Lee had been greeted by many things on many occasions in Amanda's house: white slavers, baseball bats, snakes, even Dotty wielding an argyle sock with rapier wit, so really, nothing should have come as a surprise anymore. And yet, here he was, ducking and diving in the dim light of her kitchen, scrambling desperately to find the light switch, and then something suddenly swung into his peripheral vision again and he flattened himself against the fridge.
It was an unexpected end to an already much-too-long day. He'd been over at the Pentagon all day, helping on a military intelligence case tracking the connection between some thefts on bases and an arms smuggler he'd had run-ins with back in the late 70's, the monotony of which had only been broken by finding that the Air Force agent assigned to the same case had been a high school friend from one of the bases he'd spent time on. Sure he could have done without Duncan calling him Skippy all day but it had been fun to catch up and spend the downtime recalling some of their better antics. Between Duncan and the fact they were waiting for information from time zones all over the world, it had been mid-afternoon before he'd called Amanda to check in, but his call was transferred over to Mrs. Marston on the first ring.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Stetson. Mrs. King left half an hour ago and I was under the impression she was leaving for the day."
That seemed odd – Amanda was nothing if not reliable, so why on earth would she have left early?
"Did she mention if it was work-related or personal?" he asked, trying to sound at least vaguely professional and impersonal.
"Well, she mentioned having to collect her mother," admitted Mrs. Marston. "And I assume Mrs. King doesn't usually involve her mother in her work?"
Lee allowed himself a chuckle at the dry wit of the receptionist. "It's been known to happen but no, not if she can help it. Thank you, Mrs. Marston." He'd phoned the house but gotten no answer, so it did seem likely that wherever they were, Amanda and her mother were together. He left a message saying he'd be missing dinner since he would be working late, and thought no more about it.
When they had finally called it a night well past ten o'clock, he'd headed home - until it had occurred to him as he pulled away from the Pentagon that Maplewood Drive was between here and the apartment… and he hadn't seen his wife for over 24 hours. A quick glance at his watch told him that it was far enough past both Dotty's and the boys' bedtime that he could probably sneak in and spend some quality husband and wife time with Amanda – and it would be worth it even if he had to get up before anyone else and pretend he'd slept on the couch. Heck, he'd even save time in the morning, commuting back to the Pentagon. It was the perfect plan – or so he'd thought.
Arriving at the house, he'd crept up the driveway, surprised to find it all in darkness. Doubling back, he'd checked Amanda's window, reassured to see that her bedroom light at least was on. Quietly opening the back door with the key she'd given him, he slipped off his shoes and picked them up in one hand as he tiptoed toward the small set of steps out of the family room. He had one foot on the steps when something hit him square in the back, almost sending him flying, but years of training let him regain his balance and pivot sideways. He heard the clang of something hit the doorframe as he ducked out of the way and it was then, seeing her outlined against the dim light from the window that he realized his attacker was a short female, brandishing what appeared to be a frying pan. This was followed by the realization that she was coming at him again, and he dove out of her path, stocking feet slipping on the floor.
"Dotty! It's me! It's just me!" he yelped. Dotty and the boys might have been teasing him about always knocking before coming in, but jeez, the first time he actually does it, coming in late at night, suddenly he was met with this.
"Me who?" shrieked a voice that definitely wasn't Dotty's and for one horrible moment, he wondered if he'd somehow accidentally wandered into the wrong house. He sensed an incoming swing and dropped to the floor, starting to scoot backwards on his butt around the island.
Finally to his relief, he heard a voice he did know. "What on earth is going on down here?" Amanda yelled over the fray and suddenly, thankfully all the lights came on. There was complete silence as she took in the scene – Lee still scrambling away from his attacker and a tiny blonde woman wielding the frying pan and looking almost exactly like Granny from the Tweety-Bird cartoons. Dotty appeared beside Amanda and covered her mouth as she began to laugh.
"Oh, it's you," said Aunt Lillian, letting the frying pan drop to her side. "You should have said something."
"I did say something!" Lee expostulated as he started to pull himself back to his feet.
"Well, you still shouldn't have been creeping around looking like you were casing the house and then sneaking in here without knocking then!"
"I wasn't sneaking! I was…" Lee stopped dead, suddenly aware that that was exactly what he's been doing.
"Good decision, Sweetheart," murmured Amanda, obviously trying not to laugh. "You wouldn't want to be sneaking and lying."
Lee looked up at her as she leaned on the doorframe at the top of the steps, and met her grin. He began to brush himself off as he turned to Dotty's sister. "Well I'm sorry I scared you, Lillian, but what are you doing here?"
