Prompt: May i prompt? When effie lives with haymitch post-mj, he notices she looks a little reserved whenever katniss and peeta say i love you to each other. After thinking on it for a while he realises that considering how detached effie's family were even before the war, she probably never really heard 'i love you' much. Maybe haymitch decides he needs to suck it up for her because she's having too hard of a time for him to be paranoid about stuff like saying i love you and not put her first for once
The Meaning Of Family
It took two years, Haymitch mused, but the children had finally entered the lovey-dovey phase that made everyone around couples very uncomfortable.
Not that everyone would ever accuse Katniss of being overly demonstrative – or even girly for that matter – but it wasn't rare anymore to see them huddled close together, always in the other's space, whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears and touching all the damn time. It was good to see. Of course, Haymitch could have done without the display at his kitchen table during dinner…
He could have also done without Effie watching them with that soft look of longing on her face every time Peeta murmured to Katniss that he loved her – to his defense, the boy probably thought he was being sneaky and discreet but he wasn't really because the kitchen was small and Haymitch and Effie weren't as absorbed by their conversation as they pretended to be.
The strange yearning didn't really fade off, even after the children had left for their own home. He tossed her furtive glances as he handed her plates to dry after washing them up – doing the dishes wasn't his favorite thing but they had become quick and efficient at it – but she was a little distant, lost in her own thoughts in a way that made him wary. Flashbacks and panic attacks were mostly over now but sometimes it only took the smallest thing to trigger bad memories.
"I've got to talk to the boy about the PDA." he muttered after a while. "They make a fuss every time they catch us kissing but they don't mind having their hands all over each other at my fucking table…"
"They are young." Effie hummed, holding her hand out for the next plate. "Leave them be." They had finished the dishes by the time she volunteered more. "I think it is nice how at ease they are with expressing their feelings…"
He lifted an eyebrow, his lips stretching into a smirk, and he wrapped his arms around her before she could step away from the sink. "You're regretting shaking up with an old closed-up bitter man already?"
He wished the question wasn't as uncertain as it ended up sounding. She had made it clear – after he had told her she was welcome to stop pretending she was just visiting – she intended to stay but he was a bit scared that one day he would wake up and she would be gone because she would have realized that she loved city life and loathed country living.
"Of course not." she huffed, wrapping her arms around his neck. She looked playful but there was still a regretful sadness in her gaze. "I suppose… It is just nice to be part of a family with people who actually like each other and let them know." She lifted on tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his mouth. "I am going to bed. Are you coming up or are you reading for a while?"
He shrugged. "Can read in bed." The lamp in their bedroom hurt his eyes if he read for a long time but he didn't want to leave her alone right then. He still thought something felt… off.
Nothing in her behavior rang any alarm bells for him after that, though. She was just as chatty and flirty as usual and she didn't look like she was about to collapse in a sobbing mess… He let it rest, settling on his side of the bed with his novel and trying to figure out why exactly she had looked so…
She was running her nails up and down his forearm sleepily while he read – or rather stared at the page and thought, mulling over her every word from earlier… Family, she had said, and… He closed his book and looked down at her. Her eyelids were drooping but she wasn't quite drifting off yet… It was the kind of moments he loved, when it was just the two of them, all quiet and soft, like he had never thought they would be able to get…
"Your folks… They ain't the most affectionate people…" he remarked slowly.
"Understatement of the century." she huffed sleepily.
He was silent for a while, trying to piece together what he knew – and it wasn't much – about her childhood… What he had guessed early on in their acquaintance was that she had an almost pathological need to be loved. That was why she had sought fame, what had driven her to do half the things she had ever done…
"They never told you they loved you, did they?" he asked after a moment, a little hesitant.
"Only when it benefited them…" she hummed, snuggling closer to him. "It does not matter. I know they loved me but it was out of duty, because you are supposed to love your family. I love our own better. We chose each other."
He was pretty sure she wouldn't have admitted half as much if she hadn't been halfway gone to slumber already.
He took a deep breath, fighting through his self-imposed conditioning when it came to feelings… "You know… You know I… I…" He sputtered to a stop. But he wanted to say it and she was looking at him now, all curious, blinking sleep from her eyes… Suck it up, he told himself. He swallowed hard, cupped her cheek. "I… love you."
Awe and amazement flashed on her face.
It was a good thing she knew him well. Too well to turn this into a huge thing. He had never said it before. He had hinted and hadn't protested when she had said he loved her but he hadn't said the words yet and it was making him panic and…
But she knew him so well…
"I love you too, darling." she offered, stretching her neck to press a soft kiss on his lips. As if it was completely natural, something they had done a hundred times… "Good night."
She turned her back on him so he wouldn't be able to see her face anymore – because he was pretty sure she was either grinning like mad or fighting back emotional tears – so he dropped his book on the bedside table and turned off the light and he tried really hard to pretend nothing huge had happened.
And yet if she needed to hear it…
Well… He would have to get over himself and tell her again, wouldn't he?