Route: Blue Lions / Azure Moon (pre-timeskip)

Pairing: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/M!Byleth (pre-relationship)

Warning: Mention/implied PTSD

Summary: For M!Dimileth Week 2020 (originally posted on AO3 on the assigned posting date). Dimitri was stunned. He'd never heard his professor laugh before.

The Meaning of Joy

"And that's why it's so very important to strengthen your whole body and practice your basic stances," Dimitri concluded.

Seven sets of eyes blinked up at him, all of them bored and with no traces of comprehension.

Dimitri sighed. "I'm sorry; I'm afraid I'm just not very good at explaining things," he lamented.

"If verbal instruction fails to get the point across, then perhaps a practical demonstration is in order," said a quiet voice.

"Professor Byleth!" The children squealed with delight, dropped their wooden practice swords, and broke ranks to mob the young instructor.

Dimitri turned and greeted him with a smile and a wave.

"Ah, good morning, Professor. I trust you slept well?"

Byleth nodded, seemingly ignoring the fact that the children had turned him into a climbing wall. Two of them had managed to climb onto his back, arms slung over his neck and either shoulder, two more were clasping his wrists and yanking on his arms, and the last three were competing for space to hug him around the waist. "I did, thank you." His lips quirked in a grateful smile. "And you?"

"I am well-rested and ready for the day," Dimitri lied. As usual, he'd wrestled with night terrors and bouts of insomnia in turn, but it hadn't been as bad as usual. Truth be told, he wanted to be more honest with the professor, but doing so would no doubt wipe the smile from Byleth's face, and replace it with worry.

The mercenary had only recently begun expressing happiness more openly, his eyes crinkling at the corners and lips unconsciously learning the different shapes they could make to convey his feelings. Dimitri found every one of them equally mesmerizing, and was eager to see them all as often as possible.

Byleth tilted his head every-so-slightly, but the children were demanding his attention.

Jacob, the seven year old boy clinging to his left arm jumped up and down. "What are you gonna teach us today, Professor?"

Byleth looked down at the little boy. "We'll continue with the principles Dimitri was explaining. I'll instruct each of you one-on-one, while he takes the rest of you through our drills."

"Okay!"

The orphans chatted excitedly until Byleth said, "Um, but I'm going to need my arms if I'm to show you anything."

All of them released him and ran to pick up their weapons. They plopped down on the grass, sitting cross-legged with their swords across their laps, eyes shining with eagerness.

Dimitri gazed at his teacher fondly while the professor took a moment to further explain the techniques they were going to practice. Unlike himself, Byleth was great with the kids, easily earning their trust and adoration within their first meeting.

Then again, the same could be said for almost everyone at Garreg Mach. The monastery's youngest instructor was so direct and straightforward, but also incredibly kind. There was never a sense that he was working with some ulterior notice, or hiding behind a crafted facade. He was mysterious, to be sure, but it wasn't intentional on his part, for he was as much in the dark regarding his origins than anyone.

In any case, Dimitri truly cared for and respected him, and he savored every moment he got to spend with everyone's favorite teacher, even if he had to share those moments with others. In fact, it was almost safer that way. Being alone with him tended to have strange effects on Dimitri, such as an increase in body temperature and heart rate; he was beginning to wonder if he should consult Professor Manuela about that.

After Byleth finished his exposition, he took aside one student at a time to spar, leaving Dimitri to lead the other six in strengthening exercises and the fundamentals of swordplay. Every ten minutes or so, the professor would switch out his student with one of Dimitri's, thus ensuring that all of them got a thorough workout and personal attention.

After Byleth had seen each of the children, he called their session to an end. The kids collapsed to the ground, rubbing sore muscles and training bruises, and gulping from a water jug passed between them.

"It's not fair!" the eldest boy whined. "We've been training for over a month, and none of us can get a single hit on you, professor!"

Dimitri chuckled. "Don't feel bad, Rowan. I've been studying with him for several months now, and I haven't managed it either."

Byleth crossed his arms and smiled down at the discouraged juveniles. " I know you're frustrated, but all of you have greatly improved since we've begun. Practice always yields results, even if you do not see it yet."

Predictably, the children continued to grumble, albeit with less defeat in their voices.

Dimitri could relate to their impatience, but he knew they'd calm down in short order. Aside from the enthusiasm of their youth, the professor had a talent for bringing out the best in his students, even when (or especially when) there were setbacks. He encouraged, he consoled, and he critiqued, but he didn't coddle.

