Chapter 50: A Bad Day in Hogsmeade
The next morning, a field trip to Hogsmeade was scheduled to celebrate the end of term. Filled with excitement, I met up with Harry and Ron that morning and together we had a quick breakfast in the Great Hall.
When it came time to leave for the village, Ron and I said goodbye to Harry and departed with the other students. I did feel badly about having to leave Harry behind, but he was going to do research on brooms to replace his Nimbus, so I was sure he would enjoy the day well enough. After all, researching is one of the most interesting activities I could think of, and Harry loved brooms.
Deep down, I was secretly glad Harry wasn't coming with us. Harry and Ron were so close, and I always felt a little bit left out when all three of us were together. It would be nice to have another day just two of us.
The view on the walk to Hogsmeade was completely different from last time. On our last trip, it hadn't snowed yet, but now it was the middle of winter and the ground was covered in a layer of snow. The day was clear, the sun shining down on us and the glittering snow all around.
"The castle will be quiet this year," I said as we walked. "I didn't notice many people signing up to stay behind."
"I think we're the only ones from Gryffindor staying behind," Ron commented. "Last time I checked, ours were the only named on the sign-up sheet in the common room."
"We'll have the run of the tower," I smiled, thinking how nice it would be to have our pick of any seats in the common room.
When we arrived in the village, Ron directed me straight to Honeydukes, claiming that we had to do our sweet shopping early, before the shop ran out of candy. As he loaded up his arms with enough candy to feed our entire class, I reminded him that we should purchase some for Harry as well.
"We should get something we didn't get last time," I suggested, walking around the store. There was a display over in the corner of the store labelled Unusual Tastes that caught my eye. Perhaps there would be something there that Harry might like.
There was a shelf devoted to insect related candy, like Fudge Flies and Chocolate Caterpillars, Grasshopper Gumdrops, and Cockroach Clusters, but they didn't look all that appetizing and Harry didn't strike me as someone who had a desire to eat bugs.
"Ooh, look at these!" Ron exclaimed, reaching for a bowl of lollipops. "Oh, hang on," he frowned. "No, these are blood-flavored."
I agreed with Ron that Harry probably wouldn't like those either, and as Ron began examining the candy-covered bugs, a familiar voice surprised me and caused me to jump and spin around in surprise.
Harry wasn't supposed to be here. He was supposed to be back up at the castle, doing research in the library. He didn't have permission to be in the village. Seeing him there, I felt confusion, frustration, and a bit of jealousy surge through me as I saw the day I'd planned vanish into thin air.
Harry told us about the map that Fred and George had given him, and I was immediately unimpressed. For one thing, the map had to be illicit. There was no way the professors would let him walk around with it if they knew. And what if it was dangerous? Tom Riddle's diary had turned out to be extremely dangerous last year, and it was highly suspicious that this map had so much knowledge of Hogwarts and the people in it.
And what about Sirius Black? If Harry had been able to sneak out of the castle, surely, he'd be able to sneak in! Harry pointed out that it was extremely unlikely that he even knew about the few secret passages that Filch didn't already know about, and while he made a good point, I still didn't like it.
I realized that it was probably more my resentment at having my day interrupted than true belief that the map was evil. With Harry here in Hogsmeade, Ron would want to show him all the shops and sights. I would be shuffled to the background into my usual position of walking just slightly behind the two boys.
It wasn't that I didn't want Harry to experience Hogsmeade. Despite the rule breaking, I was glad that he was here. It had been disappointing for all of us when we'd learned prior to our first trip that Harry couldn't come. And of course, I wasn't going to turn him in – what kind of friend would I be if I did that? I was just a little sad when Ron pulled Harry towards a display of jelly slugs and acid pops, leaving me to trail behind them, all but forgotten.
It was cold outside, so after Honeydukes, we headed to the Three Broomsticks to warm up with some butterbeers. We chose a table near the back of the pub to keep Harry as out of sight as possible and for a moment I just enjoyed the feeling of the liquid warming me from the inside.
Suddenly, Professor McGonagall, Professor Flitwick, Hagrid and the Minister for Magic all entered the pub. Harry froze and I realized that if he was seen here, not only would he get in trouble, but so would Ron and I. And I couldn't afford to get into any trouble for this with Professor McGonagall after what had just happened with the time turner.
