you've ever seen The Blob, you've got a good understanding of what his day to day life looked like. Whenever he isn't stuffing anything in the lockup he could get his greasy, sausage fingers on, he was trying to organize an escape plan, and a riot whenever he wasn't thinking about how much of the prison he could eat, which was not very often. It's also hard to organize a riot if you're unhinging your jaw, eating just about everybody's food. He managed to become a war-lard, having influence through physical combat for other overweight people who can't fight, which gave him a slight voice. Eventually, the day came to finally get out and get revenge on Spider-Man, I mean Rock "Hey idiots, We's been thrown in jus'a set 'ere do nuttin', how's 'bout we stop sittin' down and do some'n 'bout it?" Anthony rallied, sound an awful lot like a smoker. For some reason, people understood that annoying, Yorker accent, and began to riot. Anthony knew he would need something, so headed to the restroom and picked up a pipe from a toilet, managing to not eat it. One of the guards had the idea to check the bathroom for rioters, and headed for the area where our antagonist is, yet Anthony somehow knew the difference between slobbering and clobbering, and proceeded to bash the man in blue's head in. Anthony just sort of waddled around until he got closer to the exit, hiding wherever he could, despite his pear-shaped physique, and bashing heads of whoever walked by, including other prisoners. After a couple hours he managed to get on the bottom floor, and saw the news outside, with cameras pointing at wherever the main point of interest in the building was, thus making it impossible to walk out. However, another cow walked into the room, dawned in the uniform of the country's finest, a sweaty exchange of pipe and baton were made. The building, now having multiple locations of started fire, deteriorated as the battle of the pathetic, out of shape, gas planets raged on. Both of them keep hitting each other's weapons, this exchange of terrible melee weapons could be to the death, but no, were now doing a terrible a re-enactment of Star Wars. As the policeman went and swung yet again, Anthony stopped thinking about spaghetti long enough to do something different. He pathetically overpowered the man in the primary color, and would repeatedly bash his head in, until brain matter was scattered over the weapon provided of the porcelain throne. Anthony, already sweaty before the fight started proceeded to change into uniform, keeping an eye out for any possible witnesses, of which there were none. After the chaos ended, numerous were found dead, and floors of maximum security were severely damaged, he proceeded to exit, managing to make the sight of the camera. And with that, he later returned to his street. Now as a homeless person, he looked through windows not covered by curtains, and managed to see himself on some other guy's TV. He decided to hide to hide out in the one place The Rock would never go, Bronycon.