"I'll make you a deal," Byleth said. "Let's review last week's lesson on teamwork with one more exercise. If, by working together, you can disarm me in the next fifteen minutes, I will bake a special treat for you while I'm on kitchen duty tonight."

The youngest, Robin, raised her hand. "Do we have to do it with our weapons?"

Byleth shook his head. "Use whatever means you wish."

The group exchanged glances with one another, their faces alight with mischief.

"Take a few moments to confer." The professor retrieved his practice sword and walked far enough away to give them some space. "Come at me whenever you're ready."

Dimitri followed him. "Are you sure this is wise?" he asked. "Those kids can be exceptionally devious."

"I know. I'm counting on that. I consider it a training opportunity for myself as well. As you know, true combat is unpredictable. Subjecting oneself to a variety of arbitrary scenarios helps to develop the ability to think on one's feet, and adjust your strategy to compensate."

"I suppose that's true," Dimitri conceded, "though I'm more inclined to think you're doing this to cheer them up. Unless you think it probable that an enemy faction would send child soldiers as young as this into battle?"

Byleth lowered his head. "You're right about the first part, although..."

"Professor?" Dimitri prompted.

"Let's just say... the latter isn't as unlikely as you may think."

"We're ready!"

Byleth raised his blade and took a casual guard stance. "Very well. Then let's begin."

All seven children charge at him.

Dimitri got out of the way just in time. He stood back and watched, amused by their efforts. They had no discernable strategy that he could see, other than hacking aimlessly. They wouldn't get very far that way.

Then he noticed Kellam, the burliest of the boys, slowly sidestepping around the others, his sword swinging less intentional than the others. The professor tracked his movements enough to block his blows, but his primary focus was on the ones attacking in earnest. And despite being swarmed, he blocked, dodged and parried with little effort.

Suddenly, Kellam dropped to his hands and knees directly behind Byleth's legs. As soon as he was in position, the others - as one - stopped swinging and started pushing. Two of them even launched themselves at him in flying tackles.

Were it not for the boy behind his knees, Dimitri had no doubt that Byleth would have stayed upright. Instead, he tripped backwards over Kellam and went crashing to the ground, limbs flailing.

The children leapt onto him. One child each took a hold of a limb, Robin sat on his stomach, and Rowan and Kellam caught his dominant hand and tried to pry his fingers from the hilt.

"Hey!" Byleth writhed (Dimitri suspected that the effort was half-hearted at best) to free himself, and tightened his grip on his sword.

The kids did not relent, until Byleth made a strange noise and bolted upright, sending them tumbling off.

Sensing a shift in their teacher's demeanor, none of them attempted to jump back on.

"What's wrong, Professor?" Robin asked, still half on his lap.

Byleth shook his head slightly, his brows furrowed. "I'm not sure."

Dimitri ran over to assess the situation. "What happened?"

Byleth blinked up at him. "I don't know." He brought his free hand up to touch his opposite side, just above where the armor at his waist stopped. "While we were struggling, one of Robin's hands touched me here, and I felt a strange sensation."

"Did I hurt you?" Robin asked, eyes wide and fearful.

The mercenary's gaze softened and he patted her head. "No, no. It didn't hurt. It was just weird, for lack of a better word."
Dimitri gestured for him to go on. "Weird how?"

Byleth palpated his side. "Hmm. I don't feel anything now."

"Can I try?" Rowan asked.

"I... sure."

Rowan hopped up and set his fingers on the same spot.

The reaction was instantaneous. Byleth jerked away and made that noise again. With a start, Dimitri realized that it was a laugh.

"Professor, I think you're -"

"- You're ticklish!" Rowan finished.

Byleth frowned in confusion. "I am?"

Dimitri smirked. "It would appear so. But there's only one way to know for sure." He gave the children a meaningful look.

All of them copied his impish grin. They turned their faces to stare at the professor.

For once, they were too quick for him. In seconds, they dog-piled on top of him again, but this time, six sets of fingers attacked his unguarded sides, directly beneath his arms and across his chest. What started out as a soft snort quickly escalated into full-blown, raucous laughter. Byleth squirmed and howled, but he was rendered entirely helpless beneath the onslaught.

Dimitri was stunned. He'd never heard his professor laugh before. Granted, it wasn't all that long ago that he'd started showing more visual expressions in general. Dimitri could recall with crystal clarity the first time he'd seen Byleth genuinely smile. Every variation before then had seemed more like an approximation, something to be mirrored from others because the situation had called for it.

