Chapter 18

Love Between the Lines

Jacob, Embry, and Quil hung out at the cliffs appreciating the uniquely hot, bright, sunny day. They traded silly jabs at each other, taking turns trying to push each other into the water. Jacob felt great. Sitting down, they talked and laughed, enjoying themselves.

Embry stood up. "Well, guys, I better be taking off now."

Feeling panicked, Jacob jumped to his feet and begged Embry to stay longer. "I've already stayed long enough. You guys got things to do today, and so do I."

He encouraged them to continue without him. "Don't worry about me. I'm not going far. I'll be right here when you need me. I plan on stopping by and hanging out with both of you as often as I can. We'll have a hell of a lot more good times just like today. Hey... Maybe I'll meet you guys on the court next time? I'll be back soon," Embry reassured them. He turned to leave but turned back again. His smile shined so brightly, Jacob could feel the loving warmth, comfort, and peace radiating from Embry's entire body, surrounding him and Quil, and communicating to them exactly what he felt.

His happiness was amazing, and he gave off a vibe of perfect peace. "You guys should see all the girls hanging around my place. They're all so good looking... Everyone of them is a complete angel."

"I bet they are." Jacob grinned, a teardrop glistening in the corner of his eye.

"I don't think I can pick just one. You know what? I don't think I will." Embry laughed and faded off into the distance.

Jacob opened his eyes, bubbling with more cheer after waking than he'd done in a long while. He held a strange feeling he wasn't merely dreaming about Embry, but that Embry came by his dream for a visit. He looked forward to more pleasant dreams just like this one.

"You're finally up. It's almost noon," Billy said, staring down into Jacob's blood-shot eyes.

He fell asleep on the living room floor, again. Rolling over, he stretched. His body felt stiff, like he slept in the same position all night long.

"You were mumbling in your sleep, but I didn't want to wake you." Billy furrowed his eyebrows, worried. "I hope you're sleeping okay?"

"I'm sleeping fine, Dad. Don't worry. I'd tell you if I wasn't. Where're you off to anyway?" Jacob asked, changing the subject. He knew Billy meant well, but he didn't like parental hovering.

"I'm going over to help Embry's mom. She's got to go through his things today, and she doesn't want to be alone."

"Dad, I really appreciate the way you're helping her through this, and I know that Embry would really appreciate it."

"She's a nice person, and everyone needs a friend, especially in times like these. Sam's been a real big help to her, too. She said he stops over at least once a day to see if she needs anything, and she really enjoys his visits... You know who else is a nice person?" Billy offhandedly asked. "Raven's mom, Abby, and cute!"

Jacob threw a pillow, and it skimmed across Billy's head. "Chill, Dad, the ink's not even dry," he joked, chuckling.

Billy laughed. "I'm just saying." A car horn blared for Billy. "I'll be meeting with the Council at Old Quil's later. There's still so much we're trying to find out about you kids, and we're working on seeing what reunited the packs. You know, you and Sam really ought to sit in on the sweats," Billy suggested, as he wheeled himself out the door.

"Wait a minute, I'll help you," Jacob jumped to his feet and followed Billy outside.

A few minutes later the phone rang. Raven spoke excitedly about Abby finding a buyer for their house in Forks. "We'll be able to move to La push soon, because the people buying the house are in a big hurry to get the sale completed," she squealed. "So, come over. I want to go do something fun today."

"Me too," he said, sharing her enthusiasm. "I'll be right over."

Abby worked more often, so Raven was usually by herself at home, and that drove Jacob insane with worry. River was still in Fort Bragg finishing things up. He had one more week left. He sent for Leah almost immediately after he went back, and she'd been there ever since.

Jacob spent nearly every day with Raven for the last few weeks. Except for the one time when she seemed mad at him for something and wouldn't let him in on it. Afraid she was tiring of him, he forced himself to stay away from her for a couple days. It was tough, nearly unbearable. When he finally went to see her, she bit his head off for not coming around or calling and made him promise he would never do that again. He promised, basking in the awareness that she wanted him around just as much as he wanted to be around, because he missed her like crazy when they weren't together.

He believed getting through the last few weeks would have been impossible without her. A brightness surrounded her that made him feel phenomenal. She became almost like a lifeline for him. She felt like home. Being fairly athletic, they did a lot of fun things together most girly girls wouldn't do, and soon, she'd be living in La Push only minutes away. He loved the idea of it.

