Warnings: AU. Unbeta-ed.
As soon as she was sure Kurogasa was gone from the area, Kaoru inspected the partially revealed blade for any damage. While she took care of her sword religiously, the attack from Kurogasa was so strong, she'd felt the reverberations down her arms. Satisfied there was no sign of cracks or other faults, Kaoru slid the sword back into its saya and returned her weapon back to her obi belt.
It was then she realized her hands were shaking. It had taken everything she had to mask any sign of nerves. Kurogasa's insults helped disguise it as rage, but this was the first time she had gone up against a man of his skill level in an actual fight. She had first felt it at his presence, and the clash between them was enough to confirm her suspicions he wouldn't be as easy to defeat as the previous challengers. Fisting both hands to hide the sign of weakness, Kaoru turned to Kenshin. He hadn't stopped staring at the spot where the madman disappeared. Violet eyes glittered like hard amethysts and his body vibrated with poorly suppressed fury. "Himura-san?" she called tentatively.
At the sound of her voice, Kenshin seemed to mentally shake himself and looked over at her. The anger ebbed away, but the gentle rurouni was nowhere to be seen. "Are you all right?" he asked. His voice had gone deeper, firmer, and more demanding.
Kaoru blinked. This man was the dangerous one she had seen earlier this morning. She wondered if he was going to get angry every time someone threatened her. That would be tedious since these challenges didn't seem like they were going to end any time soon. And since when did he assign himself as her unwanted protector? "Of course I'm fine," she snapped, annoyed by her reaction to Kurogasa as much as his interference in her official duties. Irritation was a much better feeling than fear and one she could handle better. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"He saw your weakness," Kenshin replied pointedly.
The blatant disapproval in his voice made Kaoru dig her fingernails deeper into her palms in an effort to control her rising fury. First, Kurogasa insulted her saying she was 'playing swordsman', and now this rurouni seemed to think he had a say over her life. She did not have to stand here listening to his criticism of her skills and choices. Too many people had already done that in her life and she was tired of it. "Who do you think you are?" she hissed.
He blinked, taken aback by the question and maybe by the vitriol in her voice. The hard persona faded away and the rurouni was back in place, bewildered. "What?"
Marching over to him, Kaoru leaned forward until Kenshin was forced to bend backwards to prevent their heads from knocking together. She relished looming over him and causing the uneasy look in his violet eyes. "You just show up telling me what to do and how dangerous it is, and so on. I don't know if you realize this, Himura-san, but being a police officer is a dangerous job in it of itself. It's even more dangerous as the Inspector and head of the law enforcement in this chaotic, undisciplined city. I knew that when I accepted the position. I don't need some rurouni, who doesn't stay longer than one night and make his friends worry about him all the time, to tell me how to do my job. Do you understand me?"
"O-of course," Kenshin said weakly, holding his hands up in surrender. "I didn't mean to offend you, Kaoru-dono. You've proven yourself a very capable warrior. Anyone with eyes can see that."
Satisfied with the sincere sounding apology, Kaoru stepped back and let the man regain his normal posture. She would even let him get away with using her name without permission since he'd already done so. But as she turned away, Kenshin continued in a grim voice, "But Kurogasa isn't your usual opponent. I don't know how he heard of you, but there's something wrong with this situation. You shouldn't take any chances with your life."
"But it's okay to risk yours for mine?" Kaoru countered, glancing at him over her shoulder. "I don't think I'm the reckless one here, Himura-san. This is my job. You could have easily avoided getting involved, but you didn't. In fact, you've made yourself a prime target."
He remained silent so long that she thought he wasn't going to say anymore. Perhaps Kenshin finally realized the consequences of what he did, and just how exasperated she was with him. After all, she was oath bound to protect everyone within the city - even vexing, mysterious wanderers - and he was not.
But then he said quietly, "It's better this way, so no one else will get hurt."
Kaoru opened her mouth to protest and then abruptly shut it. Whatever his motivation to take on Kurogasa's challenge, Kenshin was right. This new challenger was not a man to be taken lightly. And if Kaoru was honest with herself, she wasn't sure if she could beat Kurogasa. At least, not with her current weapon.
But could Kenshin? She had actually never even seen him draw his sword. Yet Kurogasa had called him a hitokiri.
With this disturbing revelation, she now had to figure out just how dangerous Himura Kenshin was. Two years ago, in the impulses of youth and blind desire for justice, Kaoru would have simply drawn her sword and attacked him to gauge his skill. But hard-earned experience had taught her it was wiser to talk things out first. So she turned around and asked carefully, "And what about you? Are you saying you're able to defeat him?"
"You shouldn't worry about me, Kaoru-dono. You have other things to take care of."
Kaoru crossed her arms and studied Kenshin's face. His comment didn't answer her question of course, which was just like him to be infuriatingly vague about himself. In the meantime, he persisted in asking her to reveal personal information which was really none of his business. After what she learned about him from the tall stranger, if Kenshin was going to demand answers from her, she would do the same to him. "I shouldn't worry about a hitokiri, is that what you're saying?"
