Chapter 7

Desperate Measures

Jacob groaned, fidgeting at the kitchen table while waiting for Raven to call him Friday evening. He glued his eyes to the telephone driving himself crazy. It sucked! He knew when he decided not to see her anymore it would be tough to break it off, but the struggle raging inside of him was painful and mind-boggling. He'd assumed he'd find at least, a little peace in knowing he was making the right decision. Because, he wasn't ending the relationship for himself. He was ending it for Raven, trying to divert a far more hurtful situation from happening later down the road.

As far as he could tell, the problem he struggled with, which caused the major clashing of his egos, was that he truly didn't know if he was making the right decision. Ending it didn't feel like the right thing to do. It felt more like he was about to make the biggest mistake of his life—an inkling that made no sense to him.

Raven expected seeing him on Saturday, and all week long, he attempted to tell her he couldn't. Every night when she called, he searched for an opening to approach the subject with her, and every night he failed. He hadn't allowed himself to spend any more physical time with her. As if that would make the situation any easier.

He banged his balled-up fist on the tabletop, pissed off at himself for letting their friendship become something more. The phone crashed to the floor, making a dinging sound. Exasperated, he yanked it back up, hearing, "Hello, is someone there?"

"Raven, it's me."

"That's weird. The phone didn't even ring."

"Yeah, I accidentally knocked it off the table. You must have been calling at the same time." He sucked in a breath of air, briefly closing his eyes and letting it out, gathering his courage. "Is there any way I can, ah," he gulped, "see you tonight?"

"I wish there was, but it's already late and my dad isn't in that great of a mood. Can't it wait until tomorrow?"

He'd hoped to deal with the situation in person before she came out to see him Saturday, so she wouldn't be stuck out in La Push all day if she hated him. Which... there was a high possibility she would. "I need to talk to you, and it's really important," he urged. "Please."

Cringing, he disgusted himself for practically begging her to let him break her heart.

"Okay, I'll have Kristy invite me somewhere. No, that won't work. He won't let me go this late. What about... I can always sneak out?"

"Ooh," Jacob hesitated, "I don't know about that. You might get caught. Maybe I can sneak in?"

"You can't sneak in." She chuckled. "Just come by later and help me get out the window. I'm sure if you help, I can do it without making too much noise."

She sounded confident enough, so he agreed to meet her by her window as soon as she gave him the signal.

Glaring up at the sky, he sat in the woods, waiting with reluctance.

The dark shadowed tips of the trees blew back and forth like giant index fingers all aiming at him. Their rustling leaves swooshed shame... shame, shame... shame, repeatedly.

It was ridiculous, and he felt despicable for what he was about to do. But it wasn't just the guilt over hurting her torturing him. He also experienced a certain amount of pain from the reality he'd no longer spend time with her. He huffed, kicking at a tree. It was taking forever for the lights in the house to turn out.

Raven finally blinked the lights on and off, letting him know her parents were asleep and she was ready to go. Sneaking across the street, he tapped on the window.

When she slid the curtains out of the way, he witnessed her entire face light up with happiness. He pushed the window the rest of the way open, leaned in, and carried her out without making a sound. She swung her arms around his neck and kissed him. "I missed you," she whispered.

Unable to find his voice, he swallowed, only managing a weak smile for her in return.

"Leave the window half open. It's easier that way," she told him.

Jacob nodded, set her down, and hurried her across the street, pulling her up the path to a tree they sometimes sat under after jogging. The moon shined bright in the small clearing, sparse of trees, allowing enough light to see visibly.

"So, what's the urgency, Jacob?" Her hair cascaded around her face in the most beautiful manner, with her pouty lips turned up at the corners, unaware something was wrong.

He caught himself about to sweep her hair away from her eyes, but stopped because he knew it wasn't a good idea to touch her. Giving her a thin smile, he tried to find his voice and the courage to do what he needed to do. "Hold on, okay?"

Her smile wilted. "Tell me, Jacob," she pleaded as the beats of her heart thumped. "What is it? What's wrong?"

The sound of her anxiety caused an impulse inside him to curl his arm around her and do everything in his power to make her feel better, but he made himself turn away from her to avoid her troubled eyes. The words weren't coming. "I'm trying, Raven. I really am," he said, forcing both of his hands through his hair.

