Sanctuary

It's kinda funny.

I'm so used to picking up your calls.

I find myself staring at the screen, lately.

Even though I know the call won't come.

Who am I kidding?

It's not funny at all.

But I laugh anyway.

Chapter Twenty Two - Ashes

It was Beat, not Neku, who grabbed Joshua by his collar and shoved him against the railing that surrounded the roof's perimeter. "You knew Shiki was goin' to go and didn't tell us?" There was a distinct expression of fury on Beat's face.

"Beat," said Rhyme gently, putting a hand on top of his arm, "I'm sure Joshua was just being considerate of Shiki's wishes. If she didn't tell us herself, I don't think she would have wanted Joshua to tell us." She looked up at Joshua who didn't even look fazed about the hold Beat had on him. "Am I right?"

"On target as usual, dear." He managed to nod at her and then tugged at Beat's arms. "Let me down."

Beat grit his teeth but he let go of Joshua, proceeding to kick the bar behind him, causing a metallic clang to ring out. "Why didn't she tell us, then?"

Adjusting his clothes, Joshua gave the reply, "If we're talking about Shiki, then she must have wanted to spend her last days with us without having to hear us mourn her before she even left. I could sense that her Soul was slipping but I couldn't figure out why. Other Joshua didn't tell me anything either. My theory is that the last battle exhausted her Soul too much. Souls, too, expire naturally after a while and that's without exertion. Hence why the Reapers extended their existence by attaching all of themselves to one Soul."

"Couldn't we have done something?" Beat said. "Can't we bring her back, yo?"

"She's gone Beat," said Neku, finally speaking, his voice hollow. His grip on his phone, tightened. Yes, if she was coming back - if she was going to call again - she would have done so by now.

"Phones…"

He flipped open his phone and checked through his contacts to the number that he saved under 'Shiki'. The number that would never answer when he tried to call it. Maybe he should delete it…it reminded him too much of her. It wasn't like he would need it anymore.

The screen popped up: 'Are you sure you want to delete this contact?'

"You don't need to do that, Neku," said Joshua, kneeling besides the boy and taking the phone out of his hand. "That number probably still resonates with you. An echo of her Soul. A Pact as strong as yours wouldn't end without leaving any traces. The number might disappear on its own eventually, but for now you should be grateful that it's still there."

"Like footsteps in the sand," said Rhyme, quietly.

"Then, how long until those footsteps get washed away?" Neku asked.

He waited for Joshua to give him some sort of off-hand remark but Joshua closed the phone and handed it back to Neku. "I really don't know."

If Joshua was treating him like this, he must be able to read Neku well. Yeah, Neku wouldn't react even if Joshua did give him any crap. He wasn't angry or frustrated – he was just…empty. There was an empty space where Shiki's Soul used to be. He just wished that…they could have had a better goodbye than that.

"…Where do you think she's buried?" he asked them, throwing all of them off, by the looks of their faces.

Beat looked horrified at the thought of having to go and visit her grave.

Rhyme gave the question more thought, "If she lived in Shibuya, she would be buried in one of the local cemeteries."

"Assuming she's even buried. They could have cremated her, in which case we would be looking for the place her ashes are kept. Either way, the best option would be to look for her parents if we want to pay our last respects," said Joshua.

"I don't know her family name," said Neku, thinking about how many things he still didn't know about Shiki. "Forget I even asked." He stood up, taking his untouched bento with him. "I'm going."

"Phones, wait, we can't just not try and find Shiki."

"Let him be, Beat," said Joshua from behind him as Neku went ahead. "He needs time."

xxxxx

Time. How much time would it take for the gap she left to be filled? It had been over two weeks now since that rooftop conversation. He had been going through the motions of his daily life, trying to act as normal as he could be. But it was hard. What was normal, anyway? Before Shiki, normal would have been putting his headphones on and ignoring everyone.

He didn't want that anymore, though. Shiki wouldn't want me to do that either.