His eyes widened in dismay. Unlike Kurogasa, his reaction wasn't fake but all-too real. "Kaoru-dono," he began uneasily.
Her heart lurched at the confirmation and disquiet seeped into her veins, leaving her body cold. Kurogasa had been right, Kenshin wasn't just some rurouni who happened to carry a sword. Having caught a glimpse of the ruthlessness forged in the battle of having to live or die by the sword and the warning from her warrior's instinct, it was enough to guess the black hat stranger's words were true.
Was his presence some sort of karma for the mistakes she had made in her life? Retribution of sorts, to make her pay? Kaoru wasn't sure, but she knew it wasn't a mere coincidence that he had come into the city she had chosen.
"It's not who I am anymore."
Her eyes, having drifted away to think, flew back to his face. Kenshin met her gaze, looking a little hopeful, a little fierce, and very determined, if she went by his set jaw. "What?"
"As you said, Kaoru-dono, we all have a past we don't want to forget. And I think that our goals are similar: never forget so we don't make the same mistakes again. Wouldn't you agree?"
His earnestness, the complete sincerity of his voice, struck a chord inside her. Kaoru envisioned herself saying the same thing to her sensei as she wept at what she had done and what she was determined to do from then on. Were they so alike then? Perhaps meeting Kenshin wasn't about retribution at all, but about redemption.
But could she trust him? Kenshin had a past she knew nothing about, only that he apparently had enough skills for Kurogasa to want to fight him. Kaoru didn't know much about what happened to killswords after the civil war, but she suspected they couldn't - or wouldn't - let go of their occupation so easily.
And yet, Kenshin didn't seem like a bloodthirsty swordsman desiring blood to be spilled. In fact, he seemed fervent in trying to convince her of the opposite. Both Sano and Megumi were close to him, and Kaoru had come to rely on their judgment and wisdom of people.
"Yes," she finally answered softly. "I agree."
His shoulders lost some of its tension and it puzzled Kaoru that her opinion mattered so much to him. But maybe it was because he somehow knew she could understand him, understand that the past haunted a person so much that it almost blurred the present with it.
And despite not knowing him at all, she was starting to feel that awareness went both ways. After all these months of pretending to be someone she wasn't, Kaoru wanted to show her true self to the one person who seemed to have figured out her secret after meeting her just twice. She wanted to explain why she carried the sword that she did, and why she accepted the Inspector position in a city known for chasing out experienced police officers. She wanted...
A friend.
Had it been so long since she had one of those? Her entire life before moving here was all about training and reaching her goals. And when her life changed, this place was supposed to be a fresh start for her as an adult living life on her own terms. Never forget the past, but find out who she was as a police officer with goals different from her sensei and even different from her father. And with a new start should come new companions, those who saw her true self.
Kaoru met Kenshin's gaze and something in those piercing violet eyes spoke to her. Coming to a decision, she uncrossed her arms and turned around. "Let's go somewhere to talk."
Kenshin cocked his head slightly but followed her without another word as she guided them out of Deadbeat Alley and to the strolling garden where they had met earlier this morning. Neither of them spoke for the seven minute walk. They followed the moonlit trail, illuminating just enough of their path to let them see the stepping stones leading down to the pond. A small footbridge arched over the still waters that would have allowed a picturesque view of lush area had the sun been out. For now, Kaoru contented herself with seeing the outlines of trees and the shadows of nocturnal animals fleeing from their intrusive presence.
Leaning against the bridge railing, Kaoru didn't look at Kenshin as she spoke. "So you're no longer a hitokiri but a rurouni. What made you change your mind? After all, skilled warriors are still in high demand these days, and I imagine you had your share of options."
"Ah, Kaoru-dono, you don't waste time, don't you?" Kenshin replied with a smile in his voice.
She shrugged, sensing his body tense from such direct questions, the direct opposite of his tone. While her intent wasn't to embarrass or pressure him, Kaoru wanted to make sure he realized she wasn't merely asking to satisfy her curiosity. "Why prevaricate? I first need to know you're not a threat to my city and the only way to be assured of that is by getting your story."
He nodded slowly. "And will you reciprocate?"
"I will." Kaoru had thought about it on the way here and she knew she would have to share her own story if she demanded Kenshin's. He wouldn't accept anything less, and it wasn't really fair to demand answers from him if she wasn't willing to divulge her past.
"Well, then." She almost felt more than heard Kenshin inhale deeply as he settled beside her against the railing. "I was young, naive, foolish when I marched off to fight in a war my shishou called not my own. He was right, of course, but all I saw were so many people hurting with no relief in sight. There was no peace, there seemed to be no hope. I wanted to protect them with my sword, to give effort to a cause I felt deeply about."
"There's nothing wrong with that," Kaoru murmured.
