Chapter 49: End of Term
The next couple of weeks were very strained. I couldn't use my time turner except for classes, or else Professor McGonagall would take it away, but I also had too much homework to do in the time I did have. Whenever Friday came around, Professor McGonagall checked the time turner to see how much I was using it.
It occurred to me that if I could learn the spell she was using on me, I could stop sleeping altogether and use that time to do homework. Unfortunately, I had no idea what the spell was, because Professor McGonagall always cast the spell non-verbally. When I thought about it, she probably did it that way so that I wouldn't be able to use it myself.
I knew I was going to have to do some research in the library, but I didn't know when I would have the time. I already barely had enough time to get my homework and studying done.
When the signup sheets began to circulate for the Christmas holidays, I came up with the perfect solution. I didn't really want to go home to my parents, because that would only be a discouraging and lonely experience. Harry was staying at the castle like he does every year, and Ron had decided to stay too, claiming that he didn't want to spend two weeks listening to Percy brag about how wonderful it was being Head Boy.
I decided that I would stay at the castle with my friends. I could both keep Harry company with Ron, and have plenty of time to spend researching in the library. So, I signed up to stay at the castle.
As the end of term approached, my workload began to lighten. It seemed that none of my teachers wanted to correct assignments during the break. Finally, the Wednesday before the beginning of the break, I decided to actually sleep the full night. I went up to the dormitory early, and by the time I pulled the curtains around my bed, the rest of my dorm mates had still not come in.
Even though I hadn't slept properly in weeks, I found that for some reason I couldn't fall asleep. A couple hours later, when the rest of the girls came up from the common room, I was still lying in bed, trying to fall asleep.
"Where do you think Hermione is tonight?" Lavender's voice came through the door.
"I don't know. I never see her anymore," Parvati replied.
I tensed. They didn't realize I was here, because they couldn't see me. I wasn't sure if I should interrupt and announce my presence, or keep quiet.
"I mean does she ever sleep?" I heard Lily ask.
"Who knows? I mean, she's always been weird," Parvati replied.
"I don't know why Harry and Ron hang out with her. I mean, she's so boring," Lavender said.
"Maybe they've finally ditched her and that's why we never see her anymore," Lily suggested.
"Yeah, she's probably holed up in the library somewhere," Sally-Anne added.
"I just hope that next time, Ron chooses someone better," Lavender said.
"What do you mean?" Parvati asked. "It's not like he was going out with Hermione." At this, the other girls all laughed.
"Maybe not, but if he was, I just think he could do better," Lavender replied.
"You mean you?" Lily asked.
"Maybe," Lavender said in a sing-song voice.
As the girl's conversation drifted to the topic of boys, I continued to lie motionless in bed. Strangely, I felt an odd, unpleasant feeling in my stomach when Lavender admitted to liking Ron, but I couldn't figure out what it was.
On the final Friday of term, I went to Professor McGonagall's office as usual for my weekly check-in. She took my time turner, performed the tempus revelio spell on it, and then put it in her desk.
"I will return this to you at the start of term after the holidays," Professor McGonagall informed me, making me feel very small.
I didn't argue. I knew that I'd messed up, and that this was all just the consequences that came with my actions. I'd lied to Professor McGonagall and now she couldn't trust me. I felt like I was six years old and lying about getting into the cookie jar whilst sporting a face full of crumbs and chocolate smears.
"I noticed you've elected to remain at Hogwarts over the holidays," Professor McGonagall commented. "That's the second year in a row."
"Yeah," I shrugged. "Well I don't want to leave Harry here all alone. You know how his family is."
While Harry wasn't the only reason I'd decided to stay over the holidays, he was definitely a factor. I elected not to mention the research I wanted to do in the library. Professor McGonagall already didn't trust me and though I felt immensely guilty for going behind her back again, I didn't really have much of a choice in the matter.
"How are things with you at home?" Professor McGonagall asked me then, throwing me off. After spending weeks and months talking about my classes and my time turner, I was surprised at the question.
"Things are fine," I replied in a non-committal voice.
"Are you sure?" Professor McGonagall asked. "Because I know you had some difficulties over the summer, and – "
"We sorted that out," I assured her, cutting her off.
