In your fourth year, Oliver Wood becomes captain of the quidditch team. He's a good captain all things considered, a little enthusiastic to be sure and definitely tough but he means well. He tries to keep everyone in good spirits before games with rousing speeches saying things like 'We're going to go out there and show Ravenclaw that the best man always wins.'
Lexa always rolls her eyes and amends his speech to be inclusive of the women on the team. The season goes quite well all things considered until you play Slytherin. It's a tough match as it always is because of the bitter rivalry between your houses about twenty minutes in nobody has scored at all and the play has devolved into something just shy of fistfights midair. The weather isn't helping matters as you are playing in what feels like a hurricane. Icy rain is ruining your visibility and the wind is making accurate passes nearly impossible.
Finally Raven gets a break away streaking down the pitch towards the Slytherin goal, you follow and are in perfect position so when she has to swerve to avoid a bludger she drops you the quaffle. You speed ahead and pull back to hurl the ball at the hoop when suddenly you aren't flying forwards anymore. You are being flung over backwards in a loop and barely managing to hold tight to your broom to not fall off.
Marcus Flint from the Slytherin team had grabbed you by the braid and thrown you into a cartwheel midair.
Madame Hooch is there with a whistle and your penalty shot is an easy goal. When play resumes you watch Lexa fly angrily at Flint. The quaffle is nowhere near either of them and she doesn't seem to care as she shoulders him- hard. He glares at her and shoulders her back. This continues all the way for a full lap of the pitch, their shouldering growing more and more violent until a particularly hard one from Lexa causes Marcus to slip a little on his broom.
She's much taller than that first match where she was hardly a speck on her broom, but she's still nowhere near the bulky frame of the Slytherin captain and you would be afraid for her if you weren't positive she could curse his pants off.
He glares at her and yells something you can't make out. She yells back and they both streak to the muddy ground, dismounting their brooms and launching at each other the second they're on solid ground. Madame Hooch is too preoccupied by the match to notice at first.
It is only after both players have gotten in a few good shots that she blows her whistle and lands to pry them apart. She sends them back into the air with stern warnings.
In the next fifteen minutes Wood gets taken out by a bludger, the Slytherins score three times, Lexa's broom gets struck by lightning and catches fire, and Harry catches the snitch.
The hospital wing is full of muddy players that evening. Wood is the worst off with a few broken ribs from the bludger, Lexa keeps insisting she's fine even though she plowed rather hard into the ground after her broom caught fire- her worst injuries seem to be from her fist fight as she has quite the nice shiner growing over her left eye, and your neck keeps twinging from when you were thrown by the hair.
Lexa manages to talk her way out of spending the night in the hospital wing. After wishing you a goodnight with one of her damn thin smiles and a lingering squeeze of your shoulder, she escapes from Madame Pomfrey's clutches. You stay partially because you grew close to the nurse over your Mumblemumps episodes last year and partially because she keeps throwing around terms like hyperextended vertebrate and dislocated upper spinal nodes all of which are enough to intimidate you into taking a night off of charms homework.
The next morning you wake up feeling one hundred percent and you're released with a warning to take it light for the next week. You don't see Lexa until that evening when you settle in the common room to do some work. She climbs through the portrait hole with her book bag over her shoulder and her face brightens upon seeing you. She makes her way over to her usual armchair beside your table and drops her bag, "So you've made a full recovery?" She asks with that thin smile playing across her sharp features.
"Clean bill of health." You smile back.
Lexa is leaning on the table, dangerously close to where you're seated and is just opening her mouth to reply when another voice echoes across the room.
"Clarke! There you are!" It's Finn. He's in Lexa's year and he's been flirting with you for the last two years, ignoring all attempts you've made to rebuke him.
He comes to stand beside Lexa, not noticing the dangerous glare she's shooting him, "I was worried about you after that match. Brutal team Slytherin." He remarks, he rummages through his pocket for a moment before producing a chocolate frog and sliding it across the table to you, "I got this for you, there's nothing chocolate can't fix." He smiles.
You can't help but smile because as much as you aren't interested in him, he really is a nice guy and the chocolate was thoughtful, "Thanks Finn, that's really sweet." You say and immediately regret the words because even though he's beaming like he's won something, Lexa has swept from the common room her lips twisted into something a lot like disappointment. You try to call out for her to stay, that she's left her book bag beside your feet, but she is gone.
You stay, trapped by Finn for a brief conversation and by the time you manage to escape you know she could be anywhere in the castle and it's nearly past curfew but you go after her anyway. You have to.