At one time, he'd thought he would slowly distance himself from her, but with everything that happened with Embry, breaking it off didn't seem as important as it did before. The issue still invaded his mind, during happy times it seemed, and he remained unsure of what to do about it. He decided he'd know when it was time to deal with the situation.

He stopped telling her he loved her. Not because he didn't feel it or want to say it, but because when he did, it seemed like it bothered her. She always gave him her sad smile. He just figured she didn't want to say it back, and she never did. That didn't matter to him. He knew precisely how she felt about him by how she looked at him, and how her body responded to his whenever he touched or kissed her.

"How's Jacob doing?" Abby asked, as she readied for work.

"He's seems all right. I can tell he misses Embry, though. Sometimes he gets so quiet, Mom, I don't know what to do or say to help him," Raven explained with glumness.

"It's so rare for someone to get killed by a bear, even for these parts," Abby remarked. "Death is difficult on everyone, but it's part of life. I'm sure you're helping him just fine."

"I hope so. I hate to see him sad." Raven glanced at the clock on the wall. "I better get ready. He's on his way over."

Things were normally wonderful between them. Raven loved being with him; but, occasionally, he became noticeably distant. They could be sitting side by side, within each other's arms, and it would feel like she was sitting alone.

Raven held her breath during those times, wondering if he was thinking about Embry, thinking about her, or thinking about Renee. Those times hurt, because she feared the first thing out of his mouth would be something like, "I can't see you anymore because there's someone else, and it's time for me to be with her."

On one occasion, he was overtly aloof with her, and it wounded her deeply. After all, it wasn't her fault. That day, it almost seemed too painful to continue seeing him. She wondered if she should tell him what she knew and stop hanging out with him. Then he stopped coming over, didn't call, and didn't answer the phone when she called him. She thought she would die from the emptiness his absence brought. She realized she truly couldn't be without him; it was far too painful, and there was nothing more important to her than being with him. They'd been inseparable ever since, and although they hadn't taken their relationship to the next level, their times together were becoming more intimate.

Still, Renee and the situation sparked her curiosity. Questions like: why isn't it time for them to be together? And, when will that time come? sometimes crept through her mind unexpectedly. Several times she was tempted to call and ask Leah, but she always chickened out.

She heard a hasty banging at the door. Looking out the window, she spotted Kristy. "Did I leave my jacket here? I can't find it anywhere," Kristy asked.

"Um hmm. It's downstairs in my room. Come on in."

"I'm going to the park with Quil today, and it feels like it might get cold out later."

Raven raised her eyebrow. "You and Quil been hanging out a lot lately."

"It's not like that. We're just friends. He's taking Claire to the park and asked me to come along and keep them company. That little Claire is just so darn cute."

"Are you sure, it's not like that?"

"I'm sure. He reminds me of Embry. And I think he needs a grown-up friend to talk to, you know? Because he always has to babysit." She shrugged as if she pushed her questions about that aside. "I've got to run. I'll talk to you later."

She and Embry planned to go on their first official date, but they never got the chance. Raven didn't find out how Kristy felt about him until the funeral when she broke down crying on Quil's shoulder. They'd been friends ever since.

Jacob snuck up and embraced her from behind, kissing her on the neck, causing her a chill.

She smiled, turning toward him. "Why are you dressed like that, or should I say, why aren't you dressed... like that?" she asked. "I thought you wanted to go do something?"

"I do. I want to go running today." He grinned with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

"Okay." She narrowed her eyes, suspicious. "I'll go change."

"You don't have to change. I said I want to go running, and I want you to ride with me. You're from Texas. When's the last time you went riding?"

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"Yup." He chuckled. "C'mon, it'll be fun! Besides, you've never been very far off the walking paths and there's a lot more to see out there. Just let me show you."

"I don't know, Jacob." Raven shook her head. "That seems a little too weird for me."

"C'mon on, Raven! This is the first time I wanted to run in the woods in a long time, and I want you to be there with me." He flashed his adorable smile.

She pursed her lips, uneasy, shifting at the thought, but reluctantly gave in. After putting on a sweatshirt, she filled a backpack with bottles of water, soda pop, and sunflower seeds. They strolled across the street and into the woods. "So how do we do this?" she asked.