When he turned back, she brushed the wayward tress of hair behind her ear and met his discouragement with so much love and fear; affection for her overcame him.

Frantic adrenaline erupted inside him, making his heart pound. He felt a desperate need to get her to understand the way things were with him. With no prior consideration, he blurted, "I have to show you something!" Intent on fulfilling his desire to tell her everything about himself and the others, he said, "Wait here. I'll be right back."

Dashing into the trees, Jacob removed his shirt, shoes, and trunks. He phased, calling Seth to help him reveal their wolf transforming abilities. He told Seth to approach them in his human form because he wanted to make sure Raven stayed safe and wasn't too frightened by their revelation.

When he returned, reclothed, Raven was pacing and fiddling with her earing. He winced at the pained glare of uncertainty she gave him.

"Just wait. Seth's on his way, and you'll know everything in a few minutes."

She cocked her eyebrow, puzzled, so he added, "I forgot to tell you that before, and he should have been right behind us. That's what I went to look for." He lied but figured he'd apologize for it afterward.

Reaching for her hand, he hoped to settle her racing heart before Seth arrived.

It didn't take long for him to show up, bringing his trademark happy-go-lucky personality to help ease the tension in the air. "Hey, Raven."

"Hey, Seth." She grinned, and Jacob felt her relax a little more.

"Are you ready, Jake?"

"Ready for what?" She stared at the two of them, confused.

Jacob coiled both of his arms around her, and just the tiny sigh of comfort that slipped through her lips when his arms encircled her gave him goose bumps. "Close your eyes until I say when, don't be afraid and trust me, no matter what."

She shivered, uneasy. "Okay."

He gestured for Seth to phase. When Raven opened her eyes to the huge sandy colored wolf, staring back at her, she went into panic mode. Struggling to break free of Jacob's arms, her entire body shook in terror.

"Shh... Raven," Jacob soothed, holding her as firmly as he could without squeezing her. "It's okay. It's just Seth. He won't hurt you. It's Seth."

"Seth?" Raven's mouth dropped open, looking lost.

"He won't hurt you," Jacob assured, tilting his head at Seth and motioning for him to come closer.

Raven froze, not taking her eyes from the wolf nudging her arm with its muzzle. She slowly reached out to touch his fur, and her body loosened enough for Jacob to know some of her fear had gone.

After that, he kissed her on her cheek then swung her around in the opposite direction of Seth, telling him to phase back.

"Wild, huh?" Seth declared.

Raven didn't utter a word as she fiddled with her ear, mystified.

When Seth left, Jacob blew a huge gust of air from his lungs and dropped himself down to sit on the ground, feeling a thousand times lighter than he had all week long. There was no doubt in his heart or mind telling her was the answer he'd been searching for. Tugging Raven down beside him, he grinned. "There! Now that went better than I thought it would."

"Jacob I... what's, I'm, he..." She covered her face with her palms.

He put his arm around her hips and slid her close beside him, glad to feel her trembles had subsided. She peered into his eyes with wonderment.

"Just listen, Raven. I'm not done."

"You mean there's more?"

He gathered her hands in his, and looked deep into her dazed eyes. "It's like this. There really is such a thing as vampires. I mean the literal, bloodthirsty vampires you see in the movies and on TV. You know... Like the ones on Vampire Diaries. I know how you girls like to watch that show."

Raven slid her hands from his, and placed her palms against her temples, shaking her head, as if maybe she didn't hear him correctly. "What... what are you saying to me, Jacob?" She narrowed her eyes in reproach. "Don't joke... I'm freaked out right now."

"I'm serious, Raven. Look, I just showed you a boy who could turn into a wolf."

"Oh, yeah, that's true," she let out a nervous chuckle.

"Just try to have an open mind while I explain."

Jacob opened his mouth unleashing the secrets of the wolves, the vampire battles, and the history behind it all. It spilled out effortlessly. It really helped that Raven was engrossed in the stories. Her attention made him feel like he could tell her anything, and he didn't regret his desperate and impulsive decision to do so, one bit. "So, that's how and why most of my friends and I shift into wolves."

All the color and clarity had returned to her face. "I don't know what to say," she muttered.

"I know its a lot to take in, but I needed you to know. I didn't think I did, but I must have because I feel great telling you."

