Lee was wandering past Francine's desk on his way from Billy's office to his own, when he noticed the small box of golden chocolate coins sitting on her desk.
"May I?" he asked, already reaching.
"Hands off!" she snapped, slapping his hand lightly. "They're a gift." She moved the box a little out of his reach. "You know better than that."
"Oh I do, I really do," he agreed, teasing her. "So have you got a secret Santa or something? I thought that didn't happen until next week."
"Something like that," she shrugged and continued pretending to ignore him.
Well, well, lucky you," he smirked and carried on into the hallway.
"Isn't this the new Tom Clancy? In hardback? Someone's feeling flush with money," Lee teased her, picking the novel up off her desk. "Did you get a Christmas bonus the rest of us didn't?"
"It's a gift," she growled, taking it back out of his hands and putting it down on the desk with a thud.
Lee's eyes narrowed as she blushed slightly. "My, oh my, someone's popular," he grinned
"I've always been popular, Stetson," she smirked at him. "And some of us haven't been acting normal and boring lately."
"Touché." Lee held his hands up in surrender and winked before walking away to chat with Billy.
"Someone gave you a Rubik's cube?" Lee picked up the box to study it.
"Looks like it." Francine didn't look up from her computer screen.
"Let me guess – it was a gift."
"Don't you have better things to do than hang around my desk and bug me, Lee?"
"Oh I'm sure I do, but this is turning out to be way more fun."
"Put it down and go bug Amanda instead. She still likes you."
"Mmm, someone in here has gotten a new aftershave," Amanda muttered to Francine, as she sat down beside her at the staff meeting. "It makes for a nice change."
"Yeah," she answered. "Ralph Lauren. One of my favorites." She gave Lee a death glare across the table as he smothered a snort of laughter.
"You've started wearing men's cologne, have you?" he smirked. He leaned forward a bit and pretended to sniff the air. "It does seem to suit you though."
"That is not what I meant, and you know it. In fact... didn't I give you some when we were dating? No wonder Amanda likes it."
There was a ripple of laughter around the table as everyone watched the verbal tennis match.
"Well, you do like to mark your men," he shot back, making even Amanda snort. He leaned back and surveyed the room. "But I changed brands a few years ago. So now the question is... who…?"
"That would be me," muttered Beaman from the end of the table. "It was a gift."
"Ohhhh…" Lee grinned, raising an eyebrow at Francine.
"Shut up," said Francine.
"Did I say anything?" he said in an innocent tone.
"You were going to – I can tell. We know Efraim has excellent taste in women – maybe his girlfriend has excellent taste in aftershave."
"Well, I think it's lovely. You're lucky to have such a thoughtful friend, Efraim," said Amanda, putting an end to the conversation – and Beaman's strangled noises of embarrassment - with all her maternal skills.
"And after the candles are lit, then what?" Lee had arrived just in time to hear Francine's question to Beaman.
"Well, then we'll eat," Efraim laughed. "And play games."
"Oh Francine, it can't have been that long since your last date that you've forgotten that part, can it? Soft light, bottle of wine…. A nice game of backgammon…" he teased. He looked at Efraim who was looking even more embarrassed than usual. "Wait a minute… Is this where all those presents have been coming for the last week? Beaman, have you secret Santa'd your way into finally getting Francine to go on a date with you?"
Efraim looked from Lee to Francine, suddenly tongue-tied. "I... what?"
"Why don't you go back to work, Efraim and I'll see you later. Four o'clock, right?" Francine waited for him to nod, then made a shooing motion. He gulped once, looked back and forth between the two of them, then turned tail and took off down the hallway.
"You can be such a jerk!" Francine hissed at Lee, then she also turned and walked off in the opposite direction, heels clicking on the tiled floor of the classroom level like an audible testament to her annoyance.
"Aw, come on – you're still getting a romantic dinner tonight! Why are you mad at me?" Lee called after her.
Francine stopped dead, whirled and gave him a death glare. "Jerk!" she spat out again and then she was gone.
"What did I do?" he asked the empty corridor, honestly puzzled. He'd teased Francine like this a hundred times before and never gotten this reaction. Even Efraim had been getting used to being teased – he and Lee had become good enough friends since they'd worked together to rescue Francine last spring that he usually barely reacted to that kind of guy humor anymore.
"Yeesh – everyone's so touchy," he continued to talk out loud as he headed for the elevator. "So much for everybody being in a holiday mood."
It was several steps later when the realization hit him like a ton of bricks. "Oh, hell," Lee muttered, stopping dead and slapping his forehead. He wheeled and headed back down the corridor to the training classrooms, peering in every door until he found Efraim, thankfully alone.
"Hey," he said, uncomfortably. "I, uhhh, think I might owe you an apology."
Efraim leaned back in his chair and surveyed him. "Figured it out, huh?"
"Only after Francine told me I was a jerk and stormed off and I wasn't sure why," Lee admitted sheepishly. "You were talking about Hanukkah candles, weren't you?"
"Got it in one," smiled Efraim, tossing a rolled-up ball of paper at him. "Not exactly romantic."
"No," agreed Lee. "She was right – I'm a jerk."
"A jerk with a one-track mind apparently," Efraim nodded. "Some things never change."
"I hear candles and food and that's definitely where my brain goes."
"Well, the candles only last about half an hour and the food is potato pancakes and jelly donuts, accompanied by my over-excited nephews, soooo…"
"Not romantic."
"Not at all."
"But you still managed to get Francine to agree to come over for it? Did all those little presents actually turn out to be the way to her heart?"
Efraim gave him a huge grin. "Ah well, you're not the only one who's just figured something out. You see, I haven't given Francine anything – it would never occur to me to get a nice gentile girl a Hanukkah gift."
"But she had all those things on her desk… the chocolate, the book, the… oh my God!" Lee smacked his forehead again. "She wasn't getting presents, she was giving them to you. She was your Secret Santa. I mean, not Santa, obviously..."
"Wow, keep digging there, Stetson – this is impressive. And yeah, I had no idea where they were coming from until you opened your big mouth," Efraim beamed. "I thought it was probably just some recruits sucking up."
"So I owe her an apology too," Lee sighed. He looked up at Beaman with a rueful expression, then dropped his head back down, shaking it sorrowfully.
"Here I was, thinking it was Hanukkah and apparently it's Yom Kippur," Efraim mocked him.
Lee lifted his head and squinted at him. "You're hilarious."
"I am, aren't I?" grinned Efraim happily. "And even better, I'm not the one she's pissed at right now."
"You're right there. This is going to require some Olympic level grovelling." Lee watched him spin the Rubik's cube on the tip of his finger like a Harlem Globetrotter with a basketball. "You know, Francine's a bit like one of those," he offered.
Efraim looked up at him suspiciously, waiting for the punchline. "Let me guess – she's twisted? Has sharp edges? Oh wait, I know – she's annoying."
"Actually I was going to say, she's got a lot of sides but she's worth figuring out." He sighed deeply. "And now I better figure out how to get her to forgive me for being a jerk."
"Well do it quick. I need her in a good mood before she meets my family tonight."
"Family, huh? Lee whistled. "I knew she's loyal enough to her friends to take a bullet for them, but a family dinner? She must really like you."
"I offered her prey," Efraim smiled. "She's going to slay some dragons for me."
"That sounds more like her," chuckled Lee. "Well, wish me luck – I'm going to need it."
"Bet I can solve this before you can get her calmed down," Efraim called after him, waving the cube in one hand
"I bet you can too," admitted Lee from the doorway. "This is going to require a lot of chocolate."