He had been trying his best to cope with her loss. He took Nimew out frequently, worked the hardest he ever had during soccer practice and he hung out with Joshua, Beat and Rhyme otherwise. All of that with a smile on his face; a smile that took some effort to produce but a smile nonetheless.

"Don't you think Master's a bit…out of it?" he heard Shooter say at one practice.

"You crazy? His plays are the best they've ever been!"

"Well, yeah they're awesome but like…I dunno. It's like something's missing."

Beat told them to shut up and continue on their training drills.

"Sakuraba, I still have a bone to pick with you over Mina!" said Ai on another day. "You're going over to her class right now to apologise!"

"…Okay."

"Don't give me those excuses, you need to – huh? 'Okay'?" She lowered her voice, "Are you alright?"

"My, my, aren't we one to stick our noses into other people's affairs?"

"Like you're one to talk, Yoshiya-kun! Don't think I didn't realise that you and Beat were watching Mina's confession too!" Ai proceeded to turn her attention to Joshua instead of Neku.

His friends kept the others off his back– they too, after all, were feeling the effects of Shiki's missing presence.

Hanekoma, however, having not known who Shiki even was or that she was gone, must have thought that Neku had gotten into some sort of trouble. This was what brought Neku to his office, this afternoon, he surmised.

"What's been putting you down, Neku?" his uncle asked him, peering at Neku from behind his shades. "You haven't been yourself. Or at least, you haven't come around to the office for a while now." He folded his arms on his desk and leaned forward. "Did something happen?"

"…" Something? Yeah, there were a lot of things but it wasn't 'something' that he wanted to discuss with Hanekoma.

"Ah, never mind. You don't want an old man like me prodding about in your business, do ya?" Neku could tell that Hanekoma was saying this lightly, but he still felt bad for causing his uncle to be concerned about him.

He tried to put it in words in the simplest form that he could. "My friend…she went away and she's not coming back."

"You miss her?"

"Yeah…" he admitted. That's not even the half of it.

"…I'm guessing that you can't contact her? Can't email her? Or call her?"

Unknowingly, Hanekoma just sent a jab through Neku's chest. "No," he barely managed. "I can't call her."

His eyes were trained on Neku for a moment before he pointed upwards. "She up there?"

"Yes, she's d-" Dead. Neku swallowed, the words caught in his throat. He couldn't even say the word.

"I see…" said Hanekoma. He wasn't going to ask him for details, Neku knew. Even if he didn't understand the situation, his uncle had enough tact to not talk too much around the subject. "It's hard when you lose someone. When your parents died I didn't know what to do with myself. I cried a lot, I tell ya."

Shiki cried when she left.

"Neku, I don't want to sound presumptuous, but I get the feeling that you've been bottling your feelings too much," he said, "Even if I haven't seen you lately, I think that's the type of person you are. You haven't cried yet, have you?"

No, of course he hadn't cried. He was the one who told Shiki not to, though she did anyway. If he cried he would just worry his friends even more.

"You don't have to force yourself to be strong."

"I'm not – " And before he knew it, Neku was crying.

When was the last time he had ever cried? He couldn't remember. He was too emotionally exhausted to feel embarrassed, so he let the tears fall silently, his tightened fists digging into his seat. Hanekoma took the action to look out the window while Neku cried.

Yes, his uncle was right. Neku knew he shouldn't, but sometimes when people talked to him, he wanted nothing more but to scream at them. To tell them to go away or to tell him what he should do - it was a contradiction; maybe he just wanted to scream. Sometimes even at Joshua, Beat and Rhyme too – but how could he when they've done so much for him?

They had gone through so much with him and Shiki but he also knew that they had not been affected as much as he had.

He didn't know how long he had spent there but when he had finally finished, he wordlessly accepted his uncle's offer of tissues. "There ya go. Feel any better?"

Strangely enough, he did feel a bit better. "Yeah…Sorry…about that."