"I'll tie this piece of leather around my neck for you to hold, if you need to. Otherwise, you can just hold on to me. You can't hurt me. You are way too little," he teased.

She waited with nervousness while Jacob changed. When he came back out of the brush, her jaw dropped open. She forgot how beautiful he was. His thick russet fur shined elegantly. He held a cheerful gleam in his deep brown eyes, as he curiously watched her reaction to him. Gracefully sauntering toward her, he knelt down, panting faintly. She sighed; even in wolf form he took her breath away. Quietly chuckling to herself, she climbed up and gripped a hold of him, snugly winding her legs around his torso as she thought about how odd of a situation, she was in. He slowly stood up on all fours, lifting her effortlessly and letting out a low rumbling growl that sent a wave of butterflies through her tummy. She surrendered herself, grateful and honored to be part of his fantastic world.

The forest lived with various spring colors and scents, and lush green moss covered the different branches and trees like a furry green blanket. Wildflowers bloomed lavender, yellow, and pink while leafy bushes filled with bright red berries mixed in fittingly. Every sound the forest held was like music, playing the most exquisite concerto.

Jacob carried her through several beautiful meadows and high into the mountains. She could see the splendor of the cliffs against the ocean background. They reached what she thought was the most beautiful scenic growing meadow of them all but didn't stay. Jacob continued further and finally stopped at an even more gorgeous surrounding, a concealed flowered clearing, overlooking a smooth icy green river, brewing water-fall froth in a small cascade. He knelt down slow, for her to climb off so he could change.

When he came back, she could barely catch her breath. "I never thought it was possible to see this much beauty in such a short time." Raven gasped.

"I knew you would like it up here," Jacob boasted, sitting down on a bed of little white bunch berry flowers. "I hid up here for a while when I first ran away from home."

"You ran away from home?" She sat down beside him. "Wait, I'm sorry... You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

Jacob wrinkled his forehead, briefly looking away. "It's fine. I don't mind talking about it if you don't mind listening?"

"I don't mind listening."

"Okay, the reason I ran away from home was because of a girl," he said.

Raven held her posture straight, startled by his candor and finding she minded.

He narrowed his eyes in observation. Her face warmed, but she did her best to conceal her discomfort. Then taking hold of her hand, he smiled, always knowing exactly when to comfort her. "I'll give you the short version. It was Charlie's daughter, Bella. She was my best friend. I thought I was in love with her. But, she was in love with someone else, the guy she ended up marrying. It hurt so much at the time, and I didn't know how to make it stop. So, I came up here and hid out for a while. It turned out it wasn't far enough away, and eventually I really left town."

The thought of Jacob hurting, made Raven feel awful. A girl would have to be nuts not to recognize how amazing he was. She frowned. "If it's too much for you to talk about, you don't have to continue."

"It's not. Honestly, it doesn't affect me one bit anymore. Besides, it wasn't the right love. It was painful and unhappy. Not at all good. Back then, I didn't know anything different, so I continued to put myself in situations that only made things worse. Bella knew we weren't meant to be more than friends. And then one day, I saw it, too, and things have been great ever since."

Raven considered Jacob's story and realized he must have loved Bella exponentially to feel the need to run away. "I'm really sorry you went through that, and I truly feel bad for you. Are you sure you're okay now?"

"Actually, I know for certain I am. In fact, I'm unbelievably happy these days," he reassured her, peering into her eyes and kissing her hand.

A warm coziness enveloped Raven. She felt such a strong connection with him, very much at ease, and overwhelmingly in love. Softly clearing her throat, she said, "At least you got this place out of it. It's amazing up here."

"The beauty is all around the woods. You just need to know where to look."

She traced his features with her eyes, admiring every detail and landing on the cute little dent on his chin. "I didn't have to look very far," she told him, bringing her mouth to his.

He leaned them backward, tugging her on top of him. Repositioning herself into a straddle, she scattered several tiny kisses on his neck and chest until goose bumps appeared, along with a faint rolling growl that made her smile. She gave her heart to him almost the first day they met. She couldn't imagine someone not loving him back when she was convinced she'd never love another the way she loved him. But as much as she wanted to tell him, pronouncing her love was pointless. Her feelings had no relevance to the future; neither did his.

She swallowed the words she longed to say as she made her way back to his lips. I love you, Jacob Black.