Bella's POV
To have to hide is one of the most frightening experiences you can go through because once you're caught you have to suffer the consequences.
To have to lie is one of the most heartbreaking things you can ever do since the lie is what can keep your beloved alive.
She doesn't know how I feel. How can she when here I am playing 'happy couples' with her so called 'brother.' Urgh! How he infuriates me! How can Carlisle do that to her! All these lies about who she is and where she's from! How do I tell her that she was meant for me when I KNOW that she hates me? Hates me because she thinks I'm a danger to her 'family' and that they are a danger to me.
She thinks she's a monster! How can she even think that?! Edward believes that it's true as well, that they are soulless creatures of the night. Created to hunt and kill for their own satisfaction. The only soulless creatures I know are Carlisle and the Volturi.
Rosalie. How can she think she's a monster, when I have seen her soul and the purity that it is. How can she think that I would fall for bronze when gold is far worthier? And what is bronze but merely a distant shadow of gold. How I hate to lie to her! But what can I do, until the time is right I have to lie, hide who I am and pretend with that possessive arrogant twit that I am his so that I can get information to release Rose from the unknown chains that they have bound her with.
That bastard Aro. He stole the throne of the vampire world away from the rightful owner. The owner who is the real father of my Rose.
The whole thing is a complete mess, one moment I was an ignorant human and now I'm a human with the knowledge of all things vampire. But at least I found her through all of this even though she doesn't know who I am yet and who she is for that matter. But even if she knows the truth about me would she be with me? Can I jeopardise the happiness she has with Emmett?
RAGE. That's what I feel whenever I think about it. Her father explained everything to me. The real vampire ruler by right. King Royce. There's so much uncertainty that I don't know what's going to happen. At least this keeps Alice's visions at bay since no decisions have been made. Keeping under the radar is what will keep my Love alive.
Before I became aware of the vampires, she was a regular visitor in my unconscious mind. Dreams of her would be a blessing in the nights. A beam of light surrounding the darkest depths of my unconscious realm. The first time I dreamt of her I had just turned 17 and still living in Phoenix with Renee. There was a storm that night and I was cowering under my duvet trying to block out the sound of the cruel thunder and the flashes of lightening. Slowly I was overcome with sleep but I was still restless. Tossing and turning and dreaming of nightmares until the nightmares ceased into the most glorious vision I had ever seen.
I was in some kind of forest, brown and green hazed past me as I ran trying to get out of there and just as my luck would have it, there was a storm pelting me through the canopy of leaves above. There was no destination and no sense of escape. I ran and ran until my personality thought it would be wise to make an appearance now, so I tripped on an exposed root. I had closed my eyes waiting for the ground to make violent contact with my face but it never happened. Instead I felt arms wrap around my waist and a body pulling me upright. I opened my eyes and was stunned.
Right there was what only could be described as the existence of why the word Goddess was ever created. An oval face with a slightly square chin, full light pink lips pulled back into a loving smirk with the hint of a dimple on her right cheek, a perfectly angular nose which looked sculpted by the great Michelangelo himself, though none of his other creations could hold a candle to her. Hair the colour of the most glorious bright gold you could ever find, like the finest wheat grown in the gardens of heaven since no mortal wheat could compare to it. Eyes the colour of liquid gold which were begging to be the muse of a thousand poets and I believe that they may have been at some point or other. I just wanted to be lost in those eyes, to drown in them and then never resurface. But then I heard her voice.
"Bella, why are you so clumsy?" she mused while an adoring smile adorned those luscious lips.
That voice, low but with a tinkling undertone and a slight husk. A voice which would bring the mightiest of warriors to his knees just so that he could hear it once more and die a happy death.
I couldn't answer her since I was still drowning in her eyes but then I felt a tug in my mind and my vision was fading. I screamed for her to stay and tell me who she was but my conscious mind had other ideas. Damn you consciousness!
That day I awoke feeling as though I had just found the most precious thing on Earth only then to find out that she was lost herself but didn't know it.
Now I ache for her to show me at least some form of kindness instead of the hostility which seems to sweep off of her in waves whenever I'm near. Ahh the difference of her in my dreams and what she is in my waking world is so huge at times I think my dreaming mind is insane. But then I remember the stories of what happened to her and I begin to understand that this is what they made her, not what she really is. So I wait and I hope.
Rosalie Hale. Beautiful, serene, magnificent, inspiring, lush, kind, hurtful, pained, cold and lost Rosalie Hale.
Guess life made her a bitch but I was gonna change that real soon.