"Don't apologise," said Hanekoma. "Ya know how I said not to 'force' yourself to be strong? It's 'cause you already are."

Neku stood up, finished with wiping his eyes and hoping that he looked mostly the same as before he came into the office. "Thank you, Uncle H…for always being there."

"It's what I'm here for, kid."

With a quick short bow, Neku excused himself and headed towards the lift. Someone was already going down and held the doors open as he entered in. It took him a second before he recognised the person as the girl who he had seen in the recording studio all those weeks ago. She had red headphones on and seemed to be mouthing words to a song.

When the doors opened there was an instant shout.

"And here's Hype-chan! The up and coming superstar!"

…

"Coco?"

"Ne-kun?"

The two stepped out and the girl besides him took off her headphones. "Hello, Coco. I didn't know you already arrived." The girl covered her mouth. "Oh!You called me by my stage name. Hype-chan…it really does sound good."

So Hanekoma had gone along with his suggestion. "Hey," he greeted her.

"Hi!" said Coco. "I didn't know you knew her." She linked an arm around Hype on the 'her' as if to emphasise it.

"I don't really know her that well," he said with a shrug. "We're just in the same office sometimes, like just now. You two friends?"

"Yep. She's our class rep." Oh yeah, I've seen both of them wear the Shibu High uniform. As well as that guy…

"By 'our' do you mean Kazmaru's too?" he questioned. "How's he doing?"

"Oh! Yes, he's in our class." She seemed surprised that Neku brought him up. "H-he's getting better. He's getting discharged from the hospital sometime next week. I'm sure he'll be happy to get out of the hospital room – he doesn't really like them much. Not that they're bad or anything! The one he has is actually pretty nice…he's on the top floor and the rooms are all named really cutely to make it feel homier."

He supposed she was getting off topic because she wasn't sure how much to say to Neku about Kazemaru.

"We're actually going over to the hospital right now," she continued. "Hype-chan's coming to talk about some of the arrangements for classwork he's missed." So, if he would be able to do work, Kazemaru must be recovering decently enough. "Anyway, how's Shiki? Is she on the line?"

"…"

"I think this guy's ill too," said Hype, speaking suddenly. "He seems to be giving off the same symptoms as Kazemaru-kun."

Coco let out a soft gasp as she seemed to realise what had happened. "Oh…Ne-kun…" Her eyes had widened and she looked sincerely saddened by the news.

"...You shouldn't keep Kazemaru waiting." It was his way of telling her that he would be okay. Eventually.

"Ah…that's right…We'll be taking our leave then." She and Hype turned to leave but she had one more thing to say, "But um…I know you probably won't need to but if you do, you can always call me if you want to talk. Take care, Ne-kun."

As he watched her leave to visit Kazemaru, Neku found his thoughts visiting him as well. If losing one Pact had caused him this much pain, he wondered how Kazemaru could live with the loss of so many more.

xxxxx

Neku didn't think he would be standing in front of the fountain again. Yet, here he was. He was flipping a coin that he had taken out of his pocket. This is stupid… Sure, his wishes had been granted here before but that was because of some help from Joshua, and he wouldn't be able to help this time.

Still…it was worth a shot.

I wish that I could be with Shiki again. He flipped the coin into the fountain and it sank down unceremoniously.

Nothing happened.

It wasn't like I was expecting anything to but…

"Shiki…"

"…Shiki, I wish you were here."

Huh?

Did he just hear another voice? It sounded like a girl's, like it came from the other side of the fountain. There did seem to be another person opposite of him, but the top part of the fountain blocked his view. He edged around to the right to get a better look.

There was a girl there. She had several coins in her hand and was chucking them into the fountain one by one, talking to herself.

…That girl…hey…!

"It's not fair… I wish I hadn't left Shibuya."

Judging from her appearance…she must be…

"Shiki, I don't know what I'm supposed to do without you."

She said 'Shiki'!