Professor McGonagall looked at me with a curious expression.
"Hermione, I'm not muggle-born. Both my parents were magical, but I know that it can sometimes be difficult for children of muggle-born parents as well as their muggle parents to adapt to the situation. If things are strained, then perhaps you'd like someone to talk to? I don't imagine you're aware of this, but both Professors Sinistra and Vector are muggle-born as well and might be able to help you."
I appreciated the offer, but I was fine. I didn't need to talk to anybody. Things with my parents weren't strained because I was a witch. It had started out that way, but I'd made things worse over the summer by threatening them. It wasn't as simple as it used to be, and it had been a choice I'd made that I couldn't take back. I certainly didn't feel like talking to my astronomy or arithmancy teachers about it.
That evening, I sat in the common room and penned out a letter to my parents. I'd been putting it off for a while, but knew it was something I had to do. I'd been hoping that a letter might come from them, to check whether I was coming home for Christmas, but it was at the point now that I couldn't keep waiting on them to take the initiative.
Dear Mum and Dad,
I'm sure you've realized from my lack of correspondence as to when to pick me up from the train station that I will not be returning home for the Christmas holidays this year. There's simply too much work to be done, and it's best if I do it at school where I have full-time access to their library.
I won't be home at Easter either, it comes much too close to exam time for me to afford to leave. I will let you know at the end of the year when the Hogwarts Express will be bringing me home for the summer.
Your daughter,
Hermione
"What's that?" Ron asked, slipping into a chair beside me. I hastily covered the letter, not wanting him to see. I hadn't told Ron or Harry the details of my troubles with my parents. They would pale in comparison to the problems Harry had with his relatives. My parents had never put bars on my windows, after all. And it seemed selfish to complain about my own parents when Harry's relatives were so horrible and his parents were dead.
"Nothing," I muttered. "Just a letter I've got to mail."
"I can walk with you to the owlery," Ron offered. "Harry's at his last quidditch practice of the term."
"What's the point of having a practice when they're about to split up for two weeks?" I wondered. After the game against Hufflepuff, wouldn't it have made sense to call practices to an end until January?
Ron rolled his eyes. "If they go too long without practicing, the players will get out of sync," he explained.
I nodded, as if I understood. "Well I can mail this later," I said. It would reach my parents quickly once I sent it, and there was no reason to rush. "How about a game of wizard's chess?"
"Really?" Ron asked in surprise. "You have time for that? What about homework?"
"It's the end of term," was my reply. "I have some time to spare."
Grinning, Ron immediately began to set up the board. We hadn't played in a long time and I knew I was going to be rusty.
"No bets this time," I stated firmly. "I'm going to lose, so it wouldn't really be fair."
"You'd lose anyway, regardless of how long it's been," Ron pointed out. In mock fury, I punched Ron in the shoulder. Not hard, but with enough force that it made an impact. Ron laughed.
"I'll win one of these days," I assured him. "And when I do – "
"I have to kiss you," Ron finished for me. "I remember."
I felt my face heat up as I blushed. "What?" I asked, feeling confused and full of a strange jumble of other emotions.
"That was our wager," Ron reminded me. "The first time you ever played. If you won, I had to kiss you, and if I won, you had to do my potions homework for a month."
"Oh yeah," I recalled. I'd set those stakes because I'd wanted to make Parvati and Lavender jealous. It occurred to me that after the conversation I'd overheard between the girls the other night, a kiss from Ron would make them even more jealous now than it would have then. Or Lavender at the very least.
"Well you're not going to win," Ron said, making the whole thing a moot point. "I'm way too good."
"We'll just see about that," I challenged. We both knew he was right, at least in regards to tonight's game, but it was nice to pretend like I might win. And I remained determined to beat him one day.
The rest of the night passed quickly and it was easily one of the best nights I'd had at Hogwarts of late. Harry returned from quidditch practice and joined in our chess tournament. Though I couldn't beat Ron, I did beat Harry, which brought me a great deal of satisfaction. While Harry played Ron, I made a quick trip to the owlery, and then returned to get creamed by Ron yet again. By the time I made my way up to bed, I was thinking how much I missed just having fun with my friends.