"Perhaps, but Shishou's point was there were plenty of ways to go about it without getting involved in politics. I committed to a side who then used me to further their own goals. Even worse, I chose a way that led to bloodshed and pain for so many, all in the name of peace. Not just for the victims killed by my sword, but also for me." He sighed, the exhaled breath soft with regret. "When I finally understood Shishou's words, I decided I couldn't stop because it was already too late, and I had given my word to stay until the war was over. So I fought on, but with more cynicism and a hardened mindset." He moved his hand and Kaoru glanced over in time to see him touch his left cheek. "These scars are just a physical reminder of wounds buried deep in the heart that people can't see."
Kaoru knew exactly what he meant, even if she didn't have a visible scar on her face. "I sense a story behind those marks," she said carefully.
Kenshin remained silent for a long while before he spoke again. "Yes. But for another time."
She acknowledged that with a nod of her head, accepting the fact it was a sensitive subject and untouchable for the moment. Or perhaps forever since she had no right to ask him about the obviously painful memories.
"In any case, four years of constant fighting and trying to survive and numbing myself from the bloodshed turned me into a man I didn't like very much. So when the majority of the fighting was over and my particular skills were no longer required, I decided to leave it all behind." Kenshin shrugged and Kaoru wondered just how much he'd struggled to remain so nonchalant about the entire subject. Yet his voice had lost much of its inflection and he spoke in a flat, remote tone. She realized he was a man still tormented by his past, though his words made it sound completely bland.
Oddly enough, that helped Kaoru come to the conclusion that Himura Kenshin was probably not a threat to anyone except himself. "How long have you been wandering?" she asked.
He didn't even have to think of the answer. "Ten years and ten months."
"That's a long time," Kaoru commented lightly, amazed at his guilt and drive to keep going on for so long.
"And yet, it doesn't quite seem long enough."
The wistfulness in his voice struck a chord in her and she wondered if he was wandering or running. "Do you see it as penance? Being a rurouni, I mean."
Kenshin nodded. "Yes. I know I'm making a difference helping those during my travels, choosing to help those who need it. I've found freedom in helping anyone and everyone, without being tied to anyone or any entity. This was what my shishou was trying to tell me, but I didn't listen. I now have to carry with me the burden of once being a hitokiri." He sighed and tilted his head up to study the moon. The pale beams shone over his face, giving him an odd, ethereal glow. "And with all the lives that I've taken, how many more years do I have left to repent?"
She cast him a quick glance, hearing something in his voice that sounded off. Kenshin seemed to be acting as if he didn't have much time to live which seemed odd, given his youthful looks. "How old are you?" she asked, uncaring if it was blunt or not.
Raising his brows in surprise, he replied easily. "Twenty-eight. And you?"
"Old enough," she sniffed, though inwardly she was reeling from shock. He wasn't as young as she initially thought, but it still didn't mean he was at death's door. Kenshin seemed to have layers upon layers of secrets, and Kaoru wondered if she would ever get all the answers she was looking for. She knew without a doubt that he had glossed over much of the details, but maybe he would share more with her later when there was more time.
And to think that Kenshin had also fought in the war since he was … kami, had he really been only fourteen when he joined the fight? He must have been a prodigy to be considered a hitokiri at such a young age. What did that do to a man who spent his tender years as a killer, being ordered to slay people? No wonder Kenshin wandered so far and so long from his friends.
Kaoru dropped her gaze down to stare at the railing of the bridge. She felt better about knowing Kenshin's past and why Kurogasa was so interested in fighting him. A part of her understood the desire to test one's skills against another, but only to a point.
They remained silent, lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Kenshin turned to her and smiled, his discomfort gone. "And you, Kaoru-dono? I have a feeling your story is much more interesting than mine."
Kaoru sighed and fingered the hilt of her sword, comforted by the familiar grip. She knew it would come down to this. Only the fact that he shared first helped her to start but it still didn't make it easier for her to talk about her past. "I don't know about that, but here goes." She took in a deep breath and let it out in a whoosh before starting. "I come from a long line of samurai, on both sides of my family." She felt Kenshin's eyes on her, listening intently. Kaoru's fingers tightened on the tsuka. "My parents met and I was told it was a fiery love story for the ages. But despite their devotion to each other, they had different philosophies in life. My mother had the traditional outlook on the life of a swordsman. She was trained to kill and did so for the causes she supported.
"But my father, on the other hand, realized early on that the sword caused deeper damage than just to the enemy. It killed sons and daughters, mothers and fathers, children, friends, loved ones. Everyone around them is affected by the death." Kaoru fell silent as she thought on that, felt guilt and shame tugging her heart every time her memories drifted back to the past. "So he decided to create a style that was the complete opposite of what the sword was meant for, a ryu that revitalizes life and protects it." She suddenly turned to look at Kenshin. "What do you think about that?"
He didn't shy away from her searching gaze, though he did take some time to think before responding. "It sounds like an ideal that is difficult to achieve, but it doesn't mean we shouldn't try."