"Hey," said Neku cautiously, though it still made the girl jump and almost drop her coins.

"Hi. You scared me there for a second. I didn't realise there was anyone else around," she looked at him curiously. "Did you need a coin?"

"No. I was just wondering…is your name…Eri?" It had to be her. Shiki had described her best friend as a girl with the brightest of pink hair and a sense of fashion that would put models to shame. The girl before him certainly had pink hair. Neku wasn't exactly sure how to gauge a good fashion sense, as according to Shiki, he didn't have one, but the girl did look like she had an outfit on that Neku would see on a display mannequin if he walked passed 104. Those two facts would not have been enough for him to conclude that this was Eri, but the girl had said Shiki's name.

"Yes – wait, how did you know that?" Eri's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "I don't know you. Are you a stalker?"

"No!" This is ironic. "I…I thought I heard you say 'Shiki'. She's my friend and she's talked about you before."

"What's your name?"

"Neku Sakuraba," he answered, though there was no point in telling her that.

"She's never mentioned someone like you before." She didn't have the chance to. "Are you really friends with Shiki?"

"Yes."

"What's her last name, then?"

She just had to ask that. "I don't know."

"You don't know her last name?"

"I don't…she didn't tell me." More like she couldn't.

He could tell that Eri was getting more and more suspicious of him by the second.

"Look, the way me and Shiki met…it's complicated. She couldn't have told you about me, but I'm her friend."

The girl regarded him for a second, studying him, before saying, "If we're talking about the same Shiki, what's she like?"

He didn't know everything – he didn't pretend to know everything about Shiki. But they had spent hours over weeks talking to each other and she told him all that she could about herself. They had discussed her dreams together, he remembered. All those dreams that had now been burnt to ashes, because she had gone before she could fulfill them.

When he got to the story she told him about how Eri had lost Mr. Mew she stopped him and he realised that she was blinking rapidly, presumably trying to hold back tears. "I hadn't even remembered that…that was so long ago…Shiki." She took a breath, composing herself. "I'm sorry about how I acted just now. I've been on edge when the topic about her comes around."

"It's okay…Look, can we talk for a bit?"

Eri agreed and they settled on one of the benches by the fountain.

"I…I wanted to ask if you could tell me her family name."

"It's Misaki," she said, unhesitatingly.

"Misaki…" The way Eri had said it was familiar while to Neku this was new. A new part of Shiki.

"I don't know why she didn't tell me about you, but somehow I feel glad," said Eri. "I didn't think I'd find someone here that knows Shiki so well. I was really worried about her when I left. She always said she would be fine but there wasn't anyone she was as close to her as I was. I wish she had told me about you."

"She did mention that you left," he said. "Where did you go to?"

"We moved to Kyoto," she said. "Dad had a job transfer so…We're in Shibuya this week, though, so I thought…"Her voice trailed off.

"Phones, wait, we can't just not try and find Shiki." …Right. This was his chance…

"Eri, have you…visited her, yet?"

"If you mean today, then no."

"Then…if you're going to now, can I come with you?"

Eri gave him a half smile. "Of course you can."

He let her lead the way; they didn't talk much, he didn't know what else to say to her. Here he was, thinking that he had been the one that had been hurt the most by her departure but he wasn't so sure anymore. Eri had known her so much longer than he had…On his part, though, he and Shiki's feelings had been directly connected and that was something only they shared. Is there any point trying to compare? No, it would not be fair to either of them.

"We should…buy her some flowers." It was a thought that had occurred to him.

His companion nodded and they headed towards the nearest flower shop.

It was closed.

The girl frowned. "Where else can we get them?"

"Oh…" He thought back about the last time he bought flowers. "There's a flower shop at the Shibuya General Hospital."

When they arrived, he let her pick the flowers, realising that he didn't know what Shiki would want. Roses apparently, were her preferred choice in a bouquet. Neku should have guessed - Shiki was such a romantic.

