Chapter 53: Alone for Christmas: Part 2

"Shall we go to my office?" Professor McGonagall asked, looking concerned, probably assuming it had to do with the time turner.

"No, the Entrance Hall would be fine," I replied. Professor McGonagall nodded and led me out.

"Is it your schedule?" she asked immediately after the door closed behind us. "Do you need to drop a few classes before the next term starts again?"

"No, no, nothing like that," I said in a rush. "I actually wanted to talk to you because I'm worried about Harry."

I saw something flicker across Professor McGonagall's face for a moment at Harry's name, but it only lasted a second and I couldn't be sure what it was. "And what is it that has you worried, Ms. Granger?" she asked.

"He was given a Firebolt for Christmas – " I began.

"A Firebolt!" Professor McGonagall exclaimed with a rare smile. "On the Gryffindor team! Severus won't get to keep the Quidditch trophy in his office much longer."

"Professor," I said impatiently. Was winning at Quidditch really the only thing anyone could think about these days?

"I apologize, please, carry on," Professor McGonagall replied.

"Well, it's just that the Firebolt was sent anonymously, and it's so expensive, it got me wondering as to who could have sent it," I said. Professor McGonagall remained focused on my words, so I continued. "And I thought that most likely, if someone was properly gifting Harry a Firebolt, they would have left their name, and there's got to be a reason why they didn't." I paused and then decided to throw it all out there. "Professor, I think Sirius Black sent the broom and I think he's cursed it."

I waited for Professor McGonagall to say something. She stood still, thinking everything over. "Well Ms. Granger, though I have no idea how Sirius Black would have gotten his hands on enough money to purchase a Firebolt, nor do I have any idea how he could have managed to purchase one without being identified, I agree that this is very disturbing. Black is clearly much more notorious than anyone could have predicted. After all, he escaped from Azkaban when no other had ever done so. I think the best thing to do would be to have this broom examined intensively before anyone tries to fly it."

I was relieved to say the least. I had been worrying about Harry all day. I knew Harry would probably be upset with me for doing this, but I would rather have my friend a little angry than to have him gravely injured or dead, especially if I knew I could have prevented it.

I led Professor McGonagall up to Gryffindor tower and entered the portrait hole just in front of her. Harry and Ron were sitting on the couch, staring at the Firebolt, which was hovering in midair in front of them. When we entered, Harry and Ron turned their attention to Professor McGonagall and I slipped into the nearest seat and grabbed a book, hiding my face behind it because I didn't want to see Harry's face when the Firebolt was taken away.

Neither Harry nor Ron was happy when Professor McGonagall seized the broom and told them it would need to be stripped down. As usual, Ron was the most vocal with his anger. He yelled and then stormed upstairs and slammed the door behind him. It was the sort of rage that he would eventually cool off from, and in a couple of days without anything new happening, we would be fine again.

It was Harry that was the bigger problem. I looked to him pleadingly, willing him to understand as he stared at the portrait hole where Professor McGonagall had disappeared with his broom. When he finally moved, he turned to face me and for a moment, he was silent. Then he spoke, and I almost wished to have the silence back.

"Really Hermione?" he asked, his voice low and sounding almost like a whisper in contrast to Ron's explosion. "You just had to go and ruin Christmas," he said, shoving past me and walking off to join Ron, probably so that the two of them could rant about how much they hated me.

Left alone in the common room, I felt tears prickling at the corners of my eyes again. If I had had any strength left, I would have fought them, but I was spent. They began to fall freely onto my cheeks, and I slumped into an armchair by the fire as I allowed my emotions to spill out onto the carpet.

When my eyes had run dry and I felt well enough to ascend the stairs, I made my way back up to my dorm. While I prepared for bed, I didn't think, I simply went through the motions like a machine. When I was finally about to get into bed, I noticed something out of place. Sitting on my bedside table was the gift I had meant to give to Harry when Ron wasn't around.

Upon seeing it, for some unfathomable reason, I laughed out loud. It was only fitting, it seemed, that I would neither give nor receive any gifts this year. Maybe I wasn't meant to have friends. Maybe I was meant to go through life alone forever. After all, so far all my friends had done was to constantly bring me down.

Without friends, I would have more time to do my own work; I wouldn't have to look over their work anymore. Without friends I wouldn't have to waste time in the Great Hall making conversation; I could stay long enough to eat and then go to the library to get more work done. I could sit in the front of the classroom instead of at the back, where Harry liked to sit because people couldn't stare at him from there. I could skip the quidditch games because I wouldn't be required to provide support for anyone.

Without friends, I would have no one to talk to, I thought bitterly. Without friends, I would never be able to sit back and relax after a particularly long day. There would be no one to laugh with, no one to confide in, and no one to write to during the dreary summer months. There would be no more words of encouragement, no more smiles, no more friendly games of chess.

I felt another wave of sadness come over me, but I was sure I had cried every tear my body contained. I swallowed to stifle a sob and stuffed Harry's gift into the bottom of my trunk with the others. Then I climbed into my bed and pulled the covers up over my head to shut out the world.

The next morning, I awoke with cheeks stiff from dried tears I hadn't had the energy to wipe away. My eyes felt puffy, and later when I went into the bathroom to wash my face I would discover that they were very red.

I walked over to the nearest window to look out at the grounds, and I was dismayed to find that it was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and fresh snow glistened on the ground. Last night it had felt that the entire universe was going to implode, but evidently nature didn't care about the plight of a lowly third year Hogwarts student.

When I felt presentable, I descended from my dormitory with a foolish hope that Harry and Ron would be awaiting me in the common room as they usually were. Even though I should have been expecting it, the sight of the empty common room sent a pang through my chest. For some unfathomable reason, I decided to check the boys' dormitory before going to breakfast. Harry and Ron could just be sleeping in after all.

I tiptoed up the stairs on the off chance that they actually were up in the dormitory, and then poked at the door so that it swung open a tiny bit. I peeked in to find the room empty and decided that I would torture myself just a little more. I entered the room and approached Harry and Ron's beds.

I noticed movement on Ron's side table and looked closer to find Scabbers rummaging around in a package of some sort. Upon even closer inspection, I found that it was a bag of my favorite sugarless candy from Honeydukes. I wondered what it was doing on Ron's side table since he hated the candy. Then I noticed four bits of parchment lying on the floor a short distance from Ron's bed. I tentatively picked them up and discovered that they were ripped up pieces of a short letter Ron had written.

I held them together to read the letter and felt a lump form in my throat as I did.

Hermione,

Happy Christmas! Enjoy the candy.

Ron

I carefully returned everything to where it belonged and backed out of the room, heading down to the common room once again. When I had recovered, I decided to just go down to breakfast and face the boys. Facing them was better than hiding up here in the tower, after all.

The trip downstairs had never felt so short, and before I knew it, I was in the Entrance Hall. I took a deep breath and entered the Great Hall. The house tables had been returned to their usual positions, so the Hall seemed ridiculously empty. As we had been the only three Gryffindors who stayed behind for the holidays, the Gryffindor table was empty save for Harry and Ron, who were sitting about halfway down the table.

Though my legs shook a bit for the first few steps, I made it to where they were sitting, and I took a seat.

"Good morn – "I started to say as I poured myself a glass of pumpkin juice. However, I stopped mid-sentence when both Harry and Ron stood simultaneously and exited the Hall without so much as glancing at me.

I stared after them until I realized I was still pouring the pumpkin juice and there was now a puddle of the liquid on the table and it was dripping into my lap. I did a quick spell to clean it up and then buried my head in my hands. I had fought with Harry and Ron before, but this time was different. This time, I really couldn't see either of them forgiving me.