First things first.
I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER!
ALL RIGHTS BELONGS TO JK ROWLING!
Yay, another Harry Potter story of mine and this time something about Christmas :)
This idea was stuck in my head for a long time and finally I found time to write it down and translate it.
I'll leave this here as a one-shot for now, as I'm not sure yet whether I will write another chapter or not.
I would like to, but at the moment I just don't have the motivation and the time to do it.
I hope you like it. I'm not going to reveal anything here. Just let yourself be surprised ;)
There will be more information about this story idea at the end of the story in the author's note ;).
Small "warning" in advance: OOC (At least I think so. I try to stay true to the characters,
but since I'm still new to HP I don't know if I can always do it. Hence the warning).
By the way, the whole thing takes place in Harry's first year.
I hope you like it and again sorry for grammer/spelling mistakes; english isn't my first language.
I had to translate this from german into english and I hope it isn't too bad.
And I would appreciate feedback in the form of a comment very much.
Please don't be shy and share your thoughts with me. I won't bite you.
All alone on Christmas…or not?
Lost in his thoughts, Severus Snape poked around in his dinner and his dark eyes stared listlessly at his plate. He didn't know why he had even eaten anything; he didn't feel hungry at all. Especially not when he let his gaze wander through the great hall.
The tables were mostly empty as the Christmas holidays were just around the corner. Only here and there did he see a few students having dinner and talking excitedly or joking around and laughing happily.
A look to the side showed him that some teachers were already gone. Only he, Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall and Professor Flitwick were still there. The other teachers were either in the staff room or were already busy packing and with some teachers Severus was also very glad that they were no longer sitting at a table with him. Especially when it came to a certain teacher with a turban on his head...
As every year, only a small handful of teachers would stay at Hogwarts and keep an eye on the students who didn't go home for Christmas. Few students stayed at Hogwarts that year and one of them was Harry Potter.
Severus' look darkened as he only thought of the name and his dark eyes focused on the boy he despised as much as he had despised his father.
Harry was sitting with the Weasely boy at the almost completely empty Gryffindor table and seemed to be having a great time, although he was one of the few who stayed at Hogwarts over Christmas.
Why?
Severus didn't know the answer to that question and why Harry's relatives didn't want him home for Christmas. He had only known the boy for a few months, but he was pretty sure that he would be treated like a little prince at home. Spoiled by his relatives, he was sure to get everything he wanted.
At least that was what he was telling himself.
He deliberately ignored the fact that the boy looked way too thin and always seemed to be wearing old, worn clothes when he wasn't wearing his school uniform, as well as the fact that the boy often winced when someone was raising his hand a bit too fast in his presence.
He shook his head and growled softly as he watched the two boys for a few more moments and how they were having a great time and joking around before his dark eyes returned to his plate. For a few seconds he poked around in his food before he pushed the plate away with a low sigh and ran his hands over his face. He skillfully ignored Albus' question about a candy cane for dessert.
"Severus? Is everything alright with you?"
He didn't answer immediately when Minerva spoke to him and tore him out of his thoughts. Eventually he decided to simply nod his head in response, hoping this would keep her from asking further questions. But he knew better, since he had known Minerva for a long time and although she always made a stern impression, she worried about every single one of her students and also about her colleagues; including him.
One way or another she seemed to have a strong bond with him. No wonder, they had known each other for what felt like an eternity by now. For Severus some days it felt like it was only yesterday when he walked through these halls for the first time and Minerva put on the sorting hat that had put him in Slytherin and sealed his fate. Sometimes he wished he could turn back the time and undo many of his decisions, but he knew that this was simply impossible. Too much had happened to ever undo everything. He also knew about the dangers of time travel and how much could go wrong with it.
It got particularly bad for him at Christmas time.
He couldn't bear to see all the happy students and teachers who were looking forward to the festival of all festivals and who were busy with their preparations. He couldn't look forward to anything like that, for he had neither family nor friends. The students feared him and the teachers were skeptical of him, some even aloof. Only Albus and Minerva seemed to like him and it was a mystery to him how they could like him after all he'd done in his past...
A hand, that came to rest on his shoulder, made him wince and his head snapped around and he looked into Minerva's stern eyes, shuddering.
"I don't like it when you lie to me, you know that. So, out with it: What's wrong with you?"
