Author's Note:
Ok, so I suck. It was never my intention to abandon this story. Two babies back to back followed by a full-time job in an accounting firm while raising aforementioned babies and running my husband's company all got in the way. Over ten years later and life has finally begun to slow down.
I don't expect many of you to still be following this story, but I need to finish it. Muffin'sback, I tried to PM you after your review of "Rebuilding The Heart" but FanFiction wouldn't let me. Thank you for your support and loyalty. You truly rock. I do have the rest of this story mapped out and Chapters 8 and 9 are already partially written, so the updates should be fairly regular (every two weeks roughly).
Let's see how much writing I can cram in before those babies become teenagers. ;D
Chapter 7
A harsh beam of sunlight cut a path across Pansy's face, slowly rousing her from the first sound bit of sleep she'd had all night. Her dreams had been chilling to say the least. She was lost in what she could only presume was the Forbidden Forest with the sound of a baby's cries relentlessly ringing in her ears. Panic stricken, she had frantically searched for the child before it was too late.
To compound her terror, she and the baby were being hunted by a vicious beast. She only ever saw its dark, snarling form in her periphery, clawing its way passed her hiding spot in the brush. When the monster came too close to where she sensed the child was stowed, she'd try to distract it and then run desperately for her life as it descended upon her. Several times, she'd woken gasping and in tears moments before the animal took her down. She would try to calm herself and fall back into sleep only to restart the nightmare all over again.
"Good morning, Mrs. Weasley," a far too chipper voice sounded from across the room.
"Bugger off," she growled, grabbing her pillow and rolling onto her stomach in a bid to cocoon herself from the happy harpy.
"And what a ray of sunshine you are," the voice chirped back at her.
Pansy flopped angrily onto her back, sat up and huffed through a curtain of her hair, "Watch it, you gorgon! I can still have you replaced, you conniving, husband-stealing shrew."
Healer Wood's eyes momentarily went wide, then an amused smirk spread over her lips and she chuckled despite herself. "That's a good one, Panse."
"What is your penchant with using my first name? You do not have my permission to address me as such," Pansy spouted off with an air of absolute pretension, leaning back against her pillows and regally pushing the hair from her face.
The other woman's smile faltered, and she glanced down in retrospect and something far too close to disappointment for Pansy's liking. Giving her head a small shake, Healer Wood heaved a sigh and with a frown marring her otherwise clear countenance, set to reviewing her charts.
"How was your sleep?" Healer Wood continued on monotonously, attempting to move passed the simmering hostility.
"Terrible if you must know," Pansy admitted, fussing with her bedsheets like a petulant child.
This drew the healer's eyes to her. "How so?"
Pansy heaved a deep breath and deliberated briefly on whether or not she could trust the woman. "Had night terrors. Haven't had dreams like that since I was a child," she finally confided reluctantly.
Uninvited, the healer sat on the bedside and gave her such a galling look of sympathy. "You mean after your mother died," she supplied gently.
Pansy's eyes grew large and in a sudden fit, she threw off the blankets and climbed out of bed incensed. "Who the hell do you think you are? And how, in Merlin's name, do you know that?" she ground out, seething.
Healer Wood could only stare at her with wide, gormless eyes, opening and closing her mouth wordlessly unable to utter a word let alone provide an answer.
"Why did you accept this position?" Pansy demanded when it appeared no response was forthcoming.
"I… I requested it," Healer Wood answered plainly.
"Why? To be closer to my husband?" Pansy accused, insinuating the worst. "Am I a convenient cover for your elicit affair?"
"Oh Pansy, come off it. I came to take care of you," the other woman insisted, clearly unimpressed by what Pansy was implying.
"Why? I don't know you from Adam. What am I to you?" Pansy drilled her mercilessly.
The woman looked down at her clasped hands, torn by how best to explain then a look of resolve settled heavily in her eyes.
"My name is Healer Penelope Wood," she stated matter of fact. "Percy and I are old friends. We dated briefly at Hogwarts, but it didn't work out. He was a ridiculously pompous, insufferable stuffed shirt back then. You've made him into such a good man, Panse. I married Oliver Wood."
Pansy stumbled back a bit, hit hard by the implications. "You… is my daughter named after you?"
"Yes," Penelope answered simply.
"By my husband I presume?" Pansy fairly spat out, wondering briefly what a blind ninny she must have grown into.
"By you actually," Penelope corrected, self righteous indignation making her posture rigid.
"And why on earth would I do that?"
"It's complicated," she provided vaguely, some of her bravado leaving her.
"Try me," Pansy shot back undeterred.