That was a good way to put it, and Kaoru wondered if Kenshin really meant it or if he was just saying something to be polite and diplomatic. He was probably reading her like an open book, so he would have seen his answer was important to her.
Only time would tell. For now, she would go back to her story and then gauge his reaction. He wasn't the only one who could make informed guesses on how a person reacted.
Kaoru went back to leaning on her elbows on the side of the bridge. "My parents married and had me shortly thereafter. My father continued creating his ryu and attracted a lot of local apprentices. As I grew older, it seemed like my mother was coming around to my father's way of thinking more and more. She saw how much good it produced in the students and the shift in attitude in our village. People began to appreciate life and value it, instead of throwing it away for pride or revenge."
"Your father must be an influential and respected figure," Kenshin said softly.
She nodded. "He is. Occasionally my mother would help out with classes and I would watch them with pride, knowing they were working together to bring to life something never before seen. My father has said more than once that Kamiya Ryoko was the greatest female swordsman ever and without her help, he would never have been able to accomplish his dream.
"I believed him. My mother was beautiful and amazing and full of life and love. But I'd never actually seen her fight. Except once." Kaoru paused and felt the telltale signs of a sudden lump starting to clog her throat. But she forced herself to continue on because she couldn't stop now. "That one time I did was the day she died."
Neither of them said anything for a long while, and a creature plopped into the water to escape a predator, sending out a ripple of a small wave in the pond. It was late enough that only the slightest rustling of a nocturnal animal near by disturbed them. Kaoru listened, wondering if it was a fox or a weasel; both had been sighted in the area, looking for food.
But she had to go on with the story so she did. "Bandits attacked us on the road on our way home from town. My mother managed to shove me somewhere safe, and she defended us with her sword. She moved like a dancer, weaving in and out of the attacks. Every time her sword flashed, blood followed. It was hypnotic. I couldn't look away, no matter how much I wanted to."
Kenshin finally spoke, his voice low, gravely, and filled with compassion. "How old were you?"
"Six. I was six. That was the last memory of my mother, desperately trying to protect me. But there were too many of them and only one of her, and in the end, someone cut her down from behind." Kaoru paused, blinking back the tears that blurred her vision. "A handful of bandits survived. I would have died too, if someone hadn't appeared on the road just then and chased them off. He rescued me and took me to my father.
"My father grieved my mother's death so intensely that sometimes there didn't seem to be room for anything else. He might have forgotten me completely had it not been for kenjutsu. He threw himself into finishing the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu and wanted me to learn it, calling it my mother's legacy."
Here, Kaoru paused again, aware that her heart slowly increased in cadence. Her mouth felt dry so it was harder to talk, but she forced herself to. Kenshin didn't move or say anything. He simply waited, and that made it easier to share her story. She hadn't told anyone this before, so Kaoru took the time to formulate the right words before she soldiered on.
"But despite my father's desire, I was furious. I wanted those bandits to feel pain like my mother did, to understand how they tore my family apart. I begged my father, a good swordsman in his own right, to find them and bring my mother a measure of justice. The idea of not hunting and killing those monsters who took her away from us was utterly contemptible. He refused, saying it wasn't what she would have wanted. I disagreed, and decided that I had to take matters into my own hands."
"So you sought out Saitou Hajime?"
Surprised, Kaoru glanced at Kenshin. "How did you-?" She stopped, then shrugged. "Well, I suppose it's not really a secret. Saitou Hajime was my mother's sempai. They had studied under the same teacher for years and they were quite close. My mother spoke of him fondly and I always wondered if they would have gotten married if she hadn't met my father and Saitou-sensei hadn't left to join the police department." Kaoru exhaled slowly before continuing. "I went to find him because I knew he would understand my pain. He'd heard about what had happened and he didn't seem surprised to see me, which I realized much later. It only took a little bit of coaxing to get him to agree to teach me."
Kenshin continued to watch her, no evidence of judgment or disapproval. Kaoru somehow knew that he wouldn't have reacted that way. Shrugging again, she turned back to the pond and looked down at the glimmering water, seeing a dark shadow of some fish gliding by. "Saitou-sensei found an eager pupil in me. I absorbed everything he taught me and trained and trained until all that was left inside me was rage and the ability to kill someone twenty different ways in ten different positions."
"But the reality of killing someone is not as easy as it is in theory."
"Exactly." Kaoru wanted to look at him, to ask how he knew, but she didn't. The feeling of kinship merely deepened and she realized that somehow, her instincts recognized this man had gone through the same exact baptism of fire.