But that day, after his classmates had departed with the unconscious Flayn and leaving the two of them alone, he'd been startled to see the teacher radiating relief, pride, and pure and utter joy. Dimitri remembered feeling as though his heart had stopped, just for a moment. He remembered thinking at the time that he'd never seen anything so wonderful. He remembered wishing he could freeze that image, and to live in that single moment forever, safe and happy at Byleth's side.

This - here and now - was like that moment magnified a hundred fold.

He decided that the professor's laughter was now his favorite sound in the world. He didn't want it to end.

That was completely impractical of course, and it ceased with Byleth gasping, "Stop, stop! Please! No more, I beg you!"

The children reluctantly acquiesced, rolling away and leaving him panting to catch his breath, curled up and clutching his stomach...

... with empty hands.

"Looks like they've won, Professor," Dimitri said.

Still heaving, Byleth forced his eyes open to see Rowan standing at the head of the group, holding his prize triumphantly.

"You would appear to be correct." Byleth pushed himself to his feet and smiled proudly. "Though I'd hardly call it a fair win, it is a win all the same. When you come in for dinner tonight, there will be an extra treat on each of your plates."

"Yay!" the kids cheered, bouncing up and down.

"But until then, I believe you have chores to do. Run along now; clean yourselves up and report to your next teachers for your assignments."

The orphans left their equipment scattered on the ground and hurried away; a few of them paused briefly to hug him.

Dimitri approached him after they were gone. "Huh. I must say, you never cease to surprise me, Professor."

Byleth made a feeble attempt to brush away dirt and grass from his clothes. "What do you mean?"

Dimitri folded one arm over the other and cupped his chin in his hand. "All this time, you've appeared to be utterly invincible. To think that you of all people should possess such a simple weakness. I shall have to bear it in mind the next time you assign a low score to one of my assignments."

"If you think exploiting this - weakness - as you call it, will influence your grade in any capacity, you are sadly mistaken," Byleth replied, his body stiffening somewhat. "I assess everything with complete objectivity at all times. Spreading any rumors regarding my condition will not help your cause."

Dimitri chuckled and threw up his hands. "I was just teasing, Professor."

Byleth nodded and relaxed his shoulders. "I am aware of that. It was a jest in turn. You are too honorable to play such tricks. I would trust you with any of my secrets."

"I... thank you," Dimitri said, his heart warming at the words. "But I'm curious: have you truly never been tickled before? Not even as a child?"

Byleth began to collect the practice swords. "Never. But then, I am learning more and more that my upbringing has been rather unique. I have missed out on many experiences that are typical of normal children."

Dimitri noted that while there was no trace of resentment, there was a hint of wistfulness in his voice. He didn't know what to say at first, so instead he helped the professor pick up their gear and head towards the weapons storage room located behind the Knight's Hall. "Well, in any case, I'm glad you got to experience it now... and that I was here to witness it." He bowed his head, suddenly feeling shy. "I enjoyed hearing you laugh. I hope you'll do it more often."

"I could say the same of you," Byleth replied. He pushed open the storage room door with his shoulder and began putting away the swords.

Dimitri followed suit and said, "I'm sorry; I don't understand."

Byleth waited until they'd finished with their task before elaborating. Then he moved to stand directly before him. "I've learned much since becoming the professor for the Blue Lions, most importantly, what it means to care about someone. I want the very best for all of my students, not just in their studies, but also in life."

He moved closed and put a hand on Dimitri's shoulder. He looked him in the eyes. "I don't have all the details, but I know you've had a hard life. Nothing I can do will change that." He sounded truly remorseful at this admission. "Even so, one of my greatest desires is that you will find joy and contentment, today and every day going forward. And if I can help you, or be a part of that in any way, know that I will always be here."

"Professor..."

Byleth released him and stepped back. He lowered his head and shook it as though to dispel some self-imposed trance.

Dimitri could swear he saw a hint of pink on his cheeks. He fought to steady his breathing and keep from blushing himself.

'I don't think that's possible. And even if it were, it couldn't happen without you,' he wanted to say. Instead, he bowed and whispered, "Thank you again, Professor."

"Come," Byleth said. "It's almost time for lunch. Let's head to the dining hall and get something to eat." He headed towards the exit. "I may have Ashe join us if we can find him."

"Right." Dimitri followed in his wake. He clenched his hands at his sides to prevent himself from covering his ears, to silence the taunting voices screaming all the things he didn't deserve, not life or joy... and certainly not the love of Professor Byleth.

Thank you reading! Comments are greatly appreciated and help feed the author's enthusiasm to create more works!