"You had a very difficult pregnancy with little Penny. There was a time you and Percy thought you might lose the baby. You ended up going into labour prematurely when you were only around six months with her. That's when Percy rushed you into St. Mungos. The bobbett arrived but she was so tiny. Then to make matters worse, you developed Eclampsia right after delivering her."
"Pardon?" Pansy interjected, confused by the medical jargon. "What exactly is that?"
"You started to have seizures. Your medi-witch had failed to recognize you had Pre-eclampsia in your prenatal check-ups. It was one of the main reasons the pregnancy was such a nightmare. We were able to stabilize you and little Penny, and after some time you were both cleared to return home. I'd like to say that was where your problems ended, but you developed something called post partum depression once you were released. Blamed yourself for little Pen's fragile condition. I was sent as your attendant to care for you both and monitor you. That, I can say in all honesty, was a struggle. You did not want me here."
"Nothing's changed," Pansy snarked back, folding her arms over her chest. "Percy implied you saved my life. What did he mean by that? I suppose you were the one who diagnosed my illnesses," she sniffed at her dismissively.
"No, not exactly," Penelope offered hesitantly, before standing and moving to her tray of various potions. "I… After a couple difficult weeks, I finally made you talk to me. About your childhood and losing your mother and those nightmares. About blaming your father for not letting you say goodbye to her while she was alive. About your arranged marriage with Draco Malfoy and your unorthodox courtship with Percy. To be fair, I came into the assignment expecting to dislike you intensely. You were a spoiled princess who had my friend wrapped around your little finger. I can honestly say you are one of my best friends now and there was no way in hell I was going to let anyone else muck up your care."
Penelope had grown glassy eyed, and in a bid to clear her vision, scoped about as if setting to work. Pansy turned and staggered away to blindly stare out of the window. It was a lot to take in. How does one simply forget their best friend? She'd never had a close female confidant before. Milicent Bulstrode didn't count because they were forever in an unspoken competition of one-upmanship. For some reason, Pansy felt the loss of her shared history with this woman deeply.
Penelope cleared her throat, trying to draw Pansy's attention. "Mrs. Weasley, why don't we get you ready for the day? I can check your vitals and you can tell me about these dreams and how they made you feel. You can also ask me anything and I'll honestly tell you what I know. For what it's worth, I promise I won't tell Percy if you don't want me to."
Pansy turned to regard her, then contemplating her options, slowly made her way to the dressing table and sat. "Pansy," she mumbled.
"Excuse me?" Penelope stammered.
"Please call me Pansy," she repeated. "I'm not really comfortable with that other name. Not sure if I ever will be."
"Only if you call me Penelope. Feels utterly ridiculous when you of all people call me Healer Wood," she rejoined through a shudder and an oddly goofy chuckle.
Pansy had to force down the urge to laugh, pressing her lips firmly together at the other woman's comical expression. Despite her best efforts, Pansy felt herself growing fond of the overly blunt, outspoken witch.
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"Good morning, my pixies!" Penelope announced, as she entered the dining room while Pansy hung back in the shadows of the archway.
"Auntie Penny!" Miranda shouted gleefully and launched herself out of her chair for a bear hug while Robby reached with strained arms and wriggled to free himself from his highchair.
Pansy watched on in morbid fascination, as her apparent children greeted her Healer as if she were family, reinforcing Penelope's claims of a close kinship to her. Suddenly, she felt small arms encircle her waist and a warmth press into her side. She glanced down to find her middle child hugging her tightly and smiling a thin, yet content grin up at her.
"Good morning, mummy!" Penny offered. "It is so good to see you."
Pansy's right hand naturally fell to cup the back of her daughter's head and the other arm wrapped around her.
"Good morning, sunshine. Your hair looks lovely," she offered back and was gifted with a toothy smile that made Pansy's chest ache.
"Mira did it for me," Penny offered with pride.
"That was very nice of her," Pansy concurred.
Without warning, utter pandemonium ensued. The sound of dishes shattering on the floor and a loud squeal pierced Pansy's ears. She looked up sharply to find her youngest throwing the mother of all tantrums and Tibby, her sweet house elf, looking beyond upset and vanishing the debris.
"Sweet Merlin, what in the world is going on?" Pansy burst.
"Tibby is sorry, Mistress. Little Master spotted you in the doorway and is beside himself with joy… and impatience," the little elf reported from a low bow.
It is an odd thing when your house elf is the only being in your home you fully remember. Pansy gave Penny a small squeeze then released her and moved toward the ongoing chaos. Upon arriving, however, Pansy dropped to her knees in front of a fretting Tibby and engulfed the house elf in a massive hug. The room fell silent and Pansy pulled away to regard her old servant who appeared stunned.