"When he deemed me ready, I joined as a police deputy under Saitou-sensei. It was easy at first, enforcing the law and keeping the peace. And then we heard of a gang that was willing to murder anyone for money and for their own amusement, even unarmed women and children. I was especially eager to meet them, to test out my skills, to be seen as a defender to the helpless. My partner and I approached the area and confronted them. Blood doesn't make me nervous, I was inured from it when I was six." Kaoru stared down at her hands, seeing crimson liquid that stained them. "But for me to take my sword and plunge it into a living, breathing body, that was different. Even just to defend myself, it seemed wrong, almost sacrilegious. I killed someone, and under my bloodied blade, I literally felt the life spirit leave his body. I thought the stains would never disappear from that one kill." Kaoru let out a little desperate laugh. "My partner had to protect me from the gang until backup arrived because I just stopped fighting.
"Saitou-sensei was not pleased, to put it mildly. He wanted me to get over it and put me back on patrol immediately. We argued, a lot. But I couldn't go back right away and took a leave of absence. " Kaoru sighed. "So in the end, I failed both him and my parents. Sensei told me I was a fool and he regretted taking me under his wing. My father was incredibly hurt and upset that I refused to finish my study of the Kasshin ryu. He saw it as a betrayal of my mother and cast me out."
"So what did you do?" Kenshin asked softly.
Kaoru smiled faintly, trying to keep her tone light. The hard part was over now, and it felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders in light of Kenshin's understanding and compassion. "I meditated a lot. I visited my mother's grave a few times. Went to a lot of temples to pray. I traveled for a bit, but the idea of wandering never appealed to me. What good would it do to run away from the past?"
"What good indeed?" Kenshin murmured.
Too late, she realized she had inadvertently insulted the man. "That's not to say being a rurouni isn't good," Kaoru said hastily.
But he only smiled and waved it off. "You found a way to live in peace. Your spirit isn't chaotic at all."
She laughed ruefully. "It took a long time to realize and accept but the idea of using the sword to protect appeals to me. Now that I know how easy it is to take a life and you can't undo death, I realized why my mother eventually changed her philosophy. My father had said that becoming a mother was the final piece that led to her conversion. She wanted to be known as a protector and nurturer, not a killer. I eventually requested a transfer here to start over, to be an officer of peace and one that wouldn't kill. I also began practicing the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu again. And I suppose I finally felt … whole."
Kenshin nodded towards the sword at her obi. "And that?"
"It was my mother's. The stranger who rescued me also brought it along as a remembrance token of her. My father refused to let me have it and tried to make sure I'd never be able to use a live blade. But when I left to train under Saitou-sensei, I took it with me. And now I use it as a deterrent for crime." Kaoru shrugged again, touching the tsuka absently. "It's silly, of course, but I feel closer to my mother when I have it with me."
"It isn't silly at all," he replied softly.
They lapsed into silence again, and Kaoru wondered how long she had been talking. She hadn't told him everything, of course, because there was no need to air out all her family secrets. She didn't add that her father and Saitou despised each other: Saitou blamed Kamiya Koshijirou for not protecting Ryoko and her father couldn't forgive the Inspector General for teaching his daughter how to kill. Pain stabbed her heart whenever it struck her that she couldn't go back to the only two homes she had, and she had nothing and no one left. The only thing Kaoru could cling onto was the fact that her mother deemed her worth to live on, so she would do her best to carry her mother's ideals in the world, no matter how hard it was.
"Thank you for entrusting me with your story," Kenshin finally said. "I see now how you became so strong."
A part of her felt relieved at his pronouncement, that she hadn't made a mistake in telling him everything. Even though she developed a good relationship with Sano and Megumi, this was different because Kenshin understood where she came from and why she was doing what she did. Kaoru hadn't felt so accepted in a long time.
So despite Kenshin's plan to face the black hat stranger alone, she couldn't let him do it. It was her job to keep order and people safe, not his. "This still isn't your fight. You don't have to meet him."
Lifting his head up to the heavens, he contemplated the night sky before murmuring, "I think it would be best if you concentrated on protecting the people in the city. With your sword, it would be almost impossible to defeat Kurogasa."
Protest rose sharply within her at his last comment but Kaoru knew he was right. Still, she couldn't let him take responsibility for this. "I can't allow you to kill him when I can't," she said in a low voice.
Kenshin shot her a surprised look, but then it melted into an understanding smile. "Ah, I see." He turned his entire body to face her and pulled the sword and saya from his belt. The night air swallowed the soft 'schick' as he unsheathed his sword halfway. Kenshin turned it slightly to allow the metal to catch the moonlight. "Does this ease your mind?"
At first, Kaoru thought her eyes were playing tricks on her and she peered at the katana from various different angles. When it still remained the same, her gaze flew to meet Kenshin's knowing eyes. "The blade is ... backwards!"
He nodded and let it fall back into its saya, tucking the sword back into his belt. "Yes. It's a sakabatou."
"You. W-why," Kaoru stammered as she tried to make sense of what he showed her. She had never seen such a weapon before, and it was inconceivable to think that a hitokiri would deign to carry such a thing.
But he had denied being a hitokiri any longer, and the reverse-blade sword was further proof. Getting hit by the blunt side would be painful under a skilled swordsman, but it wouldn't kill anyone. Was this yet another way for Kenshin to atone for his past?