He felt some sort of fear come over him as Eri gave them to him. He stared at them, the feeling growing.

No, I'm not backing out of this. Seeing her grave would give him a painful taste of reality, but he needed this or he would never get any closure.

What was he going to say to her?

I wish I knew you before you died. I wish we had more time together – there are still so many things I wanted to see with you. Thank you, Shiki, for everything. For being one of the reasons that I'm not alone anymore. I won't forget you –

Neku blinked. He had been so engrossed in his thoughts about what he wanted to say that he hadn't been aware of where Eri was taking them. He only noticed, when they had exited the lift, that they weren't heading back towards the exit.

He grabbed Eri's arm just as she was about to open the door to a room.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you mean? This is Shiki's room."

"Shiki's…room…" He repeated. Shiki's room.

She opened the door and he numbly walked in after her.

There she was.

Shiki Misaki.

Lying on a bed, looking thinner than he had ever seen her and was connected to an IV drip along with a heart monitor. She was still, but she was breathing.

"I…"

"I know…I hate seeing her like this but…woah-" Eri caught Neku by the arm as he was about to stumble forward. "Hey, are you alright?"

"Shiki…"

"You look like you've just seen a ghost," said Eri. "It's a shock when you see it for the first time but at least she's alive, right?"

Alive. Breathing. Here.

"She's…alive," he choked out, his heart clenching. "She's…she's actually alive."

"Of course she's alive! What are you -? Oh! Oh God! Don't tell me you thought she was dead?"

He nodded very slowly, eyes never leaving Shiki, as if taking his eyes off her would mean that she would disappear again.

"No, no, God no! She needed some stitches for her head and she's been in a coma since April, but she's still alive!" Eri explained frantically. "If she had already died…I don't…I would have…"

Her voice trailed off; taking the flowers out of his hands, she placed them in the vase that was on the bedside table. Neku stood up and carefully walked over to Shiki.

"I'll wait outside," said Eri, seemingly able to read the mood.

The door shut softly.

The steady beeping of the heart monitor was all Neku could hear. And all Neku could see was Shiki's closed eyes.

All his goodbyes were dispelled at that moment and new thoughts flew in. Why is she still unconscious? Why was she a Spirit if she's alive? Is her Soul here with her, now? Did Joshua know about this?...Joshua!

He flipped open his phone and dialled Joshua. "Why, hello Neku. How lovely of you to call at this –"

"Shiki's alive!" he all but shouted.

He heard a loud noise – it sounded like Joshua dropped his phone. "Excuse me, I think I misheard you just now."

"No, you didn't. Shiki's alive. I'm with her."

"You mean her Pact's returned?"

"No, I mean she's alive. She's in a coma, but she's alive. I'm at the Shibuya General Hospital and I'm with her."

"…Mr. Kitaniji…the hospital...now…yes…please. Neku, I'm on my way. I'll call Beat and Rhyme and pick them up."

"Yes…ask for Shiki Misaki at the counter."

"Right. We'll see you soon."

Flipping it shut, he held it tightly as he moved to sit down by Shiki. He had never felt so much relief in his entire life – it felt like a wave have crashed over him. He chanced a glance away from her when he noticed a small black item that was by her the bedside table. There it was, in all its glory – Mr. Mew, leaning against the vase Eri had put the roses in. Even Mr. Mew made it. Her signature glasses were placed on the table too.

He looked down at Shiki again. She will wake up, right? She had to. She couldn't just leave him like that and not come back.

In sleep, she looked peaceful, with not the slightest of clues about how Neku was feeling at that moment. Who's the sleeping beauty now, huh?

He took her hand into his, squeezing it gently. He would visit her every day from now on. As many times as it would take until she woke up. Even if it took months –

What the heck? The phone in his other hand had started to heat up. It flipped open on its own accord and it showed him his contact list. Shiki's number – it's deleting itself!

Before he could really register what he should do, it was gone. What does that mean - ?