Inwardly, he rolled his eyes. It was clear that he couldn't fool Minerva. Even back when he was only a student at Hogwarts, she had seen exactly when he had been feeling bad. Something that had happened far too often and far too often it had been Minerva who had comforted him when everyone else had let him down.
Either she or Lily...
Just thinking of the name gave his otherwise cold heart a tremendous pang that made him visibly flinch and he quickly turned his face away from his colleague, because he didn't want her to see the pain in his eyes. One way or another she had seen way too much already.
"I'm fine, Minerva!" he growled, before shaking off her hand and rising from his seat.
"If you will excuse me...I still have something to do..." he growled and without looking at the others he left the staff table and left three confused-looking professors behind.
"Oh my, someone got up on the wrong foot first this morning..." remarked Professor Flitwick as he looked after Snape and how he almost impaled a group of Hufflepuffs with his dark gaze, as they were about to enter the great hall, laughing happily. When they saw him, they immediately made room for him and their laughter died down.
"Don't you have anything better to do than stare at me?!" they heard him hissing and the group of young first years stammered something before they put as much distance between themselves and Snape as they could.
"It's never been as bad as this year..." Minerva muttered, keeping her eyes on Severus, who hissed at Harry and Ron, even though they hadn't done anything wrong, before he left the great hall with swift steps and billowing robes and left two scared looking boys behind.
"Give him time, Minerva. He will calm down eventually."
"I don't think it will be as easy this time as it has been in past years, Albus. We should do something."
"And what, my dear, do you intend to do about it?"
If she was being honest, she had no answer to that question. At least not yet.
At Christmas time Severus was always more irritable than usual and he distanced himself from everything and everyone and preferred to be alone over Christmas. She could guess why that was the case, but that wasn't a solution either. Nobody deserved to be alone and depressed at Christmas. Not even a Severus Snape...
"I'll come up with something, Albus. But it cannot go on like this."
"I know Minerva, I know. But I doubt that there is anything that would at least lighten his mood a bit."
Silence then spread between them before Minerva's lips twisted into a small grin when she thought of something.
"I think I know what to do. Leave that to me, Albus," she said, before getting up, straightening her robes and then wishing the two professors a good evening before she too left the great hall...
Meanwhile, Severus was on his way to the library with quick steps, knowing that he would be alone there now and that was exactly what he wanted: To be alone, to take a book and get lost in the texts of old potion books until this damn Christmas would finally be over and they could all go back to their normal school life.
Although normal school life could hardly be talked about anymore, if he only thought that this Potter brat would soon be back in his class. If he just looked at the boy he felt sick, because he just looked like his blasted father! Only his eyes he has got from his mother...
Again he felt this stabbing pain inside his chest, shook his head and snarled again at a group of students who hurried past him and quickly fled towards the great hall. He paid no attention to them and his own feet brought him quickly towards the library, which he found abandoned.
At least here he would have his peace from this whole Christmas madness!
It was bad enough that the entire student body went crazy when the first Christmas decorations were placed in the school and Hagrid brought the huge Christmas tree, but that even some teachers went crazy...and Dumbledore was one of them. The Headmaster himself!
Dumbledore had even referred to him as the Scrooge of Hogwarts. Even if it wasn't meant seriously, Severus had just grumbled into his non-existent beard and had disappeared into the dungeons. But of course that hadn't stopped Dumbledore from putting a self-made present in front of his door on Christmas morning and Severus rolled his eyes as he remembered it: A green, hand-knitted sweater by Albus Dumbledore. He still shuddered when he thought about it.
He skillfully ignored the fact that the sweater was still lying in the dark depths of his closet...
It was still a good week until Christmas Eve, but already everyone was going crazy in the castle. Except Severus. He preferred to be alone. Like every year. He didn't need anyone and only wanted one thing: his well-deserved peace (and he wanted to have as much distance as possible from Albus. Not that Albus gave him a pair of matching socks to go with his sweater!).
That was why he had retired to the library that evening.
His feet carried him unerringly to the book department he loved to rummage through and he took a long tome about rare potions and how they were brewed, sat down at one of the long wooden tables and opened the book. But he couldn't really concentrate, because every now and then a noise came through the closed door of the library. Grumbling, he picked up his book and moved a few shelves away from the door and sat down at a table further back in the library, where he finally found peace.