"It seems as though we have more in common than we initially thought."
Kenshin turned back so his profile faced her and Kaoru couldn't stop staring at him. She heard a hint of satisfaction in that comment and didn't know what to make of it. "I-I suppose so," Kaoru said slowly.
"Of course, I wasn't as intelligent enough to learn from my first kill as you did," he continued, his voice turning wistful. "So as much as I'd like to think we're very similar, I'm afraid there are also some very large differences between us."
She couldn't deny that but Kenshin seemed so full of melancholy that she wanted to protest. "Maybe we can focus on our identical philosophies of today rather than the mistakes of the past," she told him softly.
He slid his gaze to her face, searching for something eluding him. Then he smiled.
It was that smile, so full of hope and longing, that undid her and allowed Kaoru to trust him and work together for a common goal. "Come on, we'll go back to my office. I can get someone to find out more information about this Kurogasa person. We can also talk strategy, maybe set a trap."
The smile faded and Kenshin shook his head. "That wouldn't be wise. I don't intend to let anyone else get close enough, or they may get hurt. I'll face him alone. "
Kaoru, having already turned to go, stared over her shoulder at him for a long moment, sensing something heavy beneath those words. "You - you're not sure even you can win, are you?"
"You noticed yourself that Kurogasa is not your average outlaw. He calls himself a hitokiri, which I believe. He is extremely dangerous, and he has gotten that way because he's killed so many." Kenshin's gaze seemed to drift into his memories, but he continued to speak. "His bloodlust has given him abilities far beyond the norm. I'm not sure anyone short of another hitokiri can win against him."
The soft pronouncement stunned Kaoru. For some reason, she had assumed Kenshin would fight and win against him.
"But I'll do the best I can," Kenshin said, giving her that empty rurouni smile she was beginning to despise. It was such a contrast from the previous smile. "And if the worst happens, I'll leave the rest to you. I'll meet him away from the city, as agreed, so no civilians will be in danger. Your time would be better spent making sure none of the citizens venture near the path to the shrine for the next day or two. I'll be counting on you to do that, Inspector." And before Kaoru could say anything else, he disappeared.
Kaoru's mouth dropped open as she witnessed, for the second time in one day, the preternatural speed of the so-called wanderer. She scanned the area for any sign of him but there was none. It was as if he suddenly blinked out of existence.
And then it struck her, like a hard punch to the gut. If Kenshin really couldn't defeat Kurogasa, they were all in danger.
Racing against time to research this new threat and find out more about him and despite Kenshin's advice, Kaoru abandoned her patrol duties and headed straight for the office. No one had mentioned an actual date and time for the fight - typical men! - so she had to be prepared as quickly as possible.
Her first act was to reshuffle the patrol schedule for a heavier presence on the eastern side of the city. With a skeleton crew of deputies, they would have to take double shifts to ensure a strong police presence and continual protection. This would end up blowing her budget for the year, but it couldn't be helped, not with this threat. If she was killed and Kurogasa wasn't satisfied to stop there, her deputies wouldn't be able to stand up to him. But she had to give the people every chance to survive.
Her second act was to have the east gate closed until further notice. Despite her orders that it be done for safety reasons, Kaoru knew people were still going to protest. That was the least favorite part of her job, dealing with citizen complaints.
But she didn't have the time to care about future grumblings that were going to happen anyway. Kenshin had told her to look after the people and she would take every precaution necessary. Better to go overboard and stay safe than have senseless bloodshed on her hands.
With that done, Kaoru dashed off a note and found the on-duty deputy stationed at the office to deliver it to Sano's place. Perhaps the fighter had heard of this Kurogasa person and could shed some light on him. It hadn't taken long for Kaoru to realize that Sanosuke was extremely observant, though he chose to avoid calling attention to it.
Come to think of it, she had been relying on Sano a lot more lately. The fighter was a veritable fountain of information on people and events. Any time she needed information, he would share it, or find a way to get what she needed. Kaoru was convinced Sano had more contacts and friends than a politician. And whenever he happened to show up in the middle of a situation, the lanky man managed to calm everyone down with his easy going demeanor and latent strength. Everyone in the city, even visitors, seemed to know him and avoided getting on his bad side.
If she could, Kaoru would hire him as a deputy in an instant but she knew the Council would never approve it. Between Sano's police record and his unorthodox methods, he would never fit the traditional mold of a dignified officer.
Kaoru forced her attention back to the usual work at her desk, including deciding what to do with the four prisoners currently sitting in her cells. She worked fervently for a few hours, trying to clear her desk so she could concentrate on Kurogasa, when Okon called out from beyond the shouji and opened it.
The faint scent of hot jasmine tea hit Kaoru as she realized she hadn't had anything to eat since the evening before, after staying up all night. And on the heels of that thought, a wave of exhaustion rolled over her. Her concentration had been so great she hadn't realized it was already dawn, the sun peeking through the branches of the maple tree in the garden.