The hand that he was holding moved. The heartbeat monitor had an ever so subtle increase in frequency.

"Shiki…"he breathed as slowly, but surely, her eyes opened.

He almost laughed out loud. Perhaps that fountain really could grant wishes.

She rubbed her eyes, not without effort – her limbs must still be weak from lack of use. Neku reached out to get her glasses, though he didn't let go of her hand. It was a tangle and he must have looked silly but he didn't care. He somehow managed to put them on her face and she blinked several times when he did. She looked around the room and her eyes showed that she was drinking it all in.

"Thank God you're back, Shiki," he said, unable to contain his smile. "I really thought you were gone, for a while there."

Shiki opened her mouth to speak when the door opened and Eri walked in, "Neku, I hope you don't mind if I come in now – Shiki!" She ran over an enveloped her in a hug from the side. "Shiki…I can't believe it. You're awake."

"Eri…" she said, her voice coming out hoarse due to lack of use. "Judging from this room, I must have caused you to worry a lot."

"You sure did!" said Eri. She turned and gave Neku a wide smile. "You must be her lucky charm, or something. I've been trying to get her to wake up for ages."

"'Or something' is probably right," he gave Shiki's hand another soft squeeze.

To his surprise, she pulled her hand away from his.

"Shiki?"

She stared down at her hand for a moment and then looked back up at Neku.

"Um...I'm sorry but…who are you?"

Tadaa! Wow, you guys really loved (or hated) the last chapter xD I think I had the greatest number of reviews for that one…and I got some from new-reviewers as well, which is always a plus. :'D Anyway, this chapter was really fun to write.

Reaction Guide: 'Neku angst ;-; - Go for the coma route – it's Mr. H! (more angst) – go for the coma route- omg Hype and Coco knew each other? – go for the coma route – ERI WHAT – go for the coma route, you can do it – guys we're at the hospital – go for the – SHE WENT WITH THE COMA ROUTE YEAHH…SHE'S AWAKE WOOT! CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES COME O– 'who are you' 'WHO. ARE. YOU?' – Dina, we are so done with you.'

If you knew me well you would know that I would of course go for the coma route. Perhaps the 'she's actually dead' route might have made it a better fic but I can't deal with tragic endings and I would not have been happy with this fic if I didn't go for the coma route.

If you're, again, asking why this update is on a Monday - I'm on holiday now so I can :D Yay.

xxxxx

Thank you for the faves/follows: Aviantei, lnsane, A Paper Flower and HolyKnightmare

And thank you to all you awesome reviewers who did splendidly last chapter, I must say: ElementLegend, Xerzo LotCN, B.A.G-GOMEZ, Faliara, Michael Mario, RagnartheSemiGreen, Chronic Guardian, ShadowK47, Alice and The Mad Hatter, Reilie (I did indeed go with the coma route!), lnsane, salamancachristopher, I'll Break Your Heart, Airhead259, MySweetYaoi49, Omega Zekrom, HalcyonLife

Primo:... Hussh. Language, child. I'm only kidding, as this is T rated you're allowed to swear in the reviews. (I think? xD). Okay I don't mean to enjoy you guys suffering. Calling it 'being proud of evoking emotion' would be more adequate (and make me sound less of a sadist. That being said, I left you with another happy-not-happy ending this chapter. Whoops.

Jt: Thank you so much :D Emotions ftw.

YOLO: Oh gosh, thank you so much :'D I'll try my best to do that!

And that's a wrap! :D The end is near...mwahahaha.

- Dina (16/12/2013)

Chapter Twenty Three – Sanctuary

You don't know how happy I am that Shiki is back.

"Happy Birthday, Shiki!"

Forget Kyoto, I'll come back to visit whenever I can!

"Where to, next?"

Neku, take good care of Shiki, you hear!

"I know this song!"

Wait – unless she doesn't remember you because you're actually a stalker!

(You know a fic is ending when the fic title is the chapter title).