"Mistress?" Tibby squeaked in question.
"Sorry Tibby. It's just nice to see a familiar face," Pansy apologized abashedly, before standing to regard her son who was nearly ready to combust. As she lifted him from the confines of his highchair and placed him on her hip, she glanced about to find Penelope, Penny and Miranda looking at her as though she'd grown a second head.
"Mum, why did you just hug Tibby?" Miranda asked, a hint of hurt in her voice.
Becoming self conscious, Pansy cleared her throat and took a seat at the table, shifting Robby onto her lap.
"I've known Tibby since I was a child. She's been with my family for…" but Pansy stopped herself, realizing belatedly her children may feel slighted if they thought she valued her house elf over them. Blinking hard, she wasn't sure how to finish that sentence.
Miranda's eyes softened in understanding. "She's the only one you recognize here, isn't she?" the child asked softly.
"Yes, something like that," Pansy confirmed awkwardly, not quite able to meet her daughter's discerning gaze.
"How was your sleep, mummy?" Penny asked, inquisitive to the last.
Pansy's eyes darted to Penelope and the healer gave her head an almost imperceptible shake. "It was alright," she lied smoothly, before diverting the conversation. "Where's your father?"
"He's gone for his morning run," Miranda responded, her brow furrowing at her mother's lack of awareness.
"Beg pardon, his what?" Pansy asked perplexed.
"Daddy likes to go running for fun every morning," Penny supplied evenly.
"Really?" Pansy was truly confounded by the notion. Why would a wizard choose to run when he could arrive so much faster by apparating? "What an odd duck," she blurted out without thinking.
A spurt of giggles broke through Miranda's lips, drawing Pansy's eyes to her. The child's demeanor had completely tempered, and she was gazing at Pansy with something like affection.
"How was you're your shopping trip to Diagon Alley?" Pansy asked casually, doing her utmost to keep the resentment she felt at being excluded out of her voice.
"Alright I guess," Miranda answered quietly, her posture visibly deflating.
Pansy instantly felt alarm bells sound in her head. Something was off. "Did you find everything you needed?" she inquired further.
"Not quite," Miranda answered sullenly. "I didn't get a wand. Aunt Ginny said…"
"What did your Aunt Ginny say?" Pansy quipped coolly, her hackles going up.
"Well, she said that your wand only chooses you when you're ready. And since Daddy nor you were there, I likely didn't feel confident enough. She thinks I'll have much better luck if you're with me. Uncle Blaise thinks we women are all just barmy," Miranda finished off lightly.
Pansy began to sputter. "Ginny Weasley and Blaise Zabini?" Pansy managed in disbelief, looking to Penelope for confirmation.
"Like I said, you and Percy hooking up caused a whole mad chain of events," Penelope retorted before taking an exaggerated sip of her tea, causing Pansy to laugh deeply.
Unbeknownst to Pansy, her children watched on feeling an overwhelming sense of relief. Their mother as they knew her was not completely gone.
"How about we go some time this week?" Pansy offered, still calming herself from her fit of laughter.
"Can Daddy come too?" Miranda asked brightly, hope igniting in her eyes.
"I'll talk to him," Pansy reassured, but the seeds of uncertainty took root as she still felt unequal to communicating with the man.
Miranda beamed at her and then began to chatter happily with Penny. Pansy glanced about the table, watching everyone talk and joke over their breakfasts. It was so foreign to her, yet her insides were nearly humming with an addictive energy. If this was her life, no wonder she was so content. Her only bone of contention was Weasley. She still couldn't quite reconcile to the fact that she had debased herself so much by marrying a rodent, regardless of how well off he appeared to be.
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Pansy sat on the bed waiting as patiently as her frazzled nerves would allow her. She could hear the incessant thrum of the shower inciting unwelcome visions of Weasley naked and lathered in soap. Her heart began to race as an unsettling fantasy began to take on dimension in her mind's eye. She forced out the breath she was holding and stood, opting to pace the room to escape the repulsive yet somehow alluring images. She was so distracted she missed the water turning off and moments later the door to the washroom swung open. Unaware of anyone else in the room, Percy walked out with only a towel in his hands in the process of drying his hair.
"Sweet mother of Circe," Pansy breathed out heavily, as she took in the man before her who was entirely in the buff. She turned abruptly, averting her eyes but not before his physique was indelibly burned into her brain.