You walk quickly through the halls, checking empty classrooms, careful to avoid prefects or Fitch. You peek into the courtyards and every hidden place you can think she might have gotten off to, you are about to call it a night and admit defeat when you take a quick turn to avoid a Hufflepuff prefect.
You dodge into a hidden staircase and spin around to be confronted with a sight that twists your stomach.
You've finally found Lexa, and she's pressing a fifth year from Ravenclaw up against the stone wall. They're joined at the lips and one of Lexa's hands is out of sight beneath the Ravenclaw's robes. They don't spring apart when they realize you're there, rather the Ravenclaw giggles a bit, a blush rising on her cheeks with a soft 'oh', clearly embarrassed at being caught like this. Lexa merely stares at you, this scary blank expression on her face. She isn't surprised or ashamed she betrays no emotion and simply looks at you almost bored as if to say 'see what you've made me do?'
You don't say anything. Just back out of the secret stairway and let the tapestry fall back into place between you and her. You turn on your heel and stride quickly from the scene. It isn't until you've made it two floors up that you realize you're not on the proper side of the castle to be headed back to the Gryffindor tower, and you're crying.
You hear footsteps approach and you duck into a niche in the wall but you are not quick enough and an illuminated wand tip is shining light onto the tears tracking down your cheeks and Professor Snape is looking at you with a mix of disappointment and pity written across his face.
"It's past hours for students to be out of bed." He says, formal as always.
"I know." You reply thickly.
"And yet you are." He questions leadingly.
Before you can stop yourself, you feel the damn break within you and what was at first small tears are full sobs followed by ragged gasps of breath, "I was just trying to find her- to apologize because she was so hurt- but I couldn't find her- but then I did- and she was with her." You manage to get out between your tears and Snape is looking at you like you've grown a second head and you wonder if he's ever had a student cry to him rather than cry because of him.
He recovers quickly enough and gestures toward the stairs just down the corridor, "Have a seat Ms. Griffin before you hyperventilate and pass out."
You drop heavily into the stone, wiping your nose on your sleeve and he sits gingerly beside you leaving a wide gap but conjuring a handkerchief from thin air and handing it to you.
"Thanks." You mop up your tears and try to get a handle on your breathing.
He doesn't push you to talk which you are quite grateful for. You're not sure if it's because he knows how to handle and emotional teenage girl or because he's afraid of setting you off again if he asks the wrong thing.
When your tears subside and you aren't hiccuping for breath, you chance a sidelong glance at him. He is scowling at a painting on the floor below, but he must feel your eyes on him because his gaze flicks to you moments later, "Ready to explain yourself?" He prods.
You take a deep breath and try again, "There's this person I like and I think they like me too but then tonight in the common room they got the wrong idea and walked out. I wanted to apologize and explain so I tried to find he-they but when I did, they were snogging someone else, and I just feel so silly for thinking sh-they could like me." You rush out.
You catch yourself a few times just before using an incriminating pronoun because red eyed on the steps in the middle of the night was not how you planned on coming out to someone for the very first time. But you know he must connect the dots from your first rushed explanation to this one because he doesn't say anything for a moment but understanding colors his hard features.
"I'm sorry." You finally say breaking the silence, "I shouldn't have been out of bed and I shouldn't have bothered you with such a silly problem."
You hand him back the handkerchief and stand. You think he will let you leave without another word and you get three steps before he says in a voice so soft you almost miss the words, "Unrequited love, Ms. Griffin can be one of the most painful things in our world. But it will get better. Give it time, you're young you will get over her eventually."
"Thank you."
You take a couple more steps before his voice catches you again. This time loud and commanding like you're used to hearing it, "I'll be taking ten points from Gryffindor for your late night wanderings."
You nod and hide a smile because at least he hasn't given you detention. You hurry back to the common room and when you return to gather your things before going to bed you see that Lexa's bag has disappeared from where it was on the floor beside your chair.
The next day in practice you both astutely pretend that nothing has happened and that everything is normal. And somehow after a few weeks you don't have to pretend anymore. You don't glare at the Ravenclaw when you pass in the hallways, she's far too kind, always shooting you a small smile- bedsides, she hasn't done anything to deserve your wrath.
It takes a little time but eventually you manage to look at Lexa again without seeing that blank expression she wore that night.
You take simple pleasure in the kind of friends you are able to become with her again. The kind of friends that hold hands when walking through hogsmeade and borrow quills without asking. The kind of friends that rub each others shoulders or massage each other's scalps if they notice the other is getting too stressed with homework. The kind of friends you were before that night.
You don't quite get over her, she will always be the small girl with the soft-rough hands but maybe this can be enough.
A/N- So that happened. Thanks for reading/ reviewing. Keep that up!