"Can you show me then?"

"You won't be afraid?"

She shook her head. "I promise."

Jacob pursed his lips in a short deliberation then sauntered into the trees and came back out as his furry self.

Leaping to her feet, she kept her eyes locked with his as he approached at a careful speed. When he got close to her, she put her arms around his neck and pressed her face against his fur. She behaved attractively fearless toward him, and Jacob sensed her heart's racing was from excitement.

She held him for a moment before letting him go. Then he went back into the trees and came back out in his human form.

"You're magnificent, Jacob! The most beautiful wolf I've ever seen," she said in awe.

Jacob couldn't have been happier with her reaction to him. He stretched out on his back where they had been sitting, his arms cradling his head. Raven nestled against him, flinging her arm over his chest and sharing his arm pillow, while he continued to tell her all about himself and the other wolves. Playing it by ear, he intended to give her only as much information as it seemed she could handle. Based on the strength of her receptiveness, he readied himself to give her the works.

Before he said anything about imprinting, he collected his thoughts. Then he began with Sam imprinting on Emily. When he finished telling her their story, Raven sat back up and swept her sight over his face. Her eyes clouded with dread. "Does it happen to all of...?" She coughed forcedly and finished asking, "Will that happen to you?"

Here goes everything. Jacob repositioned himself, sitting upright, and opened his mouth to tell her about Nessie, but Raven cupped his face and pressed her lips hard against his. His will bent and grasping her tight, he thought how only a few hours earlier he thought he'd never taste her lips again.

When she let up, she covered his mouth with her hand "Can we just save the rest for another time?" she asked. "I've heard so much tonight, and I need time to process it all."

Jacob nodded, feeling relieved. Nearly all of it was out in the open, and Raven seemed comfortable. He figured once she had time to adjust to everything, it would be easier for her to understand imprinting. She went silent. He wondered what she was thinking about as she sat staring at the ground. Then she lifted her head, wearing a smile and giggling.

Jacob slanted his eyes in amusement. "What's the joke?"

"Sometimes I just think funny thoughts. I was thinking about that old thriller video. Mom's an eighties freak. Thank goodness you didn't transform into a creepy wolf like that!" She laughed. "But I can picture you doing that dance."

Jacob chuckled at her absurd mental image. Raven wrinkled her nose, making a silly face at him.

"You're goofy," he teased. "I just told you all this amazing and unbelievable stuff and all you could think about is a dancing werewolf."

Grinning, she said, "Things have been tensed all night. I want to laugh a little. Besides, it's better than what I was thinking about, before."

"What was that?"

She dropped her head.

"C'mon, Raven, I want to know what you're thinking."

"I thought about how glad I am that you didn't bring me out here to tell me you had a girlfriend somewhere." Raven raised her eyebrows as if asking him a question. "Cause that's what I was afraid you were trying to tell me."

Jacob's neck and ears went hot. "No, you're the only girlfriend."

"Good." She slipped her arm through his arm and squeezed him tight, pressing her head against his shoulder. She quivered, causing him to wonder what time it was. He had lost track of it, and thought it had to be close to dawn by now. He decided he better get her back home.

When they came to the edge of the trees, his eyes hit the light on in Raven's bedroom, and the window was closed.

"Uh, oh, busted," she panted in fear. They stood and stared at the illuminated window.

Jacob was without a helpful thought and didn't know what to do or say. When Raven squared her shoulders and moved forward, Jacob seized her arm and turned her to face him. "Do me a favor, will you?"

She raised her eyebrows and nodded.

"If it gets bad in there, turn right around and come back out here. I'll take you over to Charlie's place. I'll be waiting here just in case, until you wave me to go."

Raven's face was pale and more frightened than she appeared when she first opened her eyes and saw a gigantic vicious looking wolf. He gave her a tender kiss then watched her bravely extend one leg out into the street to cross to the other side.

"Raven," he quietly called.

She turned her head back to look at him.

"I do love you!" he blurted. His hand came to the top of his head in surprise as he heard the words he never expected to say. It was well worth it, though, seeing her terrified expression change to star-struck blissfulness right before his eyes.

She smiled, euphoric, gliding across the street and into her house.

Feeling anxious, he waited, when a terrified, pain-filled howling cut through the blackened forest, shaking him to his core.