Percy screamed at the sound of her voice and immediately brought the towel down to cover his lower extremities. "Merlin, Pansy! What, the devil, are you doing in here? How did you find this room?" he grunted, trying to wrap himself in the small, insufficient towel.
"Tibby brought me. I needed to speak to you," she offered by way of explanation, staring determinedly at any focal point but him.
She shook her head, trying to clear away the image of him completely nude from her mind but failing miserably. She cursed that the reality of his body was disturbingly much better than her previous fantasy.
"I'm sorry, but I just don't have time this morning, Pansy," he huffed, as he moved passed her to the walk-in closet. "I have a meeting in less than an hour to discuss expansion plans and it's imperative I prepare."
It wasn't a complete lie. He did have a meeting, but it was mostly just a progress report with Robert Parkinson and his assistant, Hugh. After Percy had taken what he felt was gross advantage of Pansy the night before in the study, he had wrestled with his own conscience and decided he needed to put up some mental barriers between them for both of their sake.
Pansy tried her utmost to not watch him enter the closet, but her self-control was almost nonexistent and her eyes were immediately drawn to his taut backside. Percy quickly came back out, sporting a pair of boxers with the rest of his attire in hand and Pansy felt her ability to focus evade her once again. Sweet Merlin, he truly was fit under those robes.
"Would you just listen, you troll," she barked, more out of aggravation with herself for being sidetracked from her objective. "I had a terrible night's sleep last night and Healer Wood made some suggestions that we think may help. I need a favour from you," Pansy managed.
"So now she's Healer Wood and not 'the strumpet'?" Percy shot back as he pulled on his trousers, deflecting from his own feelings of self consciousness and guilt.
"Just shut it, Weasel, and let me finish," she ground out.
"Wow, when you say it like that I can't wait to be of service," Percy bit out sharply.
"You know what? Never mind. I'll figure this out on my own," Pansy grumbled through the quickly forming lump in her throat and turned to head for the door.
"Damn it," he muttered to himself. "No, Pansy. Wait! What is it?" he sighed, grabbing hold of her arm and turning her to face him.
Pansy spun on the spot, determined to rip him a new one for even deeming to touch her, but was pulled up short when she came face to face… or rather face to nicely defined chest and lean, sinewy arms. She whimpered lightly then took an awkward step back, unable to meet his eyes.
Pansy shook out her hands to release her anxiety and drew a steeling breath, squeezing her eyes closed at the nauseating request she was about to make. "Could you please move back into our bedroom?"
Percy stilled and eyed her in disbelief. "Excuse me? What?"
"You heard me, you ponce. Don't make me ask again," she forced out through clenched teeth, agitation rolling off her in waves.
"That's… I'm not sure that's a good idea," Percy managed, unable to even conceive of sleeping in the same room without in some way being in physical contact with her.
Pansy rolled her eyes at his reluctance. "Fine. Whatever. Don't move back in. Please just come sleep in the room with me for one night. Healer Wood suspects it will resolve my issues. I want to test her theory."
"Just sleep?" Percy was dubious.
"Yes, you maggot. Just sleep. How disgusting," Pansy spouted haughtily, but couldn't stop her earlier fantasy of showering with him from blooming into fruition, however with much more visual information to fill out the glorious details.
Percy's eyes momentarily hooded in disdain. "Sounds lovely," he responded flatly.
"If it ends up helping and we don't kill each other, then… then perhaps you can move your things back into our room," Pansy announced with a false air of pompous finality.
"To sleep on the lounge?" Percy did not sound remotely convinced.
"I'm sure we can have Tibby magic you a bed. The room's large enough."
Percy eyed Pansy closely. She was trying to stand tall, regal and proud, but he could clearly detect her apprehension.
"Fine. If you think it will help," he muttered, serious reservations clouding his mind.
"Thank you," she offered.
"You're welcome," he responded.
"I should probably leave," Pansy provided, becoming acutely aware of the fact that he was still half naked but making no actual move to depart. Instead, her eyes started to skitter to his bare chest and arms again.
"That would be great," Percy agreed, narrowing his eyes at her. Was she checking him out? "Pansy?"
"Hm? What? Yes," Her eyes darted up to meet his, as if she'd been caught with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar.
"May I have some privacy to finish dressing?" he asked, a shy half smile pulling up the right side of his mouth.
"Yes, of course. Sorry. Have a good day at work," she tossed over her shoulder as she made her way to the door, then turned back suddenly. "Will you be back for dinner?"
"Always," he hummed more to himself as he started to pull on his shirt and Pansy felt a swell of warmth flood her chest. She needed to get out of there and fast before she did something to further embarrass herself.