He supported his head with one hand while the other hand lazily leafed through the book. How many times he had read this book he could no longer say. He knew almost every word from it and actually it was ridiculous that he kept picking up this book whenever he was feeling bad. But he remembered reading it with Lily when he was still a student at Hogwarts. Good old days and it had been one of the very few moments in his life when he had had fun and had been really happy...
Fun was something that was alien to him today and if he was brutally honest he didn't even know what it felt like to have fun or to be really happy. And that's why he hated watching the students so much and how they fooled around as if they were still toddlers. And to his horror he often saw some of the teachers and how said teachers didn't behave according to their age either. Even Dumbledore behaved like this sometimes and he had often tried to get Severus to join in. As if he would ever participate in something like that. Ridiculous!
Severus preferred to remain indifferent to something like that or he went straight to distance, because after all he had a reputation to lose. Every student feared him and for each and every one of them he was the creepy old "bat" that lived in the dark depths of the dungeons and spread fear and terror among the students. Even some of the teachers, especially those newly hired, sometimes felt uncomfortable around him. It was fine with Severus, because at least that way they left him alone.
He was also glad that this stupid parents' evenings idea, that Albus had wanted to introduce at one point or another had been a total flop.
A small, mean grin crept onto his face as he just remembered how even the parents had almost been close to tears when he had finished with them. It was probably also the reason why these parents' evenings were quickly abolished.
It was better that way, because the less time he had to spend with other people, the better it was for him...
He was rudely torn from his thoughts when something suddenly brushed his legs and he was so frightened by that, that his knees collided painfully with the underside of the solid wooden table and he was tempted to pull out his wand, but when he looked under the table, he realized with relief that it was just a cat. A gray / tabby cat staring at him with emerald green eyes and something mischievous sparkled in those not-so-normal cat eyes, which made Severus only roll with his own eyes.
"Seriously, Minerva?" he grumbled, annoyed, when the gray cat purred and rubbed her body against his legs again and meowed something in response.
He knew Minerva's ancient trick all too well, because he remembered that she liked to do this with students who were new and were afraid. But even if a student was feeling bad, she liked to turn into a cat and keep said student company until he was feeling better. Which usually didn't take long, because who could resist the lovely charm of a cat?
Even Severus had to admit that this "secret weapon" had worked for him before. However, he was eleven years old and new at Hogwarts the last time it had worked on him. He vaguely remembered staying in McGonagall's classroom after everyone else had left. And then suddenly there was this gray cat who had spent time with him and suddenly he had felt better.
Apparently Minerva thought that this little trick still worked on him.
Twenty long years had passed between the last time and now and Severus had experienced a lot of suffering in those years, which had finally turned his heart to ice. Something so silly and ridiculous would not lift his spirits anymore. He was sure of that, so he preferred to concentrate on his book again and just ignore the cat at his feet. Even if that wasn't exactly easy, since McGonagall was trying everything to get his attention.
He felt the cat still rubbing her body against his legs, rubbing her head against his knees and the young Potions Master rolled his eyes in annoyance and pulled his legs away from her. But that didn't stop the cat in the least from continuing.
"Don't you have something else to do, Minerva?" Severus growled, as the cat teasingly ran her tail through the back of his knees. Again, the answer to his question was a quiet meow and it almost seemed to him as if this damn cat was making fun of him!
To his relief, however, she let go of his legs and disappeared. At least it looked like she was disappearing, but Severus knew better, knew that Minerva wasn't giving up anytime soon. And he was right, because it wasn't long before the cat was back. This time she jumped onto the table and when Severus continued to punish her with disregard, she just lay down in the middle of the book he was still trying to read and stared at him with her big green eyes cheekily.
The Potions Master rolled his eyes again and tried to continue to ignore the cat. Instead of paying attention to her, he reached out for the book and tried to pull it out from under the cat, but Minerva just playfully attacked his hands with her paws. Without claws, of course, but it was enough that Severus reflexively withdrew his hands and growled at her.
"Don't do that!" he grumbled as he stretched out his hands again and playfully Minerva tried to "hit" him again. Mischief flashed in her eyes and Severus knew that he wouldn't get out of this so easily.
The Animagus then rolled over on her back and looked at him expectantly.
"Oh no. No, no, no. Forget it! I will definitely not rub your belly!"