"Kaoru-san, you're going to fall ill if you don't rest," Okon scolded her, placing the tray next to her for easy access. She poured her some tea. "It looks like you never even went home!"
"I didn't," she admitted, reaching for the cup and gulping down most of the scalding hot liquid. Relishing the heat that warmed her from the inside, Kaoru picked up the onigiri to nibble on it.
"Was Deadbeat Alley that busy?" the secretary asked with some surprise.
"Not busy, but definitely eventful." Abandoning all pretense of manners as her stomach gurgled in protest at her slow pace, Kaoru took a big bite of the rice ball and chewed furiously before washing it down with another swallow of tea. Once her mouth was clear, she continued, "There's an imminent threat nearby, and we'll need to take appropriate actions. I've already written out my orders. Make sure all the deputies see a copy of the new schedule as well. There's no exceptions; if they're not bleeding profusely, I expect everyone to attend their shifts on time."
Okon's eyebrows snapped up and she glanced at Kaoru's desk where all the paperwork waited. "I'll do that, of course. But what's going on? Are we in danger?" It was odd to hear the note of anxiety in her normally unflappable assistant.
But then again, it probably startled Okon to hear that Kaoru was taking unprecedented steps like closing a gate and working her deputies so hard.
Kaoru finished the second onigiri and, for the millionth time, went over the entire scene with Kurogasa again in her head. Her conclusion remained the same and she met Okon's eyes. "Let's just say it's better to be safe than sorry."
Okon cleared the tea tray quickly and Kaoru decided she had to go home and wash her face and change her clothes. She didn't know if there would be any other time until this whole situation ended, so she took twenty minutes to do just that. Glancing in the mirror, Kaoru was horrified but not surprised to see her face pinched with worry and red eyes drooping with exhaustion. Well, there wasn't much she could do about that since sleeping wasn't an option at the moment. She was proven right; when she arrived back at the office to continue her work, Okon stopped her.
"The Council requested your presence. They said it was urgent and they want to see you immediately."
Kaoru bit back a groan. She didn't have the time to deal with overinflated, stuffy politicians who complained much more than helped. They hadn't appreciated her being over an hour late for yesterday's meeting either, never mind that she had a good reason. But it was much easier to get things done with their support so Kaoru turned and dragged herself over to the Council Tower. The faster she met with them and appeased their egos, the faster she could go back to dealing with actual threats.
The Council Tower was actually a part of the government building, spiraling up and above the city so it could be seen even miles away. If ever the stone tower fell, according to the local superstitions, Japan would fall. Kaoru, being an outsider, considered it a city conceit. The tower itself was old and unimpressive, other than being well-built.
The newer part of the government complex, built around the tower, housed the bureaucrats who ran the day-to-day operations of the city: approving permits, deciding what to do with tax money, meeting the magistrates who decided the fates of any arrested persons, and so on. People scurried around as if busy, murmuring to one another in low voices, or speaking with citizens who had business with officials.
Nodding to the workers, some of whom she recognized from previous visits, Kaoru entered the building and she climbed the stairs to the meeting chamber at the top of the tower without her usual briskness. The door was already open, showing off the wide, circular room. Instead of wood or even stone, polished marble adorned the floors until it shone and reflected distorted reflections of anyone looking down. Three wall-sized windows allowed the bright sunshine to stream in, warming the air to a comfortable temperature. Colorful woven tapestries and drawings covered the stone walls, making it seem more like a rich man's study rather than the humble area of hard-working politicians. The three-person Council members were waiting for her with grim expressions. Kaoru stopped just a few feet from them and faced the men who had hired her not even six months ago. Their interactions had initially been cordial but now they couldn't be bothered to hide their impatience.
"Inspector, what is this we hear about you closing the east gate?" Tani Jusanro spoke first. Like the other two members, he was round and soft, with the self-satisfied look of wealth and power. Although he never said anything overtly critical, his body language spoke of disdain. Kaoru was actually quite impressed that he managed to convey his feelings about her without ever speaking a word of it.
"And where is your haori?" Senbonya Yohei demanded, eyeing her figure with a curl of distaste. "This distinguished chamber demands your utmost respect, Inspector. Or do you believe you're above that?"
Kaoru hid her clenched fists behind her back while she offered them a bow just low enough to convey respect for their position - but not an inch more. "Council members, you called me in the middle of an emergency situation. Surely you've received my report and understand that I haven't had time to go fetch an article of clothing when there's a killer on the loose."
The final member, Takuma Hashizume, waved a piece of paper around. "You mean this Kurogasa fellow who did nothing except verbally threaten you and some rurouni? You're closing the east gate just for this?"
"We've received nearly two dozen complaints already," Tani put in. "How long do expect to have it closed?"
"Until this situation is resolved, sirs," Kaoru said firmly. She made sure her voice was modulated to be even and steady, but every accusation they threw at her made it harder and harder to keep her composure. "I would not have taken this step if I didn't think it was best for the safety of our citizens."