Ron and I pushed Harry down under the table and I pulled out my wand and used it to move the Christmas tree next to our table over a bit to block Harry from view completely. The group came towards us and finally sat down at the table right next to us. Thankfully, the tree was blocking Ron and I as well, so they didn't pay us any attention.
My heart was racing as they all settled in and I hoped they didn't stay too long. I wasn't cut out for this kind of stressful situation. As I sat there, I imagined every possible worst-case scenario of how this could end, all resulting in my time turner being confiscated permanently, and the three of us landing ourselves in detention for the rest of the year. It was a horrible thought. I felt like throwing up.
Then they started to talk about Sirius Black.
When they mentioned that Sirius Black had been best friends with Harry's father, I heard Harry drop his glass underneath the table. Ron kicked him for the noise, but I just sat there, shell-shocked. I worried how Harry was doing, but I couldn't check on him without making his presence known.
When the Minister revealed that Black had been the one to betray Harry's family, that he had been the one to reveal their location to You-Know-Who, Hagrid started yelling, and the look on Ron's face told me he wanted to punch something. All I could think of was Harry, sitting under the table. I wanted to hug him. I needed to offer him comfort. But I couldn't.
Ron's fists were clenched and I could see his knuckles whitening. He was going to hurt himself. I reached out and placed my hand over his fists. I should have been comforting Harry, but since he was still under the table, I settled for comforting Ron.
Finally, eventually, the adults slowly began to rise and disperse. We waited until the were all out of the pub before leaning down and bending to look under the table at Harry.
He was crouched in a seemingly uncomfortable and awkward position, and though the adults were gone, he didn't move. His face was pale white and his eyes were glazed over, staring into nothingness. I nudged him gently, but still he didn't respond.
I felt helpless. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to comfort him, but there were no words. Finally, we got Harry back in his seat and Ron got him another butterbeer. After we had forced him to drink it, we carefully led him out of the pub.
Once we were back out in the cold, Harry seemed to recover a bit, though it was clear he was nowhere close to being fine. He was still near catatonic and I wished Ron and I could accompany him back to the castle, but he had to take the secret passage back and Ron and I had to enter the castle through the front doors to be officially checked back into the building.
"Do you think he's going to be alright?" Ron asked as we left Honeydukes after seeing Harry off.
"I don't know," I said honestly. "Come on, let's hurry. I want to get back before he does."
Harry didn't say a word all through dinner, no matter how much Ron and I tried to get him talking. We couldn't ask him about what we'd overheard, because there were too many people around us, but I wasn't sure that talking about it would have been helpful either. We tried to take his mind off things by making fun of Professor Trelawney and making plans for when everyone went home the next day and we had the tower to ourselves. But Harry was unresponsive. It was as if he couldn't even hear us, or if he could, he gave no indication of it.
I was growing more and more worried. When we returned to the common room, Harry headed straight for his dorm and I looked to Ron imploringly.
"Follow him," I insisted. "See if you can get him to say something."
"What am I supposed to say?" Ron inquired. "If he doesn't want to talk – "
"At least make sure he knows you're there to listen," I implored. I would go up there myself, but I felt like this was a time when Harry needed Ron more than me. I was the one who was good at facts and reason, but I was terrible at emotions. Not that Ron was much better, but at least he was a guy.
Ron nodded and disappeared up the stairs. I waited in the common room for a few minutes, trying to decide if I should stay or just go to bed myself. Ron could be up there with Harry all night, after all.
Just as I was about to go upstairs myself, Ron returned to the common room and met my expectant gaze with a shrug.
"He was asleep," he muttered.
I shook my head. "No he wasn't," I said. There was no way he'd been able to fall asleep that quickly. Not with everything that must be swirling around in his head.
"Well he wants me to think he's asleep," Ron amended. "He doesn't want to talk."
With nothing else to do, Ron set up his chessboard and we played a couple games of wizard's chess. My heart wasn't really in it though, and I could tell Ron's wasn't either. I played more poorly than usual, and it took Ron very little time to beat me, doing it without any of his usual pride and smugness.