Had McGonagall been able to do this in her current form, she had laughed out loud when she saw how Severus defiantly crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her almost like a petulant child.
As so often, her younger colleague turned to stubborn when someone was trying to be nice to him and to spend some time with him. But Minerva was already used to this behavior enough and knew that she just had to persevere to tear down the wall that Severus had built higher and higher over the years.
And so she just went on to the next "attack", got up again and padded over to him on her velvet paws and rubbed her head against his crossed arms, but Severus simply pulled them away from her.
"Stop it, Minerva."
But she didn't think of stopping, but continued and this time she rubbed her head against his chin. When he tried to turn his head away, she just threw her body against his chest and purred as loudly as she could, but he ignored that too. Even when she noticed that it was apparently getting harder for him to ignore her.
Severus was hard to lure out of his ice cold shell, but she felt that his hard facade had starting to crumble, because he no longer made the annoyed impression as before and now intentionally avoided eye contact with her, as she knew that otherwise he would become soft. Exactly what she wanted!
So much for "this trick no longer worked on him"!
Yeah, right! She would show him how wrong he was!
He could pretend to be as evil and emotionless as he wanted to, Minerva knew better, knew that his heart wasn't quite as cold as he always wanted her and the others to believe. You just had to know which buttons to press to lure the real Severus out of this hard facade of his...
Several times she rubbed her head against his chest, but Severus continued to ignore her, pulled his book closer and tried to read the page in front of him and simply ignore the clingy cat, but that was no longer as easy as he had initially thought. She turned around and rubbed her head on his hand and teasingly flicked the tip of her tail against his chin and it was not hidden from her how the corners of his mouth twitched up a tiny bit for a millisecond. And that was the moment when she knew that she had him where she wanted him. Now she just had to get him to pet her.
Once more she rubbed her head against his hand, but he still made no move to pet her and so she straightened up again, turned around and threw herself against his chest again. When there was still no reaction (with the exception of an annoyed growl on his part) she put her front paws on his chest and rubbed her cheek against his neck and finally she got a reaction from him, because Severus jerked back and carefully but decisive pushed her away from him.
"Stop it!" he muttered and amusement sparkled again in those shining cat eyes and she wriggled free from his grip and rubbed her cheek against his neck again and this time the corners of his mouth twitched upwards. The combination of tickling whiskers on his skin and the boldness of McGonagall was enough to make the wall crumble even more and Severus was shocked to find that he couldn't get rid of the tiny smile on his face anymore. No wonder, the cat was purring straight into his ear and he could feel her paws on his chest and how she started to knead. He had long since let go of her, knowing that it was pointless to keep trying to keep her away from him anyway, because Minerva was just as stubborn as he was and so in the end he just surrendered to his fate and he gave up.
His hand rose almost by itself and without being able to do anything about it, his fingers brushed through the soft fur of the cat. At first hesitantly, but when the cat arched into his hand by making a slight hump, his fingers dug gently into the soft fur and he began to pet her. Of course, he kept his eyes averted from Minerva, since he just couldn't look at her at that moment. He couldn't stand the triumphant look that he knew twinkled in her eyes right now.
Carefully he let his dark eyes wander through the library and he paid attention to every little noise, because if a teacher or even a student approached him now, he would immediately stop petting the cat and scare her away. After all, he had a reputation to lose!
Fortunately for him and his reputation as the meanest teacher in the history of Hogwarts, nobody came to destroy this moment and he visibly calmed down and the tension fell away from him little by little.
And that had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he continued to pet this brazen cat or how she pressed herself against him, purring loudly and closed her eyes with relish when he scratched her behind her ear with the other hand.
No, that had nothing to do with this at all...
When the huge clock struck midnight that night, gentle footsteps echoed down the dark corridor as Albus Dumbledore slowly moved through the castle.
Since many teachers had already left, he helped the remaining ones with their rounds of control through the huge castle. He was also reassured by these night walks around Hogwarts. He loved the silence around him or the gentle flicker of the candles that lit his way for him.
No student or teacher met him on his round and his feet carried him unerringly towards the library. He wanted to make sure that there was no student there before he went to bed, because he knew it from his own school days that as a student you could quickly forget the time. Some even fell asleep while they sat in the library and lost themselves in the old magic books.
