A/N: Happy Tuesday!

"Do you want the last spring roll?" Amanda asked.

"That's yours, isn't it?" Olivia asked, peering into her own empty box. They had, indeed, ordered two dishes of spring rolls. Olivia really didn't share hers.

"Yeah but I don't want it and I know you -." Amanda stopped talking as Olivia's chopsticks swooped down and expertly picked up the final roll. "Yep, that's what I thought."

The brunette grinned goofily, while also chewing with her mouth closed. Amanda wondered how she managed to make that action look, well, not only not repulsive but rather endearing.

"Thanks," Olivia said as she finished her mouthful, placing her chopsticks down on the plate and moving everything to the coffee table which was now littered with Chinese take out debris. Frannie raised her head, nose twitching at the prospect of leftovers. But a stern look from her mama made her settle back down. Amanda didn't tolerate dogs who begged for food, as Frannie well knew.

But to not cause the poor animal too much trauma, she set about gathering up the remnants of their meal and carried it all through to the kitchen, returning with two more beers, their third of the night each.

As she sat back down, a crack of thunder sounded from outside, descending to a rumble which faded into the distance.

"That storm's arrived," she remarked, pulling out her cell phone and briefly checking the weather. "Looks like it's going to be here until midday tomorrow."

"Just our luck for it to rain every minute of our time off," Olivia sighed. "May as well just head in for work tomorrow morning as usual."

"Rain doesn't mean you can't enjoy some down time. We deserve less than twenty-four hours away from that place. You work too hard, you know that, right?"

"It's been pointed out by everyone I've tried to date in the past ten years, yeah," Olivia said, taking a drag from her beer. "But I love my job. I can't imagine doing anything else and I know I'm good at what I do. Not being big headed or anything."

"No, you're not being big headed. You're great at your job. You'll be running the place before we know it. I mean, you must have thought about taking the sergeant's exam, right?"

"Cragen thinks I should sit it later this year. I guess it's the next logical step. I have to admit, I did think I'd be a higher rank than I am at this point in my life but, somehow, it never felt like the right time. I was happy where I was. In hindsight, maybe I was more comfortable than happy."

Amanda hesitated before speaking. "And your partner? He never sat the sergeant's exam or suggested you did?"

The brunette shook her head. "I guess he was comfortable too. It suited us. We were a great team, you know? If one of us had been promoted, things would have shifted. It wasn't ever something we spoke about but maybe we both decided that we weren't going to be the one to take the next step. Which means, fifteen years later, I'm pretty much where I was when I first joined the unit. Only older."

"And wiser."

"Maybe," Olivia acknowledged.

"Liv, you're an amazing detective. The best I've ever worked with, truly. Don't ever put yourself down. But, and tell me if I'm overstepping," as the younger woman spoke, brown eyes locked onto her own, causing Amanda to shift uncomfortably, already knowing the next words out of her mouth were not going to be well received, "do you think maybe the fact that you've got a new partner is a good thing?"

"You mean Amaro? Look, I like Nick and he's a good cop but it's not the same, ok? I worked better with Stabler."

"That's not what I meant," Amanda clarified. "I mean, you said it yourself. You and Stabler were holding each other back from developing your respective careers. Maybe now you've got a bit more freedom to push yourself onto the next stage and take those opportunities. You won't be worrying about leaving Amaro behind or becoming our boss, right? That could be freeing, I suppose. I'm just saying," Amanda shrugged, not quite sure how to finish her point but relieved at least that Olivia hadn't already stood up and stormed out.

There was, however, a long silence. Amanda decided she didn't dare speak, unsure whether the absence of words symbolised a simmering anger which was about to explode at her or quiet contemplation.

"I think you're right."

Well, that wasn't expected, Amanda thought. While she believed there to be much truth in her words given everything she'd picked up from Olivia and office gossip about the woman's previous partnership, she hadn't expected the woman herself to agree to her, let's face it, not-so-mild criticism.

"You do?"

"Don't look so surprised, Rollins. You're a cop with a degree in forensic science. You read people; that's your job. And, I'll admit, I think you've read me pretty damn well. Except for that time you thought I was straight, of course."

Amanda grinned. "Yeah, ok, my gaydar was off but so was yours."

"Fair play."

Another pause. But Amanda, sensing a chink in the older woman's armour, couldn't help but probe a little further. "So, do you think maybe you would have progressed further up the chain of command had you and Stabler not been partners for so long? And, I guess I should start preparing for you to be my boss, right?"

"Oh, I'm already your boss," Olivia laughed. "Senior detective, remember?"

"Touché, but I mean, you're going for the sergeant's exam, right?"