"I was invited for Christmas," replied Lillian. She gave him a knowing head-to-toe look. "I don't have to ask what you're doing here."
Lee laughed even as he blushed at her blunt assessment. "No, I meant, what are you doing here already? I thought you weren't coming for a few more days."
"Amtrak had a special deal for seniors if they were travelling before the Christmas rush – half off the usual ticket. So I called and Amanda said it would be fine, so I came down today instead," explained Lillian. "And I was just getting ready to settle down on the pull-out sofa in the living room when I saw you sneaking past the window."
"Didn't you get any of my messages?" asked Amanda, still trying to contain her mirth. "I left one at work and on your machine at the apartment that I'd left early to go the station to pick her up."
"I haven't been home," he admitted. "I realized this was closer than my apartment and since I have to be back at the Pentagon first thing, I thought I'd, uh, see if I could come crash on the sofa and save time in the morning."
Lillian and Dotty gave off identical disbelieving snorts. "The sofa?" repeated Lillian. "If you were expecting to sleep on the sofa, I don't know how Amanda's keeping a hunk like you on her hook."
"Aunt Lillian!" Amanda yelped.
"Oh I'm pretty firmly hooked," laughed Lee, with an amused look at Amanda who had dropped her face in her hands and was shaking it from side to side.
"I'm sorry, Lee Darling," said Dotty with an amused look at her sister. "Lillian has always been the most tactless of my siblings."
"It isn't tactless – I'm just saying, a handsome young man like this…"
"Where are the boys?" asked Lee, interrupting this line of conversation before it could go any further.
"Oh, they'll sleep through anything," said Dotty. "Don't worry about them – it's us old ladies who don't sleep well who wake up for every little sound. Or not so little sound." She gave Lillian a meaningful look that neither Lee nor Amanda could misinterpret.
"Mother!"
"Now what did I tell you about calling yourself old, Dotty?" replied Lee, trying to distract the two sisters who were both cackling now.
Dotty snorted and waved a hand as if to brush aside the compliment. "Well, we're old enough to know why you're here, so why don't you two just scurry off upstairs, while Lillian and I have a little nightcap and watch an old movie and then you can tell yourself you had to sleep upstairs because the sofa was taken."
"But the boys…"
"You'll be up and gone before the boys even wake up – their school break started already, remember? Now scoot."
Lee chanced a look at Amanda who met it with a mixture of resignation and mortification. "Come on," she rolled her eyes. "If you stay down here, they're only going to get worse." Lee slunk hurriedly across the room, picking up his dropped shoes as he went and headed for the stairs. She waited until he was standing beside her on the landing to murmur, "I guess senior agent really does always get the bed."
He stifled a laugh and started to follow her upstairs. As they went, both still blushing, they could still clearly her the two women behind them.
"On the sofa? My God, it's a good thing I got her that nightgown from Rebecca's Fantasies you recommended as a Christmas present."
"Oh good! Did you get her the matching silk robe too?"
"Of course I did! You know a man likes to do a little unwrapping on his way in!"
"Oh my gosh," groaned Amanda, impossibly even more scarlet.
"I really like the West women," chortled Lee. "They are clearly women of good sense and good taste."
"You'll be singing a different tune when Aunt Lillian's got you in her sights over the breakfast table," Amanda reminded him.
"As long as it doesn't involve a frying pan, I'll be fine," he promised. He stopped in the doorway and glanced down the far end of the hall where the boys' bedroom door was slightly ajar. "Is this okay? I mean, what if Phillip or Jamie wake up and find me here? I didn't mean for this to be so - "
"Public?" teased Amanda. "Sweetheart, they're sound asleep like only a teenage boy can be and Mother's absolutely right, they'll still be asleep when you go back to work in the morning, so there's nothing to worry about." She turned and smiled mischievously as he followed her into the bedroom. "Although I think you should be a lot more worried about showing up back there in the same clothes you were wearing today."
Lee looked down and grimaced – he might have gotten away with the same suit, but the coffee stain on his shirt was going to be harder to explain away. Duncan would have a field day relieving 'Skippy's' misspent youth – and there wasn't a chance any military intelligence agent worth his salt wouldn't notice.
"But lucky for you, I picked up your dry cleaning today," Amanda went on. "So there's a clean suit and a few shirts on the hook by the back door. And if you're a very good boy, I'll even go get them so you don't have to face Statler and Waldorf again tonight."
"I love you," said Lee with heartfelt relief. "Will you marry me?"
"Oh yeah," said Amanda, tipping up on her toes to kiss him. "I'll marry you."