And that was exactly why Albus always checked the library and he had also told the other teachers to do the same on their rounds.
As expected, the library was deserted.
But to be really sure he walked each row individually.
And to his great surprise, he even found someone further back.
But what he found there was not a student.
It was something else entirely.
Something he thought he couldn't believe his eyes because in front of him he saw Severus Snape sitting at a long table.
He had his hands crossed on the table and his head rested on them and seemed to be asleep, for his eyes were closed and his breathing was smooth and even. That alone would have been a cause for surprise, but what really surprised Albus was the cat lying on Severus' back and gently kneading his shoulders with her paws.
The stunned Headmaster blinked a few times, even rubbing his eyes, just to make sure he wasn't imagining it and it was actually happening.
When the shock was over and he processed the scene, a big smile spread across his face and his eyes twinkled with amusement as he looked at Minerva, who returned his gaze.
"As I can see you actually managed to calm our Potions Master."
The amusement twinkled in the cat's eyes as well and carefully she straightened up and jumped off Severus' back.
Dumbledore stepped slowly next to the sleeping teacher, took off his cloak and put it gently over him.
"We should let him sleep. Although I have to admit that this is not the most suitable place to rest. He's been getting too little sleep lately. I don't have the heart to wake him up now."
The gray cat meowed in response, turned around, jumped off the table and a few seconds later Professor McGonagall was standing next to Albus, who was still smiling gently at her.
"Thank you, Minerva, that you still managed to bring Severus back to his senses."
"I wouldn't say it like that, but it's a start," she remarked and she gently stroked the young potions teacher's raven hair, whose lips twisted into a small smile. But he didn't wake up from his slumber.
"He's making life too difficult for himself, Albus. He just doesn't want to admit that he is not alone and that there are people who care for him. Just like us both."
"I know, my dear. I know. The boy has never had it easy and he has changed over the years. But I know for sure that his heart is not completely cold and that there is still a lot of good in him. You just have to tickle it out of him every now and then. Trust me, Minerva. He knows deep down that he is never alone here. He is just too proud to allow this thought."
"What about Potter?"
"What should be with the boy?"
"Didn't you see how Severus verbally lashed out on him earlier? Just like that for no reason?"
Albus fixed his eyes on the sleeping teacher and a compassionate look appeared in his eyes.
"Give them both time. Severus will find out eventually that Harry is not like his father. There are wounds that never heal, but still decrease in pain over time. Do you remember how Severus came to Hogwarts?"
"How could I forget that, Albus."
"And wasn't it we two who showed him that he is not alone and that we care about him?"
Minerva's lips curled up in a small smile and she sat down next to Severus and stroked his hair again.
"Yes, Albus. It was always us. And this year it will be us again. Nobody deserves to be alone. Especially not at Christmas. I think when Severus saw Harry with the Weasely boy earlier, envy caught up with him. I know him and he still thinks that nobody likes him. He just doesn't see that this is not the case. It is time again that we remind him how wrong he is."
"That's how I see it, Minerva, and we have enough time to show him. Especially now at Christmas time."
"And we will."
Albus smiled silently at her and his eyes twinkled again.
"We should let him sleep now. Are you coming with me, Minerva?"
"No, Albus. I'll stay with him a little longer and keep him company."
"If that is your wish ..."
When Albus turned around, still with a smile on his lips, and left the library, he left the sleeping Severus, at whose side the tabby cat lay again and cuddled gently against him and soon followed him into the land of dreams...
~TBC~
Author's note:
My personal headcanon is that Albus and Minerva sometimes act like parental figures for Severus and help him here and there when he's feeling bad.
Of course we all know Snape and how cold he acts, but I am also sure a little bit of love from others can make the ice melt just a tiny bit ;).
And I think many of you who have cats themselves will recognize the behavior here. Our cat (ironically named Lily) is just as brash as described here, if not worse. If she wants attention and we ignore her, she really does anything to get attention. In the end, she stands on her hind legs and throws herself against our backs with her entire body (and our other cat, Fiona, is not better XD). Cats are great and I don't know anyone who can resist them. Cats make me very happy, especially when I am sad. Cats and Chickens (okay all animals, but especialy cats and chickens :3), so I thought, "That would be some kind of a little cheer up for Severus". I may quote "Because who can resist the lovely charm of a cat?" ;).