"I've got the paperwork in my apartment," Olivia acknowledged. "It's the right time. And, yes, if Elliot and I hadn't been a team for so many years, this would have happened a while ago. But I don't regret staying as his partner for so long. I could never regret … everything that we shared. He made me a better cop. And I think I made him one too."

"Did you guys, um, I mean, were you … outside of work, I guess … was there ever anything -"

"Just ask the question, Rollins," Olivia sighed.

At this point, Amanda was sensing that she'd reached the limit of Olivia's willingness to share and yet she wasn't able to back out now. Both women knew exactly which question Amanda was not so eloquently trying to address.

"I was just wondering, you know what it's like in our job, it would have been understandable if your partnership developed over time. You wouldn't have been the first to -"

"Fuck?" Olivia asked, tired of Amanda's pathetic attempts to cut to the chase. The blonde bit her lip and then nodded. "No, we didn't. I wanted to, I won't pretend and anyone in the squad would probably speculate that we did cross that line but it never happened. He was married, is married, in fact. He would never have cheated on Kathy. And I didn't want him to cheat on her for me. I knew I had feelings for him but I never acted on them. It was hard given the job we do and the situations we end up and what we see. He was the only person I could talk to about some things and I was that person for him too. We were close, more than close, really. Kathy hated me. I don't blame her. But Elliot and I never slept together. We never even kissed."

"I … I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

It was evident from the expression on the brunette's face that the conversation had saddened her. Amanda's question had brought up raw and possibly unresolved emotions. Amanda felt guilty for having darkened the mood of the evening. As if on cue, another grumble of thunder came from outside, the edge of the window where the blind left a gap flashed white.

"It's bad out there," Olivia remarked, listening to the rain as it lashed the glass.

"The offer still stands," Amanda said, eager to move onto a new topic. "If you want to stay, you're more than welcome."

"Would you mind?" Olivia asked, finally turning back to the blonde and Amanda was shocked to see that the woman looked suddenly exhausted, as if the week had caught up with her in those few seconds. "I don't think I can face heading back home tonight."

"Of course not. You can take my bed. I'll sleep out here with Frannie."

"Don't be silly, Amanda, I'm not kicking you out of your own bed. I'll sleep on the couch. But you can take Frannie with you. Sweet as she is, I'm not keep on being licked awake."

Unfortunately for Amanda, she had just taken a swig of beer when the older woman made that final declaration. There was a split second in which the comment hung in the air then the blonde was coughing and spluttering, beer having hit the back of her throat and somehow, inexplicably, come out through her nose. Too busy choking to recognise the cringeworthy embarrassment of the situation, Amanda smacked herself on the chest as Olivia reached for a napkin and tried to pass it to the woman struggling to catch her breath.

"Are you ok?" she asked, peering into Amanda's reddened and damp face.

"Jeez," she gasped, throat hoarse, "you gotta warn a lesbian before you say something like that."

Olivia looked shocked for a second before letting out a peel of laughter. Amanda, now finding it easier to breath although her nose and throat still burned, chuckled too, relieved that the lingering tension from the Elliot Stabler conversation had dissipated.

"I'll go get those blankets," Amanda said eventually, wiping tears from her eyes. "Do you want to borrow some PJs?"

"I doubt you have PJs that would fit me."

"Nonsense, I'm just shorter than you."

"Yeah, and the rest," Olivia said, hands splaying over her own stomach.

If there was one thing Amanda hated to see, it was a beautiful woman who didn't know just how beautiful she was. She turned to Olivia and took those hands in her own, pulling them away from the area of her body the brunette was most conscious about and waited for those big brown eyes to meet her own.

"You are the most stunning women I've ever met, Olivia Benson," Amanda said quietly. "You're beautiful and you're strong and you're smart and you're funny and you care. God, you care so much, don't you? Not just about your work but about everyone. And the worst thing is you care what people think but you judge it based on what you think of yourself. And you can't see how amazing you are. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you, Olivia. Because you're incredible."

A soft smile played across the blonde's lips when she finished and Olivia forced herself to mirror the expression, even though her eyes burned hot with tears.

"Thank you," she said at last, voice cracked with emotion. "That was very sweet of you to say."

"It wasn't sweet," Amanda replied defiantly. "It's the truth."

She squeezed Olivia's hands once more and then let them go, getting to her feet and walking out of the living room and down the hallway, calling over her shoulder that she'd be back in a moment with some pyjamas and blankets. As soon as she heard a door close, Olivia allowed herself to flop back onto the couch, closed her eyes and let the tears slide down her cheeks.

On the other side of the bedroom door, Amanda leaned heavily against the wood and drew a steadying breath in an attempt to settle her racing heart.

A/N: we're getting somewhere!