Senbonya grunted in displeasure. "And what of our economy? The time it takes for goods to be rerouted to another gate in the city is will slow down trading and affect everyone from the street vendor to the wealthiest entrepreneur. You're a simple fighter, Inspector, but to us businessmen, time is money."
"Respectfully, sir, I would think taking an extra ten minutes to find another entrance is a small price to pay if it means their saving their life."
Kaoru didn't know how, but she retained her patience as the three men continued their grievances over her actions. Her calm, rational answers seemed to displease the men which didn't make any sense, but they finally let her go after the promise of revisiting issue tomorrow morning. As city officials, they had the authority to override her decisions, but it would make them look bad, and they knew it.
So she escaped them with a deep breath of relief, and hurried back to her office, anxious to see what updates there were. Her meeting with the Council had lasted nearly two hours and Kaoru wanted to scream from the wasted time.
But Okon had nothing new to report other than her orders were carried out, albeit with some grumbling. Kaoru breathed a sigh of relief at the current quiet and took a moment to order her thoughts. "Any response from Sanosuke?" she asked hopefully.
"None," the secretary replied. "Let me get you some actual food while you're still here."
"Thanks, Okon-san." Kaoru turned to head into her office, but then paused as a sudden thought flitted through her mind. She put a hand on the familiar hilt at her waist and bit her lip. "Actually, I'm going to stop by home again. I forgot something, but it won't take me long to get it." Without waiting for an answer, Kaoru turned and headed back to her rented room with brisk footsteps, before she could change her mind.
Her home was a tiny single room situated at the far end of the row house for some relative privacy. Kaoru had chosen it because it was cheap and she knew she wasn't going to spend too much time there except to sleep if she had a few hours. It was normally quiet during the day since most other occupants were working at this hour. The room contained only her futon, a sword stand, and a chest containing all of her personal belongings she brought with her to the city. In the stillness, Kaoru felt her heartbeat thudding louder as she knelt in front of the storage box. She pulled out her sheathed sword and set it next to her. Unlocking and opening the trunk lid, Kaoru reached down, past the layers of neatly folded clothing, until her fingers hit something hard.
She breathed in deeply and then exhaled, feeling the blood rush faster and her body heat up as if she was in danger. Moisture began forming into beads on her forehead and she swallowed hard to force a sudden lump in her throat to go away. Her hand curled around the object and she pulled it out.
Shimmying back a few feet, Kaoru laid the katana down and stared at it as if she had never seen it before. The saya was nothing remarkable, just a plain black scabbard. The tsuba was more ornate, with delicate curled designs that, at the right angle, looked like a wolf's mouth gaping open to snap its jaws over the victim. The tsuka, or hilt of the sword was new, as if untouched by human hands. It looked exactly as it had when she packed it away months ago.
It looked quite similar to the one a few feet away, but Kaoru knew there was a large difference on the inside.
Her hand hovered over the weapon in an attempt to force herself to touch it. If Kenshin got to Kurogasa first as he intended and failed, it would be up to her to finish the battle. She would need a true sword. One that would make someone bleed. One that could kill.
Biting down her lip until Kaoru tasted the metallic tang of blood, she fixed a glare on the innocuous looking object. Her hand inched down until it hovered just above the katana with the intent to grasp it and place it at her waist. She had to. It was for a good reason, a true cause. The lives of innocent people were at stake. Take it! she mentally scolded herself. Kaoru felt a growing pressure in her chest like a weight grinding into her until her lungs seized with fear and choked her breath. Her heart pounded until she thought it would burst in her chest and her palms shook with sweaty dread. It shouldn't be this hard. Her father wouldn't understand but Saitou-sensei would approve. Just reach down and put it your belt!
What would her mother say?
On the heels of that thought, her hand refused to close in on the last three inches of distance. Gasping for air, Kaoru threw herself backwards and away from the sword. Her chest heaved but the band of pressure slowly dissipated and she gave up. She couldn't do it after all. Perhaps she was as foolish as her master so bluntly informed her. Tears gathered in her eyes but she dashed them away with her hand, refusing to let them fall.
After several deep breaths, aware that time ticked away without a care for her jumbled emotions and her chaotic thoughts, Kaoru crawled back to the katana and placed it carefully back in the chest. It was easy to touch when intending to tuck it out of sight. She buried it deep until it hit the bottom of the trunk, under her spare clothes. Slamming the lid shut, she picked up the weapon Kenshin had called useless and threaded it back to her belt.
The rurouni wasn't wrong. It was a useless weapon. But it would have to do in carrying her through this trial, or she would die clinging onto her beliefs.
AN: So this chapter took way too long to rewrite/edit and I'm still not completely happy with it, but I know I can't sit on it forever. There was also a lot of talking and not much action, but that'll change in the next update. Let me know what you think, I love all the speculations and ideas you guys have!
